To do list for a (your age)-year-old girl in Seoul:

MEET SEVENTEENNNN AT CARAT LAND JAMSIL INDOOR STADIUM
Eat as much as I can
Shopping
Sight-seeing
Eat
Eat
Sight-seeing
MEET SEVENTEEN FOR GOD’S SAKE IT’S MY THIRTEEN BABIESS especially, my bias, (your bias’s name)
- end list-
Yes, the list starts and ends with my priority, my babies =)
SEVENTEEN NUGU AEGIIII?? (YOUR NAME) AEGIIII!!

It was the first day I’m in Seoul, Korea. Of course, I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO COME THERE FOR THE LONGEST TIME EVER, but let’s calm down because we’re cool. We? I mean me, because I was the only one there. Well back in (your country), I used to say ‘we’ cause I’m with my girls sooooo yea, you get the point. It’s 11:50 p.m. and I was strolling around Jamsilbon-dong neighbourhood to see the beauty in Jamsilbon-dong at night after confirming the location of the stadium. Moving on, I was actually strolling and strolling, since 9:00 p.m. It’s now 11:45 p.m. and that’s when I realised that I’ve been strolling for almost 3 hours. I think this is because I was admiring the lake for so long. Well it’s almost midnight, I might as well enjoy my night with street foods for supper. I walked to nearest the street stall to me, entered, bought one kimbap, three odeng and a soda.

This girl was so afraid to order a beer cause she had to walk to the hotel so she can’t afford to be drunk people, no no no. The stall was kind of half empty because people especially couples were starting to leave as it was already midnight. I took a seat beside the table occupied by a man with hoodie and jeans with a hat. That man looked so sad and miserable by the way he covered all of his head while looking down to the ground. I ignored him and started eating. The kimbap and odeng were sooooo good and the soda was refreshing, I’m touched. Thank you, owner who made such delicious foods. I appreciate you.

As I was finishing my food and I am about to get up, the guy beside my table was falling to the ground and rambled something about dance practice. I caught him right before he fell to the ground but his hat fell off. I wanted to speak to him so I tried to look for his face. I put him back on his seat and he shouted something. I automatically placed my palm on his mouth and he stayed silent. A few of old and young people looked at us and I gestured sorry with my hands. I picked up his hat and placed it on his table. I looked for his face as I was thinking something like ‘is he okay?’ and ‘what’s his name?’. I placed my hand on his chin and lifted his head up so I can see him clearly. AND I WAS SUPER SHOCKED. THAT RAMBLING GUY WAS (BIAS’S NAME). THE GUY THAT I HAVE BEEN LIKING AND SUPPORTING FOR YEARS AND MY HAND WAS RIGHT THERE ON HIS CHIN. I let him go and I sat back on my chair. DUDE THAT IS (BIAS’S NAME) IN FRONT OF ME!

As I was trying to put the pieces in the right place in my mind, he shouted again. And that was it, I took (bias’s name)’s hat and put it back on him. I took my bag and his bag while dragging him out of the stall. Yes, of course I like him, but I won’t activate my fangirling mode in that situation. He was drunk and he can do anything without realising in that stall. And he’s a freaking superstar and I can’t let paparazzi get what they want.

I walked him to the nearest bench at the park opposite the stall and I sat him there. I sat beside him and asked “Dude, are you okay?”. He replied “whatjeferbfkrhfwhbwhgkw” and “whoddirugefnwurfbwkhfg”. Like that was helping! I continued “Dude…”. Okay, a drunk superstar was with me at that moment and he can’t go back home alone. He can’t. Cause he was drunk and I, obviously, don’t know the seventeen members’ address or contact number. Like I am a normal carat, not a saseng. So, I did the bravest thing ever, I might get slandered or arrested or bashed by this, but I walked to the side of the road, stopped an empty taxi, and took this drunk (bias’s name) back to my hotel. I tried to cover up his face as much as I can with his hoodie and hat.

After a solid 20 minutes, we arrived at Pharos Hotel and I took him to my room. (okay this sounded dark. okay no, calm down. please continue reading) I placed him on the bed (no no, not now, continue reading) and stepped away from him. I sat on the chair in front of the bed and collected my thought. So what now? What am I gonna do now? He’s obviously not gonna wake up at least until tomorrow morning. It was 1:00 a.m. I decided to go to convenience store to buy few cups of ramen, instant soup and mineral water. I was walking to the cashier and then I stopped. I grabbed a toothbrush at the end of the section and I walked to the cashier and paid. Got back to the hotel and (bias’s name) was exactly the same as I left him. Unbelievable! I am here in the Seoul city planned and arranged with every single activity but there on my bed, was a drunk Korean idol sleeping without any sound and this is not in my original plan at all!

My fangirling side of me started to kicked in but of course the rational part of me was the dominant. I placed the things that I bought on the table and walked to the side of the bed. I sat on the floor and looked at him. I can’t help but thinking what made him drank as much as he did. Sure, people drink all the time but alone without the members and I remembered he shouted in the stall. Rambled something about dance practice. Was it because their dance practice? Is he having a problem with that? But is it that bad? I laid on the floor and kept on thinking. Suddenly I heard a sound so I sat and looked at (bias’s name). He was saying something so I asked if he’s okay and let him talked. “New….song…dance…hard….high note…hard...”“Don’t…tell..members..don’t….wanna….disappoint.them”,“Members…will…worry…have..to keep…happy face….” and he stopped. The words were clear and unclear at the same time. Not wanting to think more at that moment, I laid back down and after a minute or two, I fell asleep.

I woke up at 7:30 a.m. and saw (bias’s name) still sleeping comfortably on the bed. I took a shower and boiled some hot water. I took out and prepared two cups of ramen and instant soup and placed it on the table. I placed the mineral water beside the ramen. I washed my hands and walked to the side of the bed and splashed the water on (bias’s name)’s face. He looked disturbed by the water. So I splashed some more. He woke up and massaged his temple. “Are you okay?”, I asked. He wasn’t showing any sign to reply my question so I asked again. He looked at me and he was so shocked and jumped out of the bed. Boiiiiii I tell you that guy gave some big reaction. Like he was overly shocked. I mean calm down, it’s not like I was laying down beside you or something. I was standing stiffly on the other side of the bed, nowhere near him.

He looked confused and shocked at the same time and shot me with questions like “Who are you?”, “Where am I?”, “What have you done to me?” and the list went on, you get the point. I sighed and stared blankly at his face. He was frustrated so he asked, “Why aren’t you answering any of my question??”. I sighed again and answered “Do you hear yourself? You’re not even giving me any chance to reply. Now can you please sit down and I’ll explain everything??”. He shook his head fast and stared at me. I replied “Please?” and he walked towards the chair and sat down. I sat on the floor, took a ramen and eat it. I gestured my hand to the ramen, giving him sign to eat the ramen and said “Eat it. You need to be completely sober. You can brush your teeth using the toothbrush on the counter”. He took toothbrush and went into the bathroom. After few minutes, he came back, sat down and ate the ramen and I started to explain everything.

After a long explanation, he looked at me and went “So you saved me?”. I continued eating cause this girl was super tired and hungry I tell you, bringing him back last night was not easy. Like he was (bias's height) cm and I was just a stack of pancakes. After a spoonful of ramen, I said “Not to brag, but yes mister, I did save your image. You’re welcome” and continued eating. I never expected to act like this while meeting (bias’s name). Like seriously, I was expecting some squeaks with non-stop smiling. Might have to throw some tears in there as well. But this whole situation just activated 80% of rationality in my body. Another 20% is my fangirling mode, well you can’t blame me cause have you seen this guy? His wide smile can even brighten my whole day. Even though he was not smiling at the moment but being with him can’t activated 100% of rationality in me. We finished eating in just 15 minutes. Wait, not we. Me. He took only seven minutes to finish the ramen and instant soup.

I gave him his bag and asked “Are you sure you can go home alone?”. “Yes”, he replied. I raised one of my eyebrows, disbelief and he said, “Maybe”. I sighed. Let me tell you, yes, that guy ate the ramen and all, but his kind of drunk last night need a lot more than that, something like fresh soup boiled on the stove with rice or something. We looked at each other for few seconds while thinking and I said, “Imma take you home by my car but please cover up your face so nobody will recognize you”. (Oh yes, I have a car. I rented it once I arrived in Jamsil. I wasn’t using it last night cause I wanted to take a walk around the neighbourhood). I picked up my sling bag and walked to the door. I stopped at the door and turned to look at him. “Where is your house? You remember the address, right?”. He said yes, he can so we got out of the room, walked out of the hotel, got into my car and I drove straight to the address that he gave me. Oh, and here’s a funny information, he didn’t want to sleep in the car because he said that he is afraid I might bring him elsewhere or do something to him??? I’m so done with this guy so I said “If I wanted to do something to you, I might as well lock you up in my room” with the flattest tone I’ve ever made. He came to realisation and agreed. Then, he kept quiet. And all I can think at that moment was, that journey was going to be a very awkward one. I was wrong.

Let me tell you something, the journey was not short. This idol travelled a longgggggggg way from home to get drunk. Guess he didn’t wanna be found. Can’t blame him though. Life is tough. Well because of this boring trip (even though I was trying super hard not to squeak because that FREAKING (BIAS’S NAME) IS RIGHT BESIDE ME) it was kinda boring because he wasn’t saying anything. I think it was because he was trying to collect his thought and think about his problems and maybe tryna build a solid reason to be presented to Seungcheol for not coming home last night. I think we all know how scary Seungcheol can be. I mean look at one fine day season 1, members were called to present themselves in front of Seungcheol. For eating dried squid (that dried squid was supposed to be cooked and all members should eat them together, not just few members). They were going to have a longgg meeting I’m sure.

While thinking and driving, I was bored. Cause he wasn’t talking and neither was I. So, I the radio. Luckily, your girl right here is not so poor so she managed to rent quite a comfortable car to travel. Well, the songs on the radio weren’t really entertaining so I wanted to turned it off. BUT, right before I click the off button, YOUR GIRL’S SEVENTEEN’S SONG ‘CLAP’ WAS BEING PLAYED. So, of course I cancelled my thought to turn off the radio. S.Coups was singing ‘Seventeen right here’. And then first verse by Hoshi and Mingyu was playing. I told myself to keep calm. Don’t bust any move and don’t sing any of the lyrics because this is not the time to party. Second verse by Seokmin and Seungkwan. I remained calm but in my heart only God knows, it could burst. I mean have you heard the song??? That song can cause an uproar in the head. I thought I can do this, but I was very wrong. The moment Hoshi sang that ‘JIGEUMBUTEO’, I lost it. “SONE BUL NAL TTAEKKAJI BAKSU JJAK JJAK JJAK” I sang the chorus like there was nobody but me in the car. I continued it until the end of the song and there was no regret.

After I finished the whole song, then, I was brave to look at (bias’s name). He was shocked. Can’t blame him cause I sang like there was a party in the car. But can’t blame me, cause that song was great. So, in that moment, there was no one to be blamed. But the point is, he was shocked. I was also shocked (not really, but yea) though, cause I was expecting him to sing with me but I guess he never expected I could be like that. So, I acted like nothing happened and continue focusing on my driving. But that guy, wouldn’t let it slip just like that. So, as I was driving relaxingly, he said “Are you a carat?” and I, the girl who speak nothing but the truth, said yes. And that was the moment my 80% of rationality and 20% of fangirling mode switched sides. My fangirling mode is now 80%.

“I have been a carat for years now. I am going to carat land this Friday at Jamsil Indoor Stadium. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, don’t wanna freak you out or cause you any more worries, cause you see how you acted when you woke up, it wasn’t very pleasant”. He nodded and he was happy though (that happy face, he just made my day). “So, who is your bias?”, he asked. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot me now, right now, right here, at this moment, let me die. Because you know what? I’m gonna be so embarrassed if I answer that question and I can’t focus on my driving so we’re gonna have a car crash so I’m gonna die anyway so let me die alone and let him live. Somebody, shoot me right now. But of course, the God wasn’t gonna fulfil my wish at that time, cause He still wanted me to live. So, with face straight on the road, I replied “You” without looking at him. People must be thinking, just lie you idiotic girl! Seventeen has 12 other members! Pick one! But I told you people, I speak nothing but the truth! (T_T).

You know what that boi did after I told him that? He laughed! I’m sorry, is there something funny going on here? How come liking a guy is that funny? So, I asked, “What’s so funny?”, and that ungrateful spoilt brat said “It must have been hard on you, liking me and sitting beside me and not be able to do anything” and kept on laughing. WELL. THIS IS FUN. IS HE TRYING TO CHALLENGE ME NOW? ARE YOU TRYING TO TURN ME INTO SASENG? DO YOU WANNA SEE WHAT I’M CAPABLE OF? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M CAPABLE OF BOIIIIII. I think this is the time for me to lie. I speak nothing but the truth but if this boy wanna play, we’re gonna play and I’m gonna win.

So, I did what my head and heart told me to (they rarely agree with each other, so when they finally agreed on each other, I have to follow them), I lied and said “You really think I didn’t do anything?” and smirked. His laugh became quieter and stopped. “What did you do?”, he asked. I sensed some nervousness and fear so I replied “Do you feel anything?” and he said no. He asked again the first question so I replied “I may or may not put sleeping pills in your ramen, well I know that’s a bit crazy, but I can’t put in into your water, it’ll be too obvious”. He stopped talking completely and he was shook. So, I continued talking, “Do you feel anything? Well it doesn’t matter anyway cause sooner or later, the pills will kick in. Considering the number of pills that I’ve put in, the reaction is kinda slow though but that’s okay”. Boi that guy was completely shook. I can see it. But I guess a man has his ego so he said “I don’t believe you. You must be lying”. He must never encounter this kind of girl before. Serve you right boi. I kept silent for few seconds and replied “Think what you want boy, but I did what I did” and smiled. Evil thoughts and actions 101 with (your name).

While lying straight to his face, my phone rang. So, this ruler follower girl stopped the car on the side of the street to answer the phone. I looked at the screen before answering, it was my sister. “Hello”, I answered the phone call and continued “Dude I’m driving to a place right now, is it something important? Well actually I stopped on the side of the street but what is it?”. “It’s nothing much really, it’s just our sister in-law just got pregnant! I’m so excited, we’re gonna have a niece. Or nephew, I don’t discriminate”. As I was about to reply, that Korean idol unlocked his side of the door and got out of the car and ran for his life with his bag. He accidentally left his phone in the car though, cause he was charging it. And I did mean it when I said he ran for his life. He ran like there was no other option but run or die. I told my sister I’ll call her later and ended the call. I got out of the car and called for (bias’s name). He didn’t even stop for a second. He turned at the corner of the street and I lost him from my sight. I got back in the car and drove right to the path where he ran. Unfortunately, I lost him. Completely. He was nowhere to be seen. For a person who was recovering from alcohol, he ran remarkably fast. Guess he bought that lie. If he can run that fast, I’m sure he can manage to go back home alone. So, I drove back to the hotel laughing hysterically in the car. I can’t believe he bought it.

Fast forward to three days after the incident. It was finally the day that I’ve been waiting for, Friday. According to what has been planned, I went to Jamsil Indoor Stadium for Seventeen’s fan meeting, Carat Land wearing t-shirt covered with long jacket and jeans with a hat. It safe to be said that I practically covered all parts of my body except my face. If people think I’m gonna let the incident from three days ago end just like that, people was wrong. I planned a little yet tedious mischief plan in my head and it was going to shake that (bias’s name) real good.

Well fast forward again when we were in the stadium and finally my line was being called to meet the babiessss. I was super excited I mean look at them, all thirteen of them, in front of my eyes and I can actually talk to them and they look so good today, IT WAS AJU NICE! It’s like God was helping me. The weather was bright, I woke up early so I managed to grab a breakfast. The car was playing great songs when I was on my way to the stadium. Everything was great. Lastly, I saw (bias’s name) was sitting at the end of the which made my plan became even more perfect. And the fan sign for my line began. One by one went to each member, got their autograph, talked and laughed with them and move to the next members. I did the same thing. I was super excited to talk to (bias wrecker’s name) and he even held my hand and looked right into my eyes. It was wonderful. WONDERFUL I SAY. Time for the plan, before reaching (bias’s name), I covered my face with the hat and when I was right in front of him, I took off my hat and smiled sweetly at him and said “Told you, I’m a carat”.

He was shook to the bone but he tried to control it. I saw it. He can’t do anything because there were hundreds of people in there and if he exposed me, his drunk story will be exposed as well. Let’s not forget, I did saved him. So, we acted like nothing happened and continue the basic plan of fan meeting. I gave him my album, told him my name and he signed it. I gave him a note saying “Meet me at the back door of the stadium one hour after the fan meeting ended. You forgot your phone” and left the fansign table.

After the fansign, I waited at the back door of the stadium as I planned. Like I said, after one hour, (bias’s name) showed up. He was standing three metres away from me though. So I said, “Am I supposed to throw your phone to you?” and he replied, “Yes, throw it, I won’t come near you, you can do anything”. I laughed and said “Dude, you really bought that? Well okay, do you feel sick after you reached home that day? Do you sleep for three days?”. He stopped himself from answering and think. Receiving no reply, I continued, “No?”. “No”, he said. “I lied, because you provoked me. Relax, I’m a normal carat not a psycho. Now would you please come closer to take your phone?”. And he did. He came closer and took his phone.

Somehow the situation became awkward so I said “Now, everything is settled? Are you okay with the high notes, choreography and the new song?”. He was shocked so he asked, “How did you know that?”. He must not realise this so I told him, “Drunk people tell stuff”. He kept quiet for a minute and answered, “Yea, I’m working on the high notes and choreography. I told the members too, I had to. The members were all there when I reached home. Told them my problem. They faced the same problem too apparently. The new song was kind of hard for most of us so we’re going to make some arrangements later, along with the choreography”. I understand so I nodded. “So, everything is okay now. I better get going then. Take care”. He nodded and said “thanks”. I was about to leave when he reached for my hand. I stopped and look at him. He took out a piece of paper and wrote something. He gave the paper to me and disappeared behind the back door. He has now gone back into the stadium. I looked at the paper. It was written “Take care of yourself too”. I almost missed the sentence below the take care message because it was so small but I caught it. Below the message, a phone number was written with a smiley face at the end. I was so confused. Why did he give me a random phone number? What is the point? Like what-...WAIT. WAIT A SECOND. WAIT A SECOND. It’s not a random phone number. It’s HIS phone number. OH MY GADEUUUUUU. I squeaked and jumped up and down at that spot behind the door and kept on looking at the note. My jumping stopped when a couple passed by the street but not my smile. And that week was the most unexpected week ever since I was born. I can’t say in my entire life, considering that it is now four years after that unexpected week and I’m now, in a café, waiting for (bias’s name) to celebrate our third anniversary.

- THE END –