Chapter 2

Changkyun woke up feeling full and happy something he never felt it was so new it scared him at first but he loved the feeling, He stayed on his bed for few minutes remembering what he thinks it’s a dream he started smiling remember the hug and eating warm food with Wonho. “ oh Jooheon looks like zombie actually has feelings after all, are you smiling about how you go away for being a cheater and a stealer.” Minhyuk words were like blade stabbing Changkyun in the chest. “ what else would he smile about ugh he just annoys me look at him how can someone that looks like that debut, it just proves he did really pay his way into debut so disgusting.” The 2 give Changkyun one more disgust look before leaving the room. Changkyun sat on his bed holding back the tears he just wanted to crawl back into bed and pretend he never heard what the other just said. He never understood why the other think he paid into debuting he didn’t even have a coin in his pocket and for the stealing part he never thought he would debut hell he didn’t even know he would even end up in a survival show. all he remembers was getting picked out of 5 boys for his rap and K.will and 2 other guys telling him to meet them at a restaurant, he didn’t know he would walk into a survival show and end up debuting a few weeks later.

changkyun gathered himself and wore his clothes and was about to go to the bathroom when he saw Wonho smiling at him. He strangely looks at the older not understanding why he was smiling at him so he ignored it and walked into the bathroom. Wonho laughed wearing his shoes “ he really thinks it was a dream” He said to himself. “ talking to yourself again Hyung” Kihyun said stopping in front of Wonho. “Nah just remembering something.” “that's weird who remember things out aloud.”  “anyways, dude you won’t believe how cute our maknae is the kid is the most adorable person I ever saw you would have laughed if you saw him with two stuffed cheeks looking at you with his puppy-like eyes just begging you to love him.” Wonho smiled remember Changkyun stuffed checks and cute jousters. “ we all know Jooheon his adorable you don’t need to tell me.” Kihyun said rolling his eyes and walking away. Wonho was speechless he stood there for a complete minute thinking about what Kihyun said. “ you seriously don’t even acknowledge him  as our maknae.”

By the time Changkyun walked out of the bathroom everyone was ready he was about to wear his shoes when he found them waiting for him in front of the door. He looked at them confusedly not knowing why they were at the front the door. “hey kiddo we are going to stop by the store to pick up breakfast what anything.” Changkyun was taken back when he heard Wonho call him kiddo more shocked that he was asking him what he wanted to eat. “ ahh I’m not hungry” he said awkwardly doing his best not to look at the oldest . “ bagel and coffee it is, so come on there waiting for us.” Changkyun wanted to protest against but Wonho was already out of the door he quickly followed closing the door behind him. As Wonho got in the car Minhyuk and Hyungwon made an angry jouster showing they were still mad at the older for what happened yesterday. “ you guys can be mad all you want I’m not apologizing.” The 2 rolled there eyes as Wonho helped Changkyun into the car. Changkyun was still weird out of why Wonho was being so nice to him he will admit Wonho was the only one out of the 6 who never picked on him or said anything mean to him, but the older never talked to him before so him acting all nice and smiling made Changkyun suspicious, as if it was a prank to see if he would fall for the niceness and if he did he would get laughed at for it later.

The practice was usually for the youngest he got yelled and was given some disgusted looks, but today practice was different too, there was Wonho who give the younger a smile and even told him he could do if just cleared his mind a bit. Changkyun thought it was a fake encouragement but it also gave him strength. Seeing Wonho actually encouraging gave the younger hope that maybe all was not lost maybe one day the members will come around and see him as one of them. Wonho encouragement actually helped with the hopes of change Changkyun got the dance down and it made the younger smile but he didn’t show it to the other, scared Jooheon and Minhyuk would take it the wrong way again. After the dance practice was vocal practice something Changkyun wasn't looking forward to one because he was going to be stuck in a room with Jooheon who would just look at him with disgust and talk about how horrible his rap is, and that no one could stand such a rap. He wanted to stay with Wonho who made him feel safe for reasons Changkyun didn’t understand yet.

Jooheon was writing down his rap when Changkyun walked in with his beat down look, the older rolled his eyes he didn’t understand why someone who stole his best friend spot always looked like the victim, it was nothing more than he deserves. Jooheon believed they were being nice to him if it was another group they would have beaten him up or done something worse. “ for once can you stop acting like we ing abuse you, we don’t even do anything to you.” Jooheon barked at the younger who quickly looked down not wanting to look at Jooheon. “ and look at me when I talk you, you’re so annoying how the hell did your parents even deal with you.” Changkyun looked up at Jooheon not wanting to get yelled anymore but hearing Jooheon mention his parents made Changkyun furious but he didn’t dare show it. “ can you stop acting like a you took away my best friend dream and even mine when you ing stole his spot so stop acting like a dang victim. “ Changkyun wanted to walk away and hide but he felt his whole body going numb he didn’t know what was happening, for a quick sec he felt this weird Feeling overtaking his body and it made him feel cold like the cold sweats he woke up from every night. And he quickly knew what was happening his heart was beating hard and breathing becomes difficult and without thinking he spirit out of the room and into the bathroom. He splashed cold water into his face while he tried to take in oxygen but nothing was going into his lungs.

Shownu flushes the toilet he was about to open his door when he heard someone fighting to breathe he quickly open the door but he was not expecting to see the youngest member in his group on his knees while he held tight to the sink. The scene was so heartbreaking it got the oldest on his knees calling the youngest name few times but got nothing that’s when he realized the youngest was in full panic attack he quickly grabbed Changkyun and placed him in between his legs while the youngest back was against his chest. Shownu Rubbed the back of Changkyun while he told him to breathe when he got nothing he turned Changkyun around and put his ear on this his chest hoping the youngest would follow the rhythm of his heart. he knew Changkyun couldn’t hear him but maybe hearing the normal heartbeat would help him understand what it meant after 5 minutes like that Changkyun started to follow Shownu heartbeat. The oldest didn’t even know he was holding his breath until he was sure Changkyun panic attack went way. He had millions of questions from what happened, how he end up like this but he knew the reasons. They were putting too much on him sometimes they all forget Changkyun is only 20 a child who doesn't deserve all the hate. When the youngest breathing become normal he fell asleep it scared Shownu for a sec thinking of the worsted. He carried Changkyun bridal way into the vocal room Wonho was in. “ what happened Wonho asked surprised when he saw Changkyun in Shownu's arms. “He will be alright he just had a panic attack let him rest for a bit.” Wonho helped Shownu lay the youngest on the couch and put a blanket over him. They both watch the rise and fall of the Changkyun chest, Shownu felt relieved while wonho felt anxiety he had this feeling this wasn’t changkyun first panic attack and broke his heart as he thought about the days Changkyun came home late, was he laying somewhere unconscious and it scared him to death thinking about it.