Changkyun woke up feeling like he didn't understand what's wrong. All he knew was he went to bed feeling hopeful about the coming week and now all he wanted to do is sleep and forget about the world. There was a sharp pain in his head which made it even hard for him to lift his head. His whole body ached as if he exercised for hours non-stop. And the worst part was he felt like throwing up, but every time he ran to the bathroom nothing would come out he’s body felt weaker than normal and he can’t recall what was making him feel so sick. 

Most members were in the kitchen eating breakfast talking about traveling to Los Angeles after their return. Wonho who usually wakes changkyun up in the morning decided to let the youngest sleep a little bit more since he went to bed late. Through their chats jooheon got up to use the bathroom, he was about to enter when he heard someone throwing up. Already knowing who it might be he had the urge to check on him but went against, He stood near the door just waiting but would put his war against the door to silently check on the youngest. 

Changkyun got up and just washed his face with cold water. He was angry that he couldn't throw up; he just wanted to let out whatever was making his stomach worse. He shut the water and went out to change into a different pair of clothes. He knew he couldn't eat breakfast and telling that to Wonho without telling the older he was sick would be hard. Since Wonho wouldn't allow him out without eating. He closed his eyes and opened the door in front of him, stood Jooheon who had his arms folded. “ Oh sorry Hyung, I didn't know you were waiting to use the bathroom,” the younger said, not even looking up at him, afraid he might get scolded. “ It's cool, you alright though you were in there for a pretty long time,” Jooheon said with a glimmer of worry that the youngest didn't catch. Before Changkyun could answer Wonho came running up to him asking him how he was.  “ Hyung, can you not yell please?” the youngest asked as he walked past him and into his room. Wonho gave Jooheon a glare wondering if he said or did something to Changkyun. “ wasn't me.”

“ Changkyun, you okay buddy,” Wonho asked, following the youngest into his room. “ yeah Hyung I am fine just have a headache.” “ oh, why didn't you tell me, come let's get some food in you and then I'll give you some painkillers.” Changkyun right away regrets telling the older he had a headache because now he has to eat which his stomach wasn't looking forward to. He wanted to refuse and say he was alright that he needed some rest but before the words could leave his month Wonho grabbed his hand dragging him into the kitchen. 

Kihyun just finished washing the dishes when Wonho walked in holding Changkyun's hand, he gave them a weird look wondering what they wanted since he just finished cleaning and wasn’t looking forward to anyone messing the kitchen. “ Changkyun hasn't had breakfast yet so I'll make some eggs.” I just cleaned Wonho and no one helped me. ``Kihyun was trying to control he’s irritation but he couldn’t help getting annoyed at Wonho. “ It's okay Hyung, I am not hungry. I'll just get a glass of water and have something to eat later.” “ Are you sure Changkyun? I don’t mind making you some eggs and I’ll clean the mess, it's just eggs.” Wonho gave Kihyun a nasty look. “ yeah Hyung I’ll just go back to bed for a little while if that’s okay” the older nodded and Changkyun walked back into his room trying not to show a sign that he might faint any sec from standing up too long. The thought of fainting in front of his Hyung scared him, he didn’t want them to think he’s weaker or sicker than he already was. He envied other maknaes for looking healthy and put together unlike him who had a weak heart and scars that will never go away. He hated himself for having marks and scars all over his body; it showed how ugly he is. And he was afraid people would hate him more if they see this body so he hid it with long sleeves Shirts and sweater. 
Kihyun knew he easily gets irritated when other members mess the house when he just cleaned up but he felt bad that his attitude took the best of him this time, the youngest member who he was just opening up and accepting looked like he needed something to eat. He gave Wonho an apology after Changkyun walked away. He remained to make some food later and take it to the youngest when he woke up from his nap. Wonho just rolled his eyes when he saw Kihyun looking apologetic and walked away to keep himself busy for a little while. 

Right before taking a nap, Changkyun took some painkillers hoping they would do the trick and keep him from feeling sick. He closed his eyes for a little while thinking about what he was supposed to do to get better before tomorrow since it was the first day of recording and he was nervous about getting his dance moves wrong. He wasn’t looking forward to having Minhyuk and Hungwon yelling at him when it got a move wrong. He doesn’t even know if they just like yelling at him for no reason since every move he makes seems to be wrong in their eyes. Shaking the thought of getting yelled out of his mind he drifted to sleep. 

When Changkyun opened his eyes he was no longer in his room, he wasn’t feeling sick and he’s skin looked healthier than normal. Thinking about what's going on he looked around him to see where he was, but couldn’t come up with anything. Thinking maybe he sleepwalked in something but that thought stopped midway when he saw 2 men start to approach him. He felt this weird urge to run to them having a sense of home. He couldn’t make out their face or who they were but even in the dark they felt safe, he didn’t want to leave that feeling he wanted to stay there when something feels right. But it was cut short when Minhyuk decided to shut the door hard, waking Changkyun up. The youngest took a second to realize he was dreaming, “ what the are you doing sleeping at this hour, get the hell up we have a video to record and your dance move aren’t nearly good enough to be in a music video.” “ I am sorry Hyung, I’ll get right on that” the youngest replied getting off bed taking a second to balance his body. “ god why are you so ing irritating, I can’t stand you I just wish you could just disappear you don’t even add to the group.” Minhyuk words were like stabs in the chest and Changkyun couldn’t decline them. He felt useless and far from perfect. “ what the hell Minhyuk.” Shownu yelled, he was taken back from what the younger just said Changkyun who was just standing there. The yelling catches everyone's attention since they aren’t used to hearing the leader yelling. Wonho and Kihyun quickly got off the couch to check on what’s happening. “Changkyun, don't listen to him, you aren’t usually and you don’t need to practice today, your dance moves are all good.” The older did his best to reassure the youngest who looked like he was seconds from fainting, hearing what Shownu just said. Wonho couldn’t help himself but grab Minhyuk by his collar pushing him against the wall if it wasn’t for Kihyun catching he’s punch he would have given Minhyuk a black eye or something. Seeing the mess he caused Changkyun apologized to everyone and walked out of the room. He wanted to hide and escape to another world where he didn’t feel anything. 

Before Jooheon could open the door, the door flew open coming face to face with Changkyun who looked paler than usual and tears in his eyes. Before he could ask the youngest what’s wrong, Changkyun just sprinted into a run. He walked into the house holding a bag of snacks and looking around confused, wondering what took place the 20 minutes he went out for. “Joohoon did you see where Changkyun went?” the oldest asked worriedly. “ he just left the house, what’s wrong?” “ Minhyuk decided to be an or bigger than usual and said some horrible things.” Jooheon wondered what the hell Minhyuk said that brought the youngest to tears. He's not used to seeing Changkyun getting emotional, he was used to a poker face, one that made sure that people's words didn’t affect him. “ I’ll go search for him, I am sure he didn’t go far,” Wonho said, putting on his jacket, worried what Minhyuk's words could do to Changkyun who was already battling so much. The thought that he couldn’t protect the youngest from s angered him, they weren't supposed to hurt him.  “ Hyung, I’ll help you,” Jooheon said, putting down the snack he bought. He was planning on having a relaxing day before tomorrow. 
Shownu couldn’t help but give Minhyuk and disgusted look before walking out of the room, he could stand on being around the younger member after hearing what he said to Changkyun. He thought Minhyuk who is usually the happier member of the band would open up to Changkyun and give the kid a chance, but from what it looks he was starting to dislike Minhyuk for being such a jerk to a member who didn’t deserve it. Minhyuk rolled his eyes while Kihyun just nodded his head. “ God, Minhyuk, why are you being such an to him?” “ of Kihyun don’t try to act like you like him, I am tired of everyone being nice to him and acting like he hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s a ing burden and I wasn’t wrong for what I said, I won’t be nice to him or ever let him in” with that Minhyuk walked away and decided to go out and clear his mind.
The rain didn’t help with the research for Changkyun, Wonho called the Maknea a million times but there was no answer and he was starting to grow weary every sec the phone went straight to voicemail. The thought of  Changkyun doing something to himself was eating at him. “ Hyung what changed your mind about him?” Jooheon asked Wonho to get him out of his mind for a second. “ There's some stuff I can’t say because I promised him I won’t tell you guys, but the kid has been through hell and I don’t think he ever experienced love, so when we were hating on him it felt like home to him. No one should ever feel at home with hatred.” 

Jooheon didn’t know if he liked hearing that because it was making him see the Maknae differently. He saw the way trainees at the company treated Changkyun, always having something horrible to say, bullying him every chance they got. He watched from afar as trainees take chances beating him up and making him feel less human. He never said anything or did anything he just watched from afar. He just assumed the Maknae would tell on them or stand up for himself but he never did, just taking every beating and still managing to go to every practice never complaining. Now he understood what Wonho meant the kid never felt loved and was so used to such hatred that it was normal to him. And Jooheon felt disgusted with himself for never doing anything for being one of those people that disliked the Maknae and never giving him and a chance to understand him and get to know who he is. 

The music Changkyun was listening to was helping with easing his mind. It was making everything worse. He kept hanging up on Wonho's who was calling him nonstop. He wanted to be alone and gather himself and his thoughts but being alone with his thoughts wasn’t making anything better, it was making things worse much worse. And being under a bridge while it was endless rainy wasn’t the best idea, he was cold and hungry, he could feel the headache and nauseous from earlier coming back. Taking a deep breath he brought his knees against his chest and let the music consume hoping maybe he could get lost in it. 

“Hyung, I think I know where he is,” Jooheon said as Wonho focused on him. “ where is it Jooheon”  “ there’s this bridge cross-town he would go to when the trainees beat him up.” Jooheon said not thinking about the fact he just told Wonho something he didn’t know. “ the trainees beat him up?” Wonho couldn’t help but be taken back after hearing such a thing. “ ahh, you didn’t know, I caught some of the trainees being ru....” “ and you did nothing about it?” Wonho asked about cutting Jooheon before he could finish. “ I can’t believe you Jooheon he’s supposed to be out Maknae Someone we need to protect and take care of.” “ I am sorry Hyung, I just couldn’t see through my anger.” Jooheon always felt bad for not doing anything and Wonho being angry at him at the moment was making things worse. “ Where's the bridge at?” the older asked, toning he’s voice after seeing how bad Jooheon felt for not doing anything about the Maknae getting bullied. “It’s 10 minutes away from here”

After the 2 hours search, they found Changkyun asleep under the bridge while blasting music coming through his headphones. Wonho was happy they found him and he made his way through the sleeping Maknae who was shaking from the cold weather. “ “kyunie..Changkyun'' the oldest shook him until the youngest opened his eyes. “ Hyung what you doing here.” “ looking for you, I was worried something might have happened to you.” The oldest said pulling the Maknae into a hug after seeing how swollen his eyes were. “ I am fine Hyung, everything is fine,'' the tone of his voice brought more weary to both Wonho and Jooheon. Something felt wrong about the way Changkyun said that. It came off cold and unemotional, sending shivers to both. Jooheon took off his jacket and gave it to Wonho to put it on Changkyun who was only wearing a thin sweater. “ Come on, let’s take you home,” Wonho said, helping the Maknae up. “ I don’t want to go home, there's no one there that wants me around, nobody wants to be around,” Changkyun said with a bitter tone. “ I want you there Changkyun, I always want you around and I don’t care what anyone says, you mean a lot to me.” The oldest wanted to say that hundred times to make the youngest understand that he matters and he has someone. As much as Changkyun wanted to believe Wonho he couldn't, the voice in his head wasn’t letting him. But he just nodded and did not want to see the oldest sad for not believing him. 

Jooheon just watched he didn’t know what to say or how to interact with the Maknae, he wanted to tell Changkyun he wanted him around, he was ready to apologize and pull the youngest into a hug and take away all the pain he was feeling and all the hurt he been through. But he just watched and he knew Changkyun wasn’t going to believe him tonight, from the nod he gave Wonho he doesn’t think he believes Wonho. 

They walked home letting the silent night guide them, Changkyun muted himself from feeling anything, blocking his thoughts he just walked alongside the other 2 as a ghost with nothing to feel. Wonho and Jooheon both were stuck in their heads thinking what will happen when they get home, and how will this affect the band from here on.