"Rock, paper, scissors?" August suggested as she stretched out on the couch, taking up most of the space and leaving only a small space available for anyone who might wish to join her. Glancing around at the faces of the two girls she called friends August quickly realized that they hadn't understood her. Sighing, she ran a hand through the golden locks she had sprouting from her head and tried to think of the Korean equivalent of the popular game. They had to have one, right? It was one of the most ancient games of civilization, so of course Korea would have one? Not that its existance would mean anything if she couldn't remember the stupid thing.

"I see you haven't ripped anyones heads off yet, August" a lilting female voice said sarcastically from behind August. "Good girl" the voice said next as a slim hand rubbed vigorously the top of August's head. Growling August swatted away the offending hand, simultaneously looking up to see who had dared to touch her. Her eyes first met a row of perfectly white teeth, which had been exposed by a self-amused grin, before sliding up to make contact with the deep green ones of Naomi. Obviously amused with herself, the ex-model extended a cold soda in a possible peace offering. Thirst beat out annoyance, and August accepted the drink with what could be considered gratitude. Nodding in acknowledgement to the quick thanks August had mumbled, the fourth member of Girls Dead Monster, Naomi, neatly hopped over the back of the couch and slid into the spot of the couch August's feet weren't currently occupying.

A twinge of jealousy sparked in August's mind at how skinny the other girl was, but she quickly smothered it. An anorexic twig would look fat next to Naomi, so it was the sort of thing August had taught herself not to mind. Most of the time. As much as she could. Oh who was she kidding?! It bugged her to no end that Naomi, with her perfect hair, figure, and personality, had decided to her way into the group. Even if she was a stunning bassist, it didn't help ease any of August's jealousy.

"You guys thirsty? I brought drinks for everyone" Naomi asked the other two, holding up several more drinks that she had bought from one of the vending machines. After the drinks had been distributed to each member of the group Naomi nuzzled into the crook of the couch she occupied and rested her head against the arm rest. She looked positively adorable, and August couldn't help but notice the looks Naomi was getting from the various male employees as they passed the open doorway to practice room four, a place where ten minutes prior four sweaty girls had been performing their hearts out. Right now their choreographer was going over the footage he had recorded during the practice session, searching for a way to nit pick away at August until her brain exploded.

"So what were you guys talking about before I got here?" Naomi asked, straightening up just long enough to take a sip of her soda. Frowning in concentration, August gathered all her Korean language in order to try and respond to Naomi.

"Just how to ease our boredom while we wait for that stupid choreographer to come back" August slowly replied, barely getting her point across as her tongue stumbled over the foreign words. Naomi's mouth moved soundlessly as she played back everything August had just said, attempting to piece together what had been said.

"You shouldn't call him stupid. He's just trying to help you" Chung Ae, the first to understand August's jumbled Korean, scolded. The two of them had known each other for years, so Chung Ae had long since gotten used to figuring out August's limited Korean. Puffing out her cheeks in frustration, August slowly exhaled and turned away from Chung Ae. Friend or no, the girl did tend to get on August's nerves with her constant nagging. Sometimes you just needed someone who would make you feel in the right, even if you weren't, and that someone wasn't Chung Ae.

"Chung Ae has a point, August. You should be nice to the poor man" Naomi agreed, her flawless Korean becoming the last straw for August. Jerking into a sitting position, August glared daggers at Naomi, who was trying to appear innocent. The girl had just come from France one year ago, nearly a third of how long August had been in the country. So why was she so good?! Why had she grasped Korean when August couldn't?! After standing up a bit too abruptly and losing her balance, resulting in August plopping back onto the couch and ruining her offended, angry image, August rose to her feet a second time and stormed towards the door.

"August!" Naomi called out, but her only reply was the slamming of the practice room door. Angry tears flooded August's eyes as she stormed down the hall in search of something to hit. Why did Naomi have to be so perfect? August had devoted her life to everything Korean, so why was Naomi better?! Clenching her teeth, August slammed her fist into the white plaster wall of the hallway. A few cracks spread out from the point of impact, a visual representation of the pain that began to blossom in her hand. Blinking away tears of both anger and pain, August slid against the wall until she was sitting on the dusty floor.

Staring with far more interest then a normal person would exhibit at a dust bunny as it skimmed the floor, pushed along each time a door opened and expelled a burst of cold air, August tried to get her emotions in check again. Not that there was anything there to get in check. She had stopped feeling things long ago. Of course she could still be angry, happy, sad, and all those others things. It's what made her human, something she was almost positive she hadn't lost yet. She didn't really feel them, though. Her tears didn't flow uncontrollably when she was sad, she didn't lose entire control when she was angry, and she most certainly was never truly happy. Everything was frozen inside of her, unable to move because of the ice that surrounded it, blackened by a history of betrayal and guilt.

Sighing, August fished around in her jean's pocket until she felt the familiar rough shape of her mother's ring. Gently taking it out, she looped the chain it was attached to around her fingers in order to hold it tightly a few inches from her face. Half of the silver metal was smooth, while the rest was decorated by intricate flowers. There were probably a million of them out there in the world, or at least 925. She had noticed the product number one night when she had examined the memento more closely. It wasn't some sort of a family heirloom, August had sold most of those when she ended up on her own. For some reason she had held onto the ring, though, despite the heavy burden it carried with it.

Closing her eyes, August allowed her memories to take hold, creating a movie screen on the backs of her eyelids. Her mother's smile as she turned, just for a second, to face her daughter sitting in the back seat. The heart stopping moment when the semi suddenly swerved into the wrong lane. Her mother's scream, mixed with the blaring of their little car's horn. The crunch of metal and bone as the car was dragged beneath the semi, and most vividly was the blood dripping onto this very ring. Her mother's blood.

Shivering, August snapped her eyes open and stuffed the necklace into her pocket, where the memories couldn't touch her. Gulping in air she tried to calm her pounding heart, which echoed in her brain like a drum. It was a memory that haunted her to this day, one that she believed she could never shake off. It was the reason her heart had frozen. That day, she had stopped all emotional attachments. That had to be better than going through the gut wrenching grief of losing her mother, of watching as the woman's life slipped away from her. It hadn't been a quick death. Her mother had suffered for hours before finally succumbing to her death, and the young August had been forced to watch while her own broken body flared in near unbearable pain.

At the time, it had seemed like the only solution. Now that she was actually living with it, though, she couldn't say the same. She was a ball of stress and bottled up emotions, and soon she was going to implode on herself. She would end up in a psychiatric ward before she got the chance to perform on stage. Groaning, August wrapped her hair tightly in her fingers, the urge to rip every last strand out of her scalp very tempting. She managed to resist going bald, though, and instead allowed herself to draw dark red marks on her arms with chewed, dirty finger nails. It didn't help, but it was better than sitting around worrying about the past. She couldn't change her decision, ever. Her heart was going to be frozen for the rest of her life, so now she needed to learn how to live with it.

"I wish it was easy" she whimpered, curling herself into a tight ball as she tried to block out the world.

Chapter One Note: N/A