It took Nayeon three days to stop the midnight tears, falling asleep with her pillow getting wet and the thought of her being rejected by Yoo Jeongyeon.  Every time she thinks the words that left Jeongyeon’s mouth her heart sinks deeper and deeper until the pain is getting worse and her voice is echoing through her ears, banging her eardrums until it felt deafening.  She cannot eat properly; a small amount of water can quench her thirst and a single bite of rice can feel her hunger for an entire day. She looks really exhausted from crying, with her swollen and redness form her eyes and her face looks bloated.

“I don’t want to see you Jeongyeon. I don’t want to look at me with her sorry eyes. I don’t want you to touch or care for me. I hate……love….you so much.” She curled up to her feet and began to cry again even though she has a little strength for her to do. Moment by moment the tears can’t be stop, drenching her sweater with ease. She places her head at the edge of her bed as she pressed her hand against her eyes to help with her pain. Her voice began to tremble even more, she clenched her hand, it became a habit of hers to clenched her hand until it bled but she remembered that Jeongyeon used to remind her not to harm herself. She grabs her phone and started to text Jeongyeon.

“I want to erase you. I want to hate you but why am I like this? I still love you pretty face, I’m still lost in my memories with you laughing, dancing and crying. I still love you even it hurts like . You’re cruel. You’re mean. I ing……….hate……..still love you. I hope you’re happy.” As soon she finishes her message, as expected she can’t send it to her because she is afraid and worried of the outcomes. Slowly her phone slipped in her hands and began to yearn for Jihyo.

 Looking back for the last three days she merely survived the night. Jihyo brought her home, while there are waiting for a taxi Nayeon suddenly sobbed into her chest nonstop, hands clutching onto Jihyo’s waist. She held her in and she let her cry until her shirt get soaked from the tears; minutes had past it is getting worse, short pauses for recovering breaths, when she cry there was this feeling, the tender pain is present like an fresh wound getting soaked in a alcohol. She her back to let her calm and gentle kisses on her head; she remained silent, she didn’t say anything because she thinks she might hurt Nayeon more. The taxi arrived Jihyo let Nayeon enter first and then herself. Inside the cab a heavy silence define over them, Nayeon bit her lower lip tightly to refrain herself from creating a sound, she covered her lips with her hand slowly she closes her eyes to help her to endure the pain. Suddenly Jihyo’s fingers walk into hers without even looking; she gladly accepted it, her hand fit so perfectly to hers as if they are meant to be. Unexpectedly the tears stop, she feels light because of the warmness of the hand of Jihyo. She looks at their hand she smiled faintly. Her pulse began to beat rapidly, anxiously her eyes are glancing to Jihyo, she is submerged from the beauty she possess, the beautiful side lines she has, especially her eyes that highlights her look. Amazing. Jihyo caught her looking at her then she smiled at her but she quickly averted her eyes to the b lights from the streets. Her heart is uncontrolled and now she is worried that Jihyo might hear the sound from her heart. She bites her thumb while looking at the window. After a few moments she quickly glanced at her again, her mind went blank and her stomach began to release butterflies.

“Why are you looking at me?” She playfully asked.

“Nothing, I just find you interesting.” She replied. Jihyo slowly approached her until their shoulders are touching. They felt an initial reaction but neither of them reacted, which is expected from the both of them. Nayeon gulped down. “Do you want to rest your head onto my shoulder?” Jihyo bravely asked. Nayeon didn’t answered but she instantly lay her head gently, they’re hands are still intact.

“Thank you for tonight.” While she squeezes her hand carefully

Jihyo didn’t replied but she held their hands close to her. Actions speak more loudly she thought. When they are at her house, Jihyo walk her until the front door, they’re hands are still holding each other. She slowly let go of her hand but Nayeon held her hand again. “I don’t want you to leave. Stay for the night.” She nervously asked her.

“Why?”

“I just don’t want to. Hold me until I fell asleep. Please.” She pleaded.

“Sure.” She nods and holds her hand tightly this time.

“Let’s go inside the cold is killing Me.” Her mischievous smile cannot be concealing beneath her face. On the way to the veranda Nayeon get some beers and 2 bottles of soju even though she can’t drink so much. She began to gulp down the whole bottle of beer on her hand; Jihyo is in shock when she saw Nayeon drink the whole bottle single handedly. They drink in silence, hoping that it will finish soon, but they continued until Nayeon cannot stand with her both feet on the ground. Jihyo ask her to stop drinking but she strongly refuses it. “ANDWE! YOU’RE MEAN. NEOMU HAE” She cutely acts. “Okay, let’s seat on the floor.” “Okay.” While they are sitting on the floor, Nayeon act like a cute child who lost her toy at the park. “It HURTS! REALLY HURTS!” Nayeon bawl while she is embracing Jihyo, she find her cute in a drunken state because her puppy eyes and aegyo is in another level to begin with, she is no match with her cuteness. “You will not hate of leave me right? Jihyo? “As she looks at her with a serious tone, it caught Jihyo off guard. She ask Nayeon to come closer to her then she let Nayeon rest on her lap as she caress her hair, she tucks it behind her ears, her fingers that foolishly went to her nape area and wrote a word. No. “What are you doing Jihyo-yah?” She looks at her with drowsy eyes, she chuckled and cares Nayeon’s hair and she kisses her forehead. When she is sober down Jihyo sang softly to let Nayeon sleep;

“And I’m here……….Just ,just like I used to be…………We were here in old days with you…..with me.” Nayeon slowly dropping her eyes until it is completely shut. Every word that she sings is slowly trembling like there is a resistance. “My whole life and all my heart, you’re my whole life and………all my heart. Nayeon I love you.” She said it softly and she cares her cheek and wipes the dried tears. A tear drop in Jihyo’s eyes, all this time she restrained herself to cry in front of her, Jihyo stayed for a while she is at it she’s staring at Nayeon face. Her heart raced at a tremendous speed that it cannot be counted but she remembered that the girl who is sleeping on her lap is broken. She has an open wound in her heart. She cannot think of something on how can she mend or save the poor girl heart. She her head; carefully wipe off her dried tears on her cheeks.

When the night is getting deeper as the wind is getting colder she carried Nayeon to her bed and left her a gift at the side of her bed. She went out quietly with an empty and exhausted heart. There were no people walking in the streets that time of night since it is Christmas day, and then suddenly she let her tears fall as her weight from her body fell on the ground. She sat on the icy floor, body against the cold wall and hands laying flat on her neck. The sharp ice-cold breeze didn’t do much to stop her wailing, her voice is breaking, she covered with her both of her hands to avoid getting someone’s attention. The pain she is now carrying ‘til now is much heavier than Nayeon. Seeing her to do so much effort in confessing her feelings to someone she knew, how she dressed so beautifully and ravishing in front of her eyes earlier, it makes her smile and makes her heart yearn to confess her love but it is completely impossible. And now with her eyes captured and saw Nayeon and Jeongyeon earlier, it makes her really angry and hopeless at the same time. She really loves her, with the kiss and confession she saw, yet she still stayed at Nayeon side until now.

“Yah….stop crying.”

You hate her.

“Why are my tears can’t stop? You look like an idiot.”

She is the worst

“I want to be with her.”

She doesn’t love you.

The next day,

Nayeon woke up by the sun light hitting her face and now she is bombarded because she has a hangover because of last night events. All of the sudden a parallel tear drop raced down onto her cheeks as her headache hit her hard at her temple.

“.” She told herself as she tries to remember what happened yesterday night. She covered her face with the both of her hands. She sighed. She walked briskly towards the bathroom and look at her mirror, the swollen eye lids, the redness from the heavy tears, and when she looked at her hand she found her nail marks buried right into palms. She remembers all of it. She touches her lips, she felt the softness 

and sweetness of Jeongyeon’s lips but then again she was rejected. Despite with the ugly truth and the bitterness of love, clearly the pain she felt makes her more alive than usual. When she quickly rinsed and cleans herself, she went back to her bed and she spotted a gift with Jihyo’s name on it. She smiled widely and opens it and she is in awe when she saw a cute necklace with a small bottle containing a tiny rose inside of it. “How can I not love you Park Jihyo?”

Jihyo woke up with a heavy heart still; she quickly grabs her phone and texted Jeongyeon.

[JIHYO IS LOUD, 12:00 PM]

Jeongyeon, can you go here at my house? I just want to talk to you about something.

[YOO “OPPA” JEONGYEON, 12:02]

Sure. What are we gonna talk about? Is it about last night? I remembered you were not there at the restaurant I was looking for the both of you. What happened to Nayeon?

[JIHYO IS LOUD, 12:05]

Yes, it is about last night. Sorry if you went looking for the both of us. Talk to you later.

[YOO “OPPA” JEONGYEON, 12:06]

Uhmmmmm, okay.

After Jeongyeon finishes up her thesis she went straight to Jihyo’s. She rings the door bell and within a heartbeat Jihyo opened the door that startles Jeongyeon from her head to toe. “You startled me!”

“Come inside.” She coldly said to Jeongyeon. She does what she says that day, she sat down on the couch nervous, frightened and a little bit curios of what is happening to Jihyo. As soon she came back from getting some beverages from her kitchen, she sat down and had her legs crossed and began fidget her fingers on her Rolex watch. There was a silence. The two of them just waited to see who is going to start the conversation. Jeongyeon doesn’t want to stare at Jihyo long enough. “Jeongyeon?” She said.

is too dry to respond quickly as usual. She gulped and then she speaks. “Yeah, Jihyo?” It took a moment for Jihyo to respond. “I like Nayeon.” As she sips her tea. Jeongeyeon who is drinking her coffee almost threw up from what she heard from Jihyo.

“You like Nayeon? Like Im Nayeon? Our Im Nayeon?” She asked continuously and vigorously as she wipes from the coffee stain.

“Yes”

Jeongyeon threw herself from the couch and her head began to think and spin, her brain cells are trying their best to think the best possible solution to the situation but it felt randomized ideas swerving right on her head. Then she straightened her back and asked her again.

“Since when?” she anxiously waits.

“Since the first time I lay my eyes on her.” She sips again her tea.

“Why didn’t you tell me before Jihyo?”

She put down her cup of tea and look at her arms crossed.“She likes you Jeongyeon, which is the answer to your question.” The atmosphere became suddenly heavy. It caught her off guard. “I really like her Jeongyeon and to the fact that I always stood and watch the both of you cling to each other like a sticky glue makes me so sick and mad but again I only just smiled and watch, because, sigh, she really like you.” Jihyo stared at her eyes, her eyes is innocent but when she is serious she it turns into a lone wolf. It takes her a while to finally realize the situation that Jihyo is not alright. She gets up and sat beside her and says, “What’s wrong?”She places her hand on her shoulder. Jihyo shoved her hand away. She looks at her furiously and began to tear up, “It hurts. It really hurts. Seeing her act like a makes my heart crumble.” As much she tried to hold it in, the tears came out headstrong from . The water from her eyes continuously falls; there is no sign of stopping. Jeongyeon chocked and there is no words coming from to comfort Jihyo. That is the first she ever saw her cry like that. “I’m so jealous of you Jeongyeon. You got the looks, you got the fame and you got the brain. It’s okay if you’re going to like her back or love her but doing that to Nayeon last night really breaks my heart as a friend.” She took a punch from what she said.

“So you saw us?” she asked blankly.

“You ing kissed her and left her. I never expected from you to do that huh? You act like a girl or you’re already a girl.” She fiercely said.

“She asked me to do it Jihyo. It was not my intention to kiss her. I never thought that you actually feel that way. Sorry. ” She looks at the ground.

“Sorry? haha, You can just POLITELY reject it like the way you rejected her. You think and act like a child. Are you a fool? ‘Cause you look like one.” She said.

“Yah……….your getting awful. The words you are using hurts me.” She raised her tone.

“Huh? Really? You’re funny Jeongyeon. Do you think what you do to Nayeon is not hurting? The pain you cause her? You are really an idiot Yoo Joengyeon.” She carefully said it, without a faint of transparency, her words had finality and no matter how hard Jeongyeon pushes her to her limits, nothing can change her mind. She absorbed the words that she said.

“Before you say something, think of what will happen. I’m not saying this for the sake of Nayeon. I’m saying this for your sake Jeongyeon. Be careful with your actions and words it may hurt.” She ended their argument.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She slowly reaches for Jihyo then she hugged her tightly, she presses her face against her shoulder and began to sob. “I didn’t mean to hurt her Jihyo. She asked me to kiss her for a goodbye kiss. I’m so sorry Jihyo. I’m so sorry. I’m a ing idiot I shouldn’t done it. I’m so sorry Jihyo-yah. ” her wails grew stronger. Jihyo pushes her away and cupped her cheeks and wipe off the tears from her eyes. “Jeongyeon, stop crying. It’s okay. I forgive you okay? Just don’t ever do that again even she’s just your friend. Love and kiss someone who you really like. Okay?”

“Still I’m sorry. Sniff…….”

“You look like a baby. Ahaha stop crying.” She smiled and hugged her; she places her head at her shoulders.

“Promise you will not do this again? Promise?” she asked.