When I reentered my office, I at first thought I was imagining things. As I drew nearer to my desk, sure enough, there it laid: a neatly sealed envelope, just sitting on there on my desk.

              I sat down and buzzed my secretary.

              “Yes Mr. Hwang?”

              “Did you ever mention this envelope on my desk to me?”

              “What?”

              Her response made me even more cautious than before. “Can you contact security for me? Have them also review security footage.”

              “Yes sir.”

              The envelope was opened a few minutes later to reveal just an innocent-looking piece of paper. I sighed, dismissing everyone else. “Sorry for the false alarm, thank you for coming up here.”

              “No problem Mr. Hwang, have a nice day.”

              I picked up the envelope’s contents once my office was empty, sighing. It was a necessary precaution I had to take and was the reason why I had hired security in the first place; even still, it felt a bit silly sending a whole team to my office just to open an envelope revealing a single piece of paper.

              However, as I unfolded it, I came to realize that it wasn’t any piece of paper, excepting the fact that it somehow made it all the way to such a secure location.

              I honestly didn’t know what to expect while unfolding that paper, but one thing became very clear as I read it: resolving this issue quickly was an absolute must. If I could resolve it before anyone else had to know, all the better: the last thing I needed was my employees and family to feel at danger of any kind. In this situation, I was clearly losing the information war; I didn’t know how much power and influence this criminal organization had, nor did I wish to find out.

              In the end, after much deliberation, I arrived at the conclusion that I had no choice but to acquiesce. My building was an incredibly secure place, the CEO’s office being the most secure; if they were able to bypass everything as it was, that fact alone allowed me to gauge the amount of power they had. Who knew what would happen if I refused; I didn’t want my family to pay the consequences of my oversights and mistakes.

              Before even a month passed, Jonggu stepped into my office. Even though he was the CFO as well as my best friend, it was extremely rare to see him arrive in my office unannounced, and even rarer to see him donning such a hostile expression.

              “Explain this.”

              He threw a stack of papers on my desk, and with just a glance, I could tell what he was talking about. I knew he was smart—that was the reason I appointed him CFO after all—as well as quick-witted, but I didn’t expect him to become suspicious this quickly.

              “I’ve mentioned this before, haven’t I? A new plan to add private—”

              “Don’t screw around with me. The amount spent way exceeds the projections that were presented. And don’t hide behind the excuse of a simple under-estimation, I kept track of the financial records all throughout the project. I thought myself crazy to be suspicious of this sudden idea, but it looks like I was right to be suspicious.”

              “Jonggun, calm down. First of all,” I replied, thankful I had readied an excuse already, “after the project was finished, I realized I failed to take anti-EMP measurements into account, so I personally oversaw the installation of the appropriate protections.”

              “And it somehow slipped your mind to inform your CFO of this?”

              “Well, I didn’t want to burden you with my oversight.”

              “It’s my job to do this sort of thing!” he replied, clearly exasperated. “That’s not all, either. A celebrity was denied access to one of these rooms for ‘renovation purposes’ which caused them to submit a complaint, and when it was investigated, it was discovered that no such things were recorded anywhere, not to mention that there were no bank transitions signifying any kind of renovation happening.”

              “As I said—”

              “You know what I think?”

              I paused, putting on my best poker face. I ordinarily wouldn’t take too kindly to being interrupted if this wasn’t my best friend, but even still, it irked me just a bit. “Go on.”

              “I did some investigation on my own. Apparently, about a month ago, you did a short investigation on someone who snuck into your office and personally delivered an envelope to your office. The culprit was never found, and the investigation seemed to end before it could even pick up: that was the first suspicious thing. The second, of course, was the sudden introduction of this plan to create private, on-the-ready rooms for celebrities who wanted to escape press; while you may have fooled everyone else by providing your ‘modern times and problems need modern solutions’ and pointing to a recent example of a celebrity getting stalked by fans, I found it suspicious even before I discovered that fiasco with the envelope. Now that I have, I’ve arrived at a conclusion: do you want to hear it?”

              Panic was welling up inside me. Why did he have to be so smart?

              “Your private rooms aren’t for celebrities at all. Or maybe they are, but only when you know they won’t be used by members of a criminal organization you’re conspiring with.”

              My mind was spinning and I could barely even think properly, behavior incredibly unbefitting of a CEO. “How dare you accuse me of conspiring with criminals,” I replied while slamming my desk and standing up, instinctively taking the offensive.

              “Then look me in the eye and tell me you aren’t.”

              I cursed internally. Jonggun was always an expert at reading facial expressions, especially mine, ever since high school. If there was ever a chance to fool him, it was now.

              I carefully leveled my eyes with him and emptied my mind, replying with the simple words, “You can trust me.”

              A lapse of silence followed, followed by a deep sigh from Jonggun. “Must I find definitive proof before you tell me the truth? As your best friend?”

              This time, his words were more heavy, sorrowful, regretful. I, for a second, doubted my decision before reminding myself that this was all for the safety of my family as well as for him. Keeping Jonggun in the dark meant he had no sin to bear.

              “I don’t know what you just read in my face just now, but I am telling the truth. As your best friend, you must believe me.”

              He shook his head. “You know, I’ve never told you this before. When you lie, the corner of your mouth twitches.”

              His turning around flipped a switch in my brain; if he exposed me in secret, I was done for. My family, my company, my reputation…

              “It’s for my family.”

              He slowed to a stop and turned around.

              “It’s for my family,” I repeated, looking at him straight in the eye again.

              “I have a family too. So do your employees, so do your customers, so do the victims of the crimes that organization commits. Are you saying that your family is somehow more valuable than all of theirs?”

              The answer was crystal clear in my head, but realizing it made me hesitate. “Yes,” I ended up saying, “I’m selfish, I know, but that’s just what humans are. I prioritize my family’s safety because all the security this building has wasn’t enough to stop them from breaking into my private office.”

              “Let me help you,” he offered. I could tell that he was sincere, but I could also tell he was speaking as my best friend and not my CFO.

              I shook my head. “Stay out of this. Keep your head down and pretend you don’t know anything; that way, your wife and nine-year-old daughter can stay safe from them.”

              “Look,” he said, walking back towards me, “I understand your supposed dilemma, but you don’t even realize it’s a false dichotomy. Choose the third option: keep your family safe and decide to not align yourself with criminals.”

              “What do you propose can keep my family safe? You realize how easy it would be to kill them, right? Drop a bomb on the school, wire a timed explosive to a segment on a road that we frequently use, blow up a bridge as we’re crossing it—I’ve thought about it, and it terrifies me. Unless you can destroy the entire organization, I won’t budge.”

              “What would Mikyung think? What would your children think?”

              “They don’t have to know,” I firmly stated.

              “How long do you think you can keep this a secret?”

              “With your help, indefinitely.”

              “And what happens if I don’t decide to corroborate? Or what happens when I’m gone?”

              “Are you saying that you’ll expose me?”

              “As your best friend, it would be my duty to do so. It’s because you’re my best friend that I’m so adamant about you not working with criminals.”

              “If you don’t understand me, then I guess you just don’t love your family as much as I.”

              I knew it was a low blow, but the words came out of my mouth before I could think about them properly. I looked away from him and back at my computer, expecting an outraged backlash, but the only thing that followed was a deep sigh. He left my office without another word, leaving the incriminating papers on my desk.

              The other side of him being able to read my facial expressions was my ability to predict his actions. All I needed was one week to discover that he was working to expose the truth, so I did what had to be done: I removed him from the company with the help of the criminal organization I was helping by presenting him with an ‘intercepted’ email from him to a rival hotel chain of our company’s financial records of the previous fiscal year along with a request of payment in exchange for more information. Understanding the threat, the very next day, he resigned and moved his entire family to Korea.

              After that incident, I made sure that the next CFO was just as competent, hard-working, and trustworthy, but also subservient and obedient enough to not ask such questions. It felt manipulative to not select a more suitable, obvious candidate, but it was necessary—for the safety of my family.

              Nothing of note happened until arriving home after having negotiated the construction of additional rooms in key hotels. The stress must have gotten to me more than usual, because my wife instantly noticed and asked what was wrong. When I gave her the usual reply—that it was work—she dismissed it immediately, saying that something seemed off. Following that, no matter how many times I tried to shake her off, she remained stubborn, causing me to eventually reveal the secret to her.

              “Honey, how could—”

              “It came with a threat,” I replied, “A threat against our family, along with it the names of our kids and more importantly, our home address. I didn’t know—”

              “Mom? Dad?” Michelle’s voice drifted in from the living room.

              “Just a second, Michelle!”

              Despite the request, she appeared in front of the foyer anyway. “Dad! You’re home early!”

              “Hi sweetie,” I replied, a smile breaking out on my face regardless. “Where’s Stephanie and Leo?”

              “Stephanie’s at Jessica’s house and Leo is at a club thing right now or something,” she replied as she hugged me.

              “Dad and I need to talk about work right now, ok? How’s your homework going?”

              She pursed her lips. “Oh…”

              I chuckled and patted her head. “I’ll come out and help you after we’re done, ok?”

              Her face lit up and she nodded, beaming, a smile breaking out on my face in an automatic response. When my wife and I entered my office—the one at home—and closed the door, we resumed the conversation.

              “I didn’t know how capable they are of following through with the threat or how much security we would need to employ to keep you and our kids safe, but I also don’t want to mess around with that kind of uncertainty, especially because of how easily they were able to access my office. We have yet to catch the person who paid my office the visit to drop the letter off. I know how reprimandable my actions are, but exposing my family to danger is something I can’t—”

              “Honey, calm down,” my wife cut me off, placing a tender hand on my shoulder. “We trust the police and our security team every day, don’t we? We’ll be fine.”

              “It was only because I agreed to their request that I managed to fend them off.”

              “Then don’t place your faith in them, place your faith in God. Surely you know that He would never approve of your decisions.”

              “My decision to ensure the safety of my family?”

              Mikyung sighed. “It’s almost insulting to Him that you don’t believe that He will protect you for doing good, you know.”

              “It isn’t me I’m worried about, it’s you and the kids.”

              “God will protect us too. You can’t feel good about conspiring with criminals on a day-to-day basis, supporting them in such a way, can you?”

              I sighed. “It’s not about how I feel.”

              “It’s all about how you feel. You’re the CEO; it’s your company. Are you just going to let some criminals take over your company? First they’ll just ask for rooms, then they’ll ask for jobs, then who knows what. Are you just going to let them overrun your business?”

              It was like I could finally take a breath of fresh air. These thoughts entered my head in the past, but it was only when my wife spoke them that they felt vindicated. The day-to-day operations of a CEO were bearable, but when it came to stressful situations, important decisions, it was always my wife who spoke the voice of reason and aided me in both resolving problems and relieving stress. I was the CEO in name, but in reality, my wife was my company’s co-CEO.

              “I know, I’m just … paranoid, I guess, that something will go wrong, or that I can’t protect my family—our family.”

              “You can do it,” she reassured me, her hands working her magic on my shoulders. I ended up closing my eyes, the day’s accumulated stress evaporating from my body. “You’ve been doing that all this time, even before those criminals entered the scene, haven’t you? We all implicitly trust you.”

              I nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

              I immediately took steps towards this goal: ignoring contact requests from them, securing the hidden entrances to the private rooms with locks and cameras, and allowing the rooms to be used for their original intent. However, it took barely a week before another letter arrived in my office. Knowing who it must be from, and knowing that they still needed me, I didn’t contact the security team this time and directly opened the envelope.

              ‘You have been rebelling against us recently. Was it your wife, Mikyung? Or perhaps, one of your children: Michelle, Leo, or Stephanie? Whatever the case, we’re nice people; we’ll overlook this if you agree to work with us again.’

              The names of my family are publicly available information, I reminded myself, there’s no need to be paranoid. I had already set security measures in place, having asked the police to reopen the investigation all those years ago regarding the person who snuck into my office, further asking for their help in protecting my family ‘just in case’.

              However, despite our best efforts, the furthest we got was arresting the culprit who left the inciting letter, which was quite tougher than it initially seemed. It wasn’t until a week after shredding the letter, on our way back from a business party, that I realized the consequences of my actions.

              It all seemed to happen simultaneously: light filling the left side of my vision, a set of headlights bathing the inside of my car with another’s headlight, my wife screaming, my hand turning the wheel sharply in a twitch reaction causing my seatbelt imprinting itself onto my chest, a spine-chilling screeching of the tires, an abrupt jerk to the side, a sudden blunt force applied to my head followed summarily by complete darkness.

              When I opened my eyes again, it was like all the panic I felt in the moment of the crash slammed me like a brick wall. I attempted to sit up but immediately stopped as a burst of pain shot through my body. I grunted, laying back on my pillow. Was I in a hospital? Where was my wife? Was she ok?

              A moment later, the door swung open, a nurse walking in.

              “Oh, Mr. Hwang; how do you feel?”

              “Where’s my wife? Is she ok?”

              I felt panic settle into my heart as the nurse’s expression fell.

              “Mr. Hwang…”

              Maybe she was badly injured. After all, the car hit the passenger side, so that being the case wasn’t completely outside the realm of possibilities.

              “I’m sorry, but—”

              “Where is she? I need to see my wife,” I said urgently, attempting to sit up again, once again being stopped short by a pain shooting up my chest cavity.

              She looked down. “I’m sorry, Mr. Hwang, but your wife passed away.”

              My mind was a complete mess, a listless blur, for the first time since … middle school, probably. Was this my punishment for my decision? How could I just let down my wife like that, especially after placing her trust in me? How could I let this happen? How could—how did—oh my god, what should I do … what should I do? My precious Mikyung, my precious wife … how could I let this happen?

              I didn’t even realize I was crying until the door opened again and I lifted my head, unable to see the person who had just walked in due to blurry vision.

              “I’m sorry Mr. Hwang, you have my condolences,” the man who just walked in said. I cleared my eyes and verified that person was the doctor, as signified by his badge, “You suffered from one broken rib, but fortunately, that’s it. However, unfortunately, we’ll have to keep you here for about six weeks.”

              I shook my head. “No, I—I can’t,” I stammered, feeling … lost. “I can’t. My kids—where are my kids?”

              “They’re currently outside; we’ll let them inside in a minute. Try not to talk too much, ok? The faster you heal the faster you can get back to your CEO duties.”

              It was only then did I recognize this doctor: he was the one who helped my family with every issue we’ve ever had, from emergency checkups to the birth of our three precious children.

              “Doctor Kim, I want to—I need to see my kids,” I desperately begged, still feeling a stream of tears down my face.

              “In a minute, ok? I understand your situation, but we have to do some tests to make sure there’s nothing too severe.”

              I nodded, bringing my hands up and burying my face in them. I failed … I failed … my precious Mikyung, I’m so sorry, I failed you … I wasn’t fast enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t cautious enough, and it resulted in the death of the single person I loved most on the planet. Why didn’t I see the car sooner? Why couldn’t I react more quickly? What was the point of all my wealth, all my power, if I couldn’t even protect my own spouse?

              “Mr. Hwang, we’re just going to do one last x-ray, and then we’ll let your children in, ok?”

              I nodded and settled my arms at my sides, lifting my head off the pillow to allow the lead apron over my body. My children … I couldn’t let this happen to them. If my efforts weren’t enough, I had to just try harder—no, I had to do whatever it took. Surely, Mikyung couldn’t have predicted an outcome like this. If I had to go against God’s will, insult him directly, so be it—if it keeps the rest of my family safe, I’ll bear that sin to my grave.

              “Dr. Kim, when can I get my laptop?”

              The doctor sighed. “Already thinking about work? Mr. Hwang, you should just focus on recovering, at least for three days. After that, we’ll see.”

              I sighed and nodded, acquiescing to his request. I knew he was just doing what was best for me, but I feared for the sake of my kids the consequence of delaying my response. However, that didn’t seem necessary as a few days later, another letter appeared next to my bed. I clenched my fists, picking it up regardless and hiding it underneath my pillow: no one else needed to know the sin I was about to commit. If another reason my wife was killed was because she knew about the secret, then I needed to create as much distance between it and my kids as possible. After finding some alone time, I carefully extracted the letter and read it:

              ‘Our condolences for your loss. This will be your last chance to reconsider our offer. Write your response on this paper, fold it, and throw it in the trash can in your room.’

              I gritted my teeth, knowing that I was essentially powerless against these lawless criminals. I simply responded with an ‘Ok’, carefully folding it before setting it in the trash can sitting next to the right front leg of the bed. I took a deep breath: never have I been so hesitant about a business decision as this one, but it was necessary.

              I discretely investigated background of the driver of the car that crashed into mine, but found that he was as clean as one could be: he was just a teenager who was at a high school graduation party with friends earlier that night, his family was well off, he was single at the time, and the alleged reason for the crash was deduced by the police to be a mixture of him quickly looking down at his phone to respond to a text from his parents and the light changing while he was doing so. Without the context of the letters, the accident would seem just like that: an ‘accident’. This just went to show how powerful this gang was.

              As soon as I regained access to a computer, I immediately drowned myself in my work. It was all I could do to get over the trench that was the depression from losing my wife. I found some solace in my kids, but ultimately, my prerogative was clear: to protect my family. In doing this, I would stoop to any depth, clear any hurdle, endure any challenge, bear any sin—nothing was too much for them, for the legacy that my wife left behind. It was physically, mentally, psychologically exhausting, and I found myself drift further and further away from not only my friends, but as well as my children themselves, the ones I swore to protect, my sense of duty and responsibility to my family as well as to my wife’s sacrifice being my sole driving force. In the next few months, I talked more to my coworkers than my own children, spent twice as much time working than sleeping, and before long, I began to lose sight of what I was fighting for: days blended into weeks which blended into months, and before long, I was drowned in a sea of work in an attempt to block out the overwhelming sea of anger, guilt, and desperation.

              The event that brought me to reality was an email from a news reporter. Ever since that criminal organization established connections with my company, my contact with such people as news reporters was severely limited, which I viewed as a positive: having now recommitted myself to this path, I figured that staying away from the news at all costs was the best outcome. However, this email wasn’t about the company: it was about something much more important.

              At first, it simply looked like a run-of-the-mill threat that I would put some time in investigating before dismissing it, but what struck me were the email’s attachments. Upon inspection after carefully opening the files, the pit of my stomach sank further and further as I realized something: yet again, I couldn’t protect my family.

              Every single picture was that of Stephanie and her girlfriend, a girl named Janet or Jessica or Jenny or something similar, in an intimate situation. It was something I never wished to see of my daughter, and an inexplicable anger arose inside me.

              I didn’t have much time to respond, though, because in the email was a time limit: if I didn’t meet his monetary demands within the hour, he would let the countdown timer to publish set on a pre-written news article on his company’s website tick down to zero, its contents the attached pictures along with an overblown story about how underaged drinking was also involved.

              My brain was just buzzing with anger; I couldn’t let my family fall apart by another threat, especially not my—our children. Stephanie … what have you gotten yourself into? Don’t you know how busy your father is?

              I buried my head in my hands. I didn’t have time for this, but very clearly, I had to respond to this immediately. But if I just caved in? He was still holding all the cards; I could try to track him down, but the fact that I conceded against a threat only made me more vulnerable, but my family as well. What was the solution? Oh Mikyung, if only you were here … Mikyung, what do I do?

              The more I pondered the situation, the more my anger built up inside me; however, I couldn’t make sense of it. My emotions were all over the place, a psychological wound torn open in the face of a situation that mirrored that which caused the death of my wife. I couldn’t let my family suffer again for my mistakes: I wouldn’t let it happen. If caving in wasn’t an option, but neither was letting the article being published, then what were my remaining options?

              When I tried to clarify the situation with Stephanie, she provided no excuse. I had hoped that somehow, despite all the tests I’ve already done with the pictures, that they were somehow fake, but that hope was crushed by her response.

              As the minutes ticked by, my brainstorming grew more and more desperate, and when I was cresting the last five minutes, the realization that a ‘perfect’ solution didn’t exist dawned on me. I wanted to protect my family, but at this rate, it was truly impossible. If it was Stephanie who was endangering my family, then it made sense for her to pay the price. After all, she knew she was the daughter of a CEO; she should be more careful and more cognizant of this consequence for that kind of action. Evil people like this news reporter was an inevitability: it almost didn’t make sense to blame him because in his eyes, he’s just doing his job—and in a way, that was true. When such people existed, it was more in the hands of the victim to prevent the situation: if someone left his wallet out in the open, one wouldn’t blame the person who stole it, but himself for not better protecting it.

              If I couldn’t protect Stephanie from the consequences of her actions, I could at least protect Michelle and Leo. The decision that avoided the undesirable situations in which I caved in followed summarily by a barrage of constant threats to my family and the situation in which the article was posted could be avoided by getting rid of Stephanie—temporarily.

              However, the decision didn’t sit well with me. It was only natural, though: any normal parent who had decided to abandon his own child would feel terrible, but I wasn’t a ‘normal’ parent. Would Mikyung agree with me? Where was she when I needed her the most?

              The next few minutes were an absolute mess. I informed the journalist of my decision and summarily followed it through by completing all the necessary paperwork, also making sure to establish a Korean bank account before sending her off the next day.

              The decision took a toll on me though; the way Stephanie reacted, her tears, her words … it made me less sure of myself than I have ever been in my life, but more than anything, her departing words stung the most.

              “I bet if mom were alive, she’d hate you too.”

              Over the years, I replayed the situation again and again in my head: and while a numerous amount of potential solutions arose, I had less than an hour to make it. I would’ve liked to give myself the benefit of the doubt, but upon Leo and Michelle’s insistence compounded on the fact that Stephanie didn’t come back to America after high school finished, I finally made the realization: I made a mistake. Protecting my family wasn’t supposed to be an easy thing: if I had to face a constant barrage of threats from news reporters as a result of me caving in, then so be it. Better me than any of my children, after all.

              I just hoped that she would forgive me when I went to Korea.

SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK A FEW DAYS LONGER THAN NORMAL :C

Well, ‘normal’ as in normal for summer break, that is. By the way, I have summer classes starting on June 10^th, so updates will probably slow down then.

If you couldn’t tell, this chapter was a flashback in Tiffany’s father’s point of view, so something to keep in mind while thinking about the contents of this chapter: he’s a biased narrator, just like Taeyeon is.

Also, if you want to know why I named the chapter the way I did, head to my facebook page, where I reveal it :D link is down below:

https://fb.me/affkesujo

I’ll be doing this from now on: following the announcement of every chapter’s upload, I’ll reveal one small bit about the chapter (i.e. something to look out for, a tidbit about how I wrote something, an interesting thing I incorporated into the chapter, etc.), so go ahead and like/follow the page if you want to stay up to date with that!
Also, if you’re worried about liking it because sometimes I write and you don’t want others knowing that you read , don’t worry! I have decided to stop directly advertising those (if at all) on that facebook page because I realized it might be embarrassing for someone to associate your public profile with that. I’m never going to be releasing in a one-shot, new story format anyway, so if you’re subbed to my stories, you’ll know whenever I release a :D

Anyway, with that long spiel over, hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! :D