From how Jessica responded to my ignoring her calls the previous day, I assumed her predisposition would be to receive the call immediately. Instead, I sat on the chair in my room anxiously, staring at the black screen of my phone, the ring tone dialing nine times before she picked up.

              “Taeyeon! You called!”

              The screen burst with life as Jessica’s face replaced the black screen. The shirt she was wearing was a shade of light purple I’ve never seen before; maybe it was just poor memory, but I quickly found myself wondering about the topic.

              “Hi Sica,” I replied, waving at the screen with my free hand, “Is that a new shirt?”

              “Oh! Yeah, it is!”

              Jessica had this quirk about her in which her voice rose in pitch whenever she was excited. She must have been genuinely excited to receive my call from how she was speaking; but if this was the case, then why did she take almost half a minute to pick up?

              “I’m so happy you noticed!” she said, her voice again increasing in pitch ever so slightly, “I got this outfit a few days ago, actually.” Jessica carefully balanced her phone against something as she said those words, after which she distanced herself from her phone to reveal her entire outfit.

              She was wearing a crop-top, light purple shirt that was barely unable to cover her belly button, the upper section of the top jutting out slightly in a wavy pattern at the crease of her s, the lower section colored white with vertical creases running throughout the lower part of the shirt. Paired with the top was a standard pair of light-blue jeans that showed off her nice figure, the zipper decorated with embezzled jewelry.

              “It’s a very cute outfit,” I replied as Jessica did a 360. As she did so, something caught my eye: the state of her room.

              Ordinarily, Jessica was a very neat and organized person: every day, she would lay out her plan for what schoolwork she was to do and would accomplish it with nearly 100% certainty. As her roommate, I could personally testify to the fact that she carried on this trait to every other aspect of her life: her room was always immaculately clean, her dishes were always done as soon as she was done using them, even the way she ate left no crumbs or stains anywhere. My expectation of her led to a sense of bewilderment as I spotted a few pieces of clothing lying on the ground, an empty cup on the nightstand next to her bed, and what looked like another outfit lying on the bed behind her.

              Jessica didn’t give me much of a chance to observe, quickly returning to her phone and grabbing it. “Right? I knew you’d like it too,” she said excitedly.

              I debated asking about her room but ultimately decided against it. It wasn’t fair to expect her to be perfect all the time, right?

              “Is it comfortable?”

              She pursed her lips and nodded. “Yeah; apparently, it’s supposed to cover my belly button, but oh well.”

              I laughed. “What, are you just bragging about your s?”

              “Well, I guess I’m not not bragging about them,” she said, spirited smile playing at her lips.

              I scoffed. “I know mine are small, ok? You don’t have to remind me so often.”

              “It’s ok Taengoo, your s are just fine,” Jessica chuckled.

              “That’s easy for you to say,” I said accusingly, narrowing my eyes at her while she simply smiled back. It was then I noticed something. “Wait Sica, do you have dark circles under your eyes?”

              “Do I?” she replied, looking above the screen to what presumably was a mirror. I waited for a few seconds as she leaned forward, my phone’s screen briefly filled the light-purple color of her crop-top. “I guess I do,” she replied, leaning back, readjusting her phone so that it framed her face, idly brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

              Another thing I found amazing about Jessica was how much sleep she managed to get. Aside from being an almost straight-A student, she also found time to participate in her club, hang out with her friends, and read fashion magazines, all while sleeping eight or more hours a day. Maybe she just never had to worry about eye bags? I always assumed that she covered it up with makeup, but now it was seeming like that wasn’t the case.

              “Are you not getting enough sleep?”

              Jessica grinned. “Why, are you worried for me?” she cooed.

              “Of course! It’s summer break, you should focus even more on resting well,” I told her in an unintentionally scolding manner.

              “Well, I was so excited from seeing you yesterday that I couldn’t fall asleep.”

              I studied her face carefully, but she didn’t crack: she was wearing that innocent smile on her face, the type one was inclined to believe. It was a shame, really; as attractive as my best friend was, she never dated anyone in college. From what I can tell, she didn’t have one for the later part of high school, either.

              “That doesn’t sound believable,” I accused.

              “Oh, really?” she responded mysteriously with a smile of similar nature.

              Maybe it was because of my recent realization of my feelings for Tiffany—whatever they were—but I suddenly started to question her. Why would she lose sleep just because we saw each other? Maybe it was because we didn’t see each other for a week? If that was the case, then what about previous summer breaks?

              I uneasily shrugged it off. Before, I would always disregard Jessica saying such things because of who she is, and this time should be no different, I reasoned with myself.

              “Did you lose sleep over your job?” I inquired, “You don’t have anything to write in your report, right? Do you need me to help?”

              Jessica’s warm, motherly smile widened as I spoke. “Taengoo~ I’m so happy you’re not mad at me about that as well~”

              A well of guilt pooled up inside me behind the façade of my smile. It felt like I had betrayed Jessica, my best friend … my best friend. And for someone like me, who doesn’t have many friends, to betray my best friend was something akin to social suicide. “Of course not! I couldn’t be mad with you! I just …” I stopped briefly, only to be interrupted by Jessica.

              “Taeyeon, you’re doing it again, right?” My eyes jumped up to the screen to meet a stern-looking face. Frankly, I was shocked at how quickly she responded to me, so I simply let her continue on. “You’re blaming yourself for something. Do you feel guilty about something? Don’t feel guilty, even I admit that I’m in the wrong here.”

              “I…”

              I didn’t know how to respond. It was scary, really, how Jessica was sometimes able to read my mind—actually, now that I thought about it, Tiffany seemed to have this ability too. Was I just easy to read? Or maybe the two were just usually perceptive?

              “I trust that you have a reason for what you’re doing,” I told her truthfully. “Honestly … promise you won’t get mad at me?”

              Jessica laughed, as if I had said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “Taengoo, you already know that I could never get mad at you, right?”

              I nodded to myself, motivated by her encouragement. “Honestly, I didn’t pick up your calls was because I was afraid Tiffany might dislike me if I did.”

              Jessica’s eyes lit up—not necessarily in a good way, I learned: it was a look I recognized immediately. I opened my mouth, regretting my choice of words, but Jessica beat me to the punch. “Ooh, so that’s how it is, huh? You have a vested interest in maintaining a positive relationship with Tiffany? So the reason you betrayed me is for her, huh?”

              One would have assumed that at this point, after knowing Jessica for this long, I would know how to respond to this type of situation. I didn’t.

              Jessica, on the other hand, was pouting. “Taengoo-yah, you’re so mean, going after Tiffany when you have me already…”

              “Wh-What? ‘Going after’?” I stammered, turning my phone to the side to mask my flushed face. I mean, I wasn’t actively ‘going after’ her, but …

              “Oh, was I right? Is cute little Taengoo in looove~?” she said, saying the last word in a singsong tone.

              “Stop it, Sica!” I whined, “I’m going to hang up if you continue with that,” I threatened.

              “Ok ok, I’m sorry,” she said, chuckling all the meanwhile, “Don’t hang up, I’ll stop.”

              I took a second to regain my composure before turning my phone’s camera back towards myself. “Wait, so if that was your reason, then why are you calling me now?”

              “Ah, right. After you left yesterday, I asked Tiffany to reconsider and she agreed to lunch at 1 today; are you ok with that?” And before Jessica could respond, I cut her off, saying, “And it’s not a date of any kind. Tiffany tried using that joke too.”

              Jessica frowned. “You’re no fun, Taengoo,” she protested, quickly switching to a smile, “But if you invited me somewhere, I have no choice but to go, don’t I?”

              “So you’ll come?” I said excitedly, feeling a smile growing on my own face. When she nodded, I did a small fist pump to myself in celebration. “Ok, I’ll text you the address, ok? It’s a barbeque place,” I told her, getting up and heading towards my closet.

              She smiled. “You’re cute. See you soon!”

              With a wave goodbye, the screen went dark; I set down my phone and began changing into clothing more suitable for outdoors.

              A few hours later, Tiffany entered the private room I had reserved earlier, in the off chance another public debacle happened, with Jessica already seated next to me. Tiffany offered a muted smile and took the seat across from us.

              “We already ordered,” I informed Tiffany as she picked up her chopsticks, “So I think the food should be here shortly, but we kept a menu just in case,” I pointed towards the menu leaning against the table.

              “It’s ok, I’m not planning on eating much,” she replied, setting the chopsticks back down on her plate.

              Feeling very much like the facilitator in this situation, I took the initiative to set the direction of the conversation. “So while we wait for our food to arrive, why don’t we talk about something else? Tiffany, have you ever come here before with your friends?”

              Despite the question coming from my own mouth, it felt misplaced. If I, as introverted as I was, knew about this place, then of course Tiffany would have been here before. After all, the restaurant was fairly popular, from what I could tell reading online reviews. I hid my surprise when Tiffany shook her head. “I can’t say I’ve ever heard of this place before,” she noted, looking around, “How did you get this room, anyway?”

              “Oh, I just called earlier today and reserved it, and since it’s Monday afternoon, there wasn’t much competition for it,” I explained, “I just thought a more private room would be better if we wanted to talk about private things.”

              I wasn’t lying: this was one of the factors I considered when choosing a restaurant, but it was more of a ‘back-up excuse’ I fashioned after making the reservation. I couldn’t just say ‘well, I don’t want to be making another scene in public’ or ‘I wanted to avoid disturbing other customers even if nothing was likely to happen’, could I?

              “So how was work yesterday, Tiffany?”

              It was Jessica who asked the question. I was happy she was proactive in repairing their relationship but simultaneously worried about Tiffany’s backlash. Luckily, she responded calmly, saying, “It was pretty average, honestly. Well, until Taeyeon showed up.”

              With that short and succinct answer, the room quickly fell into a silence. I felt my palms sweating; I felt the pressure mounting on my conscious again as I attempted to draw up topics of discussion, only to come up blank. Of all the things there were to talk about, how could I not think of anything? Stupid, socially inept, useless Taeyeon.

              “Um—”

              The door swung open at that exact moment, a waiter coming in with a tray full of raw meat, a bowl of lettuce, a pair of scissors, a pair of tongs, and a lighter. After setting everything up, we thanked him as he left the three of us alone once again.

              “Let me do this,” I told them, standing up to place the meat on the piping hot stove.

              “Taeyeon-ah, you don’t have to do everything,” Tiffany said gently, standing up to help me, using her chopsticks to spread the meat apart, “You’re shorter than both of us anyway, so it would be easier for one of us to do this.”

              “Yah!” I exclaimed, hitting her arm. Tiffany flashed a sly grin at me before returning her attention back to the food.

              “We’ll do this. Right Jessi?”

              I was so taken aback that I found myself falling back into my seat. Jessica, who seemed just as startled as me, took a second before swiftly consenting, standing up and joining her, taking the tongs from me.

              The soft sizzling of the grill filled the room before long. I sat in my seat, contently watching the two grill the meat. “Have you two ever went to eat Korean barbeque back in America?”

              The pair briefly made eye contact with each other, as if trying to find affirmation of the question in each other, before Tiffany responded with, “Yeah, we have.”

              “It was Tiffany who usually did cooking; she wouldn’t let me help,” Jessica recalled, smiling fondly.

              I found that odd: to me, Jessica seemed like the type of person who always liked to be in control. Although she has never been in a relationship while simultaneously being my friend, I would imagine that Jessica would be the dominant one. Then again, so did Tiffany.

              Tiffany, however, didn’t so much crack a smile, continuing to cook the meat. I felt my heart sink inside my chest; of course she would still be hung up by it. Maybe she just put up a show to me to make me feel better?

              “Well, how has your week been, Sica?”

              Jessica paused for a second, replying, “Honestly, it wasn’t the greatest. I did a lot of reflecting, but now that I’m already committed, I can’t just back out now. I’m under contract too, although my specified task wasn’t listed as ‘spying’.” Jessica gave a brief chuckle at the end; I looked at Tiffany, who again remained stoic.

              “So did you know what your task was?” Immediately realizing the implications of the question, I followed up with, “I mean, is that even legal?”

              “He’s a businessman, Taeyeon,” Tiffany replied gently, in a tone that reminded one of a mother explaining something to her child, “Such a word as ‘illegal’ means nothing to him. Still, it’s one thing to do an illegal thing, but it’s another to do something that’s technically legal but morally unacceptable.”

              “Fany…”

              Jessica placed the tongs back down in the small plate it came with.

              “Tiffany, I’m really sorry, but what if someone else had this job? If I didn’t take it, surely, someone else would, and that person would be much more secretive about this job. I know I’m just making excuses, and I’m not trying to say that I deserve redemption for hiding the truth from my current best friend and my past best friend. I’m just saying that I have reasons for what I did too.”

              Tiffany didn’t respond, silently flipping the pieces of meat on the grill.

              “Fany, I think Sica has a point. Maybe if it was a stranger, we would have less personal investment in that person, but at least Jessica revealed the truth eventually, right? If it was someone else, that would have never happened, but because it’s Jessica, we at least know what’s happening,” I continued.

              “Taeyeon, it’s not as simple as that,” she said, transferring a few pieces of meat onto my plate, “You can’t trust someone who begins to lie. And I don’t just mean saying something that opposes the truth, I mean not telling the truth when prompted to do so. You’re so pure, Taeyeon, and I love you for that, and I hope you never come to fully understand my thought process, but through my personal experience, I learned that lying becomes an unbreakable habit.”

              “Tiffany, that’s not…” Jessica trailed off, apparently losing her train of thought. Tiffany sat back down, attentively listening to Jessica. Maybe it was my worried expression that convinced her to remain silent, or maybe it was a desire to settle things: whatever it was, I was glad Tiffany was exercising patience. “Tiffany, you aren’t the only one who suffered from whatever happened when you left.”

              As she spoke, even I could feel it: a total change in the dictator of the conversation’s flow. While before, Jessica was submissive, now, her tone now accented her assertiveness.

              “Jessi, I’m sorry, but—”

              “Tiff, I still appreciate you and respect you, but just an apology won’t fix everything that happened. Did you know how much I fell in love with you? Did you know that when you suddenly disappeared the summer before sophomore year, I almost went crazy? Did you know that I thought it was all my fault, that after what happened, you were too embarrassed to face me again? Do you know how many times I considered killing myself, and how many times I had a knife in my hand, all because I thought I was a terrible person and didn’t deserve to live?”

              Jessica’s voice started cracking at the end. I ignored the pain welling up in my own eyes, using my napkin to rid her face of tears. Jessica paused for a moment, looking down, letting me dab at her eyes, mouthing a ‘thank you’ to me before continuing. “I was in high school then. I was emotional, and now I’m mature enough to know better. Still, after you left, I have never dated anyone. I’m not going to lie: I tried, but I couldn’t ever bring myself to do it. And the thing is, in the back of my mind, I know the reason behind this: because I always blamed myself for your disappearance. I became self-conscious and somehow, subconsciously, deemed myself undatable and placed a mental blocker every time I went on a date with someone else, guy or girl.”

              Tiffany, the only one out of the three of us with a clean face, took a few seconds before responding. “Jessi … I’m so sorry. I wanted to do something; I missed you too, so much that I felt physical discomfort. I would sometimes just go to the beach and look out at the Atlantic Ocean, wishing I could swim back home just to see you again. It was when I was exiled that, for the first time in my life, I wanted to do nothing more than to just beat something up.”

              I couldn’t believe my ears. Exile? Didn’t this stuff only happen in movies and dramas? What kind of a father would exile his own daughter? I was starting to see why Tiffany always referred to her father as ‘that man’, as much as it pained me to admit.

              Jessica, on the other hand, had taken it much worse. I took it upon myself to transfer meat onto her plate as she stared at the table, hands covering , her eyes glimmering in the bright fluorescent light. “Oh my god…” she said, her appalled tone conveying all that was necessary to understand the situation.

              “Jessi, there was no way you could have known that. It wasn’t your fault, it was that man. Now you see why I hated him so much? He always acted nice when you were around, but that’s how he really is. He’s a businessman down to his core—he even sacrificed his own family for the sake of money and power and his reputation. He undoubtedly lied to you to get what he wants. Just as he lied about the reason he gave you about my disappearance.”

              “Tiff, I—” She stopped. I felt like I didn’t belong in the room, suddenly noticing stupid things in my nervousness like how the meat was probably getting cold, or how there were only two bowls of rice, or how most of the ice cubes were already melted. “I’m … I thought … I don’t know … I—”

              “Well, we understand each other now, right?” Tiffany cut her off, smiling. “Come on, eat before it all gets cold,” she urged us, motioning towards our plates with her chopsticks.

              Her ability to always put up a cheerful front … I guess that was just another point on the checklist of admirable qualities Tiffany had. My guilt for not being able to act as the mediator aside, I felt further reaffirmed in my justification for the way I felt about her.

Hmm … wasn’t sure how to just end a chapter after all that. Anywho, how was it? What do you think happened that caused Tiffany’s father to exile her?

Anyway, to those who are reading each update as they come, I guess my schedule is going to be once every 3 weeks. I’ll try my best to be faster, but—well, you already know my excuse by now probably LOL

Also, please like my facebook page! fb.me/affkesujo - I post updates on my stuff there, but feel free to ask me questions, share your opinions, or anything of the like there!

Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading! :D