It's already the 4th time that month that Minsoo caught Wooshin get flustered or was staring at the older's best friend and he has to remind himself to be careful once again. Why wouldn't his crush on her just fade away? For everyone of his friend group it seemed so easy. Wei for example had confessed a few months ago that he had had a very short lived crush on Hyemi as she had joined them the beginning of this semester, while Hyejeong was known for crushing on different guy each month. She fell in and out of love really quickly, but whatever Wooshin did to try and get away from this feeling, it didn't get less. More over it just got worse. To his excuse he told himself that he couldn't handle this problem like other people. Crushing on Miyeon wasn't the problem in general, so it was no use to try and crush on someone else like most people do when they feel like they won't get together with their crush anyway. The problem was that he was crushing on anyone in the first place as Kuhn had strictly ordered not to form any relationships in order to protect innocent people and to not make the members seem weak for fellow gangs. People that are important to gang members would become targets quicker than anyone would think and Kuhn had experienced that all by himself two years ago. Right after the incident he had called out this new rule and while Sunyoul and Jinhoo were both dating and getting to another step, Wooshin remembered the sad looks on their faces when they had come to the hideout to report about their break ups. While Sunyoul seemed sad for a couple of weeks but eventually got over it, Jinhoo was devastated. Wooshin knew that guy had been important to Jinhoo. He had made him realize and accept his uality and gotten into a new community. He knew about his gang business, accepted it and took care of him despite being the younger one. Wooshin isn't quite sure if Jinhoo had ever gotten over it as this had happened two years ago. The older brought it up from time to time, so Wooshin wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't yet.
Wooshin was some sort of person like that, too. Once he had let someone in or too close it would be hard for him to let them go again which is why he tried to stay with Miyeon as distant yet as friendly as possible. He liked being friends with her, actually. She was very out-going which had helped his shy persona very often already. Furthermore, she was probably one of the most honest and blunt people he had ever met which often created funny and sometimes even embarrassing situations, but at least you knew whatever it would be she would never lie to you and always voice out what she thought. Would she be as accepting as Jinhoo's ex-boyfriend?
"Are you dreaming again? Huh?"
Wooshin was pulled out of his train of thoughts as Minsoo snapped his fingers in front of his face, a small grin forming around the corner of his lips. He knew why Wooshin had been so lost seconds ago, but Wooshin dismissed it and shook his head. Minsoo had suggested that he should invite Miyeon to coffee; all alone and not during their Friday study meetings. Just the two of them. First of all, no. Wooshin was way too shy to do something alone with her even though he was used to her as friend with the others around and in reach. Then he could behave normally, but everything else and especially just the two of them would feel too much like a date and that wasn't allowed. Second of all, no?
"But she loves coffee! She'd love you forever if you treat her to one.", Minsoo threw back at him while throwing the basketball into the basketball hoop at the same time, the ball crashing done with a hard sound that was comparable to the sound his head made whenever the slightest thought of giving in and going on a date with her slipped into his mind. Wooshin, no.
"It's not that I don't want to...", Wooshin slowly opened up to Minsoo whom handed him the basketball. While dribbling it, he tried to think of a way to end this sentence without it sounding like he disliked Miyeon and not telling the real reason as on why he hadn't tried it yet. He had to be honest. He was thankful for Minsoo and they got along well. The older always looked out for him and he just wanted to help to get together with her. His kindness and slight playfulness made Wooshin want to just tell him the real reason, but he knew he couldn't. First of all he would probably not believe it and Minsoo would want prove and second it was against the rules. Xiao was the only one who knew, because he was part of it since some time. Before that Wooshin wasn't even allowed to tell him - and they were best friends since elementary school days.
"I'm scared of heartache.", Wooshin added and threw the ball, it missing the hoop and Minsoo, with his long legs, quickly ran after it to get it for him.
"Isn't that what love is all about?", the brown haired questioned as he came back and looked down at his friend, "These butterflies while crushing on someone, the nervousness when you confess to them and even if they say yes at first, one day you might as well get your heart broken." Minsoo threw the ball and hit the loop perfectly once again. He always blamed it on his height when the others complimented him and Wooshin was slightly jealous of his friend whenever Miyeon pointed out how much she liked basketball. Wooshin always told him and blamed it on Minsoo's undeniable talent - while he himself had absolutely no talent in basketball.
"In your story I'll get my heart broken anyways, so why should I try it in the first place?", Wooshin asked after their teacher gave them the task to practice how to pass the ball and they drifted slightly apart to throw it while being in an area where nobody of their other friends would be able to hear them. Wooshin gazed through the gymnasium, trying to spot his other friends. As always Hyemi and Hyejeong were working together, Wei was with another anime freak called Dawon and Miyeon was helping Xiao. Miyeon played basketball since the age of 9 which is why she was so good at it and lead both the club every Wednesday and helped out their teacher whenever basketball was on the plan. Basketball was also how her and Minsoo had met in back in 3rd grade. In school they had disliked each other, but as soon as their coach had paired her up with the new club member they had found liking in each other. Since then they rarely left each other's side. Miyeon always said, while telling other people about how they had ended up being best friends, that the best friendships are those where you disliked each other first, to which Wooshin and Xiao both agreed to while telling their story with lots of smile. They had a similar stories to M&Ms - what the others referred to as Miyeon and Minsoo.
"Because", Minsoo said as he put himself in front of Wooshin so that his view to Miyeon laughing at a silly basketball trick Xiao had tried was blocked, "you only live once and I never heard that you ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend. Dude, you're already 20 years old. Are you even living?"
Wooshin now grabbed the ball with newly found energy and scored it right into the loop. "You're talking about heart break and relationships, but haven't been in one either ever." Since Wooshin walked away to go get the ball and work on passing again he couldn't see the sad look that clouded Minsoo's face and he was good at putting on a smile again as the younger came back and passed the ball to him. He was good at hiding his emotions; he had learned that at home. He just didn't want to make people feel bad for his emotional state yet he often voiced how he felt. He was good at expressing his feelings by words only.
"You know that I still don't really know about myself and relationships.", Minsoo started rather shyly. He was still trying to figure himself out. Was he gay? Was he straight? Bi? He didn't know, just that he was often attracted to guys older than him and rarely to girls. His father had made clear that he wouldn't accept that and Wooshin, Miyeon and Wei knew about that story from being first row viewer. Wooshin frowned as he passed the ball back to him. He didn't want to remember that night.
"I told you to just do what you feel like. If you're way more often attracted to men but still like some cute girls, you just like both. You don't have to label yourself.", Wooshin voiced his opinion the same way he always had and Minsoo looked down with a sad smile while the younger continued, "Your dad doesn't have to like it." Saying that he simply just disliked it was far from what his Dad had done to him, but Minsoo knew that from time to time Wooshin showed that he really cared a lot about his friends, even if it didn't seem like that. Now was such a situation, but Minsoo wouldn't let him change the topic so quickly and draw it away from Miyeon.
"I guess I have to figure it out soon. Luckily I'll move next semester so I can freely do what I want from then on.", Minsoo added with some hope filling his voice and threw the ball a little harder on purpose so Wooshin would have to walk to the far back to go get it. This gave him time to think how he would draw their conversation back to love.
"Still I think everyone of us deserves to feel loved and go through heartbreak one day.", Minsoo thought out loud as an conversation starter as the smaller one came back. "Deserve to go through heartbreak? Are you sure everyone deserve this pain?" Wooshin's confusion was visually plastered onto his face as he tried figuring out his friend's words. Usually Minsoo always had the right words for everything and chose them perfectly, but why would he use deserve in that topic? Minsoo smiled at him with slight amusement. Wooshin was the opposite of him and not one to talk a lot or voice his feelings, values and opinions but rather showed them. It wasn't rare that he didn't caught up on him, "Going through heartbreak and the pain of it is something of the most normal things every teen or young adult had to go through at least once in their young days. We all just want to be normal and have our place in society, you know."
It slowly dawned on Wooshin and he nodded, more to himself than to Minsoo. To be normal. To receive heartbreak like every other twenty year old would or already had. Everything about Wooshin seemed different to him than from others and especially his job made him far from being normal. Now that he was actively thinking about it for once he realized that everything he did in life, especially in the last three years, was caring about high school, getting into a good university and the gang. Never had he ever had plans with someone who could be a romantic interest or that would lean into that direction. He had never felt these butterflies even 15 year olds were talking about and had never felt the end of a love story. Suddenly trying to let the feelings for Miyeon bloom didn't seem like breaking the law or unleashing the worst things anymore. Sure, Kuhn said loved ones would get in danger, but she wouldn't if he would be extra careful and not tell anyone? Especially not Kuhn? Not even Xiao?
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I hope those few people who might read this story enjoy the daily updates! Like Up10tion I'm posting daily. Also, have you guys seen the second teaser? Oh good god.
Who's your bias?