Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Genre: Angst/ Romance

Summary: You loved him with all your heart, but he could only give you half of his.

Jimin was the love of your life, your night in shining armor when she wasn’t around.

She was his ex girlfriend,  his first love, actually she was his many firsts and she kept coming back.

He had warned you she was his weakness, but you didn’t listen, because to you having him even if it was only partially was better than not having him at all.

At least for now.

Rated M: ual Scenes and Languages that might not be appropriate for all ages.

Word Count: 10.8K+

Author’s Note: SORRY I TOOK SO LONG!!! I have been working a lot.  I hope you guys enjoy the second part as much as you did the first. I hope it meets expectations. I am so thankful for all your beautiful messages and feedback. Keep sending them my way!! 

I am almost done with this series on tumblr. I will catch you all up here as well :)

Minor Grammar mistakes possible(I am half asleep sorry !!) . I will edit more if needed.

I am so nervous to post this haha. LEAVE SOME LOVE!

Heartbreak.

You had heard rumors about the unmistakable pain that comes from that forsaken condition. The boundaries between the mental and physical pain blurred as your body weakens from the instability of emotions.

It had been a week. Just seven days, yet your whole being was already giving up on you. Your soul’s withdrawal from Jimin cursing you into a hellhole.

The nausea came in waves as you laid upon the bed you had barely had the energy to come out from. The dizziness that magnified everytime you closed your eyes, creating a similar effect as if you were stuck in the middle of the ocean on a wooden raft as a hurricane blew with category 5 winds.

Drunk you were not, actually, the mere thought of the bitter taste of it sent you right back to the toilet you had been practically glued on for the past four days.

“You need to eat something,” Jin said as he placed a bowl next to your temporary bed, “I brought you some chicken broth and saltine crackers”

“Thank you, but I think I should just go back to sleep” you replied weakly as you attempted to shoo him away with your hand.

“Stop being so bloody stubborn.” he replied ripping away the blankets now sending your body into a shock from the coldness in the room, “You need to eat. Going to work and coming home to head straight to bed is not healthy. I am worried. Please.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Fine”

The warmth of the bowl felt amazing against your skin, you took a spoonful and smiled his way “Thank you Jin”

He smiled sadly at you, “You are welcome. I really do think you need to talk to Jimin though, he is hurting too (y/n). I went to go see him yesterday, he is not doing too well”

“Well neither am I, but I couldn’t stand by and watch any longer,” you said as tears once again spilled over your now hollowed cheeks.

“(y/n), stop stop, I am done talking. I don’t want to see you hurting. You were smiling a second ago, if I didn’t know any better I would assume you were pregnant” he said trying to make a small joke out of the situation.

Your eyes widened. Pregnant. The color drained from your face as a bit of bile rose up again from your throat. You swallowed. Jin’s clueless expression changed to one of equal horror as it clicked that just might be the reason you have been so sick lately as he saw your quick change in demeanor.

You set down the bowl and placed it beside you as you reached out for your cell phone.

38 unread messages and 27 missed calls. All from Jimin. He had been trying to reach you nonstop, but at this moment that did not matter. For the first time since you left you didn’t stop and linger on whether to respond back to his messages or not.

The calendar app was of more importance. You scrolled over through the dates, your last menstrual cycle was 2 months ago….all the commotion in your life leaving you no time to worry about mother nature and her monthly visits.

Jin peaked over your shoulder, “You know google says stress can sometimes mess around with your ...you know….thing”

You smiled weakly at him...stress….”Yes, it might just be stressed. I probably just need more sleep”

The room was silent after that, Jin had excused himself, quite uncomfortably, leaving you behind to your own thoughts to go get groceries. You laid down once again not trying to overthink the situation at hand, maybe you were just a bit late.

Flashback 2 years and 4 months ago

“It is on the house,” the broad-shouldered man said winking your way.

“Oh, Thank you,” you said shyly, you were not used to getting attention from the opposite , especially this early. The sun hadn't even peaked out of the horizon and you were already making your way towards class. Morning lectures were not your favorite, but your procrastination had landed you in the only vacant spot in the last subject you needed to graduate, and much to your luck it was at 7:00 am.

“Call me Jin my name is Seokjin, but don't thank me, pretty girl. That fellow over there with the weird orange hair is the one you should thank” he said as he leveled himself with you and pointed towards a two-seater table where a lone boy had his head completely buried in a book. Said boy didn’t look affected by your presence at all, actually he seemed rather absorbed in the pages he flipped through every couple seconds.

Jin was quite tall and upon closer inspection very handsome making you a stuttering mess, “ Yeah...yeah I’ll say thanks, I guess…” you said not wanting to be rude.

Jin winked at you as you made your way over to the orange hair man, and subconsciously formulating a conversation that would be short and to the point, that would include a good enough side comment sounding grateful for his act of kindness with an attached rejection if he had any ulterior motives. As you approached you noted he looked quite disheveled and in his hand was a neon yellow highlighter.

He looked like he was studying, but upon closer inspection, you realized his book looked more like a coloring book if anything with the amount of bright yellow markings and underlined text.

“You do know the purpose of that thing in your hand is to highlight only the imperative parts right??” You said making the man jump a bit in his seat  Your deep morning voice making it sound more like a rude statement rather than the playful teasing one you were aiming for.

“Excuse me??” He said looking up at you a bit caught off guard by your sudden presence.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so…..ugly and stuff….but like my voice in the morning does this thing where it sounds like an old man going through puberty all over again….and I meant it just in a teasing kinda way. My name is (y/n) by the way... I am sorry I tend to blabber, stutter, and make a complete idiot out of myself when I get nervous" you said as you dried your sweaty hand on your pants and then put it out there for him to shake.

He looked up with an amused glint in his eye, and then a smile made his way to his features completely dazzling you, "Jimin, nice to meet you, and don't worry about it. To be honest, that is quite cute. Why don't you take a seat??"

You looked at the empty seat in front of Jimin, debating whether seating down for a few minutes would be a good idea. You still had an hour to class, and Jimin's eye smile looked more inviting than chocolate cake, "Okay, I guess only for a little. Thank you....for the coffee and stuff"

"The coffee??" he asked looking clearly confused.

"Yeah, your friend over there said to thank you...wait....you didn't …” you said your eyes now wide with embarrassment as your cheeks tinted pink.

Jimin shook his head looking quite flustered himself, “I did not, but I mean…. I wish I could’ve??” he stated more like a question than a statement.

You both turned around to look at Jin who had been cleaning the same table for over 5 minutes now.

“I am sorry. He was probably just trying..He thinks I should you know….He likes to call himself Cupid”, Jimin said as he nervously scratched the back of his head.

You laughed out loud at the shyness of the boy, it was not his fault yet here he was turning redder than a tomato in front of you, “Don’t be shy, I am a gullible person it can happen to the best of us, and look at this we made ourselves a new friend right??”

Jimin nodded sending your way another one of his breathtaking smiles, ‘Are you always this positive??”

You shook your head rapidly, “Nope, especially this early in the morning, but today feels like a good day”

“Yep, it would be even better if I could actually retain any of this,” he said looking a bit frustrated at the notes in front of him.

You eyes his paper once again, and smiled brightly at him taking out your spiral notebook, “I told you it feels like a good day. Here you go, the notes are there, highlighted in different colors by categories”

“You are taking Advanced Literature too??” he asked as he excitedly skimmed through your notes.

“Yes, I am in the 4pm lecture,” you said smiling at the enthusiastic boy in front of you.

“Me too!! I haven’t seen you there, but then again there is like 200 students in the lecture hall at the same time. I feel awful for procrastinating on my studying for the test today” he said now looking completely devastated.

Seeing him slightly pout making your heart tug a bit, “How about I stay with you here and help you study?? I need the review anyway”

“Are you sure?? I don’t want to impose” he replied as he took a sip of the coffee and the cringing a bit making him look a hundred times cuter.

You took a moment to observe the man in front of you and before your mind could speak your heart did, “I am sure, plus whether it was indirectly or not you did hook it up with free coffee”

This had been the first time you ditched a class willingly, and you waited for the guilt to kick in making you overthink all the important notes you could’ve taken, but as you sat with Jimin giggling at his cute jokes, and talking about anything but the course material you realised it had been worth it.

“So, we should probably start heading out,” you said looking at your watch which indicated that it was almost 3:15 and you both had 30 minutes to get to class.

“Yeah, we should. Let me pay first” he replied running to the counter where Jin still eyed the both of you with a glint in his eye.

Jimin paced fast back to start picking up his scattered notes when you noticed Jin looking quite annoyed behind him.

You were about to question if everything was all right, but he beat you to the punch.

“Okay now, Adults you have been together for hours, and I have been patiently waiting for a phone number exchange if anything. So far all I have seen are awkward blushes, and lame flirty jokes, so can you all just you know write each other's number down so I can have peace.

Jimin’s face paled at the forwardness of his friend, you, on the contrary, felt quite bad for the position the boy had been put in.

“Just to let you know, we were about to leave together for class, and then I was going to ask him if he wanted to have dinner with me, thank you very much. I do not need a relationship guru for your information” you said sounding more confident than you were.

“Woah Jimin, this girl has balls and bites. I like her….Keep her” Jin said walking away leaving the both of you dumbfounded.

Jimin reacted quicker than you this time to put all the stuff inside his bag. You both walked quietly out of the cafe, but as soon as the door closed Jimin’s cheeky smile bloomed in your direction, “So, Dinner??”

To say you overslept would be an understatement. The swelling along with the comforter’s red marks across your face was a clear giveaway.

You had tossed and turned for 30 minutes after Jin left, but dreamland was no longer accepting your admission.You rubbed your eyes roughly trying to ease the frustration of having to face the day with the constant thoughts in your brain running at about a thousand miles per hour. Why were you never good enough??

The reflection in the mirror had never been your best friend, you can’t count the hours you had spent from a very young age picking out flaws and finding a way to camouflage them. Most of the time your laziness won over your vanity, and that was one thing Jimin said he loved about you.

At closer inspection, you noted how much thinner your cheeks looked from a while back, along with the dark circles that framed your eyes, that despite your endless amount of sleep were more prominent than ever.

The hair that fell down in an unarranged manner from your head in a less than perfect way had always been your early morning biggest fight. Threading your fingers along the chaos to at least make yourself look more decent had proven to be a complete failure. Maybe, if your hair magically fell upon your shoulders like a yellow waterfall like Stephany things would have been different. Your self-image was poor, and you had never been one to accept a compliment gracefully from Jimin. Your put downs had become a self-defense mechanism, something Jimin always frowned upon, always answering back with a compliment that would blow you to the moon.

Attention seeker, that is what Jin had addressed your condition, but Jimin always knew better. He had seen you at your lowest when the tears fell down your face with frustration when your pants wouldn’t close and you had spent 4 hours non stop at the gym. Jimin had accepted you, and tried holding your hand through every episode of your lack of confidence.

Jimin had made you feel loved and cared for, but you had become selfish. The praise words that he whispered in your ears through the night as you both made love were screamed out loud for the world to hear about Stephany. He was not shy about the admiration for her, whereas with you he was more reserved. She was a goddess in his eyes. You could see it every time she talked and his tunnel vision focused on only her. Everything she did was compared to whatever lame attempt you could. One-upping her was out of the question for at the very moment your eyes landed on her you knew there was no competition. She had won a long time ago hands down.

What hurt the most was the fact that you didn’t have the courage to put up a  fight. Just like with everything else about JImin you had accepted her with arms wide open. She was a part of him whether you liked it or not.

Your hand traveled along your body to your bloated stomach. You had noticed a bit of cramping, but you never really paid much attention to it. You had been only craving crispy tacos with extra cheese this past week and had relentlessly blamed your fat for the now protruding muffin top. You caressed the top of it softly wondering if there was a little bean there like Jin had suggested. Just thinking of a mini Jimin running around calling you mom brought a smile to your face. Then reality hits and you are left feeling more alone than ever. Jimin and you were no longer. You had walked away. Had that been the right thing to do?? Yes. It had been. Even if it was the most painful thing you have had to endure in life you knew that you did not deserve being runner-up, you wanted to be someone’s one and only.

A knock on the door snapped you back to the present.

“(Y/N), I brought you something….. Are you okay in there??” Jin said from behind the door sounding concerned.

“I am all right, just give me a sec,” you said pulling down the shirt that had ridden up with the Buddha rubbing you had been doing previously.

You cracked the door open for Jin to walk in.

“Did you vomit again??” he asked as he inspected his surroundings.

“Nope, just slight tummy discomfort, but so far the soup has been staying down” you replied as you gave him a thankful smile.

You had not paid close attention when he had come into the restroom, but now the plastic bag in his hand had been put up in the counter along with a jug of orange juice.

Jin’s face had turned crimson as you could see his eyes traveling from the objects to you looking a bit troubled.

“Spit it out Jinjin” you said eyeing his unusual flustered self.

“I saw this in that Juno Movie, and well...yeah,” he said as he started backing away out the door leaving you alone with the unknown items. With peaked interest, you looked inside the bag finding over 12 pregnancy tests from various brands.

“Wonderful” you whispered to yourself, “it isn't going to kill me to at least take one to have a peace of mind”

You chugged half a gallon of orange juice before your bladder had decided to cooperate with the task at hand. You pulled down your pants quickly, the sudden urge to pee becoming overwhelming. You quickly grabbed the two prepped sticks and peed on one and then quickly grabbed the other, and much to your surprise you were able to get both without getting any urine on your hand.

“Score!” You scram a bit louder than anticipated as you placed both sticks on the countertop.

Before you knew it, Jin’s head was popping in through the door looking quite panicked.

“What happened?!!” He said not really grasping the concept of privacy in the bathroom.

“Seokjin OUT!!” you scram causing him to realize his mistake.

He hurriedly closed the door as he repeatedly said “sorry” from the other side.

You giggled at his goofiness and once you were wiped clean and with your pants up, you let him in.

He paced in circles while you sat on the toilet seat tapping your foot anxiously as the minutes ticked by. For once in your two-year long friendship, you were both quiet. The phone timer beeped letting you know it was time. Jin held your hand as support as you nervously picked up one of the tests.

Jin’s arms were around you instantly “You are strong, independent, and full of life. Whether he saw it or not is not what matters, what truly matters is if you can see it. I will be there for you no matter what you choose. He is my best friend, but I know what an idiot he can be.” Tears fell from your eyes and Jin was quick to wipe them away, “It is a blessing and a curse to feel stuff so deeply. Chin up Girl, I got your back.”

The clinic was way too cold for the short thin robe they had given you. The smell of disinfectant burned your nostrils, making the place feel even more intimidating. Other than the white monotonous walls, there were images plastered all over the walls showing the female reproductive system in different angles making you sick to your stomach. A diagram showing the various stages of birthing in a 3d model making you tremble with utter fear from the upcoming physical pain and changes your body would have to endure, and sadly you would have to go through it all on your own.

The door opened and a tall tan man came in looking quite handsome making you quickly scramble up from the previous open legged position the doctor’s assistant had placed you in. Your face quickly turning a dark shade of red.

The doctor smiled trying to make you feel a bit more comfortable with the current situation, but his rectangular grin only making you more self-aware about the exams that were to come.

“Hello Ms. Y/N, we need to run a few tests this evening to make sure everything is going well. My name is Dr. Kim. Can you please lay down for me and make yourself comfortable, we will be doing a sonogram to figure out how far along you are today”

You only nodded, not really sure how to respond with words.

“Would you like for me to call your partner in for the sono??” he asked innocently. You assumed the nurse had told him you had been accompanied by a man.

“No, it’s okay that’s my friend Jin, the father is not…..in the picture,” you said trying to sound unaffected yet you could still hear the sorrow in your voice as you said those words.

Dr.Kim looked apologetic, “I am sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Don’t worry about it, There was no way you could’ve known. I mean I didn’t see it coming and I was with the guy for two years” you said catching the doctor a bit off guard, “Sorry sorry, too much info”

Dr.Kim just threw another of his rectangular smiles your way, “ My turn to say Don’t worry about it, or him from what I have concluded in that one sentence. How about we get on with it. This gel might be a little cold ok?”

Flashback

You had been in a few dates with Jimin, and to be quite honest you had not expected yourself to be so drawn to such a character. He was clumsy, a bit disorganized, and he liked to be in control of the situations around him. He swept you off your feet so easily that once you had let him into your world he had conquered every corner with his eyesmile.

“So tell me again, what was your legit very first relationship?? You have this whole player vibe going on” you said drawing your words a little as the consumed wine started overpowering the blood in your veins, making the world around you a bit hazy.

“Me player?? Are you sure you are not talking about Jin?? To be quite honest, the only serious relationship I have had is when I dated my best childhood friend back in high school for like what seemed like forever...we keep in touch and stuff but she has her own family now” he said with eyes half-lidded obviously already affected from the alcohol as well “Her husband can be quite an at times, but I can tell he loves her….I mean who wouldn’t love her”

“Sounds like you might still be whipped,” you said as you pretended to have a whip in your hand.

“Nahh not whipped, but she still gets to me at times you know…..” he said taking a large gulp of his wine glass leaving it empty.

He picked up the almost empty bottle and refilled his glass along with yours.

You stayed quiet inspecting his facial features. Jimin was very handsome with very pronounced cheekbones and chocolate eyes you could melt right into.You wanted to bite his neck and mark him as yours, but the fear of moving too fast and scaring him away kept you at bay.

The bluntness from the liquid courage you had allowed yourself to drown in kept making words spill out of your mouth like projectile vomiting, “Well, how many times have you had the privilege of falling in love??”

Jimin gave you a knowing side smirk. He knew you wanted him whether you were intoxicated or not. Drunk Jimin was a lot more carefree, you could tell just by the way he sat down with his legs wide open while his arm casually folded behind his head emphasizing his muscular arms. He raised a teasing eyebrow, “The smart question to ask would be, have you ever fallen out of love?? Falling out of love is harder than falling in love”

You took a sip of the remaining wine in your glass as you attempted to smirk back, “Ok then, Have you ever fallen out of love??”

He shook his head, “Nope” he said over popping his p.

“A smart girl would take that as a warning and back off immediately,” you said as you stood up slowly, His eyes traveled along with your figure as you made your way towards him. His figure looked relax against your black leather couch, and the temptation that had been building up along with your drunk promiscuity giving you the extra push of bravery to sit upon his well-defined thigh. You saw his eyes widen with surprise as you leaned even more forward pressing your directly upon his hardening bulge causing a smile of confidence to erupt on your face. You leaned in slowly toward his ear, close enough to surely graze it with every word that came out of your mouth, your hot breath tickling his skin causing goosebumps to arise, “Much to your luck, I am one of