Sandara was forcing herself to move. Every step felt heavier than the last.

She’s back in the YG building and she’s dreading it. She’s still not sure what she’s going to say to Bom and the girls, because she’s sure Bom has shared her suspicions to them, very loudly.

She actually wouldn’t be surprised if Park Bom went on a rampage and complained about it to the whole YG Family. Except YG himself and Big Bang, of course. No matter how angry, her Park sister wouldn’t feed her to the wolves like that.

From the hallway, she couldn’t really hear anything since the the practice rooms in this area are soundproofed.

Gingerly, she opened the door and took a peek. She could see Bom working with Minji and their choreographer. She couldn’t see their leader though.

She wonders how hard she has to beg for forgiveness and if they’ll consider the newly improved Sandara Park enough of a payment. Of course, the newly improved Sandara Park isn’t completely improved yet. She’s still in the trying to improve stage. But hey, baby steps, right?

You can do this, Dara! She cheered herself on.

She opened the door slowly and walked inside. It was Youngdeuk who notice her first. “Noona!”

For a second it seemed like time stopped as everyone stared at her. Until Park Bom intervened, “Sandara Park!!” Bom launched herself at Dara, hugging her. “Where have you been, you sneaky rabbit?!”

“Bom. Air. Need to breathe.” She gasped out as Bom enveloped her in one of her power hugs. Bom reluctantly let her go in order to allow CL, Minzy and the other dancers to hug her.

Once free of the hugging arms, she bowed low to everyone. “I’m so sorry if I worried you guys. When sajangnim gave me the days off, I just jumped at the chance and neglected to let you know. I’m sorry.”

“Unnie, we understand.” Chaerin started. “I just wished you let us know. We were worried because you just went for a meeting with sajangnim and then suddenly no one can reach you. We have to find out about your location on twitter.”

“I’m really sorry.” Sandara bit her lip in remorse. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“We would have understood if you wanted to lay low for a while..” Leader CL started, then she looked away and her cute junior Chaerin appeared. “We were really worried, you know. We had no idea what the meeting was about. We wondered if everything was okay. We thought you just needed time to process but then, it was evening and we still haven’t heard from you. We didn’t know what happened. Before, we’d ask Ji -.. Before, we would know who to ask to confirm you’re safe but..” Her voice softened. “We can’t do that now.. We.. we were just really scared that something bad happened to you and we felt so powerless.. We can’t report you missing to sajangnim or the managers because you might get in trouble, same with the police.. We didn’t want to ask your mom because for sure she would worry.. We tried to ask Sanghyun but his manager said he was busy filming, so he obviously wasn’t with you.. But we can’t just do nothing..”

Sandara’s lip quivered. Bom looked away and fanned her face. Minzy was watching everything with wide eyes. Somewhere in the room, one of the dancers sniffled.

That did it. Sandara started crying. “I’m so sorry! It was my fault! I was so thoughtless and selfish and thinking only of myself!”

“Yes! Yes, you were! You bad girl!” Bom, who was also crying, pulled her into a hug again. “But we understand. We love you..”

“Unnie..” A crying Minji just approached them and joined the hug.

“I hate you for making us worry.” CL declared, which brought another round of sobs from Sandara. “But Bom unnie assured us you were fine and that you needed the time away. We forgive you this time, but you can’t do it again, okay?”

“I promise. I’m so sorry.” Sandara nodded as best as she could with so many arms around her, CL now included.

The crying jag lasted for a few more seconds. Sandara finally broke free and said, “I brought presents.”

Bom giggled. “Bribes you mean.”

“Yeah.” She admitted then pointed to the paper bags that she dropped by the door when Bom came at her. “Snacks mostly.”

Minji happily opened the bags and exclaimed over the contents. She went to where the dancers were trying to unobtrusively watch everything and started pulling out the snacks for everyone to share.

As Bom joined them, Dara turned to CL and apologized one more time, “I’m really sorry, hubby.”

“It’s fine.” CL shrugged. “We get that we all need space sometimes. It’s just.. It’s the first time you did something like that and we panicked. It’s really fine, unnie. I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Dara gave her another hug, trying to express everything she was feeling: remorse, gratefulness and so much love.

They made their way to where everyone was happily eating snacks. “So tell us about your trip, did you have fun?” CL asked, her arm still around Dara.

“Oh!” Bom exclaimed. “You were with a boy! Who is it?! Tell us!”

“I wasn’t!” Dara laughed, shaking her hand to emphasize her denial.

“You were!” Bom insisted. “I know you and your ninja moves when you’re trying to hide something from me. So, who’s the guy? How long have you been dating? Is he totally hot?”

“You’re dating again already, noona?”

Dara turned her head towards the direction of the voice and saw her baby panda. She was happy to see Seungri again but her gaze was caught by the person behind him.

Kwon Jiyong.

He stared at her, as if unable to believe she was there; unable to believe what he heard. His eyes held questions. Questions he no longer has the right to ask.

“Yah!” Bom exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips. “What do you mean dating again already, huh? She’s single, you punk! She can do whatever she wants.”

The barb didn’t miss its intended target as everyone saw Jiyong flinch at her words. But Bom wasn’t done.

“She’s a gorgeous girl who deserves to be loved by an awesome guy -”

“Bom..” Sandara cautioned her friend. She knows Bom is on mama bear mode right now but she really would rather that they talk about anything else other than her failed relationship right now.

“I’m just saying.” Bom added. “If you want to go to Japan and date away from prying eyes because you aren’t an insensitve manwhore who has no shame and consideration for the people around you, flaunting your latest one-night stands -”

“Unnie!” CL gasped. Her loyalty to both Jiyong and Sandara pulling her in two different directions. She knows that both of them are hurting and that they are handling their break-up in two very different ways. Sandara became more introspective, and kept pretending that she was okay and that she wasn’t affected; that was why they were all so worried when she went MIA. They worried that she must have reached her breaking point and they didn’t know what would happen to her and how she would handle it alone. Jiyong on the other hand, is lashing out. As a reaction to what he feels is Sandara’s indifference, he’s buried himself in his work, in parties and in girls trying to prove that he isn’t affected by the break up. She hates how both of them are hurting each other more every day with their actions. If only Jiyong would stop actively trying to be hurtful and if only Sandara would actually tell him to stop. She knows he would listen. He always listens to Sandara. But this Jiyong, this Jiyong feels that Sandara doesn’t care that they’re over. That she’s just moving on with her life and that she never cared. He’s so blinded by pain that he won’t believe it when people tell him that’s not the case. So he retaliates. Which makes Sandara hide into herself further.

“What? I was just speaking generally, you know.” Bom shrugged and turned her back away from the Seungri and Jiyong who were still standing by the door.

“Noona, you went to Japan?” Seungri asked trying to change the subject and cautiously approaching Sandara. Maybe his cuteness can alleviate the tension. “Without me?”

“Of course without you, you rat. Why would she want a third wheel?” Bom asked nonchalantly as she opened a snack.

All this time, Sandara’s eyes never left Jiyong’s. She can’t deny the flash of triumph when he flinched at the mention of her dating. There’s a small part of her that wants to feed into that hurt and make him feels how she feels; even for just a fraction of a second. She wants to hurt him.