Dinner with Seungri turned out to be exactly what she needed after enduring Park Bom’s interrogation.

“So? Spill!” Bom demanded as soon as the girls entered their dorm. Chaerin and Minzy hearing Bom’s demand quickly put down their stuff and sat down on the floor in front of the couch where Bom dragged Dara to.

Dara sighed, knowing that there was no escape now. She needs to give her members something but she doesn’t want to lie to them. And yet, she also doesn’t want to tell them about Jaejoong.

She and Jaejoong have never discussed it but there was like an unspoken agreement that they keep their friendship on the downlow. They knew people would speculate and assume the worst.

So she told them about her meeting with YG and his comments about her career. They all sympathized with her. While Sajangnim has been supportive of them and their careers, they all knew from experience that his words can be cruel. They don’t think he does it to hurt them on purpose; it’s just he thinks that his barbs are the best way for them to take in his criticisms. Their feelings are just collateral damage.

“After our meeting, I just went out and walked around..” Dara explained. “It hurt you know? Even if what he said was true, it doesn’t change the fact that hearing about my failures like that hurts.”

“Unnie..”

“No. No. I’m okay.” Dara assured their maknae. “I know I’m not as strong in dancing or singing as the three of you but I’ve working hard and..”

“We know.” Bom placed her hand on Dara’s arm. “And I’m right there with you dancing. You know that.”

“We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Minji and I can barely talk in front of people. You have that effortless charm that just captivates people. Plus, you’re pretty much the visual of the group, y’know?” Dara snorted at CL’s words. “Unnie, that’s not a diss. Everyone knows that we’re not they typical girl group. We don’t have the same body types or even the same styles. What makes us unique is we all make up for each other’s weaknesses and we support each other no matter what. We know we’re not perfect and we accept it. We strive hard, all of us, to be better in our craft and that’s what’s important. Besides, perfect is boring.”

Dara smiled at the young girl who was given the responsibility for their group. She really is the right choice as their leader. She knows she’s not assertive enough, Bom isn’t organized enough since she’s more of the carefree type and honestly, Minji really is too young. “I know. I know that. I just needed a moment to myself to remember those things.”

“What happened next unnie?” Minji asked. “How did you decide to go to Japan?”

“Would you believe that I just decided to book a flight after spending some time crying?” She could see their looks of disbelief but she wanted to stick to the truth as much as possible. “It’s true. There I was crying and it was like someone whispered in my ear about ramen and sake and escape from Ji-” she cut herself off. “I mean, time away from everything. It seemed like a good idea at that time since who knows when I’ll actually get free time for myself. I was so focused on getting to Japan and booking flights and hotels and stuff that I forgot to let you guys know what I was about to do. I’m really sorry about that.”

“All is forgiven, unnie.” CL assured her.

“Sooooo..” Bom started and Dara knew the time has come. “Whose call were you waiting for when you answered my call?”

“Who said I was waiting for anyone?”

“You asked me if I was done!” Bom insisted. “That implies a pre-arranged conversation after whatever it is that the person whose call you were waiting for was finished.” She raised a finger to stop Dara from saying whatever excuse she was about to and continued. “Uh, uh. Please remember that I know you and I can smell lies.”

Dara rolled her eyes but sighed. “Fine. Yes. I was waiting for a call back.” She looked at the expectant faces of the girls around her and felt guilty at the.. Misdirection.. She was about to do. “You remember when I first came here and how I couldn’t stop crying because I missed my friends from the Philippines?”

“Yeah. You wouldn’t stop crying until you spoke to Joross and Melissa.. Oh..” Bom nodded and Dara tried to tamp down the guilt she was starting to feel. “Did talking to them help?”

“Well, I wasn’t able to talk to them that night because a certain Bominator kept bugging me.” She teased, a little happier that what she said wasn’t exactly a lie.

Thankfully, the girls’ interrogation didn’t last much longer since Seungri called to say that he was on his way to pick her up.

She knew Seungri was fishing for information but she also knew that he really missed her. They really are much closer than they appear to be. During their trainee days, with her missing her baby brother and Seungri being forced to be ‘responsible’ for probably the first time in his life and being the maknae, they naturally gravitated towards each other.

Surprisingly, Seungri didn’t pry. Much. He thought he was being sneaky with his questions and comments, but she could see right through him.

“Seungri-ya.. Would it be so bad if I really was with someone?” She asked him, clearly surprising him.

“So you really did meet someone, noona?”

“No. I didn’t meet someone in Japan.” Dara answered truthfully. Because I came with him to Japan. “But would it be so bad?” Seungri leaned back and Dara could see that he was taking her question seriously. “My whole life here in Korea has revolved around training and debuting; and other than my family, the only people I’m close to are those in YG..”

“That’s.. True..” Seungri trailed off.

“It’s not bad.” She continued. “But with the way things are right now..”

“Just because Jiyong hyung was there first or we knew him first doesn’t mean we’re not here for you.” Seungri insisted.

“I know that.” She smiled through the tears that wanted to be leak. “It’s just awkward. I don’t want to put people in the middle and I just.. One of the things I realized with everything that’s happened is how small my world is. Like I said, it’s not bad but.. I wonder if I’m limiting myself because it’s what I’m used to.. What I’m comfortable with..”

Seungri remained silent and Dara decided to let him process. Finally, he sighed. “Making new friends isn’t bad, noona. I just worry about you. We worry about you. I’m sorry if you feel that-” Dara interrupted him to protest that it wasn’t really anyone’s fault. “I just want you to be careful. Not everyone has good intentions but not everyone has bad ones either.”

Then he asked her what she did in Japan and started recommending places she could visit the next time she goes there.

By the time he dropped her off at the dorm, they’ve spent a very pleasant evening catching up. Just before she got out of his car, he told her, “Noona, I will always be here to support you. Please don’t forget that as you meet new people and have new experiences.”

“Silly panda.” She smiled. “That’s something I’ll never ever forget. Good night, Seungri.”

_______________________________________

Days passed and Jaejoong told her that he and s extended their stay in Japan since they booked a couple of variety show guestings. She congratulated him happily and told him that because of that he was buying the alcohol the next time they met up.

“Don’t I always?”

She laughed a little at his text message, because it was true. He has always paid for their alcohol. It started because in the beginning even though she has debuted she didn’t really have ready cash always available. It’s not like the money starts rolling in immediately after debut. Then it became a habit. He said it doesn’t feel right having her buy him alcohol.

“I pay for the food, though.” she shot back.

“Not always.”

“Often enough and you eat A LOT!!!”

“Are you calling me fat, Sandara? I’m offended.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I said.” She rolled her eyes at her phone, as if he could see her right now. She sent another message, “I’m just saying you eat a lot. Like enough for two grown men.”

“And you don’t? You’re worse than me.”

“I am a lady. The perfect