Dara stifled a giggle as she read Jaejoong’s messages. She wished him luck when he told her about leaving for his meeting. She really does though. She hopes everything goes well for them. They’re extremely talented boys and they deserve the world.

She tried to decide if she wanted to go get her matcha ice cream or just laze around in her hotel. Her inner debate was interrupted by a text message from Jaejoong, Go get your matcha. You know you want to.

She did. She really wanted to. She’s hesitating because it’s been a while since she’s been anywhere completely alone. No managers, no members, no siblings, no friends, no pseudo boyfriend.

It’s a little scary.

And more than a little thrilling.

Taking hold of that feeling, she took a step forward. And then another. And another.

She smiled at the feeling of lightness that came over her. Right now, she’s doing something just for herself. Just because she wants it.

Huh. I guess this is how independence feels. She mused wryly.

It might seem silly, but for her it represents something bigger. For most of her life, she’s got people telling her what to do. And for almost all of it, she just followed along. It was a combination of her innate shyness, lack of knowledge, and her aversion to confrontations.

When they first moved to the Philippines, being unable to speak the language made her fold into herself further. She didn’t know how to speak the language, so she just didn’t speak. When she became famous after joining the reality talent search, she didn’t know much about the business and the culture was a bit of a shock to her, so she listened to what the people around her had to say.

Sure, she’s been living there for so long but she was raised with Korean values. A lot of the values are the same, and yet some are different. Before she was famous, she was just labeled weird or different or a foreigner. When she got famous, they called her crazy. Not in the bad way or mean way but in an affectionate way. Suddenly, people found her ‘weirdness’ cute. They loved her for it. It was what set her apart from hundreds of other aspiring celebrities. But still, there were lines she can’t cross and she had to depend on her management and handlers to tell her. Tell her they did. What she can do, what she can say, who she should say she was close to.

If she thought that was restrictive, it was nothing compared to what happened when she came to South Korea and joined YG Entertainment.

Starting over was daunting. Starting over in an industry that was so competitive and critical was brutal. To her body. To her ego. Rules and schedules and evaluations ran her life.

But it was all worth it.

It brought her the chance to live her dream, security for her family, friends she knows are for life and it brought her a love so amazing, she couldn’t believe it.

But it’s also not just sunshine and roses. There are haters, more rules, more rigid schedules where practically every minute of her day needed to be accounted for.

They mean well. They all do. Even Jiyong with all his desire to protect her from everything. Their friends, who take their cues from G-Dragon and treat her as if she is fragile.

Maybe she is.

She’s still trying to find her way in this new path she’s embarked on and already she’s daunted by the obstacles in her way.

Maybe she’s not.

She knows she’s stronger than they think she is. She packed up her and her family’s lives after her father left them, taking her hard earned money and leaving her with his debts. She survived that and she helped her family survive that. Now, finally, they’re done surviving and back to living again. She can finally see the spark back in her mom’s eyes, the zest for life in her siblings’.

Maybe it’s time to remind her YG Family that she’s strong. She does make the impossible possible, doesn’t she?

_______________________________________

“Who knew deciding whether or not to get matcha could bring about an epiphany? Hope your meeting is going well. I’ll see you later.”

Kim Jaejoong smiled in spite of everything at Sandara’s message. He wonders what epiphany her matcha brought her. Maybe he should get one himself.

“Meeting was alright. Matcha that good huh? Maybe I should get some.”

Their meeting with Avex went okay. Not as bad as they feared but not as good as they hoped. Avex was still definitely interested in them but they weren’t willing to tie themselves for a number of years to a group that might or might not be tied to a lawsuit and unable to promote.

For now, it’s a wait and see.

At least they’re not cutting off all ties. That’s what he keeps telling Yoochun and Junsu. At least, they’re giving us a chance.

“You should. There were realizations had and resolutions made. When you see me later, I’ll be the newly improved Sandara Park.”

“Or at least, I’ll be trying to be.”

“Baby steps, right?”

He smiled at her messages which came one after the other. They were once again in their car. They have a couple of hours to kill before their photoshoot and he could hear s and manager discussing how they should spend it.

“Want to get some matcha ice cream?” He asked, interrupting their discussion.

“Sounds good.” Yoochun agreed. “Any idea where?”

“Yeah. I saw this place near our hotel when I went to get ramen last night.” He then proceeded to give the directions to their manager. Only to recall that Sandara told him she’d be there. He wondered if she was still there.

“Getting matcha with Y and J. You still there?”

His heart was pounding as he waited for her response. He can’t believe he could forget that they were trying not to get caught. He really hopes he doesn’t give away their secret. Who knows how their friendship would change once other people find out. Outside influences always affect things.

“No. Had to head back to the hotel.”

“Problems?”

“Nah. Just had one too many fan encounters in the area. Better safe than sorry.”

“Scared YG will track you down and haul your back to SoKor?”

“Yes. Exactly. That will definitely happen.”

“Sarcasm?”

“It’s not as effective if I have to explain it, Jaejoong.”

“It’s not as effective if it’s on text, Sandara”

“Just admit that you want to hear my voice.”

“Exactly. That was sarcasm by the way.”

He shook his head at their exchange, not noticing that Yoochun and Junsu were trying to talk about him behind his back non-verbally.

“Ah, hyung..” Junsu started. “So tell us about this place.. Any reason why you wanted to go there?”

“Just craving for some matcha ice cream.” Jaejoong shrugged.

“Yes. But why now? Why there?” Yoochun pressed, scooting forward as much as his seat belt allowed.

“Dunno.” Jaejoong shrugged again, turning his head he asked, “Do you not want some matcha? You don’t have to come with me. We can all head to the hotel and I’ll just walk to the shop. It’s nearby.”

“No! Matcha ice cream sounds so good right now.” Junsu assured.

_______________________________________

Sandara was lying on her bed inside her hotel room while flipping through the TV channels when her phone rang. She’s trying to look for a Japanese variety show to watch. She’s been learning Japanese and wanted to see how well she could follow casual conversations used in the shows.

Thinking it was Jaejoong calling to tell her when they’ll meet up, she absentmindedly answered the call while still focused on the T