Afeared

Reticence (Silence)
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Kyungsoo woke up a bit later than usual the next morning and he was sure that was the case because the time on his phone on the nightstand beside the four-poster bed he slept on, read at almost ten in the morning.

Even if Kyungsoo had an afternoon shift or if it was his day off, he would still be waking up earlier than that. Kyungsoo was just used to early mornings and long nights as a dare he might say,  probably an overworked resident doctor.

Being a junior doctor and overworking seemed to go hand in hand in such a culture, even though Kyungsoo never complained and only recently realized how badly it impacted his non-existent social life.

If it weren’t for Chanyeol, Kyungsoo would never even dream of taking days off from work, least to say an entire month-long trip overseas in another country.

                               

But Kyungsoo was on vacation now and he gave himself a bit of leeway at waking up at any hour he chose to, wanting to be lazy for a bit since he never was anyway.

It wasn’t every day that he got to be on vacation, after all.

Kyungsoo had spent almost the entire of yesterday traveling and getting familiarized with a new place, which tired him out since it was something he was not used to yet; so he chose to lie back down on the bed and stare through the posters of his bed at the off-white plaster ceiling above him.

 

 

From the lying position on the bed, Kyungsoo could see rays of sunlight peeking in from the fabric of the curtains above the bed. Kyungsoo had drawn the curtains shut right before going to bed but there was sunlight streaming in through a small slit between the partitions.

Kyungsoo slept with the air-conditioning on so it was still cool in the room, although Kyungsoo could guess that it was already hot and humid outside especially with it being in the middle of August.

Kyungsoo could hear birds chirping outside his window, presumably from the birds perched on the tree just outside the window that overlooked the garden and front yard outside.

 

Kyungsoo wasn’t tired anymore and he couldn’t go back to sleep even if he tried; but he wanted to be lazy for a bit, so he continued lying on the bed with an arm draped over and covering his eyes.

Kyungsoo was brought back to the memory of yesterday evening where he found himself and Chanyeol in a tight embrace with the pounding rain outside.

Kyungsoo hadn’t actually been touched or held in a friendly and welcoming gesture in a long time. Sure, there were obligatory handshakes and occasionally brushing or touching a co-worker’s hand while in the line of duty but that was it.

But those instances were never anything personal and they never felt so comforting unlike being in Chanyeol’s touch and having Chanyeol in his own touch.

Even in a different country where he didn’t speak the language or know much of and had just arrived in hours prior, Kyungsoo felt so welcomed and so at home already in Chanyeol’s arms. It felt like Kyungsoo had been here all along and that he and Chanyeol never separated.

Kyungsoo wouldn’t be lying if he said that he wished they could just stay like that forever, burying his face in Chanyeol’s shoulder and holding each other as they faced against the world together.

Kyungsoo couldn’t exactly put a name to his feelings towards Chanyeol yet but it felt warm, fond and gentle.

It was like warm sun on one’s skin for the first time after a cold season, Kyungsoo akin it to.

Kyungsoo hoped that by the end of his trip and before he left again, he would be able to discover and explore his feelings more and in-depth; hoping he had an answer and a decision to make for it.

 

 

Once Kyungsoo thought that he was done procrastinating by lazing around in bed doing nothing but thinking of his feelings and of what had happened in the short span of his trip so far, Kyungsoo got up from bed and padded across the room on the furry-textured carpeted floor where he reached for the door and pushed the handle down to exit into the hallway.

Kyungsoo walked pass by Chanyeol’s room, where he found the door ajar and half open but with no Chanyeol in sight.

Kyungsoo then walked down the wooden stairs, down to the first floor of the house which looked older and more traditional than the second floor where the rooms were at.

 

 

Upon arriving on the first floor, Kyungsoo found that the sliding glass doors on one wall had been slide open, revealing the garden outside whereby Kyungsoo could just step out to but decided against because he was bare feet and still wearing his pajamas.

Kyungsoo was right about it being warm and humid already outside. He could feel it just by standing near the glass doors that had been slid open, even if he hadn’t technically stepped outside of the house.

From where he stood; Kyungsoo could see the lush greenery of plants and trees outside in the garden and he could also hear the sounds of the water pump in the koi pond trickling and running, creating a calming and cooling atmosphere to the already tranquil feeling that Kyungsoo already felt from just being there.

There was also a nice breeze that blew from outside and circulating cooler air around inside the house where Kyungsoo still stood at.

 

The breeze continued blowing and Kyungsoo closed his eyes, believing that it would enable him to feel the air better on his face.

The breeze rustled around Kyungsoo’s hair and the t-shirt he was wearing. It was nice and cool; an interesting contrast to the warm weather outside.

Kyungsoo stretched an arm up to brush away his bangs from his forehead that had noticeably grown longer than he noticed and had been slightly messed up by the blowing breeze. Maybe, Kyungsoo considered getting a haircut when he was back home in a month’s time.

The ruffled bangs were also long enough to brush and prickle against the eyelids, so before Kyungsoo could reach a hand to push his bangs aside and open his eyes, he felt another larger and warm hand gently caressing his forehead to push the hair out of the way.

 

 

“There, I got it for you,” Chanyeol gleefully announced, retracting back his arm while standing in front of Kyungsoo near the doors that led out to the garden; the view of the garden outside in full view from where they were stood at.

“Thank you, I didn’t see you coming,” Kyungsoo returned, feeling quite embarrassed and hoping he wasn’t flushing too obviously. Kyungsoo wondered why he was even feeling that way to someone he had known for so many years.

 

Chanyeol was an old friend but all these feelings and emotions he felt were certainly new and Kyungsoo had yet to explore the real meaning behind what he was feeling for Chanyeol now.

Chanyeol was there standing in front of him, eyes creased as he smiled wide while the breeze continued blowing and messed up both their hairs.

“Well, there goes all my hard work,” Chanyeol joked, laughing, looking genuinely happy for the first time in a while.

 

Kyungsoo’s heart almost skipped a beat and he could say he was awe-stricken when Chanyeol looked at him the way he did that day.

Chanyeol wasn’t like this to everyone and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel somewhat exclusive at getting to witness such an amazing sight that moved him so much.

Again, Kyungsoo felt like the old Chanyeol was there in front of him again even if it was a small glimpse at what could have and should be.

 

 

“Good morning,” Chanyeol greeted, “Are you hungry? There are some food and coffee in the kitchen. You can make yourself something if you’re hungry because I already ate.”

“Not really,” Kyungsoo answered, placing a hand behind his neck and lightly chuckling, “I was sleeping in so it’s my fault for missing breakfast anyway.”

“That’s totally fine. You’re on vacation and you’re free to do whatever you want. My home is yours too now,” Chanyeol was pleased to say as he pulled on the front of the brown t-shirt he was wearing.

“So, what’s up today?” Kyungsoo asked, folding his arms across his chest. Although he genuinely wanted to know what was up with Chanyeol, he did also want to change the topic a bit to be less about him because of how shy he was feeling around someone so familiar to him.

“I have to go to association’s headquarters this afternoon so in about less than two hours from now. My match is tomorrow but I have a meeting and discussion session with the association members today. It won’t take long though. I’ll be there for a few hours only and then when I come back, I’ll bring you out to eat and we’ll walk down the river,” Chanyeol happily mentioned, eagerly and looking excited as he felt it inside.

“That sounds great,” Kyungsoo responded, and he could already imagine in his head how much fun it would be and how he anticipated spending time with Chanyeol to be the thing he looked forward to the most.

“So, do you want to eat anything before I go? I can make something for you,” Chanyeol offered, walking across the room from where they stood and sliding open more doors inside the house to reveal another traditional looking room with a low coffee table on the tatami mat floor.

“I think I’m good. I’ll make something later on but I’m not hungry now,” Kyungsoo responded, tapping his stomach.

“Sure, let me know if you change your mind. I’m going to practice a bit of Go now if you don’t mind,” Chanyeol bowed his head slightly, moving into the next room which was opened from behind the sliding doors.

“Of course. Go ahead,” Kyungsoo encouraged.

 

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes and head followed as Chanyeol moved into the next room and left the door open; where he sat down cross-legged on the mat on a pillow and played a match against himself on the Go board, perched on top of the low coffee table.

Besides the Go board on the table was a book that Kyungsoo presumed to be that of Go strategies because of the Go board illustration on the cover.

Chanyeol opened the book and occasionally referred to the book and then the go board in front of him, as he skillfully moved pieces in and out from the board.

 

Only the sounds of the pages turning and of the leaves on the trees rustling in the wind were heard in such a large house.

Chanyeol was even quieter by nature and Kyungsoo too fell into the surrounding silence as he observed his best friend from outside the room.

 

 

It was a windy day and the breeze continued blowing in from outside, through the yard and garden into the house where it sometimes blew the pages from where Chanyeol was reading at on the book.

Every time the pages were blown away from where Chanyeol was reading, he would turn the pages and return it back to where he last stopped at; doing it repeatedly without getting frustrated or even visibly irritated at having to do over again even for so many times.

Chanyeol had visibly so much patience and perseverance. He didn’t even seem to be bothered or lost his concentration the least bit from the minor nuisance by the breeze blowing from outside. His expression remained placid and neutral the entire time.

Not even once did Chanyeol lift his eyes from the Go board or the book, darting back and forth between the two.

 

Kyungsoo felt a bit intrusive and like he could potentially be a distraction, and he would hate to break Chanyeol’s focus and determination especially when Chanyeol was practicing for such an important match.

Until then, Kyungsoo decided to return to his room upstairs and maybe spend some time on his phone to wait until Chanyeol was less occupied by Go.

Kyungsoo took one step forward to leave but unknowingly stepped onto a floorboard that creaked quite loudly under some weight.

The house was old and it was quite explainable when that happened but Kyungsoo had only arrived here the other day and he surely hadn’t gotten to know which floorboard made the most noise and whatnot.

 

Kyungsoo cringed and silently hoped that Chanyeol was not distracted by that sound,

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Comments

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Djatasma
#1
Chapter 19: This was wonderful
alanahanin #2
Chapter 19: This story is amazing! So touchful for me that i'm going to cry
Reem_mohamed
#3
Chapter 19: ???
ozomana
#4
Chapter 19: It is a beautiful story
Reem_mohamed
#5
Chapter 14: The journey of realizing a certain emotion is very stressful and can take a lifetime to understand
Reem_mohamed
#6
Chapter 2: Ahh ,again I didn't expect that kind of accident happened to chanyeol
Reem_mohamed
#7
Chapter 1: At the point where kyungsoo forgot about chanyeol ,my heart broke into pieces cause I didn't expect that
ASYSSJ
#8
Chapter 14: damn.... i keep rereading this story over and over again...
ASYSSJ
#9
Chapter 19: Ouhhhhh so sweet!!
thank you for the story i really love it:)))
XOXO<333
ASYSSJ
#10
Chapter 5: U... wa...ah...
DAMN IT!! WHO'S CUTTING THE ONION T^T