Once the reality had sunk in that Chanyeol and Takeda were indeed there, standing in front of his parent’s house under the snow, Kyungsoo quickly rushed the both of his guests into the house away from the cold outside.

It was almost too good to believe at first. Kyungsoo even thought that he might have eaten something funny and that he was hallucinating because Kyungsoo was pretty sure of waking up that morning and that all of this wasn’t a dream.

Chanyeol never said anything about coming back to South Korea or visiting. The end of the year was not a time for international title tournaments because all the individual organizations were busy with their own inter-matches so Chanyeol wouldn’t need to be traveling during that time either.

Chanyeol mentioned how he was going to probably spend the New Year’s practicing Go alone by himself and Kyungsoo believed that.

But yet, Chanyeol was here, smiling and still covered from head to snow in now melting snow.

Chanyeol and Takeda each brought a travel bag with them that looked too small and too empty, making it obvious that they wouldn’t be staying for long or that they didn’t have enough time to pack before boarding a plane to Seoul.

Kyungsoo hadn’t even gotten to ask why they were there and why was all of this unannounced or whether he just didn’t get the memo of them coming over when his mother came into the living room and almost shrieked to see another two men in her house.

Kyungsoo’s mother was initially surprised but she immediately recognized Chanyeol and she began to smile, saying that she was happy that Chanyeol was visiting them. Kyungsoo’s mother began to worry about how she was going to house so many people in her three-bedroom house now.

Takeda, on the other hand, introduced himself in his accented Korean as Chanyeol’s assistant and mentioned how they were there to visit and that they would be staying in a hotel so she didn’t need to worry.

As usual, Takeda did most if not all of the talking on behalf of Chanyeol. From Takeda’s conversation with Kyungsoo’s mother, Kyungsoo learned that the decision to travel to Seoul was a last minute decision that Chanyeol insisted on going for personal reasons.

Kyungsoo helped put away Takeda and Chanyeol’s bag aside while they got settled in the living room and Kyungsoo’s mother hurriedly rearranged the dishes and cups on the dinner table to fit another two more people.

“We haven’t told my father that you are here. He’d be happy to see you here too,” Kyungsoo announced, returning to the living room with a warm face towel each for Takeda and Chanyeol to wipe off the melting snow from their hair.

“Sorry about that, it was a rather last minute plan and I couldn’t just let Chanyeol go by himself. I’m sorry for intruding on your family occasion,” Takeda apologized, politely accepting the warm face towel from Kyungsoo with Chanyeol sitting beside him on the couch.

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about. My parents don’t mind either. They love guests,” Kyungsoo assured, handing over a warm face towel to Chanyeol too before sitting on the couch opposite from the two newcomers.

“I could have gone by myself,” Chanyeol mumbled under his breath, slowly.

“No you can’t,” Takeda insisted, “You only think you can but you’re going to get lost or freeze up at airport immigration for sure.”

Chanyeol huffed in defeat and ignored Takeda, continuing to wipe his neck with the face towel that was handed to him.

Kyungsoo chuckled at Takeda and Chanyeol’s antics as he looked towards the door every now and then in anticipation for his father, brother and uncle’s return from the trip to the store.

“So you’ve been cooking, huh?” Takeda asked Kyungsoo in an effort to make small talk, especially after dropping in unannounced.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo flustered, instantly removing the apron he had been wearing, not realizing that he had it on all this time, “-I was helping my mother with the New Year’s dinner. I hope you two can stay over for the dinner. My mom is laying out the dishes for you two too.”

“I’ll stay,” Chanyeol immediately piped up.

“Sure then,” Takeda agreed in unison, “-we might as well.”

“So, how are the year-end matches going on for you two?” Kyungsoo asked, continuing the conversation as he folded the apron in his hands.

“It’s good,” Takeda answered, “I might actually be promoted to professional 6-dan in the spring if I keep winning in the remaining matches. I don’t want to be stuck at 5-dan for the third year in a row now.”

“I see,” Kyungsoo nodded before remembering something else, “Oh, what about that professional tournament in September that the both of you were supposed to join in? I forgot about that and Chanyeol didn’t bring it up too over the phone. How did it go?”

In a split second after Kyungsoo finished asking his question, the living room that was filled by the sound of conversation fell silent. The silence was immediate and very much obvious especially when the sound of Kyungsoo’s mother clinking around pots and pans in the kitchen became the loudest sound there was.

“Uh...” Takeda gaped, balling up his fist with the towel in his grasp.

“We lost,” Chanyeol smiled, looking too happy about it. “I made it to the finals but I lost so I came in second place in the tournament. Takeda lost in the knockout rounds.”

Takeda looked like he had the life drained from himself, especially with his shoulders slouched as he muttered, “That was terrible, I made so many mistakes. Don’t remind me.”

Chanyeol added, “I was so confident in winning and I lost too. Coming in second place is a worse feeling, trust me.”

“That’s true,” Takeda recited, seemingly talking to himself, “It’s better to lose earlier on and that to know that you never had the chance, instead of thinking that you could have won it and going so far but to lose at the final.”

If Kyungsoo could curl up in a ball and hide or turn back time to take back what he said, he would surely do the above now. Kyungsoo didn’t know that they would react in that way by bringing up the tournament in September.

While Kyungsoo knew that Chanyeol didn’t exactly receive bad news too well, he wasn’t expecting Takeda to string along too. Kyungsoo was afraid that he had opened a can of worms and that the situation was now spiraling out of his control.

Kyungsoo felt rather remorseful, especially when he couldn’t fathom to understand how it felt to lose when your life depended on playing and winning a sport. Kyungsoo tried to be patient and accepting but he would never achieve that level of understanding to know how they really felt.

The world Chanyeol lived in was a completely different one than the one Kyungsoo lived in. And just maybe, Kyungsoo was beginning to feel like he was inadequate for Chanyeol.

“-but that’s alright,” Chanyeol faced Kyungsoo and kept smiling, looking very warm and welcoming despite how cold it was outside. As if Chanyeol could read Kyungsoo’s mind, he continued, “Don’t worry about me. Everything is fine. I was even able to laugh about losing that tournament. In fact, we even went out for a drink with the other guys too.”

A smile came to Kyungsoo’s face naturally, “I am glad to hear that. I believe in you.”

“Thank you for believing in me,” Chanyeol expressed, continuing to smile, “I’ll try to do better next time.”

While Chanyeol was genuinely smiling, he couldn’t help but begin to feel that maybe he was just a disappointment and a letdown to the others around him, especially to the one he loved the most, Kyungsoo.

Everyone cheered him on and supported him unconditionally, and Chanyeol knew that all he could do in return to prove to them was by winning and by being a better person than he was previously. But despite the number of trophies that lined the cabinets with his name on the plaque, Chanyeol felt like he wasn’t doing enough yet.

The trio consisting of Kyungsoo’s father, brother, and uncle returned shortly later. They were too happy to see Chanyeol there and pleased to be introduced to Takeda.

Kyungsoo’s brother and uncle who had not seen Chanyeol last summer when the latter was there to visit, still remembered him as “Kyungsoo’s friend that plays Go well”.

There was a lot of talking over dinner and Chanyeol was good at avoiding the conversations while everyone else didn’t seem to notice, a skill he had learned over the past few years.

Later in the night when the drinking and loud singing along to the year-end music festival shows on TV began, Kyungsoo retired to his room in his parent’s house.

Kyungsoo refused to drink because he had to go to work the first thing next morning. It would be considered a breach of procedures for the medical resident to be treating patients while hungover or even worse- still drunk from last night.

Kyungsoo’s mother had gone out to visit her friend at another party while the rest of his family and Takeda included were drinking and having an impromptu karaoke in the living room downstairs.

Wanting to spend the last hour of the year doing something else quieter, Kyungsoo left and went back to his room, especially when he began to notice that Chanyeol was not there either.

Kyungsoo entered his room and closed the door behind him. It was dark but Kyungsoo had left the sheer curtains on the sliding glass door to the small balcony in his room- drawn open. From there, Kyungsoo had some amount of light shining in from outside, mostly from the opposite neighbor’s house. The light in the neighbor’s house was but it didn’t seem like anyone was home.

Kyungsoo padded his socked feet on the wooden floorboard surface to the desk in his room. Kyungsoo picked his phone up from the surface of the desk and checked it for notifications. There were a few messages from Kyungsoo’s co-workers, Sehun and the work chat group that consisted mostly of “Happy New Year” greetings.

Kyungsoo decided that he would reply to all those obligatory messages later on because there was something else at the top of his mind that he wanted to do now.

Kyungsoo placed his phone back down on the desk and looked up, towards the small balcony in his room that could be viewed from inside through the sliding glass doors.

Kyungsoo always had this room for himself but by the time his parents had moved to the house they currently lived in, Kyungsoo was already away at college and later in the military before getting his own apartment. Thus, Kyungsoo only ever stayed there during the holidays.

Under the dim lighting from outside that poured through the windows and glass door, Kyungsoo could see Chanyeol’s back from where he stood.

Chanyeol was on the balcony, leaning forward against the metal railings with his head looking up towards the snowy sky above and his warm breath forming mist in the cold air. Chanyeol was fully dressed in his black coat for the weather.

Chanyeol looked rather absorbed into the surroundings and did not notice that Kyungsoo had come into the room. Kyungsoo’s room was small enough for one standing outside on the balcony to hear someone coming into the room.

Kyungsoo picked up a jacket hanging from a hook on the wall before bracing himself to move from the warmth of his room to the cold outside to join Chanyeol on the balcony.

Chanyeol only realized that Kyungsoo was there when he heard the sliding doors being pushed open. Chanyeol looked over his shoulder and greeted, “Hey.”

“What are you up to?”, Kyungsoo asked, sliding the doors back in place as he joined Chanyeol on the balcony that was facing the neighbor’s yard and house.

“Nothing, just thinking,” Chanyeol answered, looking at Kyungsoo and then back at the night sky adorned with falling snow.

“What are you thinking about?” Kyungsoo had to ask, despite feeling a bit nosy after that. This was the first time in four months that they were alone together, after all.

Chanyeol took a while before replying, leaning his head in closer and lower to match Kyungsoo’s, “I’m just here for a few days. I’m going back to Japan in three days but I have a few things I need to do here before that which is why I decided to come.”

Kyungsoo slightly chuckled, joking, “What is it then? I thought you had come to visit me for once.”

Chanyeol smiled, “Of course I came here to see you too. It’s just that something else came along so I thought that I could visit you and do all those at the same time too.”

“Oh, is it about Go?” Kyungsoo suggested, thinking that Chanyeol would certainly ever go out of his way only for Go.

“Only partially,” Chanyeol revealed, “Do you remember that I told you about going to visit my family?”

“Yes, I do,” Kyungsoo recalled but dreaded what would come next in the conversation.

“I thought of going to visit my father while I’m here. I haven’t seen him in years and I would like to do that.” Chanyeol informed.

“When are you going?” Kyungsoo inquired while starting to feel that the cold was beginning to get to him and that he wouldn’t be able to stand out there much longer in just a jacket for insulation.

“I’m going tomorrow. Takeda got some train tickets and we’ll go to where he lives now. Do you want to come with me?” Chanyeol offered.

“I’m sorry, I can’t come with you. My shift starts at six in the morning tomorrow but it’s only a regular eight hours shift. I wouldn’t even be up this late if it weren’t for the New Year,” Kyungsoo had to decline, “I wish that I could have gone