Weeks passed by, weeks in which Jaebum couldn't really think much of anyone since he had to think about his university degree - he was going to graduate soon, in summer. He hung out with the others just a few times but only for a couple of hours because hell, university was slowly taking away his soul and whenever he finished studying, he'd fall asleep immediately. Sometimes he'd just fall asleep without even realizing it, paper sheets and books scattered all over the bed. Youngjae himself had really little time, he was always working. Jaebum had discovered that not only his neighbor was still working at the music store, he also had found a job in a cafè so he was busy both morning and afternoon. They could only see each other at nights, on the balcony and sometimes Youngjae would wait for his father to fall asleep before sneaking out to Jaebum's apartment. They would cuddle and kiss and Jaebum would pull him close to his chest, singing to his ears, whispering sweet words. They never went further than that. They never spoke about . It would be a lie to say that Jaebum hadn't thought about it. Hell yeah he had, like, almost every day of his week but he had never been with a guy and although he had made some researches on the net, he didn't really know how to make the first step. He wondered if Youngjae had been with other guys, before him. How did he find out he was gay? Who was his first crush? Did his lips touch others'? And his hands? Body? Too many questions in his mind, everything that went through his head made it hard to focus on his studies. He grunted, frustrated, as he threw a pen on the table.
He wanted him, badly. He missed him so much. And he wanted to bring him out, make his smile bright. Recently he had gotten gloomier, thinner, paler, Jaebum could see that he was tired and he didn't even know why he had to tire himself out like that with two jobs. Wasn't one enough? But Youngjae kept on telling him he needed money, never telling him why.

"We're having a party at the beach tonight. Please come? You're becoming a ghost".
He read the message with a chuckle. It was Jinyoung's. He was happy to see that his friend went along well with those dorks he had met on New Year's Eve, he had started hanging out more with them instead of the old group and sometimes he would bring his boyfriend with him. He was kind of envious, they held hands in front of everyone without getting scared of what people thought of them. And when they did so, Jaebum would steal a glance at his neighbor who kept silent, observing the intertwined fingers. They hadn't really advanced with their relationship, since they hadn't seen each other much. Jaebum hadn't still told him "I like you" – moreover "I love you", he felt like it was too early (but his heart didn't really think so and his stomach too). They were happy with how things were, they would walk side by side, sometimes their arms would brush against each other and Jaebum would feel like a middle school girl, all embarassed and excited at the same times but he never gave it away. He just wished.. he could hold him closer, he could wrap his arms around him and kiss him on his cheek, on his forehead, on his lips without everyone freaking out. Their friends were obviously ok with that and they didn't care about strangers but Youngjae.. didn't feel comfortable with showing affection in public. He was scared of meeting his father's friends or collegues or whoever and Jaebum could only resign at the idea of not being able of being all lovey dovey when they walked around town.
"You guys are lucky" he had once said to Jinyoung and his boyfriend. And he remembered the hurt look Youngjae had given him that time but he had never really understood why. He hadn't said anything wrong, had he? But Youngjae had never explained the reason behind his frown.
It was already April by the time the beach had started being more crowded and although it was still freezing outside at night, he thought that it couldn't be that bad going there for once. He could have used some free time since on June and July he would have literally be submerged in books and university meetings. He was nervous for his last exam, graduation had always seemed so far but now.. it was almost over and he didn't really know what to do of his life after university. Maybe find a job..? He didn't really want to, it seemed too hard but he couldn't just stay still all day. Anyway he decided to let himself go a little and decided that yes, he was gonna go to the party. He had to relax a little, he had been too stressed with all the studying and a drink or two didn't sound bad at all. He knew for sure Youngjae was going to be there too since it was on a Sunday night and usually he didn't work on Sundays. He asked him anyways, just to be sure.

The sun was slowly setting, the sky was painted of a beautiful orangey-pinkish color and Jaebum would have been amazed by the whole view of the beach if only he hadn't been too impatient to meet his friend. Lover. It was hard to call him that, it felt weird but he guessed they couldn't call themeselves friends anymore. Finally they could spend some time together, maybe the whole night too. They could've gone back home together and Youngjae could've passed the night in his room, cuddling by his side. He was all smiles and excitment when