Hakyeon was on the verge of breaking down, he seriously wanted to give up on everything and everyone. He had tried and tried to hold on as much as he can, for as long as he can, but in the end, he is a human being too, he got tired of all this, he wanted to let go and move on, but his heart, emotions and feelings wouldn’t let him.

       He loved Taekwoon so much, that it physically heart him in literal sense. Whenever he saw the younger male his chest cavity would retract, breathing would get ragged and his heart would try to jump out of his throat. Honestly he was surprised by his own self control and his ability to hold up a façade in front of others. He could only wish and dream about being with Taekwoon because he knew they were polar opposites, while Taekwoon was a quiet unsocial person, Hakyeon was the bubbly social butterfly. But the biggest difference in between him and Taekwoon was that, Taekwoon was someone who never showed his emotions and didn’t believe in love, only relied on casual flings, whereas Hakyeon was someone who wore his heart on his sleeves, his emotions would unintentionally get displayed on his face if he didn’t keep a check on his feelings, he believed in the true love and would only date if he was sure enough that it would last long, not that he had dated many people, the only ever relationship he had was with Wongeun & it got broken because his ex-boyfriend had to leave with his family to shift to the other part of the world. But he doesn’t regret the time he spent with Wongeun he rather still relished the memories sometimes wishing he could have that kind of relationship to share with someone, that someone in particular had to be one Jung Taekwoon.

He knew how things worked with Taekwoon and had been careful and cautious around the younger male, but alas in the end he ended up falling in love with him. He tried everything in his power to push away those feelings, to run away from his emotions but the more further he tried to run away the deeper they dug into his soul. So deep that the only way to stop himself from thinking was to distract himself from the emotional pain and convert it into physical pain. He knew pushing himself to the brim could physically worsen his body, but he didn’t care because for few hours or so, he did find peace and quiet in his head. He was habitual to doing this, dancing till his lungs, legs and head hurt, till his arms and thighs would give up, his breath shaky and heart palpitating out of his cavity cage. Sometimes he would push himself so hard that his body would snap and he would collapse, unconscious on the floor of the dance studio. Someone would either find him there completely passed out or sometimes he would gain consciousness himself, doing this was wrong and dangerous but that was his only way to find some solace.

It was still a wonder to him about how he and Taekwoon had become friends, he had meet the younger male when they entered the college as first year degree students, Hakyeon and Taekwoon both being an elite scholarship student were assigned to be the class representatives, leading for them to be introduced to each other. Soon Hakyeon had realized that Taekwoon was a man of few words, only speaking up if absolutely necessary. He had a mysterious aura about himself and would always look like he had too many secrets, he became an enigma for Hakyeon and Hakyeon being the keen person got spiked with curiosity, which lead him to prod Taekwoon more to open himself up, to break down the walls, looking back now Hakyeon wishes he hadn’t done that because that persistent behavior of himself finally wore Taekwoon out and he let Hakyeon into his shell. Hakyeon started to see a different side of Taekwoon, which he only reserved for the people he was comfortable with, this was the trigger for Hakyeon and somehow, he found himself falling for the younger male.

He didn’t regret falling for Taekwoon though because he knew, Taekwooon was a really nice person beautiful inside out, the only thing he regretted was Taekwoon’s casual flings, everyone in the campus knew that Taekwoon was guy who never dated, he didn’t believe in love nor did he trust anyone who wasn’t in his friend’s circle, but then he was a growing active male and his unsocial bad boy image made him irresistible to a lot of people, males and females alike. They would make a pass at him and if he found someone interesting enough he would give them what they wanted but only once, no names, no numbers exchanged, just a small fling and then he would be on his way. Those nights when Taekwoon would leave to be with someone, would be the nights Hakyeon would dance till the dawn, till his body would break down to lessen the pain.

Hakyeon could only blame him