JUST THE TWO OF US

Three years ago

“The usual! Coming right up,” the barista chirped as a couple entered the café, their hands entangled in each other’s.

“Thank you,” Leo smiled, before leading Ravi to their favourite spot. The two men had bliss written on their faces, and Ravi’s had particularly been glowing the whole week.

His cheeks turned a rich shade of pink as he recalled the dates he had spent with Leo ever since the latter had applied for leave a week ago. It was an enriching and intense week – they had gone on midnight picnics, where they fell asleep under the stars, and spent hours having fun at the local carnival. It was something Ravi had hoped for since they got together, and till then, Leo’s busy schedules had been in the way.

“Am I really forbidden to enter your workplace?” he stared up at Leo, hoping that his attempt at puppy eyes would move the man’s heart, and perhaps change his mind, too. “I’m sick of not understanding, at all, what you do for a living.”

Leo gave Ravi a small smile, but shifted uncomfortably. “I-I’ve told you before,” he started. “I can’t divulge too much...not even to you.”

He watched Ravi’s face fall. It pained him to constantly decline Ravi’s requests.

“Just take it that we are secret agents,” he smirked, wrapping his hands around the other’s. He gave the waiter a nod as two cups of coffee were served at the table.

Ravi sighed and sat back in his chair. “You’re taking me for a child.”

“Agent Ravi seems upset,” Leo piped. “Agent Taekwoon’s mission for the day: make Agent Ravi smile.” He moved his hand to pinch Ravi’s cheeks.

Ravi ducked swiftly. “Agent Taek-what?”

“Oh, oops,” Leo replied shyly. “Taekwoon. Let’s just say that’s my secret agent name, hehe.”

“Taek...woon? That’s what they call you at work?”

Leo nodded and eyed Ravi eagerly. “You’re the only one who knows it,” he whispered.

Ravi rolled his eyes but managed to break into a small smile. “Thanks for finally letting me in into your other world, then. But don’t expect me to remember such a strange-sounding name.”

Leo’s eyes lit up upon seeing Ravi’s smile. “Mission success,” he chirped softly.

“On a more serious note,” he pulled his chair in. “What do you wanna do this afternoon? This entire week is ours. Just the two of us.”

Ravi cocked his head, considering his choices. “Well, Hongbin’s not home until nine,” he suggested, eyeing Leo.

The other man broke into a small laugh. “Alright. Your place, then.”

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Present

“Apparently, the Ken guy’s a real deal in Korea,” Ravi commented as he watched Hongbin scurry back and forth in the living room. He had finally got around to tidy the apartment – his favourite pastime – given that he had been engrossed in his video games for the past few weeks.

“Well, if I had known that,” Hongbin replied, crushing their empty food packaging and tossing it into the trash bag, “I wouldn’t have let you return his phone, you know. We could have sold it for some easy cash,” he chuckled.

Ravi rolled his eyes, recalling how distrustful Hongbin had been of Ken. “Who’s the theif now?”

“You,” Hongbin said matter-of-factly. He moved on to tidy the shoe cabinet. Ravi knew that he was just busying himself with housework as he waited expectantly for Hakyeon to knock off from work. The man seemed to occupy his mind constantly and the older twin had noticed how restless Hongbin would get just from being away from Hakyeon for a day.

“I’ll be discarding this.”

Ravi looked up and managed to catch a glimpse of the object before it disappeared into the trash bag. “Wait, no-“

“That wasn’t a question,” Hongbin replied, moving on to the drawers and rummaging through his old shoes. “Just letting you know.”

The other man leapt towards the trash bag, but Hongbin’s quick reflexes enabled him to snatch the bag away even before Ravi’s fingertips could brush against it.

“We’re not keeping a stupid photograph,” he said quietly. “Especially not any photograph with him in it. And now that I’m back home, I’ll make sure that I rid the house of anything else like it.”

Ravi narrowed his eyes. “Leo never said he wouldn’t return. Stop convicting him of something’s he’s never done.”

Hongbin stopped what he was doing and turned to his twin, his face so grave that it actually frightened Ravi.

 “Oh?” he said. “How about you stop deluding yourself? I know it hurts, but I gotta say it. He changed. He stopped loving you. And he ain’t feeling no guilt.”

Ravi felt Hongbin’s words collapse on him like concrete crushing his soul. The imaginary wall that he had built in his head shattered in an instant, crumbling into ruins as he watched a flash of anger form in Hongbin’s eyes.

“You guys did everything together. Went to the same café. Indulged in the same music. Chased each other under the stars,” he continued. “And one day he decided he wanted something new.”

His vision was clouded by the sudden onset of tears, but he could tell, nonetheless, the clear look of disappointment on Hongbin’s face. His hands trembled and there was a sharp ache in his chest, but he fought to ignore it just like he wanted to ignore what Hongbin had just said.

“Leo’s not worth it. You need to move on,” the younger one added, grabbing the trash bag and heading for the door. He stopped before the porch. “And I hope today will be the last time I say this.”

Ravi watched as the last trace of the bag disappeared behind the doorframe. He pulled his hands to his ears. He did not want to hear anything.

He felt the cold, hard floor as he crouched down, catching his breath. Hongbin’s words had slapped him right back into reality, and the network of what-ifs that he had painstakingly constructed over the past year crumbled like a fragile tower of cards in soft breeze.

He stopped loving you.

Ravi shook his head. It seemed useless in expelling the grief that had overwhelmed his soul – the grief that had only been suppressed, but never truly erased from the record of time.

He heard the Wise One’s words echo in his head.

Setting fire to the library of archives cannot ever eliminate the influence of knowledge it once offered, for even the very ashes carry with them the documentation of tragedy and everything before it.

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“How do I get the Sorcerer to help unlock Quest 52 again?”

Hakyeon shook his finger. “I said it once, and I’m not saying it again.”

Hongbin felt a rush of anxiety. “Please,” he pleaded.

“I’m not revealing cheats and hacks to my own game,” Hakyeon scoffed. “That’s digging my own grave.”

“But you’ve already taught me so many tricks. Why would one more even hurt you?”

“That’s because those tricks only apply to other games,” the other man replied with indifference. “You know, many of the things we do are a trade secret. And by sabotaging my rival companies for you, I’ve already put the industry at great risk, so learn to work hard and unlock that quest yourself.”

“You’re no fun,” Hongbin rolled his eyes. “And it seems like you don’t trust me, even after all this time.”

Hakyeon noticed the hurt in his voice, but maintained his stance. “The only thing that’s no fun is cheating your way through what’s meant to be a game,” he sighed. “You said that yourself – my game would be ‘stupid and unplayable’.” He leaned toward Hongbin. “How, then, would you enjoy the playing process?”

Hongbin sank back in his chair. He knew Hakyeon was right, but he did not like how the man still kept a distance between him when it came to gaming. Sure, it was his source of income, but it was not as if he would leak his secrets.

“I could teach you more,” Hakyeon started, as if reading his mind, turning to face Hongbin with a gleam in his eye. “If, you know, you were a fellow colleague.”

Hongbin raised an eyebrow. “You want me to join the industry?”

Hakyeon continued smiling.

“How, are you gonna make me sign up for one of those basic courses your company has to offer? For some commission?” Hongbin questioned, evidently doubtful of Hakyeon’s motives.

Hakyeon sat back in his chair and let out a hollow laugh. “Of course not. Given your competence, you don’t need to start from the very bottom,” he said.

“Besides, I’ll take you under my wing...privately,” he whispered. “I can be your personal coach. For free.”

Hongbin sat up. He had to admit that he was interested – gaming took up a large part of his life, and he would be more than willing to integrate that into his future career. Nevertheless, Hakyeon’s offer sounded too good to be true.

“And how would you benefit from this,” he eyed Hakyeon suspiciously. “I mean, why would you even want to do this?”

Hakyeon shrugged. “I always have to work with a team. The company’s interests always come first, and there is really no avenue for me to do what I want, without constraint.”

“So, I was thinking that we could collaborate privately,” he added. “To create a game for ourselves. A product of just the two of us.”

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“We used to lie under the stars together,” Taekwoon mumbled quietly. “The universe was the witness to our love. How we often gazed up to the heavens.”

She listened to his breathing. Every breath he exhaled brought with it a hint of sorrow. Sometimes, she felt guilty for not remembering what she was supposed to remember. Wonshik had told her that Taekwoon was the bane of her existence, but oftentimes, she found herself wondering if it was the other way round.

“The sky was starry and the night was serene. Just like tonight.”

She sighed. Nothing he said really evoked any feeling in her; his words only encouraged the strange onset of heart palpitations, at best.

“That’s the constellation of Leo,” she finally said, pointing to a patch of the sky. Taekwoon was surprised that she had finally contributed to the conversation – the past twenty minutes of ranting felt like a monologue.

Ravi blinked a few times. The constellation of Leo.

He must be going crazy. Since Hongbin’s lecture, he could not get Leo out of his head. Even in attempting to distract himself with reading, his name continued to haunt him in the story.

He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. It disturbed him how eerily similar the story was to his life.

“That’s the constellation of Leo.”

Those were his exact words. He recalled the first night he had spent with Leo under the stars.

“Oh look-“  Leo had squealed. “And beside that is the constellation of Ravi.”

He remembered how Leo’s black hair had framed his small face as he lay beside him. His pale skin had reflected the silver moonlight, glowing under his gaze.

“You made that up,” he had replied. “There’s no such thing.”

Ravi shook his head and closed the book. The story was beginning to remind him of the past. He could not explain why the name Taekwoon felt so familiar, either.

He had to admit that the storyline drew him in. However, he was not in the mood to continue with the book, especially when each chapter he read tugged harder at his heartstrings.

Reaching for his phone, he checked for notifications. To his surprise, there was a message from Hakyeon.

From Hakyeon:  Check this out. Ken’s performance from two years ago. I think you’ll like it. http://youtube.com/watch/ahe7fgq  

Ravi sighed. For once, he put his book aside.

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(A/N: I hope you do not click on the link. I made it up. Hopefully it does not link to anything funny. Btw, I love Taekwoon with all my heart – he might seem like an antagonist right now but I promise all Leo stans that I have nothing against him. More to be revealed soon! Thank you for any comments.)