MY SIDE OF THE STORY

Ravi stared at his phone.

“Should I bother him?” he questioned himself.

He knew he enjoyed himself a lot that day; it was the first time in months he actually had a day filled with endless laughter and joy.

He knew he had Jaehwan and Hongbin to thank – particularly the former. The two had come home with a birthday present for , to Ravi’s surprise. Jaehwan had even volunteered to help with the making of the cake, and even when the dog had refused finish the cake after two small bites, they both knew it had still been a rather fruitful attempt.

He wanted to send a thank-you message to Jaehwan, but his heart was pounding against his chest.

How many times have I thanked him in just a few days? He thought. He must be starting to think that I’m annoying.

“Maybe I should ask Hongbin.”

He took a peek into the other’s room, but his face fell as soon as he saw that Hongbin was on a video call with Hakyeon.

Ravi sunk back in his chair. “It’s either do or die.”

To Jaehwan:

Thank you for today, really.

These few days have been the happiest days I’ve had in about a year

I know we’ve only just met, but I feel like we’ve known each other for so much longer

With you, I don’t have to hold back about my secrets. You’re like the next closest friend I have next to my own brother

I’m also glad that you and Hongbin seem to be getting along much better now

I do hope we continue to stay in contact even after your holiday ends ^^

Instantly, Jaehwan came online. Ravi waited patiently as he read the messages.

“Maybe I should send him a picture of in his new bed,” he smiled. He got up to look for the dog, his heart filling with warmth as soon as he saw snuggled up cosily and fast asleep in the bed that was the gift from Jaehwan and Hongbin.

To Jaehwan:

- Image -

I think he really likes it ^^

I’ve discussed with Hongbin. It’s only right that the cost is split among the three of us

is so lucky to receive so much love

Disappointment clouded his heart right as he realised that Jaehwan had gone offline, leaving his previous messages on ‘read’.

…

He ruffled his hair in frustration. He wondered why Jaehwan was enough to send his heart pounding.

Five minutes passed, and Jaehwan still had not come online. Ravi was getting more and more restless by the minute, the uncomfortable heart palpitations in his chest pulling him into a fainting spell that he had not felt in weeks.

He’s ignoring me now? I hope not…

He threw his phone onto the bed and noticed the unfinished book lying atop his bedside table. He had been spending much less time reading in the past week, having been occupied with having fun with Jaehwan.

Reading was and still is my escape, he thought.

He reached over and grabbed the book, flipping it open to his bookmarked pages.

He read the first few lines over and over again, but his mind kept wandering back to his phone.

“Focus!” he yelled. “He probably needs some time to reply.”

“How are you?”

She kept her eyes fixed ahead, refusing to answer.

Taekwoon pulled her to face him. “You seem really disinterested nowadays.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

He grabbed her hand. “Tell me, please…that you only have eyes for me.”

“W-what are you talking about…?”

“You haven’t…” he stared right into her eyes. “…fallen for anyone else, have you?”

Ravi gulped. He eyed his phone on his bed. Have I…fallen for him…?

“There’s literally no one else out here,” she scoffed. “Fallen for whom?”

Taekwoon smiled. “That’s good to hear.”

He pulled her into an embrace, but she no longer felt the same warmth that radiated from his body.

“I…” she started. “Could you tell me more about our past? What really happened?”

Taekwoon closed his eyes and hugged her tighter. “What do you think happened?”

“Something…sinister?”

There was a short silence. He let go of her body, taking a few steps back to face her.

“Then you haven’t heard my side of the story.”

Ravi jumped in surprise as his phone buzzed from a new notification. He slapped his book closed, leaping onto the bed excitedly.

From Jaehwan:

Hi Ravi…I’ve been meaning to tell you something, but I really did not know how to bring it up. I guess writing it down in letter form is much easier for me. I’m bad with words, but I just wanna let you know that you’re really brave. It stumped me earlier when you told me about your past, but really, to have lasted this long is already a good thing.

Remember what you told me about wanting to be numb? Imma still assert this – to be able to feel is fundamentally a privilege. Life is such an amazing and profound concept, and we must learn to cherish what comes with it. Every day, there are people who wake up living their last days. It hurts to think that beyond that, they will have lost their ability to love and to be loved, to care for and be cared for.

We should embrace whatever life brings us while we still are alive, and live every day with as much emotion as there can be. Numbing ourselves only prolongs our suffering, and living life like a zombie can be an utter waste of our short lifespans.We are alive and that is a gift – to prefer to be numb means preferring to deny ourselves of such a gift. While we are not yet dead, let’s live our lives to the fullest! :)

I understand what you’re going through. It gets better, I promise

Sorry for the long message

And bad English, if any. I translated this from Korean lol

About the gift, it’s okay. It’s my treat. And Hongbin’s

I do hope too that we stay in contact ^^

Remember to turn up tomorrow. I think Hyuk’s quite excited to meet you :)

Ravi grinned to himself. All that worry for nothing, he scoffed inwardly. It warmed his heart how Jaehwan was so thoughtful.

He carefully considered Jaehwan’s words. Perhaps it was time he stopped looking back at the past.

Jung Leo, he thought. I’ll be fine without you.

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“Not this way! Dumbbin!!” Hyuk cried in frustration. “You at this so bad.”

“Shut up,” Hongbin rolled his eyes. It reminded him of how he used to scream at Hakyeon when they played. “This is too low-level. The games I play at home require much more sophisticated skills.”

“Watch out!”

Hyuk covered his face with his hands as Hongbin’s virtual race car rammed into the side barricades.

“I’m. Gonna. Show. You. How. It’s. Done.”

Hongbin moved over for Hyuk to take his place, but the younger one stayed in his original position.

“Don’t move,” he snapped. He placed his palms over the back of Hongbin’s hands, guiding him to rotate the steering wheel. “Just watch what I do.”

Hongbin flinched upon feeling the warmth of Hyuk’s gigantic hands. “You- “

“Shhhhh! I can’t concentrate if you’re talking.”

Hongbin bit his lip, letting Hyuk take the lead. He stared at the screen, but he was not paying any attention to the game – Hyuk’s hot breath against his ear and strong grasp on his hands made his heart stop for a second.

“There.”

Hongbin sat up in surprise as the warmth against his skin suddenly vanished. Hyuk had taken a few steps backwards and was pointing to the screen confidently.

“You see? High score,” he smirked. He glanced around the arcade. “I’m gonna go look for Jaehwan hyung.”

Hongbin opened his mouth, but Hyuk was already gone.

“Whatever,” he shook his head. “What am I thinking?” He quickly inserted another coin into the slot. “I’m gonna put your high score to shame.”

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“HYUNG!” Hyuk screamed as he lifted the curtains. Inside the photobooth, Ravi and Jaehwan yelled in shock.

“What was that for!” Jaehwan shot the young one an annoyed look.

“Two grown men…doing this?” Hyuk chuckled. “I thought taking such cutesy photos was for teenage girls.”

Ravi’s face flushed. Jaehwan, however, did not seem fazed. “That’s because I’m still cute,” he pouted at Hyuk. “Unlike you.”

Jaehwan tapped on the screen to activate the timer, changing poses every second as the camera snapped. Beside him, Ravi just maintained his small smile, unable to replicate Jaehwan’s adorable poses.

Hyuk shook his head. He felt a burning sensation in his chest as he watched the two men. Leo wouldn’t want this.

He felt torn; Jaehwan seemed to really like spending time with Ravi. If his good friend had really taken a liking to someone, he wanted to rejoice for him. However, it could also mean that Ravi was beginning to forget Leo – the man who had sacrificed everything for his happiness.

Just a while more, he thought. Just a while more before everyone realises they’ve wronged him all along.

He sighed and released his grip, allowing the curtains to fall back in place. He looked around the arcade for Hongbin.

His eyes lit up as soon as he found the guy making his way to the claw machines.

“Time to assert my dominance again,” he chuckled.

“Why are you back here,” Hongbin rolled his eyes upon seeing the approaching figure. “Go and play with your Jaehwan hyung.”

“Here to see you fail at this,” Hyuk smirked. “I’ll consider helping you if beg me for it, though. That’s what Jaehwan hyung does…he at the claw machine.”

Hongbin gave Hyuk distasteful look, but said nothing. He peered through the glass to pick a toy he liked.

“Wait…I think he’ll like that one,” he mumbled to himself, grinning happily.

“Who??”

Hongbin shook his head. “You don’t need to know.”

Hyuk sulked in the corner. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll just be waiting for your plea.”

He watched, wide-eyed, as Hongbin successfully picked up the toy at first try. He moved the claw carefully over the chute and dropped the toy in to the receiving bin.

“Who needs your help?” the older one scoffed as he bent down to pick up the toy. He stared intensely at the plush, his smile vanishing from his face.

Why am I even doing this, he sighed inwardly. He won’t appreciate it.

He looked up at Hyuk.

“Don’t say I didn’t ask. Do you…want it,” he hesitantly offered the toy to him.

Hyuk frowned. “Y-you’re giving it to me?’

“I don’t want it. I don’t play with toys.”

“Then why did you even- “

“Nevermind,” Hongbin shrugged, retracting his arm. “I’ll just keep it for now.”

“Wait!” Hyuk yelled. “Gimme.”

Hongbin side-eyed him before handing the toy over. “Don’t say it’s from me.”

Hyuk smiled. He never liked playing with toys, either, but a soft voice in his mind told him to accept it. “Thanks, bro.”

“Who’s your bro?” Hongbin scoffed. He looked around the place. “Where’s Ravi and Jaehwan? It’s time for lunch. I’m hungry.”

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Jaehwan gripped Ravi’s hand tightly. Beside them, Hongbin cocked his head.

“What the are you doing,” he hissed softly, jabbing his finger at Hyuk. He glanced uncomfortably at Ravi. “I thought we agreed on this- “

“Agreed on what?” Hyuk replied. “It’s time you knew. All three of you must know the truth.”

Hongbin narrowed his eyes and started laughing.

“You expect us to believe you?” he scoffed. “I thought he was one bad liar, but turns out you’re even worse.”

He leant in, his face only inches from Hyuk’s. “Deaths Planner..? Karma...?” he laughed. “What kind of crappy tales are you spinning right now??”

Hyuk was expressionless. “I saw it with my own eyes.”

Hongbin clenched his fist and raised his arm, but Ravi pulled him back. “No, wait, Hongbin. Let him continue.”

“Are you gonna be led on by him? Into another set of lies?” Hongbin snarled. “You’d listen to anything that tells you Jung Leo still loves you.”

“Actually…” Jaehwan started. “I don’t believe you, too, Hyuk. What the ?”

Hyuk bit his lip and took out his phone. “I really don’t want to show you this, but it can’t be helped that you guys are not believing me.”

He opened a clip and showed them the footage he had prepared beforehand, watching as Hongbin and Jaehwan’s mouths fell open in shock and Ravi’s face turned pale.

“He never wanted any one of you to know about this,” Hyuk began. “I asked him to show me again. Those crazy blue flames. And scary blue eyes…I felt so bad hiding a camera in there.”

Hongbin looked up at Hyuk, not even bothering to finish the video. “Nice editing you’ve go there, bro.”

Jaehwan glanced over at Ravi worriedly. “Ravi…?”

Ravi was silent.

“It’s not editing,” Hyuk asserted. “I’d ask him to come here and show you if I could.”

“Get him here, then!” Hongbin yelled. “Why is he still such a coward?” He stood up and began shouting in all directions. “JUNG LEO- “

Hyuk pulled him back and covered his mouth, his grip strong against Hongbin’s helpless struggles.

“KEEP. QUIET. PLEASE,” he shushed. “You want the whole world to know about this?”

Jaehwan grabbed Hyuk’s phone, replaying the clip again and again as he scrutinised the footage.

“I…”

The three men turned to face Ravi, whose eyes were already b with tears.

“Was that why he…he was so ing secretive about his job?”

Hyuk remained silent.

“Why he never wanted to reveal any single ing thing?” Ravi screamed, grabbing the edge of the table agitatedly. “Why he always left for work while I was still asleep, and returned when I was already in bed…? Why he never told me where his workplace even was? Because it’s everywhere, isn’t it? The roads, the hospital, the sea…you name it?”

Hongbin froze in his spot. He knew Ravi made sense. Leo indeed never talked about his work in front of the both of them; heck, he did not even know how Leo had gotten his job, which was ridiculous in itself given that they had both grown up together.

“He…” Ravi glanced at Hyuk suddenly, his eyes widened in shock. “His name is Taekwoon...isn’t it…?”

He felt the name roll out of his tongue as it all clicked in his head. He recalled the time Leo had disclosed that detail to him – Agent Taekwoon, he had said. He thought about the book he was reading, how the name Taekwoon floated everywhere throughout the story.

Hongbin eyed his brother worriedly. Perhaps Ravi did know a bit more, and if it corresponded with Hyuk’s story, it could mean that he was telling the truth.

Hyuk nodded. “He did say that.”

Ravi sank back in his chair, his fingers trembling. “I…I need to meet him. Now. Please.”

Jaehwan stared at Hyuk, waiting for his response. Hongbin was at a loss for words.

“You can’t,” Hyuk said. “I’m not done yet. Please, just listen. You only know what he is…You need know why he left.”

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