Kim Namjoon lived in a haze. Not the romantic kind of haze, but the kind of haze that made him think he was losing his mind. He could not focus for the life of him. It felt like the beats were fading and his lyrics had disappeared. He had never been so frustrated, the words he was searching for floating just out of his reach. If he focused on it too hard, the further away song seemed to run.

He would sit for hours in the studio in his haze, staring blankly at the music mixer where the same beat was playing over and over again, becoming a senseless, droning rhythm in the background. His eyes glazed over, staring at some point behind the computer screen.

He never knew how long he was sitting there, just staring, until one of the members would come get him, claiming he's missed dinner or that it's the early morning and he should really get some sleep.

"How's the song coming?" they would ask as they made their way back to dorms. He was the leader, he couldn't show that he was having a hard time because that would only cause them to be more stressed. And more stress was the last thing s needed right now. It was his job as a leader to try and reduce their stress as much as possible. So, he would shrug and reply, "You know, it's coming along."