“It’s not normal for you to be so distracted”, Yongguk says.

“Something has piqued my interest”, Himchan says with a smirk on his face.

“A new toy perhaps?”

“Something like that”

“Well, get your head back in this raid. It’s important”, Yongguk says.

“Would I ever let me down?”

“No, but I don’t want it starting now”

Himchan rolls his eyes and gets his game face back on as he concentrates on the plan laid out on the table. There is a detailed plan of the building they would be raiding with all the security details of the building, provided by yours truly Youngjae, the brain of the group.

“What’s my position?”

“Right here”, Daehyun spoke as he pointed on the map.

“So basically, he only comes in if we are in a pinch”, Zelo says as he cleans his gun.

“I’m on the first aid duty again?” Himchan asks as he eyes the map.

He has been assigned to a fairly safe and hidden area along with Youngjae who will be supplying information to the rest of the members during the mission.

Of course they will be in the safety of Youngjae’s van. This was no ordinary van, oh no. Youngjae himself had taken to liberty of customising it and had fully decked it out with all his spy equipment.

“You are our last hope”, Jongup says as he eyes his own assigned position on the map.

“And let’s hope it doesn’t come to that”, Yongguk says.

They all nod in agreement. It wasn’t like Himchan couldn’t fight, he was their lifeline and they rather not have him in the battlefield.

With the planning done and discussed the raid was carried on without even a single mistake. After all, teamwork made the dream work. Except for one tiny problem…you.

You don’t know how it happened or when it happened. You only remember agreeing to do some over time for your boss so it was quiet late in the night. You had heard noises outside but shrugged it off but the noise only got louder. You unwillingly went to check the window in the office when you saw a random van and then in about a few seconds you made eye contact with a familiar face. 

He still had the striking red hair you remember from the other day. And for a second you wonder what this stranger was doing here but you are brought out of your thoughts when you feel something come in contact with your nose. Your eyes widen as you realise it a hand holding a cloth. You inhale the chloroform despite your brain telling you not to as your body goes in shock and slowly the world around you darkens.

When you come to you are lying in bed. You still have your clothes on from the last time you remember. Your eyes slowly registers to the dim lighting of the room you are in. The walls are bare and are painted grey, there were only one window, which was tiny and barely let any light in. As you tried to sit up your head pounded and you clutch it in pain.

“I wouldn’t try to sit up yet”

His voice is deep and smooth. It almost feels relaxing. Almost.

“Where am I? Who are you? What do you want?”

He laughs, it’s a small laugh but it emits from deep within his chest. You notice a little dimple just bellow his right eye, which for a split second you think, is cute but brush it off as you remember that you are in a room with a stranger!

“You are at my humble apartment, and as to who I am…I am nobody important and what I want from you is your attention”, he says, his smile still plastered on his face.

“Well, nobody important, I’m sure you still have a name”

“Ah, I do and it’s Himchan”

You feel like you have heard that name before but you cannot remember where it is from.

“So, why am I here?” you ask as you slowly manage to sit up straight.

“I think you can answer some of my questions first before I answer any more of yours”, he says as he sits on the edge of the bed you were in.

You move away a bit to make room for him and at the same time keep a good distance away from him. This makes him laugh again.

“Don’t be scared, I’m not going to hurt you. What kind of man would I be if I hurt someone so vulnerable? ”

“Is that your question?”

He laughs again.

“What is your name?” he asks once he is done laughing and then he looks at you.

His’s gaze is steady and you cannot look away as you tell him your name. He repeats your name before telling you it’s a lovely name. You don’t know how to reply so you simply thank him.

“My next question is, did you have any idea who you were working for?” he asks simply.

“Yes, my boss’ name is Lee Minhyuk and he owns the small company”, you say with confidence.

“Oh, how wrong you are”, he says and you look at him in shock.

“The company you worked for was an illegal company and was owned by Lee Minhyuk as you said. But, they have been avoiding government taxes for years”

“What?”

He ignores your shock and carries on with his third question.

“What do you plan to do now that you are jobless?”

“What?”

“Oh yes, you don’t know. You have been out of it for several days. That stupid Daehyun put double the amount of chloroform”, Himchan says more to himself.

“Several days?” you ask in horror.

“Indeed, and all this time I have been taking care of you so how do you plan on repaying me?”

“I have savings!” you say firmly but he simply laughs.

“I have enough money”, he says.

You are rendered silent by his reply, which makes him laugh again. At this point you are completely lost and you have no idea where you are or who this person was. You were sure your family was worried sick and you didn’t know if you should take Himchan’s word and believe that you were indeed jobless. And then the urge to cry kicks in.

Himchan watches you as you let your tears fall. You were clearly scared and he didn’t know what he could do. He had been so out of touch with the outside world that he couldn’t remember what the appropriate thing to do would be. So he just gently reaches over and pulls you into his warm embrace. He almost expects you to push him away as he had literally just said that your life had been ruined. You cry until you fall asleep and Himchan almost hates himself.

The next day when you wake up, the bed is empty, you vaguely remember your conversation with Himchan and almost wish it had all been a bad dream but when you look across the room you see a sleeping Himchan on the chair in the corner.

He looked so peaceful that it made you smile. You quietly get out of bed and walk around the room. There was a bookshelf in another corner, which was filled with books as a few photo frames. One had a picture of someone you think was a younger Himchan with his family and another one had the Himchan you recognise with a group of other boys.

You stare at that one for a while before you suddenly remember why Himchan was a familiar name. You dropped the frame from your shaking hands and Himchan immediately wakes up and takes a gun out of his inside jacket pocket.  Instinctively he points it at the noise source which was you.

“Please”, you whisper.

“Y/N?”

You start backing away from Himchan.

“Please don’t hurt me”, you say as you start shaking in fear.

Himchan immediately drops his gun and walks over to you but you carry on walking away from him. You were scared and he knew it.

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I was only a worker, I swear”, you start rambling.

“I know”, he says but you cannot hear him in your fear.

“I didn’t know the company was illegal”, you say as you start shaking more and more and you fall to the ground.

“It’s ok, relax. I am not going to hurt you”, he says gently as he gets on the floor to your level and slowly approaches you.

You have nowhere else to run as you have hit the wall behind you and you were too scared to move. Himchan slowly brings his hands around your shoulder and you freeze.

“It’s ok”, he says again.

He says it so gently that you relax a little bit.

“No one is going to hurt you. Trust me”, he says as he pulls you into his arms once again and all you can do is nod.

And that was how you had started your relationship with B.A.P’s Kim Himchan. He said he would keep you safe and you stayed next to him, more out of fear than anything else. He let you have your freedom and you kept in regular contact with your family and friends. There was no need for you to have a job anymore as Himchan gave you everything you needed and so much more.

He was never harsh and always spoke to you gently. He never forced you to do things you weren’t comfortable with and you two cuddled once in a while when he was especially tired and had a hard day with the rest of the boys. You two had also shared a few kisses but nothing beyond that.

Eventually Himchan had taken you to meet s who were all nice to you despite your fear but Himchan promised that they were all good guys. He was right and they made you feel welcomed.

Further into the relationship, Himchan became worried for your safety so he taught you how to defend yourself and had offered to teach you how to use a gun just in case but you had refused to hold or even touch a gun. He understood that and didn’t force it on you. However, he still showed you the basics, just in case. He taught you how the safety lock worked and how to load it and shoot and then reload it.

You were sure if you had to hold a gun you would probably freeze and forget everything he showed you but he had laughed and said that you were smart so you would be all right. It had made you happy to get a compliment and at the same time it flustered you a little bit but you hid it well.

You had never really taken the time to think about your own feelings as half the time you were in fear. Fear for your life, your safety and eventually fear for Himchan’s life and safety.

Himchan had somehow become an important part of your life. You worried for him on nights he came home late. Some nights he would be exhausted but other nights he would come back exhausted and covered in blood. You always freaked out over all the blood but he would laugh it off and say it was the other members’ but you didn’t believe him.

One night in particular he had come in limping. You were quiet shocked and ran to him.

“Are you ok?” you asked him with worried eyes.

He had smiled his usual smile and said it was nothing but clearly it wasn’t nothing. He had told you to go to bed and that he would clean up and come to bed too. But you refused and followed him to the bathroom and forced his top off of him to see that he had been badly injured.

Thankfully it wasn’t a gun wound. It was a nasty looking cut.

“How did it happen?” you ask him as you try to look at his face.

“Tch. One of the enemies sneaked up on me and Youngjae…I got too close. It was a careless mistake”, he says simply as he avoids your gaze.

He searches around the bathroom cupboard for his first aid kit but fails to find it. You sigh and take it out of one of the other cupboards. He smiles at you and reaches for it but you snatch it away.

“I’ll do it”, you say firmly and Himchan knew not to argue when you used that tone of voice.

You get him a chair he can sit on and then you kneel down on the floor so you are eye to eye with the wound. Up close it doesn’t look so bad.

You carefully clean up the cut with some alcohol on a cotton ball while Himchan doesn’t even flinch and then you slowly start dressing his wound. All the while he stares at you in wonder.

“Have you thought about what you would do if I died?”

Your hands stop.

“Why would you say such things?” you ask as you gather your thoughts and concentrate back on the task at hand.

“I bet you would be out of here in no time”, he says with a laugh as he ignores his reply.

“I did force you to stay with me”, he adds.

“Have I ever complained?”

“No, but I can see it in your eyes”, he says as he carries on looking at you.

You have almost finished dressing his wound. The two of you are silent as you finish. You look up at him and his eyes finally meet yours.

“To be honest, I haven’t thought about what I would do”, you say holding his strong gaze.

He has the same gaze as he had when you had finally woken up and met Himchan properly. It had sent a chill down your spine that day and it still had the same effect today too.

“How come?”

“I can’t think of what I’d do without you…when…this started. Whatever this was, I had seriously thought of running away but I was so scared back then. After a while I just learnt to be with you.”

You stand up so he was now looking up at you. You slowly put your arms around his neck and his arms made it around your waist.

“I started worrying about you, even though I know you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. So many nights I spent laying awake waiting for you and only fall asleep after I felt your presence next me.”

You feel his grip around your waist tighten.

“I didn’t know you waited for me to get back home”, he whispers.

“It was new to me too”, you say with a smile.

“It felt like I couldn’t fall asleep without the weight of your arm on top of me”, you say and this makes him laugh.

“You haven’t failed to show up alive yet so I just pray that you carry on doing the same every night”, you whisper.

His head is now resting on your chest as he listens to your steady heartbeat and takes in your scent. He doesn’t know when either but having you by him felt nice. It felt like home. He didn’t think he was going to keep you around for so long but it had already been two years since your first meeting.

“You love me?” he asks suddenly.

“Yeah”, you say without hesitating, “I love you.”

“I love you too”