Eomma wasn't one to apologize unless the situation truly warranted it. In the last three minutes, by my count, she'd told me she was sorry at least five times.

"It's just," she continued, as I moved quickly around my room, finding my shoes and keys, "once you've promised skateboard entertainers, you can't really back out."

"It's fine," I told her again. "Just tell me where they are."

"On highway 55 off ramp. They say you can't miss them, as they're -"

"Skateboarders," I finished for her. "Got it. On my way."

"I'm so sorry!" she said again. "If you can just get them here, that's all we need. Give Mark my apologies."

"I'm not meeting him until 7:30," I said, checking the clock just to be safe. It was 6:15. "I'll see you soon. I'll be the one with the carful of skateboarders."

"Thank you."

Ten minutes later, I was pulling up behind broken-down brown bus where six men in jumpsuits and various of equipments waiting around. I unlocked my doors, they jumped in, and we headed to the Amber Liu reception, which was slated to begin in mere minutes at the N Estate across town. When we pulled up in front, Wooyoung was waiting.

"Oh, thank goodness," he said, as they all exit, grabbing their bags of gear. "All right, everyone, follow this path here around the patio area and wait for further instructions. We'll need you to greet guests momentarily."

The skateboarders took off, adjusting their outfits. "But if you really mean it, feel free to stick around. I've got a whole group of performing dogs that need to behave during the passed appetizers."

"Dogs? I thought you guys were joking about Vivi."

"Oh, that's not Vivi," he said. "This is a professional dog theme your mom had come in from Seoul. You should seeing the dancing ones."

"Wow," I said. Couple of cars turned into the N Estate lot, driving slowly, obviously looking for spaces. "Looks like you have some early birds."

They probably didn't wait until the vows were done," he grumbled, as one parked, a couple in a dress clothes climbing out. "I'll never understand people who are that desperate to get to a reception. Do they not get out much?"

I smiled, having heard this many times before, as another car drove past us, finding a spot. Despite my time away, I could still feel it, that slow simmer of excitement/dread that always hit in the moments an event began. You just never knew how the night would go.

Wooyoung's phone beeped. "Your mom is reporting surly bartenders," he reported, after looking at the screen. "I guess it's time for my patented attitude adjustment."

"I'll pray for them," I told him, as he fixed his tie.

"You just get out of here," he replied, giving me a quick kiss on the check. "Save yourself."

"Will do."

As he disappeared down the path, though, I stayed where I was, watching as a few more guest arrived. Around the building, I could see tables set up with white cloths and flower arrangements that even from a distance I could tell had come from Kimmy's. I wondered if Sehun had gone to get them, maybe with Vivi, and if Mrs. Kimmy had asked about me. They'd get used to my absence soon enough, though, and probably Sehun's as well. Summer was almost over. After Julee's wedding, he had his own life to get back to. Wherever that would be.

"Excuse me," I heard someone say from behind me, "but is this the way to the N Estate event?"

I turned, facing an older man in a suit. "Yes. It's around back."

He looked down the path, as if not sure he believed me, then looked back at the lot, as if reconsidering attending at all. Now that I noticed, there really wasn't clear signage. "Why don't you follow me," I told him. "This way."

Around back, I found Eomma standing by the table assignments, lighting a candle. When she saw me, her eyes widened. "This gentleman is a guest," I said, nodding at the behind me. "The route isn't totally clear. You might want to have someone out front, just in case."

"Oh, right," she said, smiling at the man as he came to her table. "Sehun? Can you go around front and direct traffic?"

Up until that second, I hadn't seen him. Suddenly, though, there he was, in a black dress shirt and white tie, standing right in front of me. He looked as uncomfortable as I suddenly felt.

"Hi," I said, feeling like it was my job to start whatever conversation, hopefully minimal, that was necessary.

"Hey," he replied, then immediately looked at my mom. "You need me out front?"

"Just wave people in this general direction," Eomma told him, lighting another candle. "And make sure Suzy leaves; she's got a hot date."

At this, my face flush. I hadn't told Eomma or Wooyoung anything about what had almost happened between me and Sehun. What was the point? You don't start stories that have no middle or end, and this one barely had a beginning either. Just a couple of sentences, messy ones, trailing off into nothingness. Period.

"Right," Sehun said, turning and walking up the path. "Come on, Suzy. You don't want to keep your man waiting."

"that's the spirit," Eomma called out, totally oblivious. "Have fun, sweetie!"

Now even more uncomfortable, I kept my eyes focused on the back of Sehun's shirt as I followed him up the path to the parking lot where a group of guests were gathered, trying to decided if they were supposed to go through the main building, around, or another route.

"Reception is this way, everyone," Sehun called out, and they all headed toward us. "You'll find your table assignments just around back. Enjoy!"

I stepped aside on the grass as one woman, clearly focused on the appetizers first, barreled past me, her embarrassed date following along behind. Soon, everyone had followed, and it was just me and Sehun again on the sidewalk, as more cars pulled into the lot.

"I can stay awhile, if you need help," I said, feeling like I should offer, well, something.

"I think I can handle pointing people in a direction," he replied, his voice cool. "But thanks."

Just go, I told myself, as a couple with two little girls in pink dresses began to head our way, their voices carrying on. He doesn't want you here any more than you want to be. But then I thought again about the short time remaining before I left for school, and how everything already felt like it was wrapping up. Who knew when I'd have another chance to do the same with this?

"Look, Sehun," I began, after he'd waved the family to the path. "I know this is awkward."

"Awkward?" he replied, shaking that strand out of his face. "Why, because I basically declared my undying love for you and you walked away, never to be seen again until, well, now? How is that awkward?"

This was a lot to hear at once, so it took me a second to understand. Finally I said, "You didn't declare your undying love. You asked me about Jongsuk."

"I was working up to it," he replied. "I had to apologize first. I was processing the information I'd just heard."

"Sehun -"

"It was a two-pronged approach," he continued. "I didn't think you'd take off before I had the chance to finish."

"Two-pronged?" I said. "You're making it sound like a utensil."

"Why didn't you tell me it wasn't a bad breakup you were healing from?" he demanded. "I didn't know what I was up against. I had no idea what you needed."

"It's not your job to give me what I need," I said. "And -"

"Excuse me, is the reception in this building?" a man asked from behind us.

"Around back," Sehun said immediately, jabbing a finger. The man, looking apologetic, hurried off.

"Don't take this out on the guest," I said. "It's me you're mad at, remember?"

"But that's the thing, Suzy. I'm not." He sighed, shaking his head. "Look. I know this isn't the time or place for this, but I'm going to say it anyway. I liked you from the start. Okay? That first day, my mom's wedding, when you grabbed me and dragged me inside, that was the beginning for me. It's why I asked you to dance. It's why I went out on the dance floor at the stupid party when Elf was touching you. It's why I did everything: the job, the bet, all of it. If I won, I was going to pick me for your next date, even if I was supposed to still be with someone else. I figured if there was no other way, then you'd give me a chance."

I blinked, trying to process this. "But you were so into Tzuyu."

"She was - is - great," he said. "And we had a couple of great, epic nights together. But it was you I looked forward to seeing every day, you I wanted to hang out with even when this job was boring and stressful. I just didn't know how to tell you, until that night at the store when you said we were friends and you wanted me to be happy."

"You knew we were friends," I said softly.

"I hoped we were," he replied. More cars were coming into the lot now, the bulk of the guest arriving. "When you said it, though, I saw a chance. Like an opening, big enough to wriggle through. That's what I told Gayeon, at the truck, that I'd been crazy about you all summer, but I knew you'd been hurt and wanted to be careful, to do things right. And she said it would be hard to compete with Jongsuk, for all kinds of reasons, so I should just be myself. I didn't get what she meant. So I asked her to explain."

Again, Jongsuk was there with us. It was like I could feel it. "I loved him so much," I said. "No one can ever understand what losing him was like."

"That's the thing, though." He let out a breath, looking down. "I wasn't trying to get what it was about him. I just felt that finally, maybe, I was starting to understand you."

Omo, I thought, and just as suddenly felt a pang of fear, a reaction to this idea of opening myself up again to all the things that could then hurt me. Lightning didn't strike twice, except when it did. How could I allow myself back into that place of sunset walks and now and for the last time without expecting what had already followed? It was scarier than anything. Except maybe not doing it, at all.

"Excuse me -"

"Around back!" Sehun hollered, turning to face the crowd making its way from the lot. "The reception is in the backyard!"

"You're yelling at the guests," I said quietly.

"Sorry!" he shouted. Then looked at me again, his face serious. "I wish you had stayed there, in front of me, that night. That you hadn't taken off."

I wish for a lot of things, I wanted to say, and yet I'd told him otherwise, and now it seemed wrong to change my mind. "But I did. And now . . ."

I didn't finish the sentence, and he didn't either. We just stood there, guests walking past, following the crowd ahead of them in, finally, the proper direction. In the night there would be dancing dogs, skateboarders, giddy toast, and teary good-byes. All of this ahead, yet to unfold. Beginnings were always the best.

"I'm sorry," I said to him. "About not telling you. And leaving. And everything else."

"I'm sorry, too," he replied. He swallowed, looking at the lot. "Next time I'll know to say how I feel first. Not bury the lead."

"And I," I added, "will be upfront about the things that really matter. No surprises."

We looked at each other again. A man in a bow tie behind Sehun stopped, looking around him, then started to follow the path, going the right way.

"Well," he said after a moment. "The good news is we will be really good to whomever we date next. You're welcome."

"Right back at you," I said, then smiled. "Take care, Sehun."

"You, too," he replied. "Bye, Suzy."

Then I walked away, across the lot to my car, and that was that. A proper good-bye. No one running away or leaving angry. No yelling or sudden, shattering disappearances, with everything left unfinished. It was new for me, as so much had been with Sehun from the start, and it felt like this should make me feel better, more at peace. But as I climbed behind the wheel, I began to cry.

After all that, I needed something before seeing Mark. I decided it was coffee.

Sooji's Cafe was quieter in the evening, and luckily Kyungsoo wasn't working. There wasn't even a line. But Phone Lady was still there, at a table for one, talking away.

"Tall latte with extra whipped cream," I told the barista, an Hispanic girl with a cute pixie cut. As she nodded, turning to start making it, I decided I'd have an donut, too. You want what you want, and sometimes, it's sugar.

"That's just the thing," I could hear Phone Lady saying, her voice louder than ever in the less crowded space. "I never thought I would be dealing with all this. I had everything worked out, down to the minute. Yeah. Best plans . . ."

I looked at the clock: it was just after seven. I was supposed to go by his workplace to pick up Mark, and then we'd head to dinner with some of his friends before going to another party. Normally I liked the idea of a whole night still ahead of me. but right now, I felt tired. And Phone Lady was still talking.

"No, I'm thinking I need to focus on me. You know, self-care. Everything's been so hard lately, and I just can't devote time to another person. Right?"

The pixie barista turned back to me, sliding my cup across the counter. I was just about to ask for that donut when the door banged open. A group of women in workout clothes came in, talking at once.

"Anything else," she asked me.

"Um, no," I said, looking behind me. Too many people in too small a place - the donut could wait. "Just this."

As she rang me up, the door opened again and more women in workout attire entered, clearly from the same place. Distantly, I could still hear Phone Lady, which meant she had to be practically shouting.

I paid for my drink, grabbing a lid, and started making my way to the door through the ladies lining up. Despite my efforts, someone bumped me from behind just as I was passing Phone Lady's table, sending me stumbling into the back of her chair. When It hit it, she jumped forward, her phone falling from her grip and falling across the floor.

"Oh, man, sorry," I said, putting down my drink on an nearby table and picking it up. "That was all my fault."

"It's okay, I'll get it," she said quickly, right on my heels.

"No, let me," I said. "It's the least I can do."

She was still behind me, though, as I reached the phone, bending down to pick it up. "Don't . . ." she said.

I knew the second I held it in my hand something was weird. It wasn't just the screen, cracked, black and dead, or the way it felt cold in my hand. You can just tell when something doesn't work, or never did. All that talking, all those days. But no one was ever there on the other end.

She was still standing right behind me, close enough that I could feel her breath on my back before I slowly turned around. "Here," I said quietly, holing it out to her. "Sorry again."

"It's fine," she said, grabbing it from me. "Don't worry about it."

And then she was walking away, back to her table, her dead phone in her hand. Maybe she put it back to her ear right way, or waited until I was gone. I wouldn't know. I was too sad to look.