Real quick I don't think I wrote it terrible enough to need a trigger warning but yea, a small depiction of r ape in this chapter. Starts halfway down.

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I feel gross, it's terrible.

Why did this happen?

I just want to cry.

I'm scared.

I don't even want to write about it, I don't want to remember it.

But I have to.

I must learn to not let this happen again.

I'm so weak.

I hate myself.

Eunha saved me, and I love her and all but right now all I can feel is fear.

I've taken five showers since I woke up this morning, but I can't get rid of this disgusting feeling. Help me.

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Nayeon closed the diary and carefully slipped it back in it's hiding place. She sighed, she had managed to stop Sowon from scrubbing her skin off and she knew that her best friend proabably wouldn't like it if she left her alone in the dorm, so she called Eunha.

"Eunha will be coming over later, I need to go to an exam. You're exam is postponed but mine can't."

Sowon didn't respond, she sat facing the wall on her bed, she didn't seem to take note of anything around her. She didn't know when Nayeon took her diary to read what she was shakily writing earlier and currently didn't know that her roommmate moved closer.

Only when the bed dipped a bit did Sowon move, she jerked away from Nayeon and nearly knocked her head on the wall. Luckily, Nayeon's hand shot out and caught her head before it happened. As the recognition in Sowon's eyes showed, she clung to Nayeon tightly, shaking.

"Shhh, think of happy things. What did you talk to Eunha about?"

Nayeon handed Sowon her diary and Sowon quickly cracked it open writing in a shaky manner as if to record ervything as fast as possible to not forget the happy moments.

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Um, happy moments. Ah.

When I was nearly cornered the first time by th-that monster, Eunha saved me. He was trying to make me attend a party at his place and I really didn't want to go but he kept insisting. Eunha interrupted and grabbed my arm.

"Oh? Sowon unnie?"

Sowon turned around.

"Ah, Eunha yah, why are you here?"

"I came to find you."

Eunha twisted her hands together. Ah, she'e so cute when she twists her hands, its like she's doing something wrong and is nervous about telliing the truth.

"Oh? What do you need me for?"

"It's nothing?"

Sowon smiled grabbing Eunha's nervous hands.

"What is it? You're so cute nervous like this."

"I-"

Eunha stuttered and stopped. Sowon encouraged her with a warm smile. Come on Eunha! Think of something! Anything!!

"Hm?"

"I-I, because I missed you!"

Eh? She missed me? Kyaaaaaaaaa so cute! I can't contain!

"Awwwww You're so cute! That's the first time you've admitted any affection to me! Come here you! Tell me again!"

I hugged her so tightly. She was so warm, I love hugging her. Happy thoughts Sowon ah.

Jongmin left when Eunha arrived, its like a charm to keep him away.

"Tell me again you cutie! Come on, please? I missed you, just those three words?"

Eunha blushed, her face turning a light pink. Gosh, I really just want to squish these cheeks and give her another kiss but no! I was to stick to the plan. I'll hold back for this week. I'll ask her out next week.

"U-unnie let m-me down please?"

"No! Not till you give me affection!"

"I-I I love you?"

Sowon giggled and swung Eunha around one more time.

"Yes! Gosh I love you so much, you little cutie!"

"I'm not little."

She totally just said I love you kyahaha! Just wait a little longer my Eunbi.

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I need to face my fears. I'll tell you what happened. I know I don't stutter when I write but if I were to tell you, I'm afraid my voice would give out first. WE were walking to class together, Eunha and I. He came and asked to walk together, that was a simple request so why not I thought. I was so wrong.

When we passed Eunha's hall, I tried not to let Eunha notice that it was her hall but he noticed and called her out.

"Oh? Little one, isn't this your stop."

Darn, well it would be selfish to keep Eunha from her classes so I let her go. In her eyes I saw a bit of longing? She didn't want to leave em either, whilst I was on that little high from seeing Eunha wanting to be with me, I must have not paid much attention.

When I realized we weren't going to my classroom it was too late.

He grabbed my arms and forced me against the wall.

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"You wench!"

Jongmin slapped Sowon's face as the rest of his gang gathered aroound.

"Hey so we're just going to do it here? In broad daylight? She's not even drunk."

"Shut up, she's going to be in for the full course of terror. You've wasted way too much of my time Kim Sojung."

He slapped Sowon again, her tears staining her cheeks.

"S-stop."

He laughed once and turned away for a second before turning back quickly and pulled apart her button up shirt, popping the buttons.

"Give me a knife."

One of his lackeys put one in his hand and he trailed it from under Sowon's chin, down and lower.

"SOWON UNNIE!"

"Yah, her friend's here."

"! Grab her too , we'll just have two instead of one."

Sowon saw Eunha in the corner of her eye as Eunha ran and jumped into the air kicking Jongmin in the side.

"YOU BASTARDSSSS!!!!"

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After that, Nayeon came with some adults and the incident was over. I was taken to the nurse's office. Then I was let back to my dorm and now here I am, afraid of my  own thoughts.

Sojung

Please help me.

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Omg I want to cry why did I ever write this

also you don't remember the kiss because the last story was in Eunha's pov and she didn't remember what happened when she was drunk.