When you moved across oceans to a country where you barely spoke the language when you were barely a teenager, you grew a thick skin and the ability to build a wall around yourself. Even the socially outgoing f(x) rapper who made it a point to go out of the way to make everyone around her comfortable, at work and play, could be extremely guarded on occasion.

The young woman wasn’t one who easily wore her heart on the sleeve, except this time she seemed to be derailed by the maknae of one of the most popular music groups in the world.

“Amber, are you OK?”

Victoria’s voice rang through the cloud that seemed to surround the American lately. 

“Yes.” Amber forced herself to concentrate on the topic at hand - ignoring the curious looks from her f(x) members. Before each SM Town concert, each group had their own individual meeting before the rehearsals and everyone present in the small hair and makeup room could tell that the normally enthusiastic woman’s mind was elsewhere.

No. She wasn’t fine. But there was nothing the girls could do or say to make her reveal the reason why. Since the short talk with Junmyeon, she had been avoiding Sehun, like the plague. It killed her to ignore his texts and even calls. There were occasions she deliberately left her mobile phone in another room or even in the van so she couldn’t be reached in real time. When one text arrived, all accusatory - “Why are you ignoring me?” - Amber had to delete the text straight away so she would not obsess over it.

But she couldn’t let Oh Sehun play her like that.

Now that they were in Japan for the concerts, all her energy was focused on forcing herself to act all aloft when that particular maknae was in the vicinity that Amber was not her usual bubbly self. Except she didn’t realise that everyone else could tell that something was off.

“Are you alright?” Sunyoung came up to her, linking arms, at the end of the main rehearsal where all the SM Town artists were on stage, for the finale song. 

Slightly annoyed by the unwanted concern, Amber was running out of excuses to defend herself, when out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the one person she didn’t want to see. Twirling the f(x) singer around to another direction, she moved them away from the EXO maknae who was lurking at their far left.

Running from her current demon and right into Minho. Sunyoung passed the rapper on to the other. By auto-pilot Amber felt herself break into a smile that she didn’t feel. As they walked around the stage, waving t