I will not give you up this time

Bo Gum often had to remind himself that he ought to be professional, as she clearly was, and focus on the character he had to play. But it was hard, probably the hardest thing he’d ever had to do as an actor: to put his feelings aside for the sake of what he should portray on screen.

Even so, he caught himself giving in just a little bit when he was acting as Lee Yeong. Yes, the Crown Prince was in love with Ra On, right? Showing his true feelings could only be good for his character. This was the time for him to stare into her eyes, hug her tightly and love her as he wished he could do in real life without fear of rumors starting or without fear of her rejecting him.

That was the thought that hurt him the most, and that held him back the most, as well. Above all, he felt utmost respect for her, and would never do anything to hurt her or make her feel uncomfortable. What if she didn’t feel the same? What if, indeed, she only saw him as a friend, as an Oppa, but not as someone she’d want to be with?

Still, he had their scenes together. He could feel his ears getting red and his heart pounding every time their faces were close, or every time they touched, but he loved being close to her more than anything. Even if it was hard from him to separate Bo Gum, the actor, and Lee Yeong, the character, he gave in to his feelings and allowed them to fuel the honest passion he felt when he was with Yoo Jung. And sometimes, he even had the chance to say exactly what was on his mind.

“Yoo Jung-ah, can I tell you a secret?” She looked up at him with her big eyes wide open and nodded. “This is one of my favorite scenes.”

They had just wrapped up filming the final scene for episode 5, and they were both still in costume, waiting for final directions from the crew.

“Ah yes, Oppa! I love it too!” She smiled brightly. “I love how the Crown Prince gives his wish to eunuch Hong and then they send off the lamp together. It made me want to cry.”

“Ani, baboya!” He laughed. “I mean the last scene! With Jin Young hyung. I love that line.” He changed his expression and got into character.  “‘Bulheohanda. Nae saramida’.”

Yoo Jung giggled at his sudden seriousness. He went back to being himself and smiled like a young boy.

“It’s my favorite line, Yoo Jung-ah! Ah, it just sounds like something a man in love would say, right?” They laughed together.

“I believe it will become a very popular line, Oppa. Boyfriends will quote it and say it to their girlfriends all the time. Ah, if you think of it, it’s a very romantic thing to say. I’m sure it will be one of the most famous lines from Gureumi!”

“Then one day I’ll say it to you, just to tease you. I’ll say it in public, so that everyone can hear!”

He meant it half as a joke and half as an honest promise. He actually craved for a time when he could tell the whole world that she was his person.

“Ne, sure, you do that, Oppa!” She laughed heartily at his empty threat.

“Oh? You’re mocking me? Is this a dare now?” Bo Gum looked at his dongsaeng with an amused look, surprised at her nerve.

“Maybe.” Yoo Jung just shrugged mischievously and smiled.

Bo Gum looked at her for a while and bit his lip. Yes, he would tell her.

“Come! There’s something I want to show you.” He grabbed her hand and led her all the way to the dressing room, where he had his cellphone. They sat together, side by side, and Bo Gum handed her the earphones.

“Mwo? What is this, Oppa?” Yoo Jung looked puzzled.

“Put them on. There’s something I want you to hear.”

“Ne, Oppa. Whatever you say.” She happily sat back and put one of the earphones, then she handed the other one to Bo Gum. “You too, Oppa, come listen with me.”

His heart jumped with joy as he smiled and sat right next to her, close enough for them to share the earphones. Yoo Jung leaned on him a little bit, probably tired from the long hours of filming, as he pressed play and looked down at her face. He wanted to see her reaction.

It only took her a few seconds to realize what she was listening to.

“Oppa! This is your voice! Are you the one singing?” She looked at him with her eyes wide open and a delighted expression on her face.

He nodded with a shy smile.

“Do you like it, Yoo Jung-ah?”

“Daebak! Oppa, I didn’t know you sang so well. Now that I think of it, I’ve never heard you singing professionally.” She looked up at him, her eyes shining and her smile as big as ever. “I love it.”

Bo Gum felt his ears getting red. “Gomawo, Yoo Jung-ah. It really means a lot coming from you”. He paused. She was still looking at him in awe, as she listened intently to the rest of the song. “It’s for the drama. They wrote it from Lee Yeong’s point of view and asked me to sing it. The real recording will take place in a few weeks from now, that one is just a demo. It’s still a secret, nobody knows.” He paused. “But I wanted you to listen to it.”

He smiled down at her, lovingly. The song had finished and he gently removed the earphone from her ear, lightly brushing her cheek in the process. She didn’t flinch or move, so he took a chance and cupped her face in his hand. She leaned into him and smiled. He caressed her cheek with his thumb one more time, before realizing what he was doing. Bo Gum gulped, caught up in the moment, and Yoo Jung broke the silence.

“What’s the name of the song, Oppa?”

He smiled and relaxed again. He was waiting for her to ask.

“My Person.”

She smiled warmly and looked up at him. The look in her eyes was somewhat different, and Bo Gum couldn’t help but wonder, once again, if she was feeling the same way as him.

“It’s perfect”.