I see my future in your eyes

How could people be so cruel?

Bo Gum sat down in his living room couch as he waited for his manager to come pick him up. He was dressed up and ready for what was supposed to be, so far, one of the most important nights of his career...of their career. But she wasn’t going to be there.

“Why, Lord? Why her?” He prayed desperately as he held his face between his hands. “Please, help me understand.”

He knew Yoo Jung was still in the hospital, but she wasn’t allowed any visitors yet. After she was admitted, they’d talked once through Kakao, but then the doctors took away her phone so she would be able to rest better and they hadn’t spoken since. It had already been three days without them talking to each other, and it was the longest time they’d spent without speaking or seeing each other since the day they’d met. Even after they’d wrapped up filming, they still messaged each other almost every day. Bo Gum knew she was getting better because her manager constantly updated him on her status, but still, it wasn’t like being able to talk to her, to hold her, and to see her smile.

He felt a pang in his heart as he remembered the night he found out she’d been hospitalized for the second time. He was returning home from a CF filming, feeling like something was off. Yoo Jung hadn’t sent him any Kakao messages since the night before, when she’d told him she wasn’t feeling very well and that all the things people were saying about her were, for once, getting to her.

“Yoo Jung-ah, please don’t be sad. You and I both know all those things aren’t true.” He’d written back then. Her reply had taken a couple of minutes.

“I know, Oppa. But I just can’t help but feel sad because people have turned their backs on me like this. I’ve always worked so hard and feel like this isn’t fair. I’m just sad.”

“Of course it isn’t fair, Yoo Jung-ah. You deserve much better. You deserve every wonderful thing in the world. Please never forget that.”

“Gomawo, Oppa. You’re so nice. I’ll go sleep now, I’m very tired.”

“Ne, Yoo Jung-ah. Try to rest and sleep well. Please write tomorrow so I know that you’re okay. I’ll be thinking of you.”  

But she hadn’t replied anything during the day. It was almost midnight and he was in the car with his manager when the latter got a call.

“Yeoboseyo.” Silence. “Ne? What do you mean?” More silence. “But is she ok? Ne, I’ll let him know.” His manager turned around to look at Bo Gum, who was in the back seat. “Bo Gum-ah, something’s happened. It’s about Yoo Jung.”

The following minutes were a blur. Next thing he knew, Bo Gum was standing in the hospital lobby, politely but firmly asking about Yoo Jung. Yoo Jung’s manager quickly came up to him and told him what had happened. She wasn’t allowed any visitors, so he had no choice but to go back home, feeling lonely and defeated. He hadn’t been able to be there for her, he hadn’t been able to help her. He wanted to give her the whole world, but he wasn’t even able to shield her from the nasty blows people threw at her.

Even before she suffered from a shock attack, he’d been keeping track of the hideous comments netizens had given Yoo Jung, all the hell they made her go through just for a silly mistake. He’d never witnessed such cruelty in humanity. Him, who wholeheartedly believed in the good in people, and who had seen all the love fans had showered them with, couldn’t believe those anti-fans could be so mean. So horrible. To his beautiful, wonderful Yoo Jung. To her, who only wanted to make people laugh and be happy. Her, who was the kindest, most caring person he’d ever encountered. Her, who was the light of his life and the center of his world, even if she didn’t know it yet. Yoo Jung, the only girl he wanted by his side for the rest of his life.

How could people do this to her?

He opened his KakaoTalk and read back their last messages.

“Oppa. I guess you already know I’m in the hospital. Eomma told me you came by but they wouldn’t let you in. Mianhae. I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Yoo Jung-ah, are you ok? Are you feeling better? That’s all I care about, really. It’s ok if we can’t see each other yet, I just want you to feel happy again.”

“Ne, Oppa. I am feeling much better :)” The smiley face had made Bo Gum sigh in relief. If she was using emojis again, then yes, she was slowly going back to her old self. 

“Ok then :) Don’t you worry about anything, ne? Focus on resting. I’ll visit you as soon as you’re allowed to receive visitors. Yagsog.”

“Ne, Oppa! I trust you. Good night.”

“Sleep well, Yoo Jung-ah.”

He put away his phone and stared at the ceiling. God, he missed her so much. This was supposed to be a night for them to shine together… Ever since MDBC ended, they hadn’t had much time to be together, let alone in public. Yes, they talked on the phone, but he wanted so much to hold her hand, to see how beautiful she looked all dressed up and ready for the awards, to smile at her and even though he knew he mustn’t be too obvious regarding his feelings for her. Most of all… He wanted to be with her to receive their Best Couple award. He didn’t even care about winning Best Actor, he just wanted to share an award with her. Yoo Jung deserved all this success even more than he did.

Suddenly his phone rang, pulling him away from his thoughts.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Bo Gum-ah, come out. I’m with the car outside, are you ready?”

“Ne. I’ll be right out. Kamsahamnida, manager Hyung.” He sighed. He didn’t feel like it, but he still had to go, for the both of them.

“Aish, Park Bo Gum”. He scolded himself. “You’re an actor, right? Then act. Act like you’re the happiest today. Don’t think about her right now.”

And so he did.