Dear Donghyun,

This is your hyung, Youngmin hyung. You will probably never read this but it is okay, I have never intended to show this to you anyway. This is the first letter but God knows how many letters I have written to you in my heart and mind already, yes that is how much I feel for you, and how much I adore you.

Donghyun, you are such an amazing person and I wish I could tell you that you are my source of support in times of trouble, no actually, all the time.

Before we went on Produce 101 together, I honestly doubted myself. I am a 95’ liner, and that means that I am already 23. I seriously wondered if I should enter the show or to enlist in the army instead. I did not say this to anyone but it was as if you understood what I was worried about. That night, I remembered you climbed onto my bed and held by hands. You didn’t say anything at first and let me think alone for a while. At that moment, my heart thumped really quickly against my chest. When you finally settled yourself, I remembered your words. Those words are the ones that brought me to where I am today, and I don’t regret my decision to join the show. You said, “Youngmin hyung-ah, I am not anyone to tell you what to do with your life but I hope you give your dreams a chance. I know that so many people will tell you the same so maybe you might want to ignore whatever I have to say to you. But I feel that if I don’t say this, I may regret it forever. Hyung, it is never too late to chase for your dreams. You may have waited for a long time but hyung, efforts will never betray us. It’s up to you but I hope you choose what is really right for you and not for others. No matter what, I will support your final decision.”, and with that, you left the bed again for me to decide.

In the end, I went on the show and I remembered being nervous. We are going to compete with so many other trainees and that is a challenge in itself. When we sat on those chairs, my knees were still trembling but you made sure to keep me busy with your cute nonsense. We pulled off our performance really well though I’m sure we were filled with a bit of regret. While the two younger members got As, we got Bs but I was okay with that because I had you.

Soon, we met Sewoon and Gwanghyun in the B training room and we supported each other. Our YoungDongPo crew ended up being in the same team and no word could describe my happiness. You were still with me and that is all that matters. I knew the choreography to ‘Be Mine’ and I thought passing my knowledge would be easy, only to realise that there were only challenges ahead of me. Teaching Sungwoo hy