Chapter 16

Hwayoung genuinely had no idea what Kyungsoo wanted to do, but he was already so far away that she couldn’t really tell him that she didn’t want to go with him because he wouldn’t hear (she would wake up Baekhyun and Soyi if she yelled), and simply not going seemed to be a little rude, even if he were Kyungsoo. Going as fast as her ankle let her, she limped into the forest after him, making sure she didn’t put too much weight on the injured foot.

Kyungsoo was waiting for her a little bit past the clearing, a silhouette in the faint light of the moon. He stood with his arms crossed, not saying a word when she caught up with him.

“What are you doing?” she asked in a hushed whisper. They were far enough from the clearing to talk in a normal voice, but for some reason, it felt as if the silence of the forest was too fragile to disrupt. There was also the feeling that, in such silence, any noise would be loud, and while they were technically safe, Hwayoung could never brush off the feeling that she was being watched or chased. It was second nature at that point, and she wasn’t sure if she would ever be rid of it.

Kyungsoo shrugged. “Taking a walk,” he replied. “I’m not really tired.”

“I can see that,” she replied drily. “But why did you call me too?”

“There’s no more dragons left, so I think Baekhyun and Soyi should be fine there on their own,” he replied simply.

“That would be a reason why you would go off on your own when all three of us were sleeping, but that’s not enough of a reason as to why you called me to go with you when it’s pretty clear that—” She broke off. That—the words were on the tip of her tongue, really—it’s pretty clear that you don’t like me, it’s pretty clear that we don’t really get along when we talk. Still, none of them seemed to fit, even though they should’ve, really, and Hwayoung couldn’t make herself say it again.

“That what?” Kyungsoo asked.

She bit her lip. “Nothing. Never mind.”

He watched her wordlessly for a couple moments before nodding at the forest. “Let’s go. I want to go see the stream in the moonlight.”

It was such a strange request that Hwayoung did a double take at him. Part of her wanted to reject the request just to spite him, like normal (because admittedly, it was fun getting a reaction out of Kyungsoo because she would always get one as long as she pushed the right buttons), but it definitely didn’t seem like the time. Besides, she wasn’t really tired anymore again, and something about his quietness felt a little bit different than usual. Limping to catch up with him, Hwayoung started through the forest next to Kyungsoo, both of them shrouded in silence.

He walked slowly, most likely deliberate, and the speed was enough for her to adjust it so that most of her weight was left to her uninjured foot. They remained that way for the longest time, both silent. The moonlight filtered through through the dense canopy, not nearly enough for her to see properly, and Hwayoung sent a breeze out in front of her, searching the ground for any obstacles or tree roots. If Kyungsoo sensed her power, he didn’t say anything about it.

It was a while later when she heard the trickle of the creek again in the distance. There was the occasional hoot of an owl amidst the silence, but apart from the rustling of the leaves and the whisper of the water, there was no other sounds.

The water gradually got louder though. Not long after, the trees thinned out to reveal the creek, the bed of rocks at the side. Without another word, Kyungsoo quickened, moving towards the waterside.

Hwayoung watched. She couldn’t go much faster, though there wasn’t anywhere to go anyway. Through the line of branches, she could see him approaching the water, crouched, a black silhouette against the water and moonlight.

The water was a pretty sight, admittedly, in the dim light of the moon. It wasn’t like the sun, but instead, a more silver color, reflecting like it was an ever-shifting layer of glass. She could see why Kyungsoo wanted to see it, though at the same time, it wasn’t a sight that was… pretty enough for her to consider anything special.

He didn’t look away from the water when Hwayoung joined him at the side of the creek, sitting down on a flat slab of rock. For a while, she just listened to the water rush by, leaving Kyungsoo in whatever world it was that he seemed lost in, and then, too tempted not to, Hwayoung looked at him.

It felt like a strangely personal moment that she was intruding on, though she didn’t know why. There was a distant look in his eyes as he stared at the water, like he was there but not wholly. Wistful, too, strangely vulnerable—so much so that Hwayoung glanced away as soon as it hit her.

“Why did you come here?” she finally asked. It came out as barely a whisper. Still, her words felt loud, and they seemed to snap Kyungsoo out of his reverie as he straightened, blinking a couple of times before he sat down too.

He seemed to be thinking about an answer before he spoke. “My mother used to bring me to look at the moonlight on water all the time when I was younger. And then she would sing to me. But it was only in the palace gardens, so I wanted to see what it looked like when it was…when it was like this.”

The queen. His voice was fond when he spoke of her—Hwayoung could remember a couple of times he had mentioned her, and she seemed to be the one person in the palace that he actually missed—but she still hadn’t quite figured out his relationship with his mother yet. It didn’t seem to be her place to ask, though, so she turned her eyes to the water too. “So which one is better? The palace, or this?”

Kyungsoo looked uncertain. “I don’t know,” he admitted, then he turned to her. “Do you ever feel lost?”

Hwayoung blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Do you ever feel lost?” he repeated. “You’ve been working to kill my brother for so long, so I suppose you’ve always had some sort of motivation. But did you ever wonder what the point was?”

“The point was to avenge all the people he’s killed. For my brother and my parents.”

“That’s what I thought,” he murmured back. He gave a slight laugh, though it was half hearted, only reminiscent of someone who used to be able to laugh without any hint of bitterness. “I just…”

Again, she felt like an intruder. This didn’t feel like the Do Kyungsoo she knew, and neither could Hwayoung figure out why he saying what he was. It didn’t seem right, especially in front of her, when all their conversations seemed to always end off in bickering or taunting. She wasn’t supposed to see him like this—after all, he’d been so guarded—but here was that vulnerability, an openness she couldn’t understand why he’d show to her.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo finally murmured. “Do you ever wonder why it ended up like this?”

“Like what?”

“How did my brother end up the way he is now?” Kyungsoo lifted his hand, and Hwayoung watched as a rock hovered, a little bit above his palm, before he tossed it towards the creek with his power. “What went wrong? When we were younger, he wasn’t that way. He wouldn’t even let me step on bugs. And now he turned into someone like… that. What went wrong along the way?”

Hwayoung didn’t answer. She couldn’t imagine what it had been like, really, because all she knew about the crown prince was that he was a murderer, a villain. He’d killed her family. It was because of him Sehun was dead. But Kyungsoo knew someone much more than just that; he recognized those semblances of the past too, pieces that no one else would even bother thinking about. What was it like knowing that of his brother, but at the same time, also knowing that the only thing he could do was kill him because the past was long gone?

“We all grow up,” she replied. “Sehun used to tell on me when I threw a fit after he pulled my pigtails to avoid getting in trouble. Three years later he was killing palace guards because it was the only way to survive.”

Kyungsoo didn’t exactly look convinced. His gaze was still distant, staring off somewhere that Hwayoung couldn’t see, and she didn’t know if he was thinking about what she had said or completely lost somewhere else, where his brother wasn’t the cold-hearted murderer everyone knew him was and where the rumors of him hadn’t surfaced yet, when he hadn’t been looked down for being a bastard child, something totally and utterly out of his control.

“I guess you’re right,” he finally managed. “Growing up. That’s what happened.”

It didn’t really sound like he fully believed or knew what he was saying, but Hwayoung didn’t comment anymore. There was a certain type of quietness around Kyungsoo that told her he didn’t really want to be disturbed, and it was something she recognized too. Maybe everything had been too hectic to really catch up to him—he always spoke of his brother wistfully, so he must’ve had a big reason to try to kill him in such a way—but finally, with a chance to quiet down and rest, it wasn’t surprising that everything had dawned on him so long after.

Hwayoung lost track of time when they sat next to the water. He looked much younger in the moonlight, uncertain, as he stared at the shifting light reflected over the water. Just when she was about to suggest going back, Kyungsoo turned to look at her again.

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