I walk with heavy steps and head bend down make my fringe which is parted 5:5 (like H.O.T, my favourite group hair style) cover half of my face.. I walk toward our singing class.. Each step I take feel heavier than the previous step.. I used to really like that place, but now it's just feel like hell to me.. As I walk in, I can hear other people start wishpering.. "Why this boy still come to here?, his voice is terrible" or "look at that gollum like voice boy", and many other bad word which is directed to me. And although I don't look at any of them I can feel the disgusted stare and some pitiful stare directed to me. I want the floor to swallow myself litteraly.. Yes, it's me who they are wishpering about, it's me who they look with that pitiful eyes. But I can't balme them.. Sometimes, I also wonder why I still come to here when I CAN'T SING.. Okay, maybe I can sing.. No, to be exact I could sang a long time ago, over 3 years ago when my voice is still high and smooth, but because something that called puberty everything is changed.. That puberty thingy make my voice become hoarse.. Everyone even find my talking is difficult to understand.. Doctors even find it's strange that my voice is still this even after years passed already while normally the longest just about a mont.. Sigh.. I don't know what I did to deserve something like this.. I always go to church, pray for God everyday, be obedient to my parents, I am a good child you know.. I admit I like tease my friends a lot, but I never really hurt them.. "Hey, can you all mind your own bussiness!!.." Suddenly I heard voice that very familiar to my ears. How come I do not know who that voice is belong to when I partically spent almost my life with him. That handsome monkey like boy with plump lip and sharp jawline name Lee Hyukjae.. He grab my hand and glare at everyone.. If look can kill people I swear, at least everybody will collapse on the floor right now.. He is my bestest friends and always by myside whenever I'm in trouble. You can see, he is the only one who protect me when everyone is making fun of me.. I am very fortunate to have him as my bestfriend.. He always stick to me, make me feel more comfortable even in this condition.. But, you know.. I always feel guilty for him. Why?. Actually me and him 3 years ago before that puberty thing come to me, will have our debut as a group. Hyukjae is a good dancer and rapper. But that idea canceled after my voice changed. And I always sad when I remember how happy he was when the company announced our debut and how sad those eyes when we know that debut canceled because of me. But when I go apology to him and blame myself he always shrug it off and tell me that "I think it's better like this, we can prepare betted. And actually I am not ready to debut yet. I can't sing like you yet. Just wait when we debut later my voice will be more heavenly than your voice" That's what he said to me.. To hell.. He will never defeat me, because I will get my voice back soon.. I hope so.. Now back to the reallity. "It's okay hyujkae ah.." I tell him, don't want him to start fight with them. "But, they are so insensitive. How if it happen to them. They cannot consider other people feeling." "It's okay.. I don't really mind" altough seriously I really mind it. But there is no need to tell him that right. "Hyukjae ah, why are you late?" I quickly change the topic. "Ya! I You just come a minute earlier then me. How come you ask me if I'm late" "Ops.. sorry" I cover my mouth and giggle although with this voice I sure it's sound horrible to ear. Actually I really thought I already come to this place a long time ago. I guess come to place where all people is wishpering and staring and you make you feel the time is move very slowly. "Okay, now attention everybody!" A woman in her early thirty with pair of glass, long sleeve shirt and black pencil skirt clap her hand 3 times to make everyone focus on her. Everyone stop their chit-chat. After geting all the attention she start to talk "Now I want you to sing this song" She give us a sheet of paper. " I want to see your improvement and do your best. Oh, I almost forgot, today we have our new trainee." She said and call the new trainee to come in.. The new trainee is has fair skin, big eyes, plump lips and sharp nose.. He wear white t-shirt and ripped jeans. And he looks cold.. Brrrr.. But just hearing his voice I know he will be a great singer. "Hei.. My name is Kim Jaejoong.. I am from Chungnam.." He said with that cold ekspression on his face. He looks scary to me you know. But somewhere in my heart I know there is something that attracted me to him. Not in lovey dovey way, eventhough I admit he is quite pretty.. But I am also ever win beauty contest with Hyukjae at second place.. Hehehe.. It's mean I'm pretty and more importantly I am prettier than Hyukjae.. Hahaha.. No.. No.. Kim Junsu.. You are Handsome not pretty.. Hahaha.. Okay now I feel like an Idiot for having this thought. The new trainee walk to the far back, where I am also sit, but at different corner.. Our music teacher then aproach me and handing the sheet of music to me. "Junsu ah, learn this song okay. You don't need to sing infront. Just watch your friends carefully and learn from it" The teacher say softly to me while pat my shoulder and look at me sympathetically.. I am one of her favourite student afterall, and to look at me in this situation must be made her sad to. I nod my head and turn my focus on the paper don't want to look at the teacher or hyukjae who is sitting beside me. I watch all my friends take turn to sing.. Some is good enough, but the teacher isn't pleased at all. No one.. No one get praise, all they got is comment like "Just like this..", "Don't you get what I teach you?" or worse "How come they accept you as trainee?" which is I find pretty harsh even if it's not directed to me.. Mrs. Kang (her name) is really strict in this you know.. I swear, some girls even have tears b in their eyes hearing her harsh comment.. I want to sing to.. Looking other people can sing while I can't make me feel somehow depressed.. Hyukjae who is sitting beside me tap my shoulder.. Maybe he know what I feel right now, he always know.. Although I doubt he really know how I feel right now because he isn't standing on my shoes.. But, still I really apreciate what he do to me.. He give me strength to stay strong.. I look at the clock which hung infront of the room.. The clock is ticking very slowly in my ears.. Feels like it's move in a slow motion.. Most to my grief.. Now is the new trainee turn. He seems uncoffident to me. When he finally sing his voice is as good as what I guess when I heard him speak or even better. His voice is soothing.. But his singing techniques is still lacking much.. But I'm sure a lot of practice will do it.. "Okay, because you are new here, so it's an understatement that your techniques is not good enough. I hope you can work hard on it" Mrs. Kang told him and he just nodding his head before walk back to where he sat before. "Tommorow we will learn new technique and this sheet is for you to bring home.. make sure to practice hard because by the end of this week you will sing this song again, and I want you all to be much better than today.. Okay?.. Now you can leave" With that the class end.. I get my bag and walk with Hyukjae beside me. He is talking with Leeteuk hyung. Leeteuk hyung is like a big brother for us.. Beside he is older than us, he always taking care of us by buy our snack (or actually forced too).. The three always walk to bus stop together.. As we walk our way to the class's door I can see the new trainee is looking at me.. maybe he is confused at why I don't sing when everyone is.. Well, who the hell joining singing class when he can't sing.. As soon as i arrive at my home, immediately I run to my own room, burried my head on my pillow.. Thinking of how pathetic I am.. How cruel is world to me.. I want to cry for help, but there is no one to help me.. Singing is my life, my voice is my soul.. And when I lost my voice I lost my soul too.. And right now all I can do is praying for God.. Asking Him to give my voice back.. While crying silent tears..