Walking helped. Walking really did help. Walking helped my head get a bit clearer. I put some things together, but I am still a bit in denial of them because I don’t want it to be true.
The very second I step into my apartment it feels like I am being suffocated. There is so much going on. Yixing is surprised, Jongdae seems to be gaming and screaming, music is on, the room is a mess.

‘Jimin,’ Yixing says with the biggest smile in the world plastered on his face. Jongdae is on the couch and seems fully recovered.
‘Could you turn off the music?’ I ask as I put my stuff away. He nods and rushes over to the stereo. Now all the sounds that are left are from the TV.
‘Jongdae, could you stop for a second?’ I ask, ‘We need to discuss some things.’

Baekhyun’s POV

‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ Luhan asks again, for the so maniest time today. I don’t know how he manages to keep asking.
‘Could you stop asking that?’ Jongin asks a bit annoyed, ‘Of course it’s a good idea.’
‘Why wouldn’t it be a good idea?’ Yixing asks a bit confused.
‘See, Yixing gets it,’ Jongin says, putting his arm around Yixing.
‘We’re just inviting her to spend some time with nine me while being on the brink of a breakdown,’ Sehun says sarcastically, ‘what could possibly go wrong?’
‘Quit it Sehun,’ Kyungsoo says annoyed, ‘we’re all worried about her but we need to evaluate how she’s actually doing. If she combusts, we are not the only ones who have to deal with it.’ I sit on the couch and listen to the whole scene playing out. How did we let it get this far? We know she attracts us, so why do we allow more and more people to come to her? We should protect her, no matter what it takes.
‘You okay Baek?’ Luhan says as he sits down next to me.
‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,’ I say quickly.
‘You miss Chanyeol, don’t you?’ he asks. I nod sadly and sag a little bit on the couch while staring at the ceiling.
‘I just don’t get how he’s still up there,’ I explain, ‘he promised me we’d stay together forever, but in the end we didn’t even fight side by side.’
‘I’m sure he has a good reason,’ Luhan says and puts his arm around me for comfort. I nod again.
‘Don’