Wonshik found himself seated in this half-decent couch, staring blankly across a wall that wasn’t covered with people's shadows. The room — a living room, seeing a television displaying a Xbox game in front of him — is dimly lit with orange lights and a disco ball hanging on the ceiling. People were everywhere, and he notices a group of people starting to dance. It wasn’t that crowded but he couldn’t breathe well in there.

He wasn’t planning to attend this house party, but Hongbin asked him to go since it’ll be the last time before university starts. When Wonshik asked who threw it, the younger explained that ‘he’s friends with this friend with this friend with the organizers’ and he was invited. “Also Yoongi told me that I could invite anyone else so I called you,” Hongbin added, “you could ask Seokjin hyung too!”

And so Wonshik asked Seokjin while he watching a cliché romantic movie on Netflix, at the same time Seokjin’s phone rang and Jaehwan also asked him to go to the party. “We need to get out to the outside world and rejoin civilization,” Seokjin said once he made up his mind a few minutes later.

Seokjin was whisked away by Hoseok and Taehyung when they found the siblings seated on the couch, so Wonshik was left behind. The red cup he is holding came from Hongbin and Sanghyuk, who were planning to make him wasted but he wasn’t down for anything alcoholic so the two handed him a cup of soda.

Wonshik couldn’t remember the last time he went to a party like this. It was just not his thing and he would rather do something productive than dance with strangers. While he should be used to this environment since he once performed at an underground club and the lights there were much worse, Wonshik still couldn’t adjust to the club lights and the crowds pushing against each other.

The music starts to amplify and the emitted bass is giving Wonshik a headache. Someone then grabbed his wrists and he was pulled up from the couch, exiting the house immediately. His eyes readjusted to the new environment: streetlights, a few people seated on the pavement and standing near the house, the person wearing a dark green shirt with orange and yellow and white splattered around it.

“You look like you’re going to die in there,” the voice, oddly familiar, says as he was being led to an unoccupied pavement. Wonshik grins and sits down once they reach it, “Thanks for the save Hakyeon hyung.”

“Anytime,” Hakyeon acknowledges as he also sits down. Wonshik then managed to look at his eldest friend: this shirt has a v-neck and it didn’t help Wonshik as his eyes kept on falling on his friend’s chest, and the skinny black pants defines his friend’s long legs. He had to remind himself to ask Hakyeon why he’s not accepting those modelling offers, but then again, he knew his friend loves music more than anything else.

“The house’s stuffy, if I were to be honest. Minhyuk sure knows how to throw a party, but the rooms are too crowded,” Hakyeon complains as he shifts to sit crisscrossed. Oh, Wonshik realizes as he hears Hakyeon rambling, but which Minhyuk…

Hakyeon chuckles as he notices his younger friend’s confused look, “Lee Minhyuk, Sungjae’s cousin? You met him.”

“Ah… that Minhyuk,” Wonshik remembers. He has met a lot of Minhyuks in his lifetime and it still confuses him who is who.

They sat in silence. The night sky is painted with dark blue, the moon in its full phase and a few stars were twinkling. They could hear the music cranking up inside the house, but none of the two wanted to return.

“How’s living with the cousins?” Hakyeon breaks the silence. He is genuinely curious at how the younger is holding up. He hasn’t heard anything after the big move, and he wants to know everything that came down.

“They’re great,” Wonshik answers, stretching his arms a little to the back as he leans, “they know how to respect my space. Even though we’re in this apartment, they still manage to comment on my videos rather than saying it upfront.”

“And that what you like, right?” Hakyeon hugs his knees. Wonshik nods, a smile forming in his lips, “You should come visit soon. Jin hyung wants a one-on-one lesson on candle-making.”

Hakyeon giggles, resting his head on his knees, “I will, just set a date.”

Wonshik nods and they were back to this comfortable silence. They’ve been best friends since grade school, and Wonshik probably memorized everything about Hakyeon but he would still be surprised whenever he learns something new — his new favorite show, his new favorite ice cream flavor, his new favorite video game. There are still some that doesn’t change, like his favorite instrument, his favorite season, and his favorite flower.

Besides his favorites, Wonshik feels and knows if something is off. He glances at the older, who was staring blankly at the road and contemplating on some thoughts.

“What’s in your head?” Wonshik asks as he leans forward, studying his friend’s face. He admires every emotion that Hakyeon exhibits; his most favorite is the genuine smile. Right now, he watches the frown disappearing, putting on a sad smile as Hakyeon faces him.

“Taekwoon and I started to date,” Hakyeon mumbles.

Wonshik didn’t know what he felt, but if he had to, it feels like a hundred boulders crashed on him. Why would he feel such a thing? He doesn’t —

Wait.

Truth be told, he harbors a small crush on Cha Hakyeon. He forgot when it started, but probably when the two of them talked about their love for music back in high school. He doesn’t know that his friends could practically sense that Wonshik is in love with the music major. They probably have theorized that Wonshik went to Yonsei because of Hakyeon (which, to Wonshik’s defense, is not the main reason; although he partially wished to go there just for the older).

So how is he going to handle this?

Wonshik averts his gaze, acting as if it didn’t shock him, “Since when?”

“Last week. We plan to tell it to you guys today, but he’s not in the mood to go to this party,” Hakyeon explains as Wonshik notices how the older was hugging his knees tightly. He should be happy, right? He finally gets to date someone, even though it’s within their circle.

“You do know Taekwoon hyung’s not really into these kinds of stuff,” Wonshik snickers, earning a light punch from the older. “I know, but at least he should, right?”

“Point taken,” Wonshik agrees. They then went back to silence, but Wonshik feels disappointed. He knew Hakyeon all his life and he has been trying to get his attention discreetly, but he also knew that Hakyeon is an oblivious kid. The only thing that could get his attention is admitting his feelings.

However, he’s scared. And he’s not yet ready to take that leap.

“You should tell us soon,” Wonshik says after clearing his throat.

Hakyeon nods, “Yeah. Now we have two couples in the group.”

Wonshik chuckles as he recalls Hongbin’s live confession to Sanghyuk, in front of his family and friends. Ever since then, they acted not only like lovers but also as best friends still.

“I pray that I won’t get fed up immediately,” Wonshik hopes jokingly, to which Hakyeon replies with a “I don’t think so.”

Hoseok sat beside Seokjin as Taehyung ordered their drinks at a nearby café. Seokjin felt guilty not inviting Wonshik since everything happened so fast. He fiddles with his fingers while Hoseok is scrolling through his phone. Maybe Seokjin should call Wonshik… but he remembers seeing Hongbin and Sanghyuk and Hakyeon so his younger brother will be okay there.

“Any reason why you brought me here instead?” Seokjin didn’t bother to look at Hoseok or to Taehyung when he arrives with a tray between his hands. He places the tray in the middle, handing over the drinks to their respective owners.

“We saw Namjoon there,” Taehyung starts as he sips his hot chocolate. His friends expect him to do a dramatic move like freezing in his place or babbling why his ex-boyfriend is there, but he didn’t. He leans back, brings his iced Americano to his lips and sips on it as if there was no big deal.

“Aren’t you going to go hysterical?” Hoseok asks surprisingly, looking up from his phone. Seokjin suppresses a scoff, tapping his fingers on his medium plastic cup, “One, why would I do that? Just because I act like that all time doesn't mean I need to pull that when he's around.”

He pauses. Okay, he would go hysterical but probably in his mind. He looks weird if he screams bloody murder if he spots that man and partygoers would remember him as ‘that Kim who made a scene at the house party’.

“And two,” he resumes, leaning back against the chair, “I don’t really care if he’s there. He might be with Jungkook or Jimin or Yoongi. I’ve moved on, he moved on.”

Or did I? Seokjin thinks as he hears himself saying it. Did he really move on?

It has been a month since Namjoon called it quits. He hasn’t told anyone yet of the real reason, since he’s scared that the tears would threaten to fall. Whenever people ask why, he just shrug it off and inform that it’s none of their business. His cousins didn’t push him, and his friends were just waiting for the right time. Those are enough for him.

Taehyung exchanges a glance with his boyfriend, and looks back at Seokjin. Seokjin feels like something happened when the two saw Kim Namjoon, and he doesn’t (or does he?) want to know.

The siblings sat in silence inside their car. Seokjin bought a mocha frappe for Wonshik as a compensation and the latter has been sipping on it with delight while driving. They haven’t spoken a word after they left the vicinity. The older Kim texted the younger that he’s in a café and, if it’s all right with him, he could pick him up there.

Hakyeon already left before Wonshik received his brother’s message, explaining that Taekwoon would get mad if he learned that he stayed a little longer than the usual 10pm curfew that they imposed on each other. Wonshik finds that absurd, as he believes Hakyeon knows his limitations. He didn’t know Taekwoon has this side.

Seokjin bid his two friends goodbye as he sees a familiar Hyundai Accent approaching. Wonshik then rolled down the car’s window and waved at the two as well.

“How did you end up in a café?” Wonshik asks as he halts the car in front of the red light. Seokjin has always been comfortable, but he feels at home whenever he’s with his cousins. He stretches his arms and traps the head rest once he folded them, “I guess nobody liked the stuffy house party.”

Wonshik chuckles as he shifts the gear again when the stop light turned green, “The amount of people is just right. It’s not that few but it’s definitely not that crowded.”

“Really?” Seokjin was surprised when he heard that observation. While it’s true that there’s a lot of people, Seokjin still believes that it’s crowded to some extent. How would he know? He hasn’t attended a party with that number of attendees.

His brother nods as he makes a turn. A few more minutes left before they reach the City Jungle.

“I saw Namjoon outside,” Wonshik starts again. The guy has always been a delicate topic for the cousins, even for the two. It has obviously been a month but the cousins know that Seokjin’s not yet ready to open up. They would approach the topic with caution most of the time, so it’s a surprise that his brother just straight-up spat what he noticed.

Seokjin tries not to look uncomfortable, so he retracts his arms and latches his right hand on the overhead handle, “And?”

Wonshik attempts to look serious and unbothered, but he knew that he was really bothered, “He’s with a girl. Kissing and all.”

Okay, Seokjin thinks and scans his whole body. Mindfulness Jin, he internalizes, mindfulness. He closes his eyes as he tries to beat his emotions to feeling them.

“I think that’s why Hoseok and Taehyung took you to the café,” Wonshik continues as he took another turn.

After checking, he admits that it hurts but why should he care? He doesn’t have Namjoon wrapped around his finger now. That guy’s free to do whatever he wants, whatever he likes and whatever his heart desires. He would lie if it didn’t hurt, but he thinks that it’s part of his process of healing.

“You okay hyung?” Wonshik snaps him out of his trance. He hasn’t given his brother an answer.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Seokjin half-lies, “I’m okay.”

Wonshik juts his chin as he turns to the right again, the GPS indicating that they’re a few blocks away. “Hakyeon hyung’s dating Taekwoon hyung,” he says, masking the hurt that is seriously impeding his chest, “for… a week now? I don’t know.”

Seokjin looks at his brother, scanning if there were some hint of sadness or pain. He might have forgotten that Wonshik is good at hiding his feelings, but he wants the younger to know that he’s here and he won’t judge him. I mean that’s what siblings are for, right? He declares when they both fought over using a laptop back in grade school.

“Does it hurt?” Seokjin forwardly asks.

Wonshik nods, a sigh escaping from his lips as they slow down and reach the complex’s basement, “It’s fine. I know that Hakyeon hyung’s not really interested in me since day one.”

The siblings didn’t know what to do. The two of them are hurt and still don’t know how to mend their hearts. While letting time pass by is a good idea, it’s hard if you realize that every single time you wake up, you’re forced to talk to them. They don’t blame the friend groups, but they blame themselves for not having the right coping mechanisms.

Somehow, they’ll get better. They have each other. And the cousins.

“Good evening,” Sunggyu greets softly as the siblings arrived the apartment. Seokjin was surprised but their hyung flashes a toothless smile and turns back to the television. Wonshik sits beside Sunggyu, “Did you have a great time?”

Wonshik shakes his head, “Poorly organized party, I would say.”

Sunggyu scoffs and playfully pushes him away, “Go to bed you jerk.”

“Love you hyung!” Wonshik calls out as he slips into the bedroom.

Chapter Notes: Finally a new chapter! Originally, chapter 1 and 2 centered around the first few days the Kim cousins together, however, it felt like I was dragging it and I really want to introduce the couples immediately, hence the new body. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! See you on chapter 3~