“So, you are a student majoring in photography and went to that prestigious college? Wow, you must be very talented. I heard it’s so hard to get accepted in there. You must take my picture as soon as you get your vision back,” Dr. Agust, the one who are in charge of my vision therapy, voluntary offer himself as my model.

“No. I am not that talented. Luck is the main factor I got accepted. Are you sure you want to hire me? I am pretty famous as a photographer, and you need to spend a lot of money. Is that okay?” I .

“Fine. Then I can make you blind forever. You don’t know if what I did to you this far is not therapy but malpractice, right?” Dr. Agust way to treat his patient in a unique way is reminding me with Yoongi sunbae. A tsundere type. His joke seems cynical but it’s actually really cute.

“Okay, okay I get it. I won’t charge you a single penny. Call me anytime you need a photographer. I will take every single picture,” I thought this therapy will be frustrating, but thanks to Dr. Agust and his sarcasm joke, I can do it with a positive mind.

“Anyway, where do you come from? China?” he asks me while rolling a bandage around my head to cover my eyes.

“I am Korean,” I replied.

“I knew someone who is Korean too. I met him in this hospital. He is so cheerful and adorable but unfortunately, he is not blessed with luck just like you. Okay, it’s done! You can go now,” he finished put my eye bandage.

 “Oh, it’s done. Thank you, Doc. That guy, I wish I can meet him too. It must be nice to talk about our hometown,” when you are in foreign country, knowing someone who comes from the same country will strangely make you happy.

“Yeah maybe someday. Don’t forget to follow all your therapy session so you can stop come to my office. You just give more work to do and it means reducing my peaceful rest time,”

“Hahaha... I guess you really hate me. But, I am sorry, I guess for the time being you will be bothered with this pretty patient of yours. However, I will try hard to bringing back your precious rest time by being a good patient and do everything you told me. Thank you very much, Dr. Agust! Have a nice day!” as I thanked him, the nurse bring me back to my room.

 “Miss Kim, I guess you are very popular. Your secret admirer never absents to visit you,” I guess the nurse has a little bit misunderstanding about my relationship with this guy. She giggling and leave my room as soon as she helps me climb up to my bed.

“How is your therapy? It supposed to be fun if that grumpy old man is the one who treats you. His word sounds so hurtful sometimes, but he actually a warm-hearted guy. So, how long will you planning to take away Dr. Agust’s peaceful rest time?” he is still curious about my result because I didn’t tell him last night.

“My therapy? It’s fun. Dr. Agust is such a cutie guy. I don’t know how long I will do this therapy session. A week? A month? I am not sure. He just told me to never dare to absent from therapy,” I give him a vague answer. It’s not literally vague, though. It’s the reality.

“Aaah, I see. The topic of your vision is very effective to make you depressed. Your face changing really fast whenever we talk about it. Here, have some cheese stick to cheer you up,” his voice doesn’t sound so clear as he munching on his food.

He put a cheese stick to my hand and I eat it. Yes. Food is the best medicine when you depressed. I finish it in a second and ask him to give me more but then he said he eat all of it. Wait, don’t tell me the cheese stick he was eating is the one that Jimin gave me? And he even eat them all.

“Don’t say, the cheese stick that you eat is my cheese stick?” I am so ready to exploding my anger.

“Nom.. Nom.. Nom.. Oh, it’s yours? I took it from your desk. So it must be yours. Well, it’s delicious. Thank you for the food!”

“HOW DARE YOU EAT ALL MY CHEESE STICK? MOREOVER, WHY DID YOU EAT SOMETHING WITHOUT PERMISSION? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CHERISH IT AND HOW HARD IS IT FOR ME TO ONLY EAT ONE STICK PER MEAL? HUFT HUFT HUFT,” I am really exploding.

“I.. I.. I am sorry. I am so bored when I am waiting for you finishing your therapy session. I didn’t know how much hardship you have been through to keep it safe. I am sorry. I will buy you some,” he apologizes but it doesn’t help. I am so possessive when it comes to food.

“You, get away from here when I still ask you nicely. And don’t dare to come back here if you do not bring my cheese stick back. Understand?” I finally can find my calmness back.

“Alright. I got it. I will but it for you. Relax. Breath in, breath out!” he still shocked with my sudden exploded anger.

“Still not going?” I threaten him. In a flash, he already leaves my room.

***

I never imagine a woman could get that scary if you take her food away. I heard about it from movie or meme, but I never experienced it in real life. I am a bit scared of her now. I am coming back to her room after brought her a cheese stick. She is napping. I put her cheese stick on the desk and sit on the chair, wait for her to wake up. An idea suddenly popped out in my head. I can’t help but to giggling. I need to take a revenge because she scolds me with no mercy.

I look at my watch and it is only 15 minutes left before 4 PM. I am too scared to wake her up but I don’t have a choice. I shake her hand to wake her up. She is about to protest but I force her to get down from her bed and sitting on her wheelchair.

“Where are we going?” she asks me frantically.

“Hehehehe, it’s a surprise,” I look at my watch and I am worried we will be late. We need to arrive there before 4 PM.

 “Hold on tight, we are going with full speed!” I quickly push her wheelchair.

***

I have no idea where he takes me to but it seems like he takes me to the outside, maybe to the park. He stops pushing my wheelchair and suddenly I can’t sense her presence. To be freaking honest, I am scared to be left alone. Moreover, I don’t know where are this place and I can’t even see anything. I want to call him out, but I am so embarrassed. What if I look like a lost kid who was left in the middle of the park? I decided to keep silent and wait for him to finish his annoying-joke.

I am still waiting, not long after he left me, I can sense someone is coming. No, it’s not just someone. I feel there is a lot of people standing around me and suddenly I hear they applauding. A sound which seems like a violin sound is playing as long as other instruments. I don’t know much about music, but it sounds like a classical music. These people, including me, probably watching this orchestra right now. Although I am rarely -almost never- listening to an orchestra before, but I enjoy it so much. Music is also a great healing tool, after food of course.

I think the performance finally come to an end. Someone, who I assumed as the conductor is giving his speech then followed by the sounds of people applauding. That guy hasn’t come to pick me but there is nothing I could do but to wait for him.

“Excuse Miss, do you need any help?” a little girl offering me a help. Damn, where is that jerk go? Why he isn’t coming back. I must have look so pathetic. A blind girl with her broken arm and leg sitting on the wheelchair and left alone by herself in the middle of the park.

“No, thank you. I am fine,” I refuse her help and praying so that guy will come back as soon as possible.

“But Miss, how could you get here alone? Do you really see with those eyes?” this time the little boy come to ask me.

“Hey guys, come back here. Don’t talk to her and make her angry. She is very scary. If you make her angry, she will shot a laser from her eyes and you will be petrify. Hurry up!” shout a familiar voice.

“You ugly thing, how dare you, what did you just say??!! Come here and I will make your face even uglier!” finally he show up. I am not sure whether I feel happy because he actually didn’t abandon me or angry because he pisses me off. I can sense those kids are running away from me.

“See, she is a scary witch and will eat you if you piss her off. Now, let’s play with your friend, me, the knight, will take care of her. Don’t worry I will protect you guys!” I could hear his annoying laughter from a distance. I am so embarrassed because I lose my control and shout at him. Fortunately, because I am blind, I am not really embarrassed because I don’t need to see other people expression.

He pushes my wheelchair without notice and it’s startled me. He still laughing so hard. I am so pissed off but I am not going to say anything because I am afraid he will do something to make me embarrassed even more. Let hold my anger until we reach my room. He stops pushing my wheelchair. What will he do this time?

“It’s no joke. You are very scary back then. They were scared to get close to you because of your appearance. But, they are good kids and overcome their fears to offering you a help. But you suddenly shows them your true self and make them running away,” I knew it. He just takes his revenge because I scold him today. His laughter seems never come to an end.

“I hope they won’t stop hold a concert here just because an evil witch is trying to eat them. Their music is giving so much healing to the patient here,” he explains about that orchestra group. So it was that kid who plays the orchestra. Maybe they regularly hold a concert here, and this guy is one of their fans. That’s why he is in such a hurry to bring me here so he won’t missed their performance.

“Thanks for the surprise, left me alone in the middle of nowhere is indeed very surprising. But the orchestra is also a great surprise,” I am still annoyed but try to forgive him since he gives me such a wonderful surprise.

***

I just finished the performance and quickly help the kids to pack their instruments while I see Jennie and Monnie are walking toward her and talk to her. The mischievous side of me is suddenly awakened. She got pissed off by my words and her anger scared the twin sibling. They runnning towards me and Jennie is about to cry. I can’t help but laugh at this situation. She really mad. After packing up my saxophone and say goodbye to the kids, I push her wheelchair and stop it near the pond. I sit on the bench and give her a box.

“Here, a gift. I am sorry to eat your cheese stick and left you alone in the park,” she touches the box and trying to figure out what was inside the box. She smiled as she knows what was inside. A cheesecake. She quickly finds the fork and slice the cheesecake and put it in .

“Hey, what will you do if you know you only have a few days to live?” I unconsciously mumbling out what’s on my mind right now.

 “Hmm... I will do everything that I would like to do. I want to fill my last day with happy memories. But, what’s with the sudden question? It’s so weird hearing you talk about something so emo like this. Is there something that bothering you? Well, since you give this cake as a bribe, I will be your counselor. So, tell me what’s going on?” she seems in extremely good mood and voluntary offering herself to become a counselor.

I hesitate whether I should talk about it or not. But, somehow I want to hear her opinion and I have a hunch that she can help me so I make up my mind and decided to accept her offer.

“I have someone that I love. She is my childhood friend and also my first love. I have a crush on her for a long time,” I start this counseling session.

“Then, confess it,” she interrupts my story.

“But it’s not that simple,” I try to explain.

“Why? Are you afraid you will get rejected because you are ugly? Or because of some cliche reason like you don’t want it to be awkward because she is your best friend?” she seems like the type who quickly jump into conclusion. She keeps interrupting and not giving me a chance to finish my story.

“No, it’s not... completely right but, it’s true. The thing is, she already have someone that she loves too. Although it seems like a one-sided love,” I tell her every detail in order to help her find a good solution to my problem.

“Then don’t do it. It surely will make it awkward between both of you because the percentage to be rejected is very high,” she responded lightly.

“I knew right. But, what if you only have a few days to live. What will you do then?” I still unsatisfied with her answer. I need a more solid reason to make a decision.

“If it was the case then, of course, I will confess. I don’t wanna die with regret. You already know you will be rejected anyway. But somehow the heavy burden on your heart will be lifted by confessing,” she eats the last bite of the cake and seems so sad because she doesn’t expect the cake is gone in a flash.

“But, have you ever think from his point of view? If you confessing but you will die tomorrow, does it will make him feel burdened? I mean, he will feel that how could he never realize how you feel. If he knows you will die, even though he doesn’t have a romantic feeling towards you, he could pretend to love you back because he wants to make you happy on your last day,” I try to give another case to hear her answer. She clearing out . I guess she is thirsty so I give her a water. I need to treat her well if I want to find the answer I have been looking for.

“Yeah, it’s does make sense. But, in my opinion, despite you know you will die tomorrow or not, you still need to confessing your love. You said that she has someone she loves but it was a one-sided love. Maybe you still have a chance. You know, sometimes women will do or said something to give men a code. Perhaps she also has a feeling for you but because you just want to stay in the friend-zone, she said she loves someone else. It could be a code to say ‘If you don’t want to make it clear between us, then I will go with him’,” she does really sound like a love counselor expert.

“I think it’s impossible. She mustn’t have the same feeling as me. She does really love that person. Doesn’t it will make me even more pathetic if I still confessing although I know she doesn’t love me? Ah, I am sure it will become so awkward. How can I face her? I guess I was right, the best choice is just to stay as a friend forever,” I tell her about my anxiety and the reason why I keep hesitating.

“Look, there is no black and white in this world. But when it comes to man and woman relationship, there is no gray zone, you must state clearly whether it’s black or white. It will become awkward if she rejects you. But as the time goes by, that awkwardness will slowly disappear.,” I didn’t expect that she could give me such a thoughtful answer. Hearing her answer makes me drowning to my deepest thought.

“So, in conclusion, I have no other choice but to make a confession,” after thinking for a while, I finally come to a conclusion that the best solution is nothing but to confess.

“Yes, absolutely. Do it while you have still a chance to do it. Don’t make yourself regret it later. Don’t be such a coward and do it like a man. An ugly man is still a man, though. Or you rather chose to become a coward with an ugly face? Well, the latter doesn’t sound good for me,” for a very short moment I admit that she is very cool but how could she break that image so quickly.

“Yeah, you were right. Speaking of which, the sun is about to leave us. We need to go back,” I push her wheelchair and leave the park. She is right. I should do it while I still have a chance. I don’t want to live my life in regret.

“I have decided. I will confess to her. Should I do it tomorrow or should maybe I should do it tonight?” I told her my decision that was made while we were on the way to her room.

“Yeah, the sooner the better,” she replied while trying to get up from the wheelchair.

“Aaah, but I can’t help to feel so nervous. Anyway, do you need any help?” I feel uneasy looking at her trying so hard to stand up and walk towards her bed.

“No thanks, I can do it by myself. You’d better go. Don’t make a woman that you love wait for you,” I hesitate whether I should leave, but she seems confident she could reach her bed by herself. I decided to trust her and leave her alone with the heavy steps.