Hoseok confusedly follows his most handsome dongsaeng down the hall. He doesn’t exactly like the vibe he’s getting off the younger. It’s dark, tense, and only serves to worsen Hoseok’s own anxiety.

They finally come to a stop once Hyungwon decides they’re far enough away from the others. The taller turns on his heel, crossing his arms over his chest, and leans against the wall beside him. Hoseok shuffles nervously on his feet, chewing his bottom lip between his teeth.

“You know what’s wrong with hyung.” It holds no air of a question, but Hoseok refuses to affirm the accusation anyway. He doesn’t feel right talking to anyone about this without Kihyun’s permission… It’d been hard enough telling as much as he did to Hyunwoo, but that’d been necessary.

“Hoseok, tell me what’s going on, please,” Hyungwon goes on to say, purposefully dropping all honorifics to emphasize his own words. “I was awake when you and Kihyun-hyung were talking… From what you two said, he’s going to die, and—”

“Wonnie, pleathe,” Hoseok pleads, his lisp coming through due to his own desperation. His eyes suddenly feel about ten times heavier than they should, and the invisible weight on his back makes it hard to stand up straight. “I c-can’t say anything. I want to, I do, but I can’t. I’m not telling anyone until Kihyunnie tells Hyunwoo…”

“Is he going to die tonight?”

Hoseok’s never wanted more to be able to comfort his dongsaeng, to tell him that everything’s going to be alright… but he’s never been able to lie to him. So, all he can do is stand there in the hall like a useless idiot as he watches Hyungwon crumble in on himself. He pushes himself off the wall and walks away, probably to return to the waiting room, but Hoseok remains where he stands. He glares down at the floor, his grip tightening round himself as he hopes and prays that nothing more happens tonight.

Kihyun’s mother arrives twenty minutes later, after having broken at least fifty traffic laws to get there as soon as possible. She comes into the waiting room in a flurry just in time for the doctor to return, as well, a file of preliminary results in his hands.

“Mrs. Yoo,” he says, his voice wary. “Would you mind coming with me for a moment? I feel it’d be best to discuss this in private…” The woman nods in reply without hesitation, pausing only a moment to nod her greetings to the boys before following the doctor away.

Hyunwoo wants nothing more than to go with them, to be consulted about what should be done, but he knows it isn’t legally his place. So, he paces the living room until they return, his feet unable to rest.

Minhyuk and Jooheon sit on either side of Changkyun while they wait, doing their best to keep their anxious maknae distracted. The efforts don’t do much, though, as Changkyun becomes more and more of a muttering, rocking mess as the seconds tick by. Hoseok glances over at them every so often, but stops finally when Hyungwon gives him one soul-withering gaze that tells him he’s responsible for it all…

Hoseok knows this is completely ridiculous, but he can’t help but agree right now.

Kihyun’s mother returns to the waiting room an interminable amount of time later. She smiles tiredly at them, though the expression is tight and strained.

“Thank you all for coming here with my son,” she begins, causing all the boys to stand as one and circle her, “but the doctors are releasing him. He’ll be coming home with me for the time being.”

The members of MONSTA X frown in confusion, sharing an unreadable gaze with one another like a group only can when they’re as close as they.

“Um… eomonim,” Minhyuk mutters, his brow creasing together. “Is he… Is he really well enough to be taken home? I’m not meaning to offend, but if he’s really this sick shouldn’t he—?”

“You’re not offending me, Minhyukkie,” she assures the worried boy with a congenial smile. “I understand your confusion, but this is a family illness, of sorts. It’s very rare, and the doctors here don’t know how to handle it.”

“Eomonim, is this what his appa had?” Hyunwoo interjects, hoping desperately that his assumption is wrong. He doesn’t know much about how Kihyun’s father had passed, only what Kihyun had told everyone one drunken night last year. He just knows it happened before Kihyun was born, and that it had been illness that had taken him. The woman’s expression turns to one of surprise, as if she couldn’t believe that Kihyun had told Hyunwoo anything about the death… but she quickly recovers.

“Yes, Hyunwoo… I’m afraid it is.”

She then turns to the managers, and nods off towards the desk. They hum in understanding, and follow her a few feet away from the boys, out of earshot.

“What his appa had?” Minhyuk demands, pursing his lips together. “What his appa had killed the man… Does this mean—?”

A choked sob suddenly cuts Minhyuk off, and Changkyun presses his hand to his mouth as he attempts to regain some semblance of composure. His hyungs watch him with heavy hearts, and Jooheon silently wraps a comforting arm around him. Changkyun turns to bury his face in the crook of the older man’s shoulder, and Minhyuk can only lean over to hug their maknae from behind.

“Hyung,” Hyungwon says, turning to Hoseok with pleading, watery eyes, “fix this, please. I know you know what’s going on. Please, just fix this!” His voice grows higher with every syllable, it cracking under the pressure, and he reaches forward to claw at Hoseok’s shirt as his heart beats desparately against his chest.

“I’m thorry, Wonnie,” Hoseok chokes out, tears streaming down his face, “but I can’t. I don’t know how… I wish I did… But, I can’t…” He pulls Hyungwon forcefully into his embrace, and the younger breaks down against his chest. Hyunwoo bites hard on the inside of his cheek, drawing blood as he does his best not to break down like the others.

Despite his shattering heart, he has to remain strong. He has to be the voice of reason… He has to ignore the single tear that falls from his left eye, and hope the others don’t take notice.