[CONTENTID1]chapter 1 - her new name[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]                Thick rain was falling down. People didn't seem to rush their ways though, as if it was some fate to be accepted. Jongin tapped his finger against the steering wheel, waiting for the light to turn green, but not a single trace of impatience could be detected on his face. Big raindrops were hitting the roof of his car and settling the ambient sound. He didn't need the radio on, he liked that sound. She used to like that sound.
                Even after three years, small things like that reminded him of her, Kang Yesul. The sound of thick rain, someone with a red umbrella – her favorite color – a passerby wearing a bright lipstick; those were just some of them, only today.
                Jongin was taken out of his daydream by the green light reflecting on the droplets on the windshield of his car. He focused back on traffic and headed home.
                Home also resembled her. She had chosen the curtains, the cutlery, the vases of his plants, and he was never brave enough to replace them. He felt like it was betrayal; letting go of her by trying to make her presence vanish from his life was something he considered unacceptable. Truth is; he didn't want to let go of her. The fear of never being able to feel the same way again, he wanted to love, to keep his heart full of someone, and he wanted that someone to be her. Forever.
                Jongin stepped out of the shower and threw himself on the bed right after. He felt the cold, small breeze hitting the wet skin of his back and it made him relax, and it was all he needed. Everyday was an exhausting emotional battle in his mind. There were thoughts he wanted to go away, and thoughts he wanted to keep there, but it was difficult for him to manage it all. More than to anyone else, he would assume sometimes.
                His breathing became even, his eyelids felt heavy, and soon he drifted away into sleep.

                The bed was all messed up when he woke up in the morning; sheets on the floor and pillows around his feet. He used to be a quiet sleeper before her loss. He checked the bright numbers of the digital clock on his nightstand and knew it was time to get up, and so he did.
                Breakfast was dispensable, he could just get ready and leave the house for work, a simple cup of coffee in the way would be enough. With that thought in mind, Jongin headed to the drawer where he kept his ties. Placed in the middle of the first row, a ruby tie was the one which always caught his eyes first. He gently brushed his fingers against it and, with a sigh, averted his eyes to the other pieces displayed for him. Once all settled up, he was ready to go. Late, but it was intentional. Dealing with morning traffic wasn't a topic on his task list that day, even if it cost him a long scold.

                The automatic glass doors opened as he approached, and he reached the building lobby. It was one of the most famous business buildings in all Seoul, with a fancy restaurant occupying the penthouse, so it was huge the frequency of people coming and going. Jongin walked with a cup of coffee in one hand and his briefcase in the other. His ways were elegant, his nose was unintentional but charmingly pointing up, his looks always gained glances from several women around wherever he went. However, it was exactly the opposite with men, they generally didn't really care about how his suit dressed perfectly on him or which position he might have in some well-known company. And due this pure lack of attention, accidents were most likely to happen.
                His shoulder was violently pushed back by a stranger man. He instantly turned around, ready to scold him.
                “Distracted, aren't we?” he feigned empathy but his gaze showed how annoyed he really was.
                “You weren't so aware of your surroundings yourself,” the man answered.
                “You're the one who pushed me, you should be the one to apologize first,” Jongin completely turned around to face him.
                “Forget it. Just go your way,” the man turned around and resumed walking to the doors.
                “Yah