*where are you at, are you watching me?

it’s too late for regrets, i can’t see you again
the shadows of my memories
with my eyes wet with tears, i’ll protect that place


“__________-ah, please I’m begging you don’t go! The only reason I went out with Jessica was because….”

“Because of what? Tell me oppa!” you demanded furiously, tears flowing endlessly.

Jaejoong’s Flashback

After going to _______’s house, Jaejoong received a call from the hospital regarding the check-up he had a week ago.

“Good Evening Doctor Jo, so why what’s the matter? Why am I called?” Jaejoong questioned the doctor.

“Jaejoong-shi, I believe we have some terrible news for you…” the doctor trailed off.

“What is it, Doctor Jo?” Jaejoong asked.

“Well you see after you last check up we found some abnormality”

“What kind of abnormality ? It can’t be anything serious right?” Jaejoong said.

“Unfortunately, its worse than we thought…Jaejoong-shhi, we believe you have colon cancer…” Doctor Jo said sadly.

“What??! Doctor how did this happen? It can still be treated right??” Jaejoong panicked.

“Sadly, the cancer has been found a little too late…so the cancer had already spread which is harder to be treated”

“Then what can I do??” Jaejoong cried.

“As of now nothing, we can’t do anymore to treat it…you only have 1 and a half months to live Jaejoong-shi” Doctor Jo said truthfully.

“No!!!!!!!!!!This can’t happen…I’ll do anything..no matter how much. Just treat me!” Jaejoong said hysterically. *No! I can’t leave________-ah!”

“I’m sorry Jaejoong-shi, I suggest you prepare yourself as well as your loved ones from what’s gonna happen”

End of Flashback.

“It’s because….I want you to forget about me!” Jaejoong said sadly.

“Why? Is it because you realized you don’t love me but Jessica..” you replied angrily.

“No…”Jaejoong trailed off.

“Then what? Tell me oppa!” you cried.

“Listen _______-ah, I love you but I can’t be with you anymore..” Jaejoong said tearing up.

“Why?” you screamed.

*i can’t say those words, i really can’t
even when you’re by my side…
i’m sorry, i just can’t do that
now everything is falling apart
please wait for me a while longer
seaching inside my dreams
i’m afraid that i’ll eventually close my eyes inside you

But Jaejoong couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you the truth. That he is dying. That after a month you will be left alone. You would be heartbroken. So to make it easier for the both of you, Jaejoong went back together with Jessica, hoping he would forget about you. More importanly, it was better to make you think that he loved Jessica even though it’s not true ,rather than letting you know that he was dying.

*don’t go, don’t ever go
can’t you stay by my side?
lies, all are lies
i don’t want to hear any of it.
love you, i love you
can’t you say it to me just once more?
love you, i love you
will you love me again

“You know what I’m leaving! Go back to your Jessica, you jerk! I HATE YOU!” you said furiously and ran across the road.

“No wait! _______-ah! Don’t….”

Then BANG! A truck ran you over. You were lying lifelessly on the ground with no still movements. Jaejoong ran to your side, he was shaking as he put out his hand to hold you but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything . He closed his eyes, everything seems to stop around him as he felt your blood soaking his jeans. 

Jaejoong shook back to reality upon hearing the ambulances siren. *Please please God! Make _____ live , I'll do anything just let her live!" He thought in his head. He couldn’t seem to shout or talk . Jaejoong felt dead.  Tears started to fall from his blank eyes. Bitter tears which seems like a goodbye. *Is this really over? No! ______ has to live ,You have to!* he thought as the next couple of minutes to the hospital felt like a blur  eternity to him. 

Jaejoong's POV

The way to the hospital was a blur to me, the moment we reached the hospital , nurses and doctors worked quickly and took ____ to the emergency room. 

I sat on a bench with heart palpitating rapidly. * it's my fault... It's all my fault! Maybe this is the reason why my life is going to be  taken away from me . Because I'm a bad  person. God! Please take my life now I don't care .. just let _______ live!" A tear escaped my eyes , I quickly wipe it away. 

After a long couple of hours, the doctor came out of the emergency room. I stood up right away and shakily made my way to him.

"Hows _______? she's okay right?" I said unsteadily.

" I have some good news and bad news for you Mr.Kim" the doctor started. " _______ was able to survive pass the critical condition. So she'll be moved from the emergency room to the intensive care unit ...However, she is unfortunately in a very deep sleep..." 

" what does that mean Doc???" I cried out.

" It means she's in a coma... Right now we can only hope that she finds a will and strength to wake up. " he said sadly and left. 

I didn't even have time to take everything when I heard _____'s parents. " Jaejoong! Where's _____? Where is our daughter?" her mom cried. 

" Please calm down Mrs. Oh , ______ is out of critical condition but..." I was cut off I couldn't bear to break them the news. 

" Son, what is it?" her father said rather calmly but looked extremely worried. 

" She's in a coma..." I said.

" Coma!!? My daughter? She's in a coma?" her mom said and broke down in loud fits of tears. She was about to faint from the news, but luckily his dad and I held her to steady and took her to ____'s room.

-----
Third POV

things are as it is already
even if i were to search (for you), traces of you have been erased
even my last memory of you,
just like my tears, have been locked away…

Mrs. Oh cried harder the moment she saw your face. You looked peaceful as ever, still very beautiful yet lifeless. Mr. Oh seemed like he was about to cry any time soon but he remained composed trying to be strong for his family. 

While Jaejoong on the other hand sat in a seat next to you. Every moment was killing him seeing your parents hurt like this. But especially to see you like this.

*______-ah. I should be the one on your position right now,
I was the cause of all of this. I can never ever forgive myself.* Jaejoong thought.

" Jaejoong, son, I'll take my wife out for now, we need to inform our relatives about our daughter. Please watch her over for us" he said sadly as he led his unwilling wife out the door. 

* this is it, this is the end already.
if you’re not by my side
i’m sorry, i’ll leave (too)
now, walking along the path you took
wandering along this endless road, searching for you
i’m afraid that at the end of it, i’ll still lose you and all that’s left is despair

Jaejoong stared at your angelic face and with just mere seconds tears uncontrollably fell down from his eyes. He held your hand much tighter. " Pls _____! Pls live! Wake up for your friends, for your parents and live! Live for me..." Jaejoong cried bitterly. 
 

~
Don’t leave, don’t leave- can’t you stay?
Lies, lies, I don’t hear anything
I love you, I love you- can’t you show me?
Can’t you love me, love me, love me?
Don’t leave, don’t leave- can’t you stay?
Lies, lies, I don’t hear anything
I love you, I love you- can’t you show me?
Please come back

Third POV

Your family and friends were constantly visiting you, most especially Jaejoong who seemed to live in the hospital these days, always beside you, watching over you. It was also that long period of time that he was called to the doctor and be informed of his situation.

Flashback

“Jaejoong-shi? Please do come in. I’m Doctor Byun” the doctor smiled brightly. *My a different doctor? Where’s Dr.Jo?*

Jaejoong grimly walked towards the doctor to shake his hands and took a seat. “Doctor…is there any way to prolong my life? Just enough for me to see someone I love very dearly?”  he said tiredly.

“Well, Mr. Kim, I don’t know how to break this to you but… I’m… I don’t …how you would react..” the doctor said sounding uncertain and a bit worried.

Jaejoong prepared for the worst scenario that could happen but he thought he can’t just die and leave you. There are still so much things he needs to tell you.

“Just say it doctor” Jaejoong said sternly.

“Well, we discovered that you don’t have colon cancer…” the doctor said slowly.

“What did you just say?!!” Jaejoong said frantically.

“Well, Dr. Jo was our new doctor here at the hospital and it seems like he made a mistake and messed other patient’s result with yours. Apparently there is another Jaejoong Kim here too…you know that singer from DBSK?”

“So that means I have no cancer?” Jaejoong’s voice suddenly turned bright. The doctor nodded gleefully “We are sorry for all that confusion, so in return you have 3 months of checkup free of charge. “

But Jaejoong didn’t care and was already on the way to the door.

End of Flashback

Time passed everyone around you started to lose faith.  That maybe… just maybe those beautiful eyes of yours will never open again, that’s to put it simply. Although it seemed like you were with Suho for a short amount of time, in the human world you were already unconscious for more than a month. 

Jaejoong, like any other days held your hands tightly and would fall asleep tiredly next to you; but today out of the many days he spent you with you, it was different. You were slowly gaining consciousness. You slowly opened your eyes.  Your whole body ached painfully, so painful you can never even move a muscle. You did your best to at least squeeze Jaejoong’s hand, it didn’t seem like he heard it. You tried calling out his name but no sound came out.

 “Jha..e...zoong “ you tried again but it didn’t came out right. “Jae..joong”

He slowly fluttered his big does eyes, and realized you were unconscious his eyes widen and jumped to his surprise. “______-ah!You’re awake! You’re finally awake!!! You can’t imagine how much I missed you!! He suddenly hugged me”

“Ahhh oppa that hurts!” you said weakly.

“Omo mianhe! I missed you so much!! Oppa is really sorry for what he did…” Jaejoong said playing with his shirt. *Cute…but no cuteness can’t win me over after cheating on me* I thought firmly.

“The truth is…the hospital told me that I had colon cancer but when actually they mixed me up with some celebrity that had the same name as me from DKBS? No, was it DBKS? Oh nevermind, so I didn’t have cancer after all! Hence, to make everything easier for the both of us I went back to Jessica!  But babe, I don’t love her! I never will… because I will only love you! I’m eternally in love!With You! And only to you!(A/N: See what I did there?:P)

You took a while to process that information but understand what he had said. You didn’t if you should be happy, mad, or angry from what you had heard *Fool!*

“Oppa! You’re a pabo! PABO! You’re a fool!” You said loudly. Jaejoong stared into your eyes trying to read you expression. “Oppa! You’re the biggest fool I know but…I love you!” You said and gave him a toothy smile.

Jaejoong hugged you and kissed you passionately. “Thank you for teaching me how to love…i love you”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry for all my mistakes:)
It was short right? I don't know if this should be classified as a oneshot or a chapterred fic haah!
How did you like my song fanfic??I really do hope you liked it! Please comment and subscribe:) Thank you! Love you all!
Oooh yeah before I forget! Pls support my Chaptered Fic : The Five Guys In My Poster Are Alive!>>>>http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/52604/the-five-guys-in-my-poster-are-alive-changmin-dbsk-jaejoong-junsu-yoochun-you-yunho