I was still pretty shaky when I started to go back downhill. To my surprise, this time, Hyungsik hadn't disappeared - he was walking next to me, his hands in his pockets. I kind of enjoyed his company right now. He was not saying anything, just walking, but it was soothing.

It was a better idea to catch a bus this time, and the way down to the station was short.
I gazed over to the guy by my side several times. He was seeming to enjoy the wind in his face, sometimes taking deep breaths, his eyes swaying over the city view. He didn't look at me, but he was walking close. Sometimes, his arms would bump into mine. Even though I was still alarmed by his presence, the touch was oddly familiar. As if we were used to being around each other.
If only I could wrap my head around all of this. As hard as I tried, I couldn't.

We almost reached the bus stop, where the sidewalks intersected into a triangle. My bus was not to come for another 15 minutes, so I strolled over to the platform, this time keeping safety distance to the fence though.

"It's so nice here, I should come more often", I said. But no answer came. I turned back and saw Hyungsik standing behind me, also keeping distance.
He seemed tensed up, his hands hurled up in fists and his eyes straight ahead. Straight at me.
But it was not the Hyungsik that had just saved me and kissed me today.
The dull, black eyes, the frosty lips, the danger coming from him. Even his complexion looked paler than before.
I stepped back. And further back. All of the good feelings were gone. I wanted to run.
Should I run?

Too late.
He took fast steps towards me and within a second, grabbed my shoulders with both his hands. I could feel his fingers slowly reaching under my skin. It was a new kind of pain. It was a burning sensation, as if someone was pouring boiling water over my body. It was so painful that I couldn't even get a single sound to come out of my mouth. Panicking, I looked around to get the attention of other people, but they didn't even seem to notice me.

What the hell was this pain? I was sure that he was only using his hands. But it was worse than my back injury on the day it had happened.
Realizing that other people wouldn't help, desperate, I looked into Hyungsik's face. But there was nothing.
No emotion, not a single sign of him even being in there somewhere. It seemed like an empty shell. But his shell was straight up looking into my eyes.
And they showed no mercy.

His hands went upwards towards my throat. And the burns went with it.
I went down on my knees. I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I didn't even faint. I just fell down, unable to send anymore energy into my system.
This is the end, I thought and proceeded to look to the ground.

The pressure on my throat suddenly lost its impact at once. As sudden as the pain started, it'd now left, too. I looked up.
Hyungsik was stumbling back, looking at his hands. He was not surprised or shocked, though, he just looked overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed by what?

I took my chance. And I ran away.
Downhill, all the way, until I reached the street at the Namsan Library. Panting heavily, almost choking due to oxygen lack, I waved over the first cab that I could find. And as I slid into the back seat and pulled the door closed, I let myself fall back into the seat and almost yelled at the driver to start driving.
He was a little intimidated, but saw the panic I was in and stepped on the gas.

He stopped approximately 1 meter in front of my door step because I asked him to. I couldn't shake off that he was looking at me in a strange, frightened way though. He didn't even give me change, he just waved me out of the taxi.

As soon as I walked through the doorstep, I kicked my shoes from my feet, walked up to the couch and curled up under a blanket. The pain on my throat and shoulders were gone, but I still had the lingering feeling on them, as if Hyungsik's hands were burned into them.
I was scared out of my mind. His face, his hands, the obvious attack on me - after he had just spared me from death three times already.

For how long I laid there on my couch, I didn't know. It had gone dark outside, but it couldn't be so late. I could see my phone blowing up from time to time, but I didn't even want to stretch out my arm from under the blanket, so I just let it ring.

Some time later, I heard someone typing in the code to my door. I didn't dare moving. Everyone should just go away. I didn't want to see anyone.

"Sedam?"
The warm voice. It was Seojoon.
I suddenly grew angry. Why was he, after all this time, barging into my house with my code like he was welcome all the time?
And what exactly gave him reason to come look for me everyday, even after this one single message I had sent this afternoon. He basically rushed there as soon as he'd gotten it, considering the time window.
I didn't answer, I just hoped he'd think no one was home.

But he came in after all and naturally, found me on the couch in a bundle.
"Are you ok?", he asked and sat down on the edge. His almond-shaped eyes laid on me with a worried expression.
"I am fine. Why are you here?", I gave back, hearingly irritated.
"I didn't want to bother... I wanted to apologize for my outburst earlier. It was not my right to reprimand you."
"I accept your apology. Could you go now?"
"If you want to... Are you sure you're ok? You seem... unusual."

I pushed away the blanket to get up and show him the way out, when he flinched harshly and gasped.
Puzzled, I stared back at him.
"What on earth happened to you?!", he exclaimed, his hands reaching out for me. I moved back a little bit.
"What are you talking about?"
"Your neck!"

What was he talking about? He couldn't possibly know what had happened earlier. But there seemed to be something on my neck.
I got up and, confused, walked over to my bathroom to look in the mirror.

I looked at myself in horror. First, slowly, I ran over my neck with my hands. Seojoon stepped up next to me.
Then, realizing the full extent, I gave off a terrified groan and stripped out of my shirt violently. It didn't bother me a bit that Seojoon could see me in my bra at this point.
With my hands still on my throat, I turned sideways to get a look at my shoulders. I had never seen anything like this.

My throat was covered in deep purple bruises, almost black. It looked like someone had choked me to death.
The prints on my shoulders, however, were much more sinister.
On every side, clearly visible, four fingers each, deep purple, forced into my skin. It didn't look like bruises, it looked like death had imprinted itself on my skin. Like the devil's claws.

Seojoon, as horrified as me, softly ran his fingers over the marks on my shoulders.
My anger for him had vanished. To see him eyeing me in this way, trying to figure out what the hell had happened, made me sympathetic.
After all, this was not something someone would understand. And yet, here he was, helping me.
Not to mention that his touch was something I had missed a lot more than I'd realized. But now, him caressing the sensitive skin on my back, called back some memories that I had tried to banish over the last months.

This is how it was. We were both standing there, me looking at my expressionless face, Seojoon staring at my neck and shoulders.

And then, the atmosphere suddenly turned into something intimate. Seojoon and I shared an intense look in the mirror, before he continued to let his fingers run across the marks. Still worried, but somewhat sensual, he bent down and placed a careful kiss where the imprints were most visible. I closed my eyes in consent.

No.
No, no, no, no.
This could not happen. My head shot back up as I watched how Seojoon let his hand carefully wander up to my neck. I tensed up.
When he noticed, he stopped and returned my gaze in the mirror. He let go in an instant.

"I'm sorry. This isn't why I'm here. Believe me, that's not why I came here."
"It's ok", I said. I went to my bedroom to put on a turtle neck sweater. I didn't want to see the scars. Ever again.

I sat down on the couch, somehow restless, unsure what to do.
Seojoon returned from the kitchen with two cups of tea, placing one on the table in front of me, the other in his hand.
He looked at me for a long time. I didn't understand his expression.

"Should I stay or would you rather want me to leave?"
"Do as you please."

I was too exhausted, too leached out to decide anything tonight. I knew he had to be out of my life.
But if that happened today or tomorrow wouldn't make a difference anymore.

dear subscribers! :)
i hope you like the development so far.
yes, seojoon still has a lot of screen time, but this definitely is a hyungsik story!
i am always happy about reading your comments and how you like it so far, so i hope you will show love in the future as you've done so far.
let me know what you think! i'll try to also respond as much as i can.
just to let you know that i am delighted to have you as my readers :)
cheers! - c