dear subscribers, this chapter will have guest starring!
sedam's group of friends consists of:

          Bae Suzy                                 Jisoo                        Ahn Jaehyun             Gu Hyesun
          

hope you enjoy :)
- c

I couldn't just sit here and do nothing.
For a moment, I thought about calling Irene to pour my heart out. But it was morning in New York and I didn't want to bother her. She was usually busy when she didn't call, so instead, I sent a text message as short as I could so she was able to get back to me when she had the time.

What to do now?
It was winter break, after all. My classmates were probably out drinking tonight. Maybe I should just get drunk.
And then go dance in a club somewhere in Hongdae or Gangnam to forget everything.

This was so out of character of me - I liked to have drinks from time to time but clubbing was usually not really my thing. But maybe I needed to do something crazy. After all, I almost died three times already. I could probably do some stupid things before that happened another time.

It was decided then. I called up some friends from college and they were actually really excited that I wanted to go with them. I was sure that they knew the good hotspots to drink and dance and have fun. I felt refreshed and hopped into the shower to get ready.
I chose to wear prominent make-up with dark eyes and lipstick and put on a black dress with tights. You could see the marks on my throat a little bit, but somehow I thought it looked mysterious and cool.
Something was going on with me, yet I didn't know what it was.

At 8 pm, I made my way to Hongdae. Even though Gangnam was closer and more posh, Hongdae's prices were way better and the people more relaxed. Also, my friends seemed to know a good place to go eat first.
When I arrived at Hongdae station rougly an hour later, the four of my friends were already waiting and each of them had a beer bottle in their hands.

"Sedam! I haven't seen you in so long! How are you doing?", Hyesun asked and hugged me. As always, she looked perfect.
"Quite good, but I just needed to get out tonight!"
"Oh my... What's that on your throat?", Jisoo asked and stretched out his fingers to touch it.
"Just an unfortunate accident, but it doesn't hurt", I explained myself. Hell, I should had worn the scarf. But surprisingly, they let it go pretty fast.
"Well, it looks kind of cool. Like, something adventurous happened to you or something", Suzy added. It made me feel better.
Lastly, I hugged Jaehyun hello and we made our way to a BBQ restaurant just 100 meters away from the station. It was buzzing.
As soon as we entered it, smoke and yelling people were everywhere. I'd somehow missed this chaotic, but fun and relaxed atmosphere of a evening dinner in one of the busiest areas of Seoul. When I thought back 3 years, I had been doing this every single weekend.

"Please give us 5 servings of Samgyeopsal and two... no, three bottles of Soju!", Jaehyun told the nice waitress.
"Can you make one of them the grapefruit flavor? I really can't drink the regular one", Suzy added.
Jaehyun gave her a look that meant to say weakling, but she shrugged it off.

The waitress came back after a few minutes with the usual BBQ set of vegetables and sauces and left the Soju bottles with us.
Overly motivated, Jisoo quickly opened one and poured us all a shot glass. Here it went. The night started out great.

Between the usual college gossip, stories from Jaehyun and Hyesun - since they were a couple - and a lot of bad jokes from Jisoo, the five of us spent almost two hours at the restaurant. After we finished all the meat and drank up to eight Soju bottles, we decided to hit the next place.

My paranoia was gone under the influence of alcohol. I hadn't drunk in so long that I could already feel it. But I was not the only one, all of us were pretty buzzed at this point.
We walked through the packed street with the young street artists dancing and singing, appealing a huge crowd of people everywhere they were. It was hard to make our way to the other side of the street to the club area.
"I know this great place. I'm sure you've all been there but let's check it out!", Jisoo chanted and directed us to a place.
It was hidden, but seemed to be a hotspot. The dancefloor was already filled with people and the prices there were more than okay.

"Suzy, let's have shots!", I yelled over the loud music and conversational noise and went straight to the bar.
I lost count of how many shots we bought, but soon I found myself on the dancefloor with my friends dancing to hip hop music.

It really helped me to forget all the crazy things going on in my life right now. Just a regular night out with friends and drinks and nothing to worry about.
Around 2 in the morning, after we had checked out various other pubs, everyone felt like hitting the club.
We decided that we wanted to go to a hip hop club and Jisoo, of course, knew the best location for that.
Between the biggest two electronic clubs in Hongdae, there was a small alley and a club with an even smaller and almost invisible entrance.
"Trust me, this place is the best", Jisoo said and went in after he received a stamp from the bumper.

We all followed and he hadn't been wrong, the place looked like a real, Western underground hip hop club, even impromptu rappers did freestyle from time to time on the tiny stage. The music was loud and intense and I made my way to the bar yet again.
Somehow, the bartender felt very sympathetic with me, so he gave me the drinks for free. It was a good choice after all to show the marks I thought.

It didn't take long until I was completely drunk. I couldn't see my friends, but I was still dancing on my own, totally out of control within the rhythm. I wasn't a really good dancer, but I enjoyed it.

I saw Suzy and waved her over to the bar again.
She walked up to the bar and looked at me worried when I ordered the next round of shots.
"Are you okay? You seem so different today", she said while I paid.
"How so?", I asked.
"I don't know... You've been drinking way more than usual and just seem... wilder. Also, your make-up and those scary bruises."
"Well, is there something wrong with having fun?"
"No, no. Not at all. Just making sure you're ok. But it's a really amazing..." She stopped in the middle of the sentence, looking over to the other side of the venue.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh. My. God. There is probably the hottest guy I've ever seen over there!!"
I looked into the direction she pointed. And on the other side, leaned against a wall, there he was, dressed all in black as always, looking over. Hyungsik.
"I can't believe he dared coming here", I said while shaking my head. His presence made me mad.
"Wait. You know that guy?", Suzy gave back while straightening her back and pushing out her chest. She looked over to Hyungsik again and smiled a flirty smile, obviously interested in him.
"Suzy, you should probably let it go this time. He's bad news."
"How bad can those news be? Sedam, look at him. Even Seojoon cannot reach that guy. And I know how you've always talked about him being perfect. You should call him over!"
"I think we should rather dance, don't you think?"
"Whatever. I'm trusting you on this one! Don't make me regret it!", she said while hugging my shoulders with her arm and giving me a bright smile.
"Hang on, now I need even more alcohol."

I ordered three shots for each of us and downed it as fast as I could. I tried to ignore that Hyungsik was over there, watching me again. The way he had left me in my apartment this afternoon, humiliated and kind of unsatisfied, too. I was too proud to admit that he hurt me, so I decided to just not look over to him anymore and dance with Suzy. Our other friends were dancing next to the stage.
Suzy couldn't help it, though. She was drawn to him, like every other girl in this club. She pulled me back to the bar once again.

"Sedam, look at him, though! He seems so... dangerous. So exciting. There's something about him."
"I know... I know."
"He kind of looks like a modern version from a tale. Like the villain. Or the angel of death or something like that!"
"He kind of is..."

Now, I was scared that I couldn't even enjoy this night anymore. Even though I was very drunk, I kept ordering more drinks. More shots. More Gin Tonic.
Jisoo, Jaehyun and Hyesun joined us at the bar and we literally ordered a whole bucket of Sangria.
I was about to take a huge sip from it when a firm hand held me back on my upper arm. The grip was ice-cold.

Already knowing who it was, I turned around to him with an annoyed expression on my face.
"What is it?", I asked.
Hyungsik looked at me irritated, when he moved in closer to whisper something in my ear.
"Are you trying to provoke me now?", he growled angrily. I backed up from him.
"Believe it or not, I'm having fun with my friends."
"Yes, and you are going to drink yourself to death if you continue this."
"Wouldn't be the first time that I almost die."
This sentence somehow hit him way more than I intended it to. He also backed up, his black eyes shimmering dangerously.

The four of my friends were looking at this dialogue in an utterly interested way.

"I told you everything you need to know, Sedam", he picked up the conversation again. His hand was still around my arm, tighter than before.
Before I answered, I yanked my arm out of his grip. "I don't know a thing about you. So, please get lost."
I wanted to turn away but tripped so that Suzy had to back me. The alcohol was kicking in way more than I thought.
"That's enough. I'm taking you home."
"The hell you are!"

After I had said this, I didn't recall what happened last night.

I found myself laying in my bed the next morning, and somebody had changed me into my pajamas. And I tried to remember what happened, but only small fractures were coming back to me.
Then I remembered my talk with Suzy. There was something she said...

Angel of death.

Could it maybe make sense? That Hyungsik was a personification of death?
But why would he save me all the time then? Maybe that was not it.
I wanted to call Suzy to ask her about last night.

"Sedam, are you okay?", she asked as soon as she picked up.
"I'm very hungover, but other than that, I think I'm fine."
Suzy laughed. "Yeah, you were so drunk last night! You even talked to someone that was not there!"
First I laughed with her, then I realized what she'd just said. "Wait, what?"
"Don't you remember? This super hot guy and you seemed to have some kind of argument, then he left. But you kept talking to an empty space after that and in the end, you just left the club on your own. I came looking for you once again and you were down the alley in a dark corner and seemed to be choking. I wanted to help but then, out of nowhere, the hot guy came again and cared for you."
"Suzy, I don't remember any of this."
"Well, we were all drinking a lot yesterday. I also lost all the others and went home alone in the end."
"Ok, well... I still had a lot of fun!", I tried to lift her up. She sounded worried.
"I did too. Whenever you have time, call me! We can meet up!"
"Will do! Thank you!"
We hung up.

Instead of easing my pain and confusion, a whole lot of new question marks were in my head after last night.
Hyungsik had taken me home, I was certain of that. Why hadn't the others seen him yesterday?

I was sure he had been there the whole time. Or was I the one seeing ghosts now?
Not only this fact confused me, but over all, I had the feeling that something came over me. How I behaved, how much I drank, how I talked to people. That was not the usual me. It'd felt like some dark power had pulled me in last night.