The situation was getting over my head, but before I could deal with my own overstrain, I was more worried about Hyungsik.

After he caught his breath, he let his head fall down as if he was hit by a heavy object. In a weird, uncontrolled way, his limbs were hanging from his body, his eyes closed and his expression of an utter exhaustion.

"We have to get him to his bedroom. Usually, this happens after someone messes with your list. It's like being unconscious", Jongsuk said and got up. A little awkward, I got up as well but didn't know what to do, because Jongsuk already placed Hyungsik's arm around his shoulders and supported him to walk upstairs back to the living room.
We entered Hyungsik's bedroom from there, a wide space with the same window front and a king sized bed with dark grey and black sheets. Its view was pointed at the National Park as well.

Jongsuk laid him down, and like a little child, the exerted Hyungsik sighed, crawled under his sheets and rubbed his forehead. He looked completely knocked out, and possibly the most human I'd ever seen him.

"Well, do as you please. Stay or go", Jongsuk said to me with a critical yet less irritated look on his face than before. Upon that, he left the room and closed the door silently.

I hesitated, but went over to sit on the bed's edge next to him. I wasn't quite sure if he even noticed me. He was moving his head uneasily and took heavy breaths, his body completely drained of energy. Even though this man could scare the hell out of me, all I wanted was for him to get better. I didn't even think of my situation right now, right now I was worried sick about him. Jongsuk didn't seem panicked, so I guessed that it was nothing too serious.

I sat there for a while, my eyes resting on Hyungsik. When I thought that he'd fallen asleep, I was about to get up to make a tea and talk to Jongsuk a bit.
But then, Hyungsik's hand held me back by my arm. Not with the usual force that I'd grown familiar with, but rather carefully. I looked at him.
He opened his eyes slowly, them being as black as ever. He then patted to the space next to him on the sheets. "Come here."

I could never say no to him wanting me close. As he told me, I went over to the other side of the bed and laid down next to him. I didn't go under the sheets, but it was just as intimate. We were at his house, in his bedroom, and he allowed me to see him broken down in a state that I basically caused. Nevertheless, I didn't feel guilty about that. He was the one that chose himself to spare me for some reason.

He turned over to me and embraced me in a tight hug with his face in the curve of my neck. He was unusually warm, almost as warm as me.
The time we laid here like this felt comfortable, it was something that I never wanted to end.

"I'm sorry", he said after a long while, almost whispering.
"What are you sorry about?"
"That I had to be the one to do this to you."
"You spared me. You didn't do anything."
"I wish it were that easy. But now, that you're not on my list anymore, I lost control over the situation."
"But isn't this a good thing? You're not dangerous to me anymore."
"Maybe. But I'm not sure if I can protect you from now on..."
"Why?"
"Because I feel like my powers are fading."

I didn't know what to say. Since he was exhausted and tired, he'd said it in a calm, steady manner, but I knew that he would freak about it later on. On the other hand, I couldn't believe that his powers were leaving him. I didn't even know that something like this was possible for a reaper.

Hyungsik had fallen asleep a little later, so I carefully got up and went into the living room.
Jongsuk was on the couch, but other than before, he was reading a book instead of watching TV. It didn't seem to be a novel, more like non-fiction, for he was furrowing his eyebrows in concentration and sometimes skipping pages as if he was looking for something.

Timidly, I went up to him. I knew I wasn't a person he liked to spend time with, but there were so many questions that I needed answered.
He put the book aside when I sat down next to him.

"Ask away."
"How did you...?"
"Sedam, we were in the same classroom for 3 years. I know the look on your face when you want to know something."
"Well, the first question would be how you even got here, I mean... We did go to school together after all."
"Hm. The process of becoming... how we are, is pretty complicated. I cannot really explain, but this is how it turned out to be."
"And why are those lists you have flawed? Hyungsik said I wasn't even supposed to be on there."
"You can see it this way: There is a higher power that keeps the balance between the living and the dead. So, they need people on earth like us that make sure it stays in order. Sometimes, people are not supposed to die, but they are doomed anyways. We know that it's an error - we just cannot do anything about it. You can call it unjust or a mere coincidence, but there is nothing we can do about it. No one, for that matter."
"So, that means, even if I'm not supposed to be dead, I will be anyway?"
"I'm sorry to say this, but most likely, yes."

I took a deep breath. This basically meant that no matter what I did, I would end up dead. By an error, to add to that. My stomach turned and I felt a little sick.

Just when I wanted to get up to process this information, suddenly my confusion, anger and upset stomach vanished and the dark force was back. It energized me and I wanted to something crazy. I even felt like smashing things or actually hurting someone.
I looked back at Jongsuk, when his face cleared up with insight.

"Sedam. Does this happen to you regularly?"
"What does?"
"The state you're in right now. The darkness inside of you. Does it happen often??", he asked, now urgently.
"In the past week, I guess so. Why?"
"Why didn't I think of this earlier! Sedam, you stay here. And restrain yourself!"
Abruptly, he got up and almost ran downstairs to the library. I was confused, but then again, right now, I didn't really care.

Restraining myself was another story. I just couldn't do it. My fingertips were tingling, my body heatened up. Without even thinking about why or the damage it would cause, I went into the kitchen, opened the drawers and reached for the ceramic plates and mugs and just smashed them on the floor, one by one. It felt relieving, and my body was overcome by joy. I thought I even laughed while doing this.

I was throwing the last plate in my hands when Jongsuk stood in the kitchen, watching me with distress. He wasn't surprised and he didn't seem to care for the broken kitchen utensils, but he seemed put off by how fast this state of mind was processing within me.
He had an old book and his laptop under his arm when he signalized me to come to the couch with him. I rolled my eyes and followed. I was interested what he had to say, after all.

"I was skimming this book the other day and came across something that now reminded me of you. The dark force that makes you do stupid things, the bond between you - a human - and one of us and the development of supernatural powers."
He opened the book and looked for a page. When he found it, there was a big drawing next to the text, showing a woman stretching out her hand against what looked like a black, demonic angel. The angel shied away from the woman, while a bright white illumination emerged from her hand.

"It all makes sense... It can't be...", Jongsuk murmured while he read the passage. "But it does." He looked up at me and was in awe. I really didn't know anything anymore.
"Explain it to me."
"The last reported case of this was back in 1791 in France, in the age of enlightenment. These rare people are called servator, Latin for savior. This is where this drawing is from, too." He handed me over the book, as he seemed to remember everything. "Back then, a fellow described a strong bond with a human girl that was on his list. He had never seen her before, but he couldn't kill her, even though he tried. When he let her live, despite his deadly touch, he gave some of his powers to the girl. Not voluntarily - but it was something that he didn't know. She started acting out, first sometimes, then more and more, until it almost got out of control. She realized that she had gotten very strong and people were treating her differently, noticing change about her."

Jongsuk got really into it. He spoke neutrally and thrilled at the same time, like some student that was surprised to have said the right answer to a question in class. I was getting scared by how the story would continue, though, because up until now, pretty much everything added up.

"She wanted to give in to the darkness and live a life free of social boundaries and responsibilites, just doing what she felt like to do. But she noticed a change about her partner - the fellow - too, and realized that they were depending on each other. So she learned to control the force, learned to ignore it and channel her powers to something good. It turned out that she had the power to save the unjustly doomed - she had the power to send the death angels away and to protect the innocent through her touch and ability to see the reapers."

"What happened to her?", I asked.
"Well, it says in the book that back then, it wasn't something good to be a servator. It was faced with death penalty, because the higher power felt their balance fading. At the same time, she was basically untouchable, invulnerable. So she lived until the end of her days from old age - like every other case of servators through time."

I sighed relieved.

"I can't believe that this is actually happening, that you are sitting here. But this might be an actual explanation."

Jongsuk and I were startled when we heard a door being opened and closed again. Hyungsik shuffled out of his room, drowsy and still half asleep. His hair was a mess, his posture bent. "What's going on here?", he asked us, his voice was husky and soft-spoken.

"Hyungsik. I think we found it. Sedam might be a servator."
At once, Hyungsik's back went straight, his eyes wide with surprise and shock. He looked over to me, then subconsciously touched his chest at the point where I'd left the mark on him. He took a few steps towards us, before uttering his disbelief.

"No way."