Kim Ryeowook didn’t remember how it began. He just knew that the car he was driving that rainy day skidded, almost fled few inches above the road and hit the nearest tree. Ryeowook only remember the flashes, people’s yells and someone trying to rescue him from the inside of his broken car. The smell of gasoline was everywhere and he didn’t feel his body. After that, he remembers white walls of the hospital and the weird smell of the place, before he gets anesthesia and succumb to darkness.

   A man in the hospital heard a beeping sound somewhere in the distant. His hand twitched and one finger moved, signaling that he was slowly waking up. He was alone in the hospital room. All alone with empty head. He doesn’t know what he was doing here, not who he was. His head was hollow and blank. He opened his eyes. His vision, at first blurry, slowly focused. He was in an unfamiliar place. Looking outside the window, he saw it was late evening, but what day he didn’t know. He had an air mask on and bandaged left hand, his bones were probably broken.

He looked around and his head was stabbed with sharp pain. He winced and closed his eyes, feeling the unbearable ache. He wanted to move, to press his head with his free hand or touch his scalp with something cold to dull the pain. Yet, before he could even move, the room’s door opened suddenly and unfamiliar people came in.

“Ryeowook, our son!” A woman in her late forties rushed to him and held his hand. Ryeowook? Who is Ryeowook, was that man’s first thought. He felt the woman’s hand grasping his more tightly, but he only felt the touch as something unfamiliar. He slipped his hand from the woman’s grasp and looked away from her confused face.

“Ryeowook love, we were so worried about you. You get into a serious car accident. I thought I lost you for a second.” A young man, around twenty five said and the man’s bandaged head. The man on the bed moved his head away from the touch.

“Dear, what’s wrong?” The woman said, but the man on the bed looked at her blankly. His frowned brows and empty, confused gaze made her suspicious for the worse. She quickly stood up and called for the doctor to come quickly. She looked like she was about to lose her mind.

The nurse was first, then doctor. They checked everything around the man on the bed. Two people who called the patient as Ryeowook stood up not far from the bed and looked worried at him. Their faces were pale as they held each other’s hand.

“How are you feeling mister Kim?” The doctor asked after he removed the mask from the patient’s face. The man blinked at him confused.

“K..im?” The man on bed asked confused. His voice was hoarse and deep. He was barely able to speak. His throat was so dry, it hurt him.

“Your name is Kim Ryeowook, sir. You remember that you had a car accident?” The doctor said slowly, eyeing a bit angrily at the woman who yelped horrified. He dislikes exaggerated people who panic over everything.

“Kim Ryeowook? Car accident? I don’t know, I don’t remember.” The man in bed, named Ryeowook said. He looked at people in the room with confused and lost eyes. He understands the doctor, but he doesn’t recall what he was doing here or who he was. He remembers nothing, only bits of his life and memories from some random things.  

“You must remember Ryeowook. You are my son’s fiancé!” She woman shouted, horrified at the lost of Ryeowook’s memory. She came closer to the man in bed and reached to shake him, for him to focus to remember. The doctor shushed her. And the other man held her still.

“You really don’t remember anything?” The doctor asked, but Ryeowook only shook his head. He frowned his brows, trying to remember more, but when he tried, his head started to hurt horribly. He screamed because of pain and started moving his hands to hold his head. He wanted to curl into himself, but the nurse and doctor held him. The nurse gave him some anesthesia and few minutes later Ryeowook calmed down and slowly drowned to sleep. His last vision before he fell asleep was the young man’s expression- concerned yet stoic.

How it is, in quick, short moment of your life, you lost so much more? You remember so much in your life, but in one second, like your head is a sheet of paper, everything become clear and white? With the blink of the eyes, your world turn upside-down.

Kim Ryeowook’s head became that sheet of paper. He recalls nothing except the common, daily life. He remembers how to cook or the road to home. He knows the coffee is bitter if you don’t add sugar and that’s how to do a tie. The only think he didn’t remember was his name and personality. He doesn’t remember where he work and who he was. And mostly he doesn’t have even a single memory of his fiancé Siwon and his family.

Apparently, Ryeowook was a boss at the small accounting agency, that was getting bigger and bigger. His agency was supposed to merge with one of the biggest corporation in the South Korea. He was suppose to meet with the boss of that agency day before the accident. But everything was put on hold, because Ryeowook couldn’t focus on his job now. He remembers nothing of it. He felt like he was a lost child in huge big city. Everything was unfamiliar and alien. Even his apartment was felt like it belongs to someone else.

He tried to remember, he tried so hard, but each time he focused, forced his brain, his head would start to hurt. He felt like his head would split into two. His vision would get blurry and he would lose consciousness. Most of the times it happened, Siwon, his fiancé would find him. He would lie Ryeowook in bed and give him painkiller the doctor prescribed to him. For these times, Ryeowook was grateful. Even if Ryeowook didn’t remember him, Siwon was next to him. He was glad he wasn’t alone. It was Siwon who told him about them and how they were preparing for the marriage. It was Siwon who told Ryeowook that his parents are dead and Siwon’s parents treated him like a family. Siwon was the only one who told him about everything and who Ryeowook was. And with his help, Ryeowook slowly remember some bit about himself. He remember who he was, but only that.

Even if, Siwon would say so many good things about him and his family, Ryeowook couldn’t shake that uneasy feeling each time he met them.

It was two weeks after the accident, and Ryeowook still didn’t remember anything. His injuries were minor and only some stitches reminded on his skin. His bones were fine, except his left hand that was a little twisted yet almost healed. He don’t need any bandage anymore.

He was encouraged by Siwon to meet his parents, hoping that, if he stay in a familiar environment, he will remember quicker. But Ryeowook knew he will not. His doctor said that he will remember some things day by day or don’t remember at all. Ryeowook was suppose to learn everything again about his work and personal life. The doctor warns Siwon and his parent to say nothing, not to force Ryeowook. But even that, Siwon’s mother would hint and say some things, making the man with partial amnesia feel guilty. Siwon would scold his mother, but even him, he would hurt Ryeowook with some words. The most hurtful Siwon was, when he tried to kiss or hug the man and Ryeowook pushed him away. “How could your love  be so shallow to forget me?” These words, they stabbed Ryeowook so deep. He wanted to cry, but something deep inside him wanted to jump at Siwon and punch him. He would look at the taller man with remorse and anger. His brain and heart screamed ‘Liar!’ deep inside and Ryeowook would only look down and turn around coldly.

He wouldn’t say sorry to Siwon, because he doesn’t remember loving him. He felt guilty for not remembering how to love that man, for not remembering him at all, but deep inside felt numb about that fact.

What hurt him the most was the blame Siwon’s parents put on him. He was visiting the Choi house for the Saturday dinner three weeks after the accident. They insisted that Ryeowook had to visit them each week so they will know how he was doing. But the truth was, they just wanted to know if Ryeowook remember anything.

After the dinner and small chit chat, Siwon’s parents excused themselves and went to the kitchen to prepare the cakes and drinks. In the meantime Ryeowook and Siwon went to the living room. It took the older couple a bit too much of a time, so Ryeowook, as a nice man, went to ask if they needed help. They tried to be friendly with him and so as good future son-in-law, Ryeowook wanted to be nice to them. They treated him like a part of their family, but he always felt a distance from them. It was when he heard them talking:

“How long he will not remember anything?” Siwon’s father said as he was pouring the hot water into the cups.

“I don’t know, but we can’t wait forever. From the way he acts with Siwon, it looks he doesn’t love him anymore and it’s not good for our plans.” Siwon’s mother complained as she cut the cake.

“He should think of others. We had everything prepared for their wedding.”

“And we hoped he would help Siwon to reach the success. The merge with his agency, we were sure Siwon would get the job in that company, now everything is in vain for now.”

“Don’t worry, if we play it good, he will agree to marry Siwon soon, without remembering him. He has nothing, no one as his family, he seeks for love and for someone to feel safe with.”

“Right, Siwon just need to persuade him. We just need to talk to Siwon so he will not find out about our plan. He wouldn’t be happy about it, but It’s for him. This isn’t our fault that the successful career in his field is so hard to achieve” Siwon’s mother said and looked up. Her eyes landed at the small open gap of the opened door. She yelped when she noticed that Ryeowook was hearing them. The man looked shocked at them:

“Ryeowook it’s not like that!” She yelled, when the man turned around and started running towards the exit. “Siwon!” The woman shouted and her son ran towards Ryeowook who was about to open the front door.

“Ryeowook, please stay.” Siwon pleaded, but Ryeowook hear no sincerity in his voice. He looked at the man with a pained expression. Their eyes met and in that moment Ryeowook thought, that he never saw love in Siwon’s eyes.

Ryeowook heard Siwon and his parents calling him, but he didn’t turn around. His heart was in pain. His head hurt like hell and eyes sting from tears, but he ran away. Ran as fast as he could, disappearing from these people’s sight.

A/N: Hello it’s me Yuna! I’m back with ChangWook fic this time! It’s finished so you don’t have to worry about me deleting it. I spend around 4-5 months to write it, so anticipate it? The fic may be a bit weird for some, but well I hope you will still like it, I put my soul in it , so enjoy!