only fools do what i do

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Hoseok hadn’t been lying when he promised to do everything in order to make the younger happy again, and the pain in his eyes vanish. No matter if it was just the small things, or rather big ones, Hoseok did them all. His visits at Namjoon’s place became more regular again, and Namjoon really appreciated that as he had missed to simply have Hoseok around him. Often they spent their time in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Actually, quite the opposite, they really enjoyed the feeling of simply knowing the other was there, somewhere near where the other could always reach over and gift the other random affection. Both of them enjoyed it. Of course, at the beginning Namjoon had his problems to accept that Hoseok was suddenly so much around him again, but he had missed him so much. He needed him, and he welcomed Hoseok back.

It wasn’t easy for Namjoon to forgive Hoseok, maybe he would never be able to forgive him completely, however every time he looked into the elder’s eyes he could see how much he regretted his previous decisions. Hoseok’s eyes were filled with honesty, and Namjoon could see the sincerity in Hoseok’s actions through his dark eyes. Of course there was also this darkness that often tried to pull Hoseok back into its depths and never let go of him. But, Namjoon was there to catch him and keep him save. Namjoon realized Hoseok had always needed him just as much as he needed him, and that knowledge indeed made it easier for him to forgive Hoseok.

Namjoon realized that this darkness had been the reason for all the negative thoughts which had flooded Hoseok’s mind and slowly token over everything he was. He knew from past experiences that Hoseok hadn’t been good at fighting them, always giving in to them far too easy. He felt some kind of will to protect the older rising inside him again, well, it was never gone. However, this feeling of being protective over the elder had subsided over the years and eventually was the trigger for Hoseok’s darkness to come back to him. Hoseok had been lonely, Namjoon realized that now and he understood.

Though, the pain wouldn’t just go away. However, Hoseok really tried to make him happy again, make him smile again, and Namjoon loved Hoseok for it. The slightly older would sometimes even show up at his studio, checking up on him if he was okay with a cup of coffee for him in one of his hands. Namjoon would often show him his new songs and Hoseok loved all of them. It was then when Namjoon remembered that Hoseok used to be his muse, and probably still was.