The door slammed. Youngjae stood up from where he was perched anxiously on the sofa. 
“You’re home.” He said as he saw Jackson walk into the flat. His eyes were red and watery; he looked awful. “What happened?” Youngjae asked, tentatively walking over to him. 
“That bastard, that’s what happened.” He spat before kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket onto a chair. 
“What did he do?” Youngjae frowned, trying to work out what had happened. Jackson and Jaebum had argued many times before but this time it seemed really bad. 
“Who does he think he is that he can just control everything?” Jackson began to rant, ignoring Youngjae’s question. “He thinks he owns the ing world, telling us all what to do. The day I met him everything has gone to . I can’t deal with him anymore I just...he just… I can’t see him anymore, every time…” Jackson paused, breathing heavily. “I need a drink.” He made towards the kitchen. 
“No no no.” Youngjae caught him, blocking his way. The other man looked up at him, fuming. “Alcohol is not a good idea right now. Just, sit down, talk to me.” He guided Jackson to the sofa. 
“I can’t do it anymore. I can’t be around that anymore, he’s just ed everything up, everything! That homophobic control freak-”
“Wait, homophobic?” Youngjae interrupted. “I’ve known Jaebum for a long time, and I know that he definitely isn’t homophobic.” 
“Yeah well, must be just me he hates then.” Jackson slouched back on the sofa. “He…” he began but then stopped. Very quickly tears had started streaming down his face and he was taking sobbing, ragged breathes. He looked so small and fragile. 
“Hey it’s okay.” Youngjae tried to comfort him, putting his arm around him pulling him into his chest.
“I can’t.” Jackson said between sobs. “it feels like my heart is being ripped out.” Tears continued to stream, soaking Youngjae’s shirt. 
“I know, it’s okay.” 
“Why does he have a girlfriend? I know he’s straight and there’s no hope but I can’t stop feeling…” 
Youngjae frowned at the word straight. He opened his mouth as if to say something then closed it deciding against speaking at that time. It could make everything worse. 
“I never expected to feel this bad.” He continued to sob. 
Jackson cried into Youngjae’s chest for twenty minutes before finally falling asleep. Youngjae, trapped with Jackson sleeping on him, took out his phone and sent a text to Mark.

***

Jaebum was still huddled on the floor when Mark arrived. He couldn’t process what had just happened. He hadn’t meant to grab Jackson like that, something just snapped in him when he said those words. He kept replaying the argument again and again in his head, trying to make sense of his feelings; he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt that angry, but he didn’t understand why, it was over such a trivial matter. 
Mark walked into Jaebum’s house without knocking, as usual. As soon as Jaebum saw him he stood up, surprised. 
“Mark, what are you doing here?” he muttered, quickly wiping the tears off his face. 
“Youngjae texted me.” Mark said, surprised to have found the usually strong, in control man looking so vulnerable. 
Jaebum nodded, before looking down at his hands. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” Mark asked, walking further into the room. Jaebum said nothing. Mark sat down on the sofa, patting the space beside him for Jaebum to sit down, which he did. 
“I don’t know why he does this to me.” Jaebum muttered after a few moments. “I just feel so helpless around him.” Mark didn’t say anything, just listened. “Maybe… maybe it’s because he’s so…stubborn. I guess I used to being in control and he challenges that, maybe that’s why he s up my head.” 
“Maybe.” Mark muttered.
“I shouldn’t have been so controlling, he’s right, it’s everyone’s decision, everyone has to be happy with the choices.” He slouched back on the sofa. 
“Are you sure that’s the only reason he makes you…this way?” Mark asked, watching Jaebum’s face closely.
Jaebum looked down at his hands. “I don’t know… what else could it be right?” 
“What are you going to do?” 
Jaebum thought for a moment, a tired expression on his face. “I’ll apologise. I can’t let the band fall apart.” 
Mark nodded. Soon after Jaebum fell asleep where he ws sitting.

***

The next day Jackson woke up, still lying on the sofa. The sunlight streaming through window hurt his eyes and his back ached. He looked at the time, it was 11:33. 
“.” He mumbled to himself, dragging himself off the sofa and into the kitchen to make himself some coffee. He found his phone on the table in the kitchen, and checked it. He had four missed calls: one from Youngjae, three from Jaebum. His heart beat faster as he saw Jaebum’s name, as it always did. Suddenly he recalled what happened last night and felt sick. Why was he calling him now? Just as Jackson was about to put his phone down it started to ring. ‘Jaebum’ flashed up as the caller ID and Jackson heart began to thump. He didn’t want to talk. His thumb hovered over the decline button but he hesitated. Maybe he should just answer, maybe he’d regret it more if he declined the call. After a few more seconds of deliberation he answered. 
“Hello.” 
“Can I talk to you?” Jaebum answered, his voice remarkable calm and soft. Jackson paused for a second, trying to slow the beating of his heart. Why did he feel so nervous? 
“Sure, go ahead.” He said quickly. Jaebum went quiet for a moment. 
“I mean; can we meet somewhere?” 
Jackson sighed, his mind battling itself. 
“Jackson, you still there?” Jaebum asked, his voice sounding slightly concerned. 
“Yeah I’m here…text me where to meet, I’ll meet you at one.” Jackson hung up the phone.

They arranged to meet at a coffee shop five minutes away from Jackson’s flat. Jackson felt a bit better about the meeting after he’d gotten some breakfast and had a shower. He didn’t really know what Jaebum wanted to talk to him about but he guessed it could be one of three things: he was leaving the band; he was going to tell Jackson to leave the band or he was going to try to make up. At that moment, the first two options seemed more likely although Jackson desperately wanted it to be the third. Despite all the things he had said last night, he didn’t want the band to split up, and he didn’t want Jaebum to hate him. He was glad they were meeting up; it would hopefully stop him dwelling on the argument. 
Jackson arrived at 12:55, deliberately wanting to be at the café first however Jaebum seemed to have the same idea as he was already there when Jackson walked in. He sat up straight as he saw Jackson enter. The other man froze as he saw Jaebum before nodding at him and walking to the counter. 
“Wait, Jackson.” Jaebum called out, Jackson turned around. “I already got you a coffee.” Jaebum said, slightly sheepishly. 
Jackson made his way over to his table. 
“How did you know what I would want?” Jackson asked, his expression reserved and cold. 
“Well it’s what you usually get…I can get you something else if you’d rather.” 
Jackson shook his head. “No it’s what I would’ve ordered, thank you.” He took a sip of his coffee. Jaebum watched him for a moment. Jackson noticed how he kept fidgeting with the hem of his jumper, it was very unlike Jaebum. In fact, Jaebum’s whole posture was very unlike how he usually was; he looked nervous. 
“Jackson… the reason I wanted to talk.” Jaebum started. “I want to say I’m sorry, I think you’re right, I was being too controlling. It was because I wanted, want, the band to succeed but that’s no excuse for my behaviour and I’m sorry.” Jaebum looked up at Jackson who was just staring at his coffee cup. “Also, I’m sorry about last night…I lost control…” he stared at Jackson, anticipating a response. “If you want I will leave the band, it’s your band, you started it and if I’ve upset you too much then…” he trailed off. Jackson stayed still. 
Just as the silence almost got too much for Jaebum, Jackson began to shake his head. “I won’t ask you to leave to band.” He said. “I’m glad you apologised…I want to say I’m sorry too, I acted childishly and behaved like a .” He glanced up at Jaebum then, who nodded in response. 
“I guess we both behaved like .” They were silent for a few moments. “I… I don’t want to split up the band.” 
Jackson nodded in response. “Neither do I.” 
“I think this band has something special.” 
“I think so too.” Silence again. 
“Can we be friends?” Jaebum then asked quietly. Jackson looked at him. The afternoon sun was shining in onto Jaebum’s face and he was struck again with how beautiful the man in front of him was. He thought about what Jaebum said, about being friends, and thought how horrible it would be to just be friends, to be near this man that he liked, maybe even loved, and know nothing would ever happen. But then he thought about how much worse it would be to be away from him, to become strangers to each other. 
“Yeah.” Jackson smiled softly. “Let’s be friends.” 
Jaebum couldn’t contain his smile then, sitting back in his seat, grinning stupidly in relief. “Good, I’m so glad, I was so worried.” He giggled nervously.
Jackson smiled at Jaebum’s dorky grin, thinking how cute it was. "Me too."