“I’m here.” Jackson shouted walking through the door to Jaebum’s house. This was almost the fifth week of band practices.
“Shhh.” Youngjae shushed him, motioning towards the door on the other side of the room. “He’s on the phone.” He mouthed.
“Talking to his girlfriend is he?” Jackson rolled his eyes, acting unimpressed. It had shocked him a lot when he found out Jaebum had a girlfriend, and it made him feel stupid. Of course Jaebum would have a girlfriend. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it before. But he was too stupid to realise and had already let his feelings run wild. It was now no secret how Jackson felt about Jaebum. However, the thing that most upset him was he had really thought that there was a small possibility that Jaebum liked him back. But then, just as his hopes had almost been realised, they were shattered.
“No, shush, it’s important.” Youngjae motioned for him to sit down. Jackson frowned, wondering what it could before sitting beside Mark, who was engrossed in a game on his phone, seemingly oblivious to the apparent importance of the phone call.
“Who-”
“Shhhhhh!” Youngjae shushed him again before moving slowly towards to door that led to the room Jaebum was in. At that moment Jaebum walked back in the room, a triumphant look on his face. The others looked at him expectantly.
“Well…who was it?” Jackson asked finally.
“That was Jinyoung and-”
“What did he want?” Jackson interrupted.
“I was about to get to that.” Jaebum glared.
Jackson huffed.
“That was Jinyoung and I just managed to get us a small gig.” Jaebum smiled victoriously, expecting cheers and praise but all he got was faces that were slowly turning paler.
“A gig?” Youngjae repeated. Jaebum nodded, his smile now faltering a bit as Youngjae slumped down on the sofa and stared into space.
“But we’ve only been practicing for five weeks.” Mark said.
“Right yeah but it isn’t for an another five weeks and it’s small, we can only play for maximum twenty minutes so it’s not big or anything…” Jaebum tried to reassure them, suddenly realising how this could cause concern. “But it’s at a really good place.” Mark and Youngjae said nothing.
“Guys we can do it.” Jackson started. “We have another five weeks and its only twenty minutes. It’s fine, Jinyoung did well.”
“Exactly.” Jaebum nodded, noticing the way Jackson only gave Jinyoung credit for getting the gig. “We’re just going to have to work extra hard and… I think we should probably decide songs today if possible, we also need a band name…” Silence descended over the room for a moment. “Will you do it?”
“If you say it’ll be fine, okay.” Mark mumbled. Youngjae looked between Jaebum and Jackson.
“Well I don’t have much choice do I.” He sighed.
“Great then, lets-” Jaebum began before his phone started ringing. He hesitated.
“Girlfriend is it?” Jackson muttered. Jaebum didn’t say anything but left the room before finally answering. The now familiar sick feeling hit Jackson as he watched Jaebum walk out. He felt angry.
“You okay?” Youngjae asked, noticing Jackson’s expression.
“Yeah…yeah of course.” Jackson smiled shaking his head. “You okay with this gig?”
“Yeah…I guess I’ll be okay.’ Youngjae smiled timidly. Then Jackson noticed Jaebum walk back in the room.
“Youngjae I never told you about this guy’s number I got yesterday.” Jackson said loudly, Youngjae frowned at him before rolling his eyes. “He was seriously the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen, like really this time.” He didn’t know what he was trying to gain from it, but he still did it. He’d been doing it a lot lately, random pointless attempts to make Jaebum jealous. As if Jaebum would be jealous, he had a girlfriend. Jaebum ignored him.
“Shall we decide the songs then?” Jaebum said, a slight edge to his voice.

***

Deciding on the songs was relatively easy, they had chosen just to perform mostly self-written songs and two covers. Well it was easy until they came to the final song. Youngjae and Mark both had songs that they had written chosen but when it came to the final song, it was between one of Jaebum’s songs and one of Jackson’s.
“I think my song’s better.” Jackson said firmly.
Jaebum sighed. “It’s not that yours is bad, it just doesn’t fit with the set as well as mine. And I’m not being biased.”
Jackson rolled his eyes. “And how does my song ‘not fit with the set’? Huh?”
“Jackson don’t be like this.”
“Be like what? I don’t see why we can’t get rid of one of the covers and both have our songs in it.”
“No, we can’t play our…It has to be the best set possible. The one that will get us the best response.”
“Are you saying we won’t get a good response from my song?”
“I’m not saying that, but my song would be more appropriate. I’m sure Youngjae and Mark agree with me.”
Jackson turned and stared accusingly at Mark and Youngjae who quickly avoided eye contact, acting as if they weren’t even listening to the conversation. When Jackson and Jaebum argued, which happened a lot, they tended to avoid getting involved, it was better for everyone that way. Jackson turned back to Jaebum.
“Right let’s flip a coin for it.”
“What? Jackson this is the first time we’re ever going to play our music in public. We have to be the best we can be, with the best set possible. You can’t be so unprofessional.”
“My song is good enough!”
“Both our songs are good enough but I know people will respond better to mine in this specific set. Don’t be so unreasonable!”
Jackson stared at him for a moment. “Well if you know best you better make all the decisions. We might as well not be here; we’ll just turn up to play the music. It’s fine you do whatever you want, we’ll do whatever you say.”
“You’re being impossible.”
“Great.” Jackson spat. He turned to Youngjae. “Let’s continue our conversation, since we’re not needed.” Youngjae looked bewildered. “So the guy, he was wearing these really tight jeans you could see e-”
“Can you just ing stop!” Jaebum shouted, standing up, he could feel the blood boiling through his veins. “If you’re going to act like a child then we might as well not bother with this whole thing.”
“Me acting like a child? How on earth am I acting like a child.” Jackson said calmly, although he had a stern expression.
“Acting unprofessional; not compromising with the song choice; talking about… that…stuff when it’s a band meeting!”
“What ‘stuff’ would that be?”
“You know what! This is important, don’t you want this band to succeed?”
“Youngjae, Mark, would you mind leaving.” Jackson said, not breaking eye contact with Jaebum. Before a moment of hesitation, they both ran out of that house as fast a light. Now Jaebum and Jackson were alone.
“Yeah I do want this band to succeed. In fact, I was enjoying being in it before you started controlling everything. This is a band consisting of four people, not Im Jaebum and followers!” Jackson stood up, his voice slowly getting louder.
“I’m not controlling everything! I’m trying to make this band successful, Mark and Youngjae agree to my ideas, you’re the only one that has a problem.” Jaebum stared at him then, shaking his head. “I don’t understand you. We were doing well then you just changed and became so difficult. Not helping with band decisions; always going on about some guy you’re going to .” He spat the last word.
“So? What’s it to you? I turn up for the band practice, I play well. Why should I bother with band discussions since its always your way in the end?”
“Jackson you-”
“Why should you care if I want to chat with Youngjae occasionally?”
“You’re flatmates! Why d’you have to tell him that stuff here?”
“It doesn’t interfere with band practice; why should you care?”
“This is not the place for it.”
Jackson titled his head. “Is it cause I’m gay?”
“What?” Jaebum frowned at him.
“D’you feel uncomfortable cause I’m talking about guys? If I was talking about girls, I bet you’d be fine with it.” Jackson sneered.
“What are you talking about?” Jaebum then raised his eyebrows. “Oh, is that how you’re trying to play it is it? Well then Jackson maybe I do have a problem with it. Each week it’s a new guy, how many men do you go through?” Jaebum stepped towards him.
“Why do you want to know? You jealous?” Jackson said, mirroring Jaebum’s actions.
“Are you serious?” Jaebum stepped closer to him again.
“You sad ‘cause you aren’t one of the guys I’m talking about?”
“I’m glad I’m not.” Jaebum hissed. His eyes staring piercingly into Jackson’s. They were now only inches away from each other. Neither one backing down. Jaebum had never felt so angry. This had been a long time coming, ever since Jackson had met his girlfriend he had been weird. At first he just seemed down but then he had become so uncooperative. He had no idea why he changed but it just made Jaebum frustrated. Every time he saw Jackson’s face he became frustrated.
The phone rang. The sound echoing loudly through the house. After a moment Jackson stepped back.
“You better get that; I expect it’s your girlfriend.”
Jaebum started towards the phone.
“Oh and I can as many guys as I want.”
Jaebum felt an explosion of rage. He turned around and grabbed Jackson by the front of his jacket. Then he froze. Although Jackson quickly maintained a challenging expression, Jaebum saw fear flash through his eyes. He let go of his jacket, stepping back and taking a deep breath.
“Please leave.” He voice was shaking. His eyes on the floor. He felt ashamed.
Jackson stared at him a second longer before leaving without word. Jaebum sunk to the floor, his head in his hands.