Taeyeon could hardly sleep the night she met her second Sooyeon look-a-like. Not to mention, every time she closed her eyes she could remember the look on Sooyeon’s face when she was killed. It was that horrible reoccurring nightmare that haunted her so much in the past. Over the years, her memories of Sooyeon dulled but with a girl looking so much like her Sooyeon, Taeyeon couldn’t help but remember that last fateful night.

Slowly getting out of her bed, Taeyeon watched the sun rise over the city. Taeyeon sighed a bit wondering if she should even pursue Sooyeon again. Seeing the red stain on Jeong-sook after a bullet flew through her side was enough to make her sick to her stomach. Although Jeong-sook only resembled Sooyeon, Taeyeon wasn’t sure if she could handle seeing Sooyeon die before her eyes again. Was the chance of happiness worth the risk of despair? Taeyeon didn’t know but Seohyun would have had some great advice right about now.

Quickly reaching for her phone, Taeyeon dialed the number on a card, “Hello. Oh yes I am fine, could you come get me in an hour? I would like to have breakfast with you if that works…ok yes see you then.”

With heavy feet, Taeyeon hopped out of bed and went to her electric kettle to get some kind of caffeine in her system if she wanted to get through the day. Opting for a quick shower, Taeyeon didn’t even care if the water was slightly cold as her mind wandered to many thoughts about Sooyeon and the girl she saw yesterday. Her mind wouldn’t settle.

The kettle whistled as the water boiled so Taeyeon padded over as she dried her hair before pouring the water into a mug and adding a green tea bag. Stirring in a bit of sugar, Taeyeon let the mug cool whilst she put on a brush of makeup and finished drying her hair. Although she wasn’t dressing to impress, Taeyeon picked out a nice blouse to pair with her jeans. It was simple but stylish.

As Taeyeon was putting on her watch she noticed her ride would be there shortly and quickly reached for her bag she had the other day along with her phone. Flying out the door, Taeyeon quickly reached for the elevator button and tapped her foot while she waited impatiently even though it was only a few minutes until the doors opened.

Running out the hotel lobby, Taeyeon quickly spotted the girl she called, “Morning.”

Nicole noticed the bags under Taeyeon’s eyes but chose to ignore them, “Morning to you too. I was surprised to get your call so early. I thought you wanted to relax?”

Taeyeon rubbed the back of her neck nervously, “I think it is out of habit that I don’t know how to relax. Do you umm have any good restaurants in mind for breakfast?”

“I wasn’t expecting to have breakfast with you but your secretary Yeri said if you did, you like Chinese breakfasts? I am surprised because you are Korean but…I know many places in Chinatown we can get a good bite.”

Taeyeon wanted to explain to Nicole that the typical Korean breakfast when she was younger is similar to the cooking style of the modern-day Chinese, but that small fact can stay a secret, “I just like porridge.”

“Ah I see, well get in and we will get you the best this city has to offer!”

Taeyeon nodded along as she took in the city that was just waking up.

It was a quick drive to Chinatown as Taeyeon’s hotel was very close to the area. When the door opened to the restaurant, Taeyeon could smell the mouthwatering aroma that she was hoping for, “Wow…you really know your restaurants.”

Nicole laughed along as she got the two of them menus, “It is my job. I always thought if my customers have a happy stomach, their visit must be enjoyable.”

Taeyeon immediately found what she wanted and Nicole opted for a simple fruit and yogurt combination instead of the porridge, “So what do you normally do if you are up this early?”

Taeyeon played around with her chopstick, “Oh I watch the news or go into work earlier. It depends what I have on my plate that day really.”

“Do you eat alone often?”

She used to eat with Seohyun at the office, “Right now, I eat alone, but I like the quietness in the morning.”

Nicole watched the sadness fill Taeyeon’s eyes which made her curious, “Why not enjoy the quietness today?”

“Because my mind won’t give me any peace,” Taeyeon laughed dryly.

“Oh? Troubles?”

Taeyeon bit her lip as she looked at the girl sitting across from her, “You could say that. More like confusion.”

“Do you want to tell me about it? Maybe I can help.”

Putting down her chopsticks, Taeyeon leaned forward on her elbows, “Well I am having trouble deciding if it is better to live life contently or risk a heartbreak?”

Nicole’s eyes widened, “Oh! You have a love interest? I love giving advice about love! Please tell me more!”

Taeyeon was wondering if this girl may be too Cali to ask for advice, but it was too late to back out now, “Well you see…I am not confident in my abilities to…umm well attract another. The last times I did, something bad happened and I lost them forever. Would you pursue someone if you didn’t know your ending was going happy forever?”

Nicole looked at the sad story with remorse, “How does anyone know what the future holds? Don’t we all blindly jump into things without certainty that things will work out in a good way? Of course there are times when you are certain that things will work out but in reality, there is no way to know for sure. I can see your past experiences are preventing you from going after someone you desperately want to have.  Even if you can’t see it, your eyes are longing to have that person you love again.”

Taeyeon blinked away the tears as Nicole’s advice echoed the same thing she would expect to hear from Seohyun, “I-It…hurt so much before.”

Nicole quickly reached to get some tissues out of her purse, “Aww don’t cry. It will be fine. Well I don’t know that for sure, but seeing your sincerity, I think that is something that counts. If you go all in and make sure you have no regrets after, that is all that should matter.”

Sniffling, Taeyeon dabbed her tears away, “No regrets…”

“Yes. Go forward with no regrets.” Nicole gave Taeyeon a bright smile when she noticed the girl stop crying.

Taeyeon breathed in a few heavy breaths to calm herself down, “S-sorry you saw me like that…”

“No worries. I thought something must be weighing on you today with those dark circles.”

Taeyeon quickly grabbed her spoon to inspect the horrible darkness under her eyes, “Oh…it is bad.”

Nicole laughed at Taeyeon’s face contorting in disgust, “It isn’t that bad! You just look like you are ready for bed and not ready for the day to start.”

Taeyeon groaned a bit knowing a nap was in her near future, “I can’t go around looking like this. After breakfast I am opting for a quick nap.”

Nicole started eating her food since it came, “I am game for that. Powernaps are my forte.”

Taeyeon smiled as she ate her porridge, “No sightseeing today though, I need you to drop me off after lunch somewhere else.”

“Oh? You are going to travel alone today?”

“Yep.”

-------------------

After a semi-long nap and a quick room-serviced meal, Taeyeon hopped into the car again with Nicole, “I see the bags under your eyes disappeared.”

Taeyeon was also in a pretty happy mood that brought out a content smile, “It was a great nap.”

“So where to?”

“I need to go to B-Berkeley? I wrote it here.”

Nicole took the paper, “You are going to Berkeley School of Design? Have an interest in fashion?”

“Oh no…I need to find someone.”

“You realize that Berkeley is a huge school. How do you expect to find this person?”

“Well I have an unlimited amount of time to go to this school and look around.”

“Let me get this straight, you want to spend your vacation going around Berkeley to find a person?”

Taeyeon shrugged, “I have a picture. Someone is bound to know her.”

Nicole raised her brow as she listened to Taeyeon, “D-does she know you? If not, this might be stalking.”

Taeyeon laughed, “She knew me at one point in time. I don’t think she recognizes me anymore but I want to find her. I think here is the best starting point.”

Nicole started the engine, “Alright. Do you want me to help or is this a solo mission?”

“Solo mission. Thanks for asking.”

Nicole glanced over at Taeyeon who seemed to be in a much better mood since the morning. If this was the girl Taeyeon was referring to earlier, Nicole would do anything to help Taeyeon find her, “Does she have a name?”

“Sooyeon, but I am sure she has another name here in America. I don’t know her name now.”

Nicole knew this sounded suspicious but was curious to see Taeyeon try and find the girl, “Are you sure you don’t want my help?”

Taeyeon’s eyes lit up brightly seeing signs for Berkeley, “No. I will be fine. Are we here?”

Nicole looked around to see the school banners, “Not at the Design school but close.”

A surge of excitement passed through Taeyeon because she knew this time she was close to finding her. Somewhere in the vicinity, Taeyeon knew she would find Sooyeon.

Nicole drove around the neighborhood a bit until a large white building came into view, “I think this is the right place.”

Taeyeon was quick to hop out of the car, “Thank you!”

Nicole rolled down the window, “Taeyeon!”

Turning back to face Nicole Taeyeon tilted her head in question.

“Please be careful. You have my number right?”

Taeyeon nodded fiercely, “Yes.”

“Ok. You shouldn’t stay out late. Call me before it gets dark okay?”

Taeyeon knew Nicole was concerned about her safety, “Ok. I can’t see in the dark anyway.”

Nicole laughed, “Alright. Have fun on your search.”

Taeyeon stayed to watch Nicole drive off before entering the building. Being unfamiliar with the educational system in America, Taeyeon had no idea what do to when she entered. Looking around there were many closed doors and classes going on inside that she didn’t want to disturb.

Huffing in frustration, Taeyeon went back out to the front of the building thinking it would be better to find someone leaving the building than to go classroom to classroom. Making herself comfortable on the steps, Taeyeon sat down and waited. Every hour Taeyeon noticed students go in and out but to her dismay, not one of them was Sooyeon.

Nearly 2 hours later, Taeyeon built up enough courage to ask a few students if they knew the girl she saw last night, however, her English being far from perfect didn’t help with the description and Taeyeon got nowhere with such a basic description. Handing out flyers with the 1000 year old painting of Sooyeon seemed silly so Taeyeon axed that idea although it was tempting.

The first day of Taeyeon going around the university aimlessly ended in a bust. Nicole came driving up to a defeated Taeyeon who buckled in with a large sigh, “Didn’t find her?”

Taeyeon gave Nicole a simple, “No.”

The next day Taeyeon repeated her actions with a modified description of the mystery girl’s appearance written on a card thanks to Nicole’s assistance. This received Taeyeon a few maybes and a photo pulled up on several phones, but they were still not her Sooyeon. The end of the third day made Taeyeon realize that there was a much larger Asian population in America than she believed there to be.

The following day, Nicole finally had the honor of accompanying Taeyeon on her little scavenger hunt. Being clever, Taeyeon asked a good friend of hers to update her 1000 year old painting to fit a more modern-day depiction of the photo. Her friend complained endlessly for the added workload but a handsome payday had him finish the digital portrait that night. Taeyeon was finally able to show a photo to Nicole and the students at Berkeley.

Still, students would give random Asian women pictures to show as a response except for one girl, “I think I know her from a class we have together. The class is huge but it starts in a few minutes if you want to come with me?”

Nicole and Taeyeon were tired and hoped for any small break they could find, “Yes.”

The American girl showed Taeyeon and Nicole to the classroom, “You can sit in the back. I think she sits around here but watch the door if she comes in.”

Taking a seat in the desk/chair, Taeyeon leaned back after an exhausting morning, “Taeyeon do you really think she is here? This is your 3^rd day looking.”

“I don’t know. I am starting to wonder if she is even at this school, but we can look at the main campus tomorrow if she doesn’t show up here today.”

Nicole nodded and watched the door with Taeyeon. They were not surprised when most of the students that entered were non-Asian women. Nearing the start of class, Taeyeon noticed none of the students were her Sooyeon. Not wanting to stay for the class, Taeyeon and Nicole quickly went to leave the classroom. Both the girls left without too much suspicion of the teacher, however, a blur of a woman came running by that had Taeyeon’s heart stop.

The flowing brunette hair of the girl wisped past Taeyeon’s face as the girl entered the classroom. Nicole noticed Taeyeon’s statuesque face frozen in shock, “Taeyeon? Taeyeon was that her?”

Trying to shake away the butterflies in her stomach, Taeyeon responded in a weak nod.

Nicole watched the close door, “She was really beautiful.”

Taeyeon nodded again.

“A-are you going to go in?”

Blinking away the nervousness, Taeyeon shook her head no, “I-It isn’t the right time.”

Nicole looked at Taeyeon in disbelief, “But I thought you came to find her…she is here, in that classroom.”

Rubbing her eyes a bit, Taeyeon didn’t know what to do. She remembered years ago when she did find someone who looked like Sooyeon at a restaurant and ambushed the girl. This time Taeyeon needed to do something different. She had to make sure, firstly, that this new girl was Sooyeon and then she needed to find a way to make Sooyeon remember. But how?

-------------------

Taeyeon collapsed on her bed wondering what just happened today. After she found Sooyeon, she did act like a stalker and found out where this girl lived and worked. She even found out her name which was magical in itself. A very beautiful American name.

Careful to not be caught, Taeyeon watched the classroom from afar. One by one the students left the classroom until she came out. Taeyeon couldn’t help her rapidly beating heart at the sight of the one woman she longed for. Of course the other woman didn’t notice the awkward Korean with an eagle eye on her.

The young woman didn’t meet up with friends or classmates, instead she gracefully went down the hallway and out the doors. Taeyeon was quick to follow the woman with the lightning-fast walking tempo. She swerved through the halls and searched the streets for the other girl. Down the road, Taeyeon finally spotted her and was quick to follow behind.

After a while Taeyeon felt guilty as her tracking led Taeyeon to this woman’s home. Quickly looking around, Taeyeon had no idea where she was so she hung around the outside of the home. Eventually the brunette walked out in a new attire.

Still Taeyeon followed. The last place this woman went to was the mall. Taeyeon traveled close behind until the woman stopped at a certain store and went in.

“Is this where she works?” Taeyeon bit the bottom of her lip wondering if she should go in. This was her chance to finally meet the woman unanimously. Of course full of anxiety, Taeyeon decided it was now or never so she walked in. Taeyeon chuckled at the thought of her Sooyeon working at a shoe store. It didn’t really fit her personal tastes but then again, Sooyeon was very stylish for the money her parents had.

Walking around a sales associate approached her but it wasn’t who she wanted and dismissed the employee saying she knew what she wanted. Taking a box of shoes, Taeyeon looked around endlessly for the person she really wanted.

“Excuse me do you have this in a smaller size?”

The brunette looked up at the shorter Korean woman and squinted her eyes. “You look familiar...wait w-who are you and why do you keep following me?” The brunette glared at the shorter blonde scared and defensive with her arms crossed.

Well she was caught. Ever since she found her again, Taeyeon couldn’t help but go everywhere she was. Sooyeon was and always will be her weakness; blocking every rational decision like the fact that she was clearly stalking the girl, “I-I wasn’t...”

With her arms still crossed, the brunette gained a bit more confidence seeing the poor woman cower in her presence, “Yes you were. At the movie theater...” That was the first place she found Sooyeon, “...near my school...” Taeyeon asked around until she found that place, “...and now you are here at my work.” Well yes because Taeyeon needed to triple check that this was her. Her Sooyeon.

“Coincidence?”

The other woman raised her brow unsure whether to believe the blonde or not, “T-then why were you looking at me. I could have sworn you were looking directly at me.”

“I ah...” Taeyeon choked out, “Well...who wouldn’t see you? I think you are umm very beautiful.”

The brunette’s defenses fell and were replaced with a bashful blush, “oh...thank you.”

Taeyeon played with her fingers as she seemed to defuse the situation, “So umm shoes?” Looking at the nametag, Taeyeon read, “Jessica.”

Taeyeon smiled giddy over the fact that she didn’t scare off Jessica. Taeyeon bought that pair of shoes and left with a good interaction with the other woman. Sighing in content, Taeyeon thought she could really make progress and get her Sooyeon back. Maybe this is what people called hope.