Follow My Lead

♫ My Miracle ♪

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdgRz0_5TpE

“I don’t want you to come back to me. It doesn’t feel right anymore.”

Yonghwa could hear blood rushing through his ears as the meaning of these two sentences sunk in. The room was completely silent but her last words kept repeating in his head like a loudspeaker announcement, threatening to rip his eardrums. It was as if the air was knocked out of his chest.

He couldn’t help but stare at Shinhye in disbelief, his hands trembling. Although he knew she had reason enough to hate him for his behaviour, her sudden dissociation was hard to tolerate after she was still lying in his arms just minutes ago.

Yonghwa looked at her and wondered what was running through her mind right now. He tried to reach for her hand but she flinched, leaning away from him as far as possible.

Her reaction broke his heart.

“I won’t do what you want.” He eventually said. He was trying hard to keep his voice steady and calm as a stern expression spread on his face.

He wasn’t going to let her go this time - not after it almost ruined the both of them completely. There was just no way!

“We were drunk and we made a mistake. At first I thought we could work things out somehow. But I don’t believe that anymore. Seeing you hurts like hell. I almost lost my child, because of this foolishness.” She exclaimed, almost choking on her breath.

The way she said my child left his heart aching even more. It was as if she was already separating him from them.

“You and I, we are not meant to be. Looking back now I think we never were. Our timing was always wrong.” She said as her voice finally broke. Tears were falling from her beautiful eyes again. “It obviously cannot be fixed. There is no way back now.”

Yonghwa was covering his face. Her harsh words were cutting through him like razor blades.

“Please don’t say that.” He begged but she didn’t listen.

“You were with someone else.” Shinhye cried out, pulling her hair in distress. “I don’t even know what I’ve been doing all these years. What was I actually waiting for? I feel like an idiot. But at the same time I know it’s my fault all along for having stupid thoughts and a far too colourful imagination. I cannot even officially be angry with you. Why did I let this moment of weakness happen? I asked myself over and over again. But then I realized that, in the end, it doesn’t even matter... I cannot change history. I will face everything head on now; I don’t have time or the nerve for regrets. I will do my best to make things right and I refuse to lose my dignity over this. I won’t be weak again. I’ll be strong enough for the two of us.” Shinhye stated with determination and gently placed the palm of her hand on her stomach.

She seemed scarily collected after her sudden outbreak, causing Yonghwa’s anxiousness to grow even further. She was looking at him directly now.

“Whatever happened between us, I will not ever let it be the reason for you to come to my side. I won’t be part of this pity pact any longer.” Shinhye declared.

She was breathing heavily but she looked more strong-willed than he had never seen her before.

“Shinhye-yah” Yonghwa tried to interrupt her again, desperation lingering in his voice, but she just wouldn’t let him speak.

“We will bring some distance in between us and go our separate ways until we’ve found a way to deal with the mess like adults. Please, I don’t want the two of us to end up hating each other and accuse and fight all the time. We need to be rational for the child. We need to figure out a way to take care of the baby even though we are not a couple. Please, if I mean anything to you, then you will agree with me.” Shinhye told him. “I might have been confused for a while. But my head is clear now, Yonghwa-yah. The two of us… we are not meant to be. Looking back I understand that now. We are not going to try and make things work just because of your sense of duty. I won’t do it. I’m not going to tie the both of us down because of a loveless commitment. So don’t tell me anything stupid like ‘I love you’ now to change my mind. I know you well. I won’t fall for it. I will never fall for you ever again.”

“BUT I DO LOVE YOU!” Yonghwa almost shouted as he finally lost his temper. He needed her to know everything but she just wouldn’t let him talk. He grabbed her hand as if holding onto it could keep her from emotionally distancing herself from him further. He was so effing scared of losing her completely right now.

Shinhye struggled against him but he overpowered her this time.

“NO YOU DON’T. YOU LOVE SEOHYUN-SSI!” Shinhye yelled back in irritation when she realized she couldn’t shake him off. “SHE KISSED YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!”

Yonghwa was still holding onto her, refusing to let go. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t be calm and collected any longer. He was too exhausted from the events of the day to stay reasonable.

“I DO NOT LOVE THAT WOMAN!” He raised his voice again, feeling his last pieces of self-control slip away.

“YES YOU-“ Shinhye wanted to object furiously again but she couldn’t finish her sentence.

Yonghwa’s face was suddenly right in front of her as his hands firmly cupped her cheeks. His eyes were burning like he wanted to engrave his true feelings into her mind. A split second later his lips were already on hers as he silenced her with a kiss full of possessiveness and unspoken longing.

He caught her completely by surprise. Her first instinct was to move away from him but he just wouldn’t let her. Instead his hands found the back of her head, fervently running through her long hair as he gently but resolutely pulled her closer towards him.

Shinhye could feel her sanity fade away as Yonghwa began to nibble on her lower lip, his tongue was tenderly brushing over her sensitive skin. He bit it softly, teasingly asking for entrance. A tingling sensation was running down her spine as her stiffened body slowly melted into his embrace. He on her lip again while one of his hands was sensually her back now. She moaned softly and he replied to her parted lips by starting to explore with his tongue.