Gong Chan’s POV

“B1A4! You guys will be on for shooting in ten minutes! Get ready!” The intern who came to deliver the news withdrew from the room and shut the door, having more groups he had to brief.

I was sitting on the couch in the makeup studio, playing with the redundant cloth piece that hung from my waist, as I waited for the others to be done.

They were all at different stages of their dressing- Sandeul was wearing his dark chequered blazer, Leader-hyung was having his makeup done, Baro was putting the final touches to his hair, and Shin Woo hyung was having his styled.

I was absently going through the dance steps in my head, trying to do it all while remembering the lyrics I was supposed to sing. We had performed My Love several times already, but that didn’t do much to ease the pre-performance nerves I felt inside.

In addition to that, I was beginning to worry for Shin Woo-hyung again. He had been particularly quiet during practice, and he barely spoke, other than when he sang. His movements and tone conveyed no energy, no conviction. It was like his soul had left his body, like I was looking at nothing but a lifeless shell. The pain had returned in tenfold.

He’ll be able to last through tonight, I told myself determinedly. We have to believe in him.

Baro had taken it upon himself to try and cheer our hyung up, and was enacting out a series of childish antics with his partner in crime, the main vocalist. It was quite entertaining, but all Shin Woo could offer was weak laughter. Eventually, Baro realised that he might be taxing our hyung’s lungs, and went to bother our leader instead.

“You okay, hyung?” I asked him for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. Shin Woo turned, giving me a listless smile and nod. His skin was pale and waxy, and there were obvious dark circles under his eyes, even with makeup on. I acknowledged tersely, knowing that he was lying through his teeth. The sickness had gotten worse.

Every now and then I’d see him in a sudden breath, and his entire body would tense up in pain, before he’d release it a few seconds later.

I’d also learnt this morning that he’d been throwing up through the night, and he’d refused to eat anything since this morning. Only I knew about this- if I told Jin Young hyung, he’d go insane with worry. But it wasn’t much different for me, since anxiety was eating me alive as I sat and idled.

Pain, vomiting, energy loss...

It sounded like stomach flu, but I couldn’t help feeling that something was amiss.

I hadn’t seen a case of stomach flu like this in my entire life. It almost made me afraid...to think that what he’d stumbled upon wasn’t any old virus, which could be treated with antibiotics. To think that this sickness was something much bigger. Bigger than something we could deal with.

But no. Shin Woo-hyung will be okay after tonight. Leader-hyung had already made plans to clear him of the next few days’ schedule, and for us to take him to see the doctor again tomorrow. He’ll be okay, I assured myself over and over again.

A sudden commotion distracted me- Baro was being chased around the studio by our furious hairbrush-wielding makeup noona. Apparently, according to what she and Baro-hyung were shouting, Baro had caused her to make an erratic eyeliner mark on Jin Young’s face while she was doing his makeup.

I laughed with the rest of the room when she finally caught up to him and started thwacking him with the hairbrush, but my grin disappeared as soon as I saw Shin Woo-hyung.

He wasn’t even smiling.

In fact, for a moment, his face seemed to be contorted in agony, and he was gripping his abdomen, hissing in pain. My stomach froze over in fear and I was stunned for a second. In a moment, the pain passed, and he collapsed back into the chair, looking drained and exhausted.

I didn’t know that I was on my feet, I didn’t know that I had started walking towards him, and I didn’t know that my mouth opened to speak.

“Hyung,” I blurted out before I could stop myself, ignoring the ruckus behind us. “You’re not well. We need to pull out, you can’t perform.”

“I am,” Shin Woo barely got the words out, before gasping in pain yet again.

“No,” I tried to say it as firmly as I could to someone almost three years older than me. “You’re not. You can’t even sit without feeling pain, how are you going to dance?”

“We don’t have a choice,” he said through gritted teeth. I bent lower, so I was sure the others wouldn’t hear me.

“I know that you were throwing up last night, hyung. We can tell them you’re sick, they’ll understand, won’t they?” I said in a desperate whisper. “You can’t perform like this, hyung! You’ll strain yourself for sure!”

At the last word, I seized his hand, trying to get my point across, but I dropped it almost instantly.

“Hyung!” I said in shock. His skin was icy and clammy, and I could now see a thin sheen of cold sweat over his pale fingers. I pressed a hand to his forehead immediately. “You’re burning up! Why didn’t you tell us you had a fever?!”

By now, I had the attention of everyone else in the room. The conversation petered out slowly.

“You have a fever?” Jin Young said, brushing away the noona who was trying to fix his accidental eyeliner mark. “That’s it, I’m calling Manager-hyung. We can’t perform.”

“Jin Young,” Shin Woo said weakly. “Forget it. It’s impossible now. He can’t do anything about it.”

Jin Young frowned, halfway in the action of dialling in our manager’s number.

“I don’t understand,” Shin Woo said, in barely above a whisper. “The medicine was supposed to have fixed the worst of it by now.”

“Well, it hasn’t,” Baro said flatly. “Hyung, you can’t perform. We have to pull out.”

Jin Young stood up, heading for the door to talk to the producer of the show, but before he could get within arm’s reach, the door opened again.

“B1A4,” it was one of the cameramen. “You’re on next. Please go to the stage area to await your turn.”

“Wait!” I suddenly called out, before he turned to leave. “Dong Woo-hyung’s not feeling too well. Is it still possible for us to pull out?”

“We cannot entertain any such last-minute requests,” the cameraman said shortly, before leaving the room.

Sandeul opened his mouth to shout indignities after the man, but Jin Young stopped him, deep in thought.

“Hyung,” he said slowly, turning to Shin Woo. “Do you think you could just give performing a try tonight?”

“You’re still considering making him perform?!” Baro spluttered. “Are you even looking at him?! He looks like a walking corpse, for crying out loud!”

“We don’t have a choice!” Jin Young snapped. “We’ll just have to go to the hospital after this.”

Shin Woo nodded at this point, but even that seemed to cause him pain. “Let’s just get this over with.”

We filed out onto the stage, Sandeul and Baro going to the right, Jin Young to the middle, and Shin Woo-hyung and I on the left.

As the music began to play, I winced, hearing the strained words that left our hyung’s lips. His face was blank, to prevent the pain from showing, and as he swung to grip my shoulder, his fingers dug into my skin, and I gasped accidentally. Immediately, he relished his grip, apologising silently, and I hastily whispered back that it was okay. Thankfully, the camera was now on Sandeul and Baro, so our brief mistake had been overlooked.

All too soon, it was Shin Woo hyung’s turn to sing, but I didn’t dare to look at him, since the camera was once again on us. To my surprise, he managed to sing the first part of the pre-chorus without once cracking or faltering. I was so blown over with relief that I almost forgot to step up and sing next. Maybe the pain had gone away?

I went through the next steps with ease, my confidence that we would finish shooting growing with every passing second. We were going to make it. The sensation was like discovering that an exam you thought you were screwed for turned out to be easy as cake. I couldn’t help but grin as we continued to dance.

Before I knew it, we were into the chorus, and everything was going fine, from my point of view. Jin Young-hyung stepped up to sing the second verse, his voice perfect as usual, as the backup dancers appeared from the stage side. I opened the pre-chorus next, going through the routine smoothly and inwardly sighing in relief.

Once I was done, all of us fell into synchronised formation. It was Shin Woo hyung’s turn to close up the pre-chorus, and I waited for his voice to lead the music recording, my eyes focused solely on the camera.

It never came.

Frowning, I stole a glance in his direction, and I almost died of shock on the spot. Four voices shouted out the same word at the same time.

“HYUNG!”

Shin Woo had collapsed to his knees on the glassy stage floor, a stricken look clouding his dark eyes, a hand tightly clutching his abdomen. His silvery mike let out a long wail of feedback as it clattered onto the stage.

The music kept playing, the cameras kept rolling, but none of us cared. The crew was running around below the stage, trying to calm the studio audience down.

All of us were surrounding him, shouting his name, demanding to know what was wrong. Jin Young was dialling the hospital emergency number with shaky fingers, Baro was shouting for the crew to get a doctor, Sandeul was just panicking and crying.

“Hyung!” I pushed past Sandeul, down on my knees beside Shin Woo hyung. “Hyung, what’s wrong?!”

Shin Woo’s eyes widened momentarily, and he suddenly reared back, arching his back, and an unearthly shriek of pain escaped his throat.

It shocked me to the bone.

“HELP ME!” his cries wrung the air, freezing my blood over. I’d never seen him like this before. He was clawing at his stomach, his eyes wide and bloodshot, jerking uncontrollably.

“What’s happening!?” Baro was shouting, beginning to panic himself. “Hyung you have to tell us what’s wrong!”

“MAKE IT STOP!” Shin Woo was screaming, kicking out convulsively. “PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP HURTING!”

“HYUNG!” I had burst into a wave of tears, backing off in fear.

“The ambulance’s here!” Someone from behind was shouting. Paramedics in white pushed past us, carrying an orange stretcher.

I was still crying my heart out, and I didn’t know why. I just felt so scared seeing him like this. Like my entire world had just been upended and destroyed.

He’d never raised his voice around us before, never lost control, never showed any emotion other than the smiles we wore around our fans. He was like my father throughout our career. To see him this broken and in pain shattered the image of the constant, steady man I thought I knew.

I was on my knees, tears blinding me as I watched them take him away. Another wave of emotion overwhelmed me, and before I knew it, I had sunk into a second deluge of tears.

A protective arm wrapped around my shoulders, and I was pulled into someone’s embrace.

“Shhh, Channie, he’ll be alright,” It was Jin Young hyung. His voice trembled dangerously, and I could tell he was just as frightened as I was. I bawled my lungs out on his shoulder, as Baro and Sandeul joined the hug. They needed to feel secure and safe as much as I did right now.

But how would I ever feel safe again without Shin Woo hyung around?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Author's Note:

I love my JinChan. Full stop.

So Shinwoo's illness has finally reached its breaking point. Has anyone guessed what it is yet? :3 A prize to whoever guesses correctly! (Okay, not really but still...try it! I like seeing what you guys think :D) 

I was looking at my story page yesterday and I just realised how freaking depressing all my stories look... :(  A Maknae's Tears looks the most down so far...this is so unlike me O.O My anime fan fiction bank is overflowing with fluff and thrillers (I know it sounds like a weird combo but it's actually quite good to work with) and here I am writing depressing Kpop fics...but...I hope you guys like them anyway :) 

And if you like Here and Gone, you might like this story as well ^^ Give it a bit of love :) *twirls*

THANK YOU SO MUCH to all my FANTASTIC subscribers! :D You guys are the light of my aff life ^^ Thank you for your comments as well :) *bows* So...if there are any new readers here, please do subscribe and comment if you like what you've read :D Because it's about to get a lot fluffier. (Or...more depressing...depends on how you look at it...hehe)

Sincerely
WhiteWings19

P.S. That picture up there is FANART. Do you believe it? I still can't. Whoever did that is an amazing genius. I can't get the author's name, and it's NOT MINE. I can only lie on my bed and wish I could draw that well. Gah...why geniuses why? Why must you make all people feel so inferior. WHY GENIUSES WHY???