Practice was carried out in silence. Gong Chan got his dance steps mixed up, Baro kept tripping over his rap, and Sandeul actually forgot the lyrics when it was his turn to sing. But I couldn’t bring myself to scold them- I knew why we were all so distracted. It got worse with every passing minute. I checked my watch before pressing the stop button on the CD player in our studio.

11.30 am.

Why wasn’t he here yet? Surely his appointment couldn’t be that long…had something happened? How would we even know if something did happen? Why weren’t we there with him? We should have gone with him, shouldn’t we?

Gripping my forehead, I let out a frustrated groan.

“Break,” I said hoarsely, even though I had called for one barely half an hour ago. We all disjointed off into our own break areas, and I walked wearily to grab my bottle and chug half of it down, hoping it’d wash away the guilt I felt right now.

“Hyung?” A voice from behind almost made me drop my bottle. I whirled around to see Gong Chan looking at me, holding his own bottle.

“Did hyungnim tell you what sickness it was?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think even he knows. But it shouldn’t be anything serious, maybe just mild food poisoning?”

The last sentence was said to assure myself more than it was to assure him.

“The doctor can fix it…” Gong Chan said uneasily. “…right?”

It was the first show of doubt I had seen from him so far. I mentally slapped myself for seeming so unsure. I’m the leader, I’m supposed to be strong enough to lead them through this, not bring them down with my worry.

“Yeah, of course,” I said, forcing a smile. “Hyung will be fine. There’s no need to worry.”

Gong Chan nodded at my confirmation, looking happier now.

I sat down silently, trying to push the emotions away by going through our routine in my head. It worked- but only for a while. Before long, I was worrying again. And by the look of it, the others were feeling the same.

Thoughts were colliding furiously in my mind. Get up, you don’t have time to worry. You have a performance tomorrow and you’re slacking.

No, your friend and band mate is sick. You should be suffocating in guilt right now. You weren’t there for him when he probably needed you most.

I absently picked up my cell phone for the hundredth time, checking for any messages or missed calls. None.

Maybe I should just try calling him then? I entered my contact list, tapping in his name, but hesitated. What if he was in the middle of something important?

It doesn’t matter. You have the right to know what’s happening with him.

Resolving my emotions, I pressed the call button, and put the phone to my ear. To my surprise, he picked up on the third ring.

“Hyung?” I said, and immediately, the other three members perked up.

“Jin Young,” Shin Woo sounded like he was expecting my call. “Are you guys in the practice studio now?”

“Uh, yeah,” I said, wondering what he was getting at. “Where are you? What happened? We’ve been worrying like crazy.”

There was a pause. “I’ll tell you when I see you guys.”

“Wait, you haven’t answered my first question,” I said urgently, afraid that he would hang up.

“Oh, where am I?” Shin Woo repeated, in a much lighter tone. “I’m right outside.”

“Outside?” I said incredulously, and we all turned to the door at once.

Just then, there was a click at the door, and it swung open. Gong Chan cheered.

“Hyung! You’re back!”

“Have you guys been practicing?” Shin Woo asked warningly as he walked in, two paper bags in tow. I was overcome with waves of relief to see that he looked much better now; the colour had returned to his face, and he wasn’t wincing in pain at every movement. “I bought lunch so we wouldn’t have to go out later.”

“Yah, hyung, what took you so long?” Baro asked, completely ignoring the paper bags. Shin Woo shrugged sheepishly.

“I went back to the dorm to rest awhile after the appointment. I should’ve dropped you guys a text message or something, I’m sorry. The medicine and rest worked wonders, though.”

“What did the doctor say it was?” Jin Young cut to the chase. He was glad that their hyung looked better, but he knew they weren’t out of the woods yet.

“According to the symptoms, it looks like stomach flu,” Shin Woo placed the food on the rickety wooden table in the studio. “He said so long as I slept and continued taking the prescriptions, I ought to get better soon.”

“Then you should be at the dorm, resting,” Sandeul insisted.

“I’m fine,” Shin Woo protested, and the rest of them looked to me to make him go back to rest. I bit my lip in anxiety.

We do have a performance tomorrow...he needs to practice as much as we do. But he needs to rest too...

After a few seconds, I came upon a compromise. It seemed the best thing to do right now.

“Alright, hyung, you can stay here with us, but only to watch and sing,” I said firmly. “Your stomach will only get worse if you dance.”

Strange, though. Why did he react like that when Gong Chan shook him, then? Stomach flu didn’t do things like that...did it?

Shin Woo nodded, understanding, and the others seemed to think this was a good idea as well.

The mood in the room took a definite upturn after that. We decided to have an early lunch while the food was still hot, our appetites suddenly returning to us after the long morning of anxiety. Baro and Sandeul entertained us with a long story about their own stomach flu experiences, and Gong Chan was laughing so hard he could barely eat.

I kept a watchful eye on our hyung, but he seemed to be quite okay now, laughing along with the rest of us.

Aish, maybe Sandeul was right. I’m getting too stressed over nothing.

After our meal, I relayed to them the events that would be taking place tomorrow. Our Music Core shooting would start at 7pm, so we would have to eat a “lunch--dinner” at 4 to prevent indigestion later. Other than that, we’d be practicing all the way through tomorrow. 

I just hope there won’t be any relapses till after then.

As soon as we entered the dorm that night, Baro went to collapse on the sofa and complain that his legs hurt, before breaking into a long list of reasons why. Most of them had to do with me and my insane notion that all-day practice was good. It continued like this for a while until Sandeul sat on him to shut him up.

Since it was my turn to have the first shower, I could do nothing but roll my eyes as I collected my sleeping clothes. Gong Chan had the television while waiting for me to finish, and Shin Woo sat a couple of seats away, eyes lidded as he stoned in silence.

I frowned slightly. He had been growing quieter as the day passed, and the way he hissed whenever he moved told me the pain had returned to stay. It was frustrating- I was beginning to doubt the fact that he’d be able to perform tomorrow. We needed this performance to give us a boost in our ratings now, and turning down an opportunity to sing at Music Core would definitely bruise our chances of being able to sing there in the future, especially now that it was so late. But what if he wasn’t able to stand it?

Just as my fingers closed on the bathroom doorknob, however, I heard my name being called.

“Hyung,” Gong Chan said from the sofa, looking up from my iPhone. “It’s manager-hyung. He wants to speak to you.”

What...? Why?

“Uh...okay,” I walked up to take the phone, my heart suddenly pounding faster with anxiety. “Why don’t you shower first, then, Chanshik?”

“Okay, hyung!” Gong Chan said, springing up. “I’ll be quick!”

And he sped off to grab his clothes.

Smiling slightly at how cute he could be, I put the phone to my ear.

“Manager-hyung?”

“Jin Young-ah,” our manager sounded slightly worried. “I heard Dong Woo went to the doctor this morning. What happened?”

“Just a stomach flu,” I said, feeling uneasy again. It’s relapsing, and I don’t know what to do, manager-hyung.

“Is he in fit condition to perform tomorrow?”

Biting my lip, I tried to weigh out the signs I had seen today. He looked better after resting this morning, but it was beginning to come back now. Would he be better tomorrow morning if he slept well tonight?

“Hang on, manager-hyung,” I shifted my thumb over the receiver, before turning to Shin Woo. “How do you feel?”

“Not too good,” Shin Woo admitted. “But I’ll be better tomorrow. The doctor said the medicine might need some time to take effect.”

I nodded, but his words seemed to seep by like liquid through a strain. He was hurting- it was more than obvious. I couldn’t remember the last time I had stomach flu, if I had ever even contracted the illness in the first place, so I didn’t know a thing about recovery and treatment.

For the first time in months, I was at a loss to the right thing to do.

You need this performance. If you cancel it now, people will think that B1A4’s sloppy and indecisive, and Music Core will think twice before having B1A4 on the show. But if you go with it, Shin Woo might strain himself and get hurt.

As the two options lashed out unmercifully in my head, I felt the speaker on my phone buzz, meaning that Manager was talking again.

“Jin Young. If you need to pull out, say it now,” Manager-hyung said urgently. “They might not even accept at this hour.”

I took a deep breath. I had no choice. “We’re going ahead with the show tomorrow. There’s no need to pull out.”

“Okay,” Manager sounded relieved. “Make sure Dong Woo takes his medicines and gets rest. The car will be over to pick you up at 5pm tomorrow.”

“Hai,” I said numbly, before hanging up. My eyes lingered on the piece of blank wall I had been staring at, as my mind mulled over what I had just done.

“Manager says to take your prescriptions and sleep early,” I told Shin Woo, averting his eyes. “You can shower after Gong Chan’s done.”

I didn’t wait to see him acknowledge before turning away and ambling to my room, where I sat down heavily on my bed, ignoring the creaking protest of the mattress.

Why the hell do I feel so guilty? I was doing the right thing for B1A4, wasn’t I?

But I knew why emotions were pounding away at my head. The reason screamed out at me like an erratic splash of black on a pure white canvas.

If something happens to Shin Woo hyung tomorrow, it would be all my fault.

The world seemed to blur out around me. Time became an obscure notion in my mind. I didn’t know how long I spent sitting there, glossing over the razor-sharp stakes of guilt that pierced my conscience with pathetic excuses. Before I knew it, tears had pooled in my eyes.

Stop being so weak, Jin Young. You’re supposed to know what the right decisions to make are, and carry them out. You don’t have time to cry over yourself like this.

I was so lost in thought that I barely noticed the youngest member walk jauntily into the room, a towel around his neck.

“Hyung?”

I sprang out of my thoughts, hastily brushing my tears away, looking around. “Channie? What is it?”

“Are you okay?” He plopped down beside me. “You seemed preoccupied.”

“It’s nothing,” I shook my head, cursing myself for once again causing my group members to worry. “Just a little worried about tomorrow, that’s all.”

To my surprise, Chanshik shifted closer to me, before leaning gently on my shoulder. I could feel his damp curls pressed against my neck, the warmth of his body against mine.

Though it was unexpected, it brought comfort, like a mass of dead weight had been unloaded from my back.

“Don’t worry,” he said, and I could feel his smile against my skin. “Shin Woo-hyung’s going to be okay. He just needs to rest and he’ll be fine.”

I remained silent, letting his words sink in. They felt like showers of mercy from heaven compared to the deadened lies I had been feeding myself. What he said made me truly believe that our hyung was going to be okay.

“Thanks Chanshik,” I said softly. “I needed that.”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Author's Note:

When I say there's going to be friendship fluff, I MEAN it :D

How did you guys find this chapter? Please do drop a comment below :) Xie xie.

It's been about three days (?) since I updated because SCHOOL HAS STARTED. Honestly it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but the way the teachers make it sound, it's about to get a lot worse O.O And I was greatly insulted this morning. I'm still pissed off about it.

I was on my way up to my new classroom, and while I was walking in the corridor, I caught wind of what two girls were talking about behind me.

Annoying Girl 1: Ohemgee did you watch blahblahblahsomethingIcan'tbebotheredtoremember?

Annoying Girl 2: Blahblahblah unimportant response.

Annoying Girl 1: Blablahblah infinite was so cool! Oh but did you see B1A4?

Annoying GIrl 2: Who?

*big insult number 1*

Annoying Girl 1: They were so sh*t! They can't even perform!

*big insult number 2*

Annoying Girl 2: blablablah something about SHINee (who are awesome by the way ^^)

Annoying Girl 1: Blablablah even SNSD performed better than B1A4!

And I was like...

...

...

*mentally turns around and slaps both girls into oblivion*

First of all, you don't compare a GIRL group that's garnered at least two years of experience to a rookie BOY group. They don't even have the same number of members. 

SECOND OF ALL, DON'T YOU DARE CRITICISE MY BOYS LIKE THAT. THEY WORKED HARD FOR THAT PERFORMANCE YOU JUST BLEW OFF AS "SH*T".

If it weren't for the fact that there were new primary school girls milling around I would've started World War 3 on those girls. Now I'm so pissed...

But on the positive side, I found a BANA to fangirl with! 8D YAYYYYYYYY!!!!

So...I might not be able to update as frequently now that I will be cramming on Shakespeare until my brain explodes, but my updates will get longer :) I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! :D Subscriptions and comments appreciated as always! 

Sincerely
WhiteWIngs19