Sanghyuk wasn’t surprised to wake up to the sound of crying again. It sounded so close, too! And so incredibly sad and heartbroken that his own heart ached just from hearing it.

Wrapping the blanket around himself and lighting the lamp on his dresser, he once again headed out to find the source of the heart-wrenching cries, taking care not to let his thoughts wander.

It was futile, though; the further he walked along the dark hallways, following the sound, the quieter it got. When he returned to his room, the cries got louder, as if they were coming from inside his chambers.

Just to make sure, he checked on Hongbin again, reassuring himself he wasn’t really the one crying, but no. The servant was asleep, and while his face looked a little troubled, he wasn’t crying.

Sanghyuk stepped into the hallway again, but with a few more tired sniffles, the crying ceased. Sighing, Sanghyuk returned to bed.

When he entered the breakfast salon the next morning, he was surprised to find Hongbin there waiting for him instead of the butler. He raised a mocking eyebrow.

“Oh? So today it’s you who’s coming to excuse Lord Hakyeon for leaving me to eat alone again?”

Hongbin shrunk under his biting words, but not far.

“No. Lord Sanghyuk, I want to apologize for upsetting you. I know now how you feel about apologies, but still, I want to beg for your forgiveness if my behavior hurt you. It was never my intention, and while I do believe Lord Hakyeon must have a reason to avoid you if that is what he’s doing, I do understand why that upsets you and don’t agree with his behavior towards you.”

Sanghyuk waved his hand dismissively, letting himself fall into the chair he’d claimed as his and motioning for Hongbin to sit down as well.

Hongbin’s apology would do nothing about Lord Hakyeon avoiding him, and even if the servant had ways to contact the other Lord, Sanghyuk wasn’t going to ask Hongbin to do anything about it. It wouldn’t be fair to put the servant in an uncomfortable position between the two of them.

“Lord Hakyeon was your lord before I was, and has been for a longer time than I’ve been. Your loyalties are torn between the two of us, and that’s understandable.” He sighed, letting his eyes roam over his breakfast but not missing the uncomfortable way Hongbin shifted in his seat.

“They shouldn’t be. I should be unconditionally loyal to you!” The servant gritted out between clenched teeth.

“But you aren’t. And it’s not a choice of the brain, but one of the heart in this case. There is nothing you can do about it.”

Hongbin hung his head low as Sanghyuk spoke a truth he didn’t want to hear.

“I no longer blame you, Hongbin. You are free to choose who your heart belongs to, and if it’s not me there is nothing I can do about it.”

Hongbin forced himself to look up again, meeting Sanghyuk’s gaze with his own troubled one.

“I want to be unconditionally loyal to you, Sanghyuk-ah! You’ve always been incredibly good to me, and I know how lucky I got to end up serving you. If I could choose, I would always choose you over everyone else!”

“Everyone, yes, except Lord Hakyeon, because he’s the one your loyalties belonged to first and foremost, before me.”

Hongbin hung his head again.

“I wish I could change that. I wish it wouldn’t be that way.”

Sanghyuk sighed.

“Don’t, Hongbin. For Lord Hakyeon to be deserving of your heart like that, he must be better to you than I am, and also better to you than he is proving to be to me. My troubles aren’t yours and I trust your judgement regarding what’s best for you. If you’d rather work for him, you are free to do so. I’ll let you out of your contract without consequences.”

Hongbin paled.

“No! That’s not what I want! Sanghyuk- Lord Sanghyuk, please! I’ll- I want to keep working for you! I’ll try, really hard. I- I… If you let me, I’ll talk to Lord Hakyeon and find out why he has yet to talk to you and do my best to make sure he does! I-“

“Hongbin…” Sanghyuk interrupted him, shaking his head. “Even if you keep serving me, you are not supposed to fight my battles. I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire should Lord Hakyeon and I fall out with each other eventually. I don’t want you to fall into his bad graces because of me. It’s your choice if you want to keep serving me or go to him, but you better make it before it’s too late.”

Sanghyuk stood up and left at that, his breakfast barely touched, leaving a Hongbin behind who was close to tears.

He was still fighting down his tears when he returned Sanghyuk’s barely touched breakfast to the kitchens.

The other servants caught up to his state immediately.

“Binnie… What happened?”

“Did you get in trouble with your master?”

“Was he mean to you?”

Hongbin shook his head quickly.

“No! He wasn’t mean to me! He’s being too good to me, that’s what’s wrong. And I don’t deserve it!”

“Binnie, you only deserve the best from everyone.” Wonshik rested a comforting hand on Hongbin’s shoulder, but Hongbin didn’t want the comfort.

“Not when I’m being like this to him!”

“Like what? You’re serving him well, what more could he want?”

Hongbin gave Jaehwan a long and meaningful look, but it was Taekwoon who understood it first.

“Oh… He’s like that to you… Like Hakyeon… He’s more than a master.”

Hongbin flinched, hiding his face as he answered.

“He is… He’s like a friend. And now…”

“Now you’re torn.”

Hongbin didn’t want to hear it again, so he turned to leave.

“I need a moment.” He announced, stalking out of the kitchen towards the servant quarters, just to run into someone as soon as the door had fallen shut behind him.

“Sorry! I’m… sorry. Hakyeon-hyung, I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking.”

Hakyeon shook his head, steadying Hongbin before letting go.

“Neither was I. But… what’s wrong, Hongbin?” The Lord’s eyebrows knitted as he took in Hongbin’s face.

“Ah… It’s nothing.”

Hakyeon’s frown deepened.

“It’s something. Lord Sanghyuk reprimanded you again, didn’t he?”

Hongbin shook his head violently.

“No! He didn’t! Why does everyone think that?!”

“I heard him last night.”

Hongbin flinched.

“He was right to be mad!”

“At you?”

Hongbin flinched again, Hakyeon’s gaze way too knowing.

“Yes, at me, too.”

“And at who else?”

Hongbin bit his lip and averted his gaze, not wanting to answer.

“At me, I assume…” Hakyeon mused, and Hongbin couldn’t meet his eyes, confirming his suspicion.

“I guess he’s mad at me because I haven’t met him yet… And rightly so. But…” he sighed heavily. “But he’ll hate me even more after he meets me…” A profound sadness settled in his voice and eyes that took Hongbin’s breath away.

“Hyung… Why would he hate you? Once he gets to know you, I’m sure he won’t. I’m sure you might even get along really well and possibly become friends!”

Hakyeon smiled sadly, resting a hand on Hongbin’s shoulder.

“He won’t want to get to know me. One look at me and he’ll hate me, just like everyone else I meet…”

Hongbin was taken aback.

“Hyung, that’s not true! Look at us, me, and Wonshik and Jaehwan-hyung and Taekwoon-hyung, and all the others! No one hates you!”

Hakyeon shook his head again.

“No, Binnie, you don’t, but… You weren’t here anymore when it happened… When my father died, I got cursed. Everyone I met for the first time from that day on hates me as soon as they see my face.”

Hongbin’s jaw dropped.

“Hyung, that can’t be true-…”

“But it is, Hongbin. In my grief I insulted the healer for failing to save my father when he died, and in retaliation the witch cursed me. There is more to the curse, but everyone hating me at first glance is the worst part of it.”

Hongbin couldn’t believe what he heard. Against better judgement he stepped forward and hugged the man who’d been more of an older brother to him throughout all of his childhood than a Lord.

“Oh, hyung… I don’t know what to say. Can the curse be broken? I’m sure it can, they can always be broken. If anyone can break the curse, I’m sure Sanghyuk will be it, hyung. He won’t hate you.”

Hakyeon was taken aback by the hug at first, but soon returned it, biting his lip to keep his tears in check. Oh, if only Hongbin could be right… But he knew better than to hope.

***

Hongbin witnessed the effects of the curse first hand later that week. He was hiding at the top of the stairs when the guests arrived, at Hakyeon’s request watching out to keep Sanghyuk away should he decide to descend into the foyer at the same time Hakyeon was greeting the newcomers.

The entourage arriving in an ostentatiously decorated carriage consisted of a young lady who wanted to become Sanghyuk’s wife, dragging her father after her to barter with Hakyeon for his hand for her, as well as more servants than anyone could possibly need for the short journey from their lands to Hakyeon’s.

As soon as the commotion started outside, Sanghyuk appeared at the top of the stairs, next to him.

“Lord Sanghyuk! Don’t go down there, the Lady is here to ask for your hand, and Lord Hakyeon already warned me that she has quite the temper… It’s for the better if you stay out of sight…”

Sanghyuk froze, knowing all too well how these meetings went from his father. He’d only made the mistake of showing himself during one of those meetings once, and the Lady who’d been there to ask for his hand that day had lost all of her inhibitions. All that was left in his memory was that they had to refurnish the guest salon afterwards, his father had sported a black eye for a week, and guards had been posted in front of his door and followed him everywhere for almost a year.

He didn’t need a repeat of that, and so he stayed at the top of the stairs with Hongbin as they eavesdropped on the conversation in the foyer below.

At first the conversation was cordial, two men exchanging the typical pleasantries, and Hongbin whispered to Sanghyuk who of them was Lord Hakyeon. Sanghyuk could have figured that out on his own, since the other part was unmistakably an elderly man, but he nodded regardless. The two seemed to have known each other for a while, asking about the other’s family and business, but then their conversation was interrupted by a woman.

“Oh, Lord Hakyeon! I have heard so much about you, all good of course. Father, why don’t you introduce me?!” She started off with a sugar-sweet voice, which then changed in the split of a second.

“On second thought: don’t, father! What I’ve heard must have been lies! God, you are despicable! How are you a Lord?! You are less than the filth under my shoes, I can’t believe I got tricked to come to your house- no, this pig-pen! You disgust me, filthy scum! I wish you were dead! Father, let’s leave! I can’t stand a single second longer in this abominable monster’s presence!”

With more screeched curses and insults, the young Lady stormed outside, where she could be heard screaming orders at her servants to get the carriage ready to leave immediately. Meanwhile, the silence in the foyer was deafening for a moment longer, before the old man could be heard again, his voice stuttering and feeble.

“I am so, so incredibly sorry, Lord Hakyeon. I have no idea what possessed my daughter, this is not like her at all! I certainly made sure she had better manners, I can’t- I don’t understand what overcame her! My most demure apologies, Lord Hakyeon! I don’t know what to say-“

Lord Hakyeon interrupted him then, his voice infinitely tired.

“It’s alright, Lord Inguk. It’s not your or your daughter’s fault.”

“No, Lord Hakyeon! I heard my daughter, and her behavior was inexcusable!”

“I assure you, I don’t resent either of you. The young lady isn’t at fault, nor are you. Please, don’t reprimand your child. Just- Please excuse me as I take my leave. My butler will show you out.” With that, heavy footsteps could be heard, and then a door opening and falling shut.

When Sanghyuk looked at Hongbin, his own eyes wide with shock, he was surprised to see the servant’s face covered in tears.

“Hongbin?”

“He didn’t deserve that. He doesn’t- He doesn’t deserve any of that! How dare she- How dare that witch do that to him!”

A sob wrecked Hongbin’s body, and shaking his head, completely disregarding Sanghyuk’s presence, he ran off.

Sanghyuk stood rooted to his spot for a moment longer, looking after where Hongbin disappeared.

He didn’t understand what he’d just witnessed. From one moment to the next, the Lady –who apparently had never met Lord Hakyeon before- turned bitter hatred at him. It didn’t seem right to him, something was definitely wrong in that picture, but he also couldn’t help thinking… If the Lord managed to elicit such a reaction at first glance, then how much could -or rather: should- he trust him?!

Shaken to his core, Sanghyuk pulled himself together and went back to his chambers. They felt stuffy, though, and grabbing his jacket he decided to head out into the gardens to collect his thoughts.

***

Sanghyuk wandered aimlessly through the gardens, unable to just sit down somewhere and needing to keep moving. He couldn’t wrap his mind around what he’d witnessed from the top of the stairs earlier, and Hongbin’s shaken expression wouldn’t leave his mind, either. He’d witnessed Hongbin upset before, but never crying. He must really care for the Lord…

Well, despite not really caring for the Lord and being rather angry at him instead for ignoring him for more than a week now despite him living under the same roof, he had to admit he didn’t think he deserved the heated words the Lady had thrown at him.

From what he’d heard from the conversation between the Lord and the Lady’s father, the Lord had been nothing but cordial and genuine, and his reaction to the outbreak… It wasn’t that of a mean person; on the contrary.

Sanghyuk was almost tempted to forgive the Lord his rudeness of ignoring his presence and to believe Hongbin when he stated that he must have a good reason to avoid him. Almost.

He kept wandering through the garden, finding a hidden path behind a fountain in the shape of a merman that he hadn’t explored before. It was narrow and the bushes grew taller and taller the further he went, and once it opened into a small clearing with a prancing unicorn statue, he froze.

He wasn’t sure if he was hearing right, but he thought he’d heard the sound of someone crying quietly; it sounded almost like the crying sounds he’d been hearing and investigating every night since he’d arrived, but this time he was sure they were way closer than he’d ever come to them in the castle.

He stayed quiet, attentive, and after a short while he head another sob, a sniffling and forced deep breaths, as if someone was desperately trying to force themselves to calm down.

Furrowing his brow, Sanghyuk looked closely around the clearing to find from which direction the cries were coming, and followed the path to his left. His feet barely made a sound on the sandy walkway as he investigated, but he wasn’t as ready to find the source of the crying as he’d thought he was. He quickly hid behind a tall bush when he found the hidden nook with a single stone bench where the crying person was sitting with their back to him.

Carefully, he peeked around the edge again, taking in the figure sitting there.

It looked like a young man, wearing fine clothing much the likes of Sanghyuk’s, but that wasn’t what surprised him; it was the person’s hair that took him aback, of such an unnaturally bright red it seemed to glow from within.

Sanghyuk had never seen hair like that, but when he saw the shaking shoulders of the man, he decided it wasn’t as important right now. He took a deep breath, and stepped out from behind the bush, clearing his throat to announce his presence.

Instantly, the man froze.

“Stop! Who are you?”

He asked, not turning around to face Sanghyuk, who took a couple of tentative steps towards him.

“I’m Lord Sanghyuk. I’ve been living here for a week. Are you alright?”

“Don’t come closer!” the other sounded as if he was close to panicking, and Sanghyuk stopped momentarily, before taking another step.

“Please, just stay where you are!”

Sanghyuk stopped definitely, confusion knitting his brow.

“A-alright… I just… wanted to check on you, I heard you crying.”

“I’m- I’m fine. Please don’t come closer and don’t look at me.”

Sanghyuk’s brow knitted further at the request.

“Why?” He asked, against better judgement and manners.

“I’m… ugly.” The man answered, hiding his face in his hands, and Sanghyuk took another step towards him.

“We’re all ugly after crying, I won’t judge you for it.”

“Don’t!” The man exclaimed again as he heard Sanghyuk’s steps, hiding his face further and tensing all over, making Sanghyuk halt again.

“That’s not… That’s not it. I’m… disfigured.”

Sanghyuk’s expression morphed into one of sympathy, despite the other not being able to see it.

“I won’t judge you for that, either, you know. Or stare at you or something.”

The man whimpered.

“You might not, but I still don’t want you to see my face. Please.”

It was such a desperate plea that Sanghyuk couldn’t go against it, and he nodded behind the other’s back.

“Alright, I won’t look at your face, promise. Can I sit down next to you, though? I’ll keep my back to you, and I won’t peek, I swear.”

The man hesitated before nodding.

“Alright. But, please, do keep your promise…”

“I will!” Sanghyuk reiterated before sitting down, with his back to the other.

“Why were you crying?” He asked then, not forgetting the reason that had led him to find the other.

It took a moment before the other answered.

“I had… a bad morning. Something… something went terribly wrong… again. I mean, I knew it would, but still… it was bad.”

Sanghyuk nodded in silence.

“I’m sorry to hear that. But if you knew it would go wrong, why did you do it?”

The other sighed.

“I didn’t have a choice.”

Sanghyuk supposed that was a valid answer.

“That’s really unfortunate…”

The other hummed in answer, and they sat in silence for a moment, until Sanghyuk remembered something.

“Do you live here, too?” He asked then, wondering what the other was doing in the castle gardens, since they were private property.

The man didn’t answer immediately, letting the silence stretch for a moment longer.

 “I do.” He eventually answered, making Sanghyuk wonder again.

“Oh… Excuse my tactlessness, but… Do you… Do you happen to cry at night, too? Because I’ve been hearing someone cry every night since I arrived a little over a week ago…”

Despite not seeing him or touching him, Sanghyuk could feel that the other was tensing up behind him.

“Y-you did? Ah-… That… That could have been me, yes. I’m sorry for bothering you… Our chimneys must be connected for you to be able to hear me…”

It was Sanghyuk’s turn to be taken aback.

“Wait, you know where my rooms are? Did you know about me being here, too?”

The other shifted on the stone bench.

“I do. I saw you when you arrived, and have seen you a couple of times more in the gardens, too.”

Sanghyuk huffed.

“And you didn’t come to introduce yourself? I had no idea someone else lived here, too, besides me! Is it some kind of weird habit out here that people don’t come to introduce themselves?”

The other shifted again.

“I don’t-… Whenever I can, I tend to avoid others. With my face… I don’t like people seeing me.”

Sanghyuk suddenly felt sheepish.

“Ah-… I’m sorry. Of course, I didn’t think about that. I guess you are excused, then.”

The other chuckled lightly, and Sanghyuk swore his heart stopped for the fraction of a second at the sound.

“That sounds terribly like a ‘you are, but someone else is not!’…” He prompted, and Sanghyuk huffed.

“You are very perceptive… Do you know Lord Hakyeon?”

Silence answered him for a moment before the other answered.

“Of course… It’s his house.”

“Right, that’s true. So that means you’ve met him?”

Again, a moment of silence.

“Yes, you can say that.”

Sanghyuk didn’t focus on the strange wording.

“See, there you are a good step ahead of me, because even though I arrived over a week ago, I haven’t seen hide nor hair of him. Not even a greeting when I arrived. Only excuses brought to me via the butler why he isn’t able to meet me at any given occasion.”

Once again, the man stayed silent for a moment longer, thinking his words through before he answered Sanghyuk.

“That really bothers you, huh?”

Sanghyuk huffed.

“Of course it does! I mean, I live in his household now, and not even so much as a tiny welcome… How am I supposed to feel about that? And what’s more… He’s the one supposed to decide who I am going to marry one day, and… It’s not really reassuring when you don’t even get to know the person who’s going to decide about your whole future, don’t even know if they care at all…!”

Sanghyuk vented, not knowing or caring why he trusted a complete stranger with his most private thoughts and feelings.

“Hmm, I guess you are right to be mad at him…”

Sanghyuk sighed, deflating a little.

“I mean, I know I’m a nuisance and such, and I don’t expect him to keep me company all day or entertain me in some way. I definitely don’t expect him to like me, but… It would be nice if he at least acknowledged my existence and showed the least bit of interest in me as a person, even if just to know what might be of importance when choosing my future spouse…”

“I don’t think he sees you as a nuisance, Lord Sanghyuk. And I’m sure he has a good reason not to meet you just yet.” The other answered after a moment, and Sanghyuk huffed.

“You sound just like Hongbin. He won’t let a single doubt about Lord Hakyeon stand unfought, either.”

“Hongbin is way too kind…”

Sanghyuk sat up at that, almost forgetting his promise not to turn around to look at the man.

“You know Hongbin?!”

A hum answered him.

“I’ve known Hongbin for all of his life.”

“So you grew up here, too?”

“Yes.”

“So Hongbin knows you, too. And about your…uhm, your…” Sanghyuk didn’t know a tactful way to word his question.

“My face?”

Sanghyuk sighed in relief when the other completed his question for him.

“Yes.”

Silence answered him again.

“He found out recently. But I’d rather you didn’t ask him about me or my… problem. I’d rather if you asked me anything about myself personally, should you be interested.”

Sanghyuk gaped and stuttered at that, blushing in embarrassment.

“O-of course! I didn’t-… I wasn’t-… I didn’t mean to- Where would I find you if I wanted to talk to you?”

He could hear the other’s smile as he answered.

“I spend a lot of time out here in the gardens… Mostly in the hidden parts. If you want to come find me, just call for me and I’ll probably hear you and come over.”

Sanghyuk’s mood lifted significantly at the prospect of having found someone to talk to in this bleak castle.

“I will- Wait! I don’t even know your name!”

The other chuckled again, and once again Sanghyuk’s heart leapt in his chest.

“You can call me N.”

“N?”

“Yes, just N.”

“What kind of parent names their child ‘N’?” Sanghyuk was genuinely confused, but the question earned him an elbow to the ribs.

“‘N’ isn’t my given name, dumb! It’s the name I’d rather have you call me instead of it!”

Sanghyuk jumped at the playful contact, forcing himself to remember not to turn around and look at the other as he reached behind himself to retaliate with a hesitant poke to the other’s ribs.

“Fine then, N!”

The elbow returned.

“That’s N-hyung for you!”

Sanghyuk huffed, trying to avoid the attacks he couldn’t see coming.

“Alright, alright, N-hyung!”

They were interrupted by the bell ringing to signal dinner was served, and sobered up.

“Are you going inside to eat?” Sanghyuk asked tentatively, but the other shook his head.

“I’m going inside, but I’m going to meet up with someone first. I can’t join you for dinner.”

“Oh…”

“If you don’t mind, I’ll go on ahead. Please don’t forget about your promise not to look at my face, and don’t question Hongbin about me.”

Sanghyuk nodded, not knowing if the other saw the gesture as he got up from the bench and voicing it for good measure.

“I promise. Will you be out here again tomorrow?”

“Probably… Will you come find me?”

Sanghyuk grinned.

“Probably.”

Again, the heart-stopping chuckle.

“I’ll wait for you, then. It was nice meeting you, Sanghyuk!”