The news come from Ravi, and the worry immediately surrounds Gongchan. That babo Choco...always working too hard! Now, Choco has collapsed after a concert...And really, it’s dumb since it’s already late and he has schedules to go to the next day, but Gongchan’s body reacts immediately. Gongchan’s already on the way out before he realizes he’s heading towards the direction of VIXX’s apartment.

It’s been awhile since Gongchan has visited there. He tries but it seems like Hongbin has been avoiding him, always working on practicing as if it’s not enough already. Gongchan tries to make plans to talk and hang out, but Hongbin keeps turning it down in a roundabout way. Not only that, a couple weeks ago, he was thoroughly confused by Hongbin’s behavior...They bumped into each other and Hongbin congratulated him. Gongchan supposes it’s a congratulations for the drama role, but why then does Hongbin’s eyes look so sad? His smile was flawless and warm, but the eyes were cold, especially when his co-star came. And then Hongbin hurriedly left, claiming he had a schedule to go to.  Gongchan wanted to hold him back, to tell him to stay a little longer, because it’s been awhile and he misses him so much. He misses the silly jokes they tell, and how when Hongbin laughs, his whole body joins in-- Hongbin’s little feet lightly stomping the floors and his hand slapping his back, which lets Gongchan savor the friendly touch that on occasion stays a few seconds longer, and even allowing his hands to linger on Hongbin. Honestly, Hongbin makes him feels things he hasn’t really felt before, and those are enjoyable moments. Sometimes the affection seem mutual.  

Gongchan swiftly pulls open the door to the apartment building, the number to key in to enter has become automatic from the many past visits to Hongbin’s, including one time where he was surprised with homemade food by Hongbin. It tasted awful, but Gongchan was thankful for the gesture and the love behind it...not only that, he was able to guide Hongbin how to cook...which meant being closer to him. He felt warm and fuzzy tingles just thinking about it. Honestly, that was a long time ago. The last time he felt that way was in high school when he was with his crush... it was unrequited and he watched her fall for someone else. It hurt, and he had originally been jealous, but then left so the two could be happy. Hmm, Hongbin’s eyes...they were jealous? Does he love me like I do to him? And then it suddenly occurs to him. He had actually forgotten to tell Hongbin about his drama role in the first place! Ahh, so the meetings he have been having with the actress-noona….! That congratulations wasn’t for the drama, but for getting a girlfriend! Ah, stupid me! She’s not my girlfriend, Kong! And he rushes in more urgently, wanting so badly to clear up the misunderstanding.

When Gongchan reaches VIXX’s apartment door, he is greeted my Ravi. Ravi tells him Hongbin might be sleeping, but leads Gongchan to Hongbin’s room anyway. Or, maybe Gongchan was too worried to wait. Gongchan could feel  his heart expand, like it was going to explode. It hurts him that the misunderstanding is hurting Choco, his most precious person. I love you, only you, Kong-ah! But knowing Choco, who could be very stubborn and a little sensitive and insecure, that babo would think I’m leaving him behind! Idiot, that’s not true. And Choco would totally be like high school him and let the one he loves be happy with someone else while hurting inside. If things continue this way, Hongbin may distance himself. No, please don’t leave me, Kong! Your love only belongs to me. Gongchan needs to fix this.

“Hi Choco!”  

Ah. no answer, Ravi was right...Choco really was sleeping. But, he continues anyways. “Ah, I see you’re sleeping...Um,I’ve been looking for you these days. I-I. Really, it’s not what it looks like! She’s not...She’s not.. I don’t know. We’re just working together on a romance drama. The dates with her...it’s all for rehearsal and practice. It’s doesn’t mean anything to me.” With her, it’s not the same. I only love you.

“...I don’t feel the same feelings and all with her that I feel with you.

.

.

.

She’s not you.

I miss you.”

Please don’t leave me.

Please don’t push me aside please hug me closely.

Return back to me so I can love you again

The emotions are taking a toll on him! He feels so sad.“Kong-ah, you are..” and suddenly he finds himself unintentionally singing...It’s soft and sweet and sad. But it’s true. Choco is sunshine.

...my sunshine…my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away.

I love you. Just you. Always have, and always will.”

Gongchan lets out a sigh, and an awkward laugh. Why is he saying all this now while Hongbin’s sleeping?  “Ah, what am i doing here singing while you’re snoozing away? Bye, Choco…Next time, I’ll say it properly! Please rest well, Choco, rest.”

I love you, babo. Thank you for loving me for so long.