"A mother's hug lasts long after she lets go."

Ryeowook

“Thanks for doing this with me.”

The members nodded, with tired eyes. I pressed the doorbell and stepped aside. The door swung opened and there they were my warmth, my love, my one and only omma and appa. They beamed when they saw all of us together. It had been awhile since they saw all of us together. Omma pulled me into a tight hug, kissing my temple. I bit my lips as I stayed in my omma’s arms just a little bit longer than usual.

“You must have missed your omma, baby.”

I nodded because… Because what else could I say? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting her go, smiling up at her. My appa was next and because he was the more reserved type, he oprted to rubbing my back. It was a simple and innocent gesture but it had my heart beating faster than it usually did, it shifted my emotions into places that were almost out of reach.

“We’ve missed you, Ryeowook.” Appa told me, eyes twinkling as he said those words. It had been a long time since I had came home.

Omma and Appa invited the other members in and omma hugged the other members too and commented on how all of us looked so tired but yet still so handsome. Omma then went on to complaint about how she disliked it when SM mistreated us and made us practise day and night. In fact, it was common for all out parents to say that. I wished, just for once, they’d say something else. Couldn’t they see? No matter how tired we were, we were doing what we loved, what we wanted from when we were young and we’d never give up anything for all of this.

We were living our dream.

“Come in, come in! I’m so glad all of you could make it!” Omma waved her hands in.

The members and I entered the house, all of them making themselves comfortable in the small living room. My family lived in a small apartment in Incheon and although I make a decent amount of money, my parents still refused to move out to a bigger place. They thought that it wouldn’t be worth it since they were the only ones living there. They were always so humble.

My eyes scanned across the familiar house. Everything was still the same but at the same time, it felt so unfamiliar. The furnitures were all the same but they had somehow been moved, the pictures were the same but they were not in the same place six months ago when I dropped by. I then gave a soft chuckle. Six months. How was it even possible that I had not met my omma and appa for six months? Now, I wished I would be able to see them more often. I wished they lived nearer to me. I wished I could see them every day even. Omma and Appa spent a good amount of time chatting with the members one by one and I took the chance to sneak into my room, or rather my room back when I was a teenager.

It was still the same. My blue and purple bed sheet, my trophies I won during those small school singing competitions, my pictures during my childhood and teenage years. Everything made me feel so nostalgic and it brought upon a painful ache in my heart. I walked towards a large poster I kept when I first debuted and traced my fingers lightly on it. I didn’t realize that I was staring until a knock startled me.

“Wook,” Eunhyuk gave a soft smile walking up next to me. “Omma is calling us for dinner now.”

“Alright.” I nodded and then took one last look at the poster.

“We were all so young back then.” Eunhyuk whispered. “Look at us.”

“We had the worst hairstyles back then.”

Eunhyuk and I laughed. Eunhyuk suddenly stopped and I turned to him. He was looking at me but he had a sad look on his face. I gave him a small smile and turned my attention back to the poster. Everything was so perfect back then even if it was scary and it felt like we were stepping into a whole brand new world but that was the thrill of it. The start of something new and raw, something that not everyone in the world got the chance to experience. I never considered how lucky I was to be able to become who I was today. Looking back, I suddenly felt so much more appreciative of what life had offered me thus far.

“Remember when we were all rookies and all we wanted was to debut as soon as possible, wanting to go out there and shine. We didn’t care what group we’d be put in, we didn’t care who was going to be our members, all we wanted was just to finally debut.” Eunhyuk’s voice was full of suppressed emotions. “And now… After eight years……”

Eunhyuk trailed off his sentence when his voice cracked. He looked away from me and started walking out of the door.  Eunhyuk stopped at the door and I heard him, grabbing the doorknob. Eunhyuk didn’t turn around but I could hear it in his voice. He was trying to control his tears.

“Come on, Wookie. It’s time for dinner.”

***

They say that no one really cares unless you’re pretty or dying.

Well… That was not true. Not entirely true. My omma and appa cared. My parents loved and cared for me, they supported and trusted me. They loved me even when I cheated on my tests in school; they loved me even when there were much better looking kids than me. They loved me for everything that I was and wasn’t. It would crush their souls; break their hearts, for them to know what was happening to their one and only son, their one and only child. But I couldn’t lie or keep it from them any longer. I loved them too much.

“It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” Omma smiled warmly, “I still can’t believe you boys decided to take a break from your busy schedules just to accompany Wookie home. That’s really sweet of you.”

“It’s no problem, ommanim.” Sungmin replied politely, adding more rice onto his now empty plate.

“How’s the album preparation going along?” Appa asked.

“We just recorded our new single.” Eunhyuk told him, smiling sheepishly, “It sounds amazing.”

“Well, no doubt, of course everything from Super Junior sounds amazing.” Omma laughed and winked. “It’s because my son is in it.”

I blushed and made a face to my mother. She laughed, her laughter so rich and lively. Her smile had been so genuine and she had looked so happy all this time ever since we arrived. I don’t want to ruin that. I bit my lips, suddenly not wanting to look at anyone. I played around with my food and that was when I felt someone squeezing my knees. I knew it was Kangin who was next to me but I couldn’t look up. Kangin cleared his voice and I wished, I just wished, he could have given me some extra time.

“Ommanim, there’s actually something Ryeowook wants to tell you.”

I finally looked up to my hyung who nodded at me, his eyes showing his support. I couldn’t get angry at him then. He gave me another squeeze under the table and I took a deep breath. I looked at my mother and father in the eye before I finally said it.

“I have cancer.”

I whispered.

Cling.

The metal chopsticks slipped out of Omma’s fingers as I glanced up. My heart felt like it had shattered as both my omma and appa were staring at me from the opposite side of the table. Their eyes were wide with fear and surprise. The silence almost killed me and I wished someone would say something, anything. The members who were usually noisy were quiet as well as some of them looked between my parents and I while some others silently stared at something else, not being able to handle the pain in both my parents eyes and mine.

Appa was the first to break the heavy silence, silently asking, “Cancer? H.. How, Wookie? W... Why?”

I swallowed thickly, “I… I don’t know, appa. I just… I just have it.”

“When did you find out?”

“A few weeks ago.” I answered softly. “I didn’t tell the members until yesterday…. I didn’t… I didn’t want to tell you at all to say the truth... Because… I’m already getting treatment… But the members insisted that I tell you as soon as possible.”

I was startled when omma pushed away from the table, her face emotionless, as she rushed to the kitchen. Everyone exchanged worried glances and some of the members were even tearing up. I refused to cry. I refused to. I squeezed away my tears and stood up and headed to the kitche where Omma had disappeared into. Omma was leaning against the wooden kitchen counter, tearing a box of tea sachets.  I went up to her and touched her shoulders.

“I heard on a show that tea is go.. good for preventing cancer.” Omma blurted out, her hands shaking while she poured hot water.

“Omma.” I closed my eyes, my heart sinking. “I already have cancer.”

“I’m sorry, omma.”

Right this moment, omma let out a pained cry and she spun around and pulled me into her warm embrace. Being in her arms, I felt like a kid again. I wanted to be a kid agai