I had deep understanding for Drop-Face´s laugh. When I walked out of my house on Sunday afternoon, the harsh winter wind stole my snapback. It was like a slap in the face, I even made two steps backwards. I blinked my teary eyes and pitifully went to retrieve my hat that was crouching scared in the corner of the warm building I just stepped out. I put it on my head, my blond hair flailing like a flag. This won´t do, I had to cover the head with the hood of my sweatshirt, tightening the cord, making a small bow under my chin. I knew I looked like an idiot but there was no other way I could survive getting to Sungmin´s place.

I was invited for dinner before my radio show and I was very much looking forward to it. The Lee couple was always welcoming and warm, they were my generation but in times I felt like a child. Child in the way as being loved and pampered. If there was anyone that would put their hand into a fire for me, it would be Lee Sungmin. We weren´t seeing each other that often but I felt his deep concern and care for me. I knew I had to cherish this rare friendship and I did my best.

“What happened to you?!” Sungmin opened the door and it seemed that his eyes would fall out of their sockets.

“Muhuhuhuhu!” Drop-Face was perfectly amused, I ignored him.

The only patch of skin I allowed to be exposed to the icy wind was my face out of the idiot cosplay. That part of my body was now red and swollen, tears were as if frozen in the corners of my eyes, my lips bloated. I had my hands in my pockets and wasn´t brave enough to pull them out already. And I think there was snot under my nose too.

“Nice to see you too,” I chuckled and the stretched skin whitened on my cheeks.

“Come inside, quickly!” Sungmin overcame his ultimate worry and finally found my looks funny. Saeun, Sungmin´s wife, came to help me out of my outer layers and I noticed a small smile on her lips.

“You don´t have to hold back, laugh all you want,” I told her jokingly and she giggled.

When I was free from all my completely useless against the wind layers, I sat down on the sofa and rubbed my hands. I pulled out some small presents I bought, mostly edible, and with my cold fingers pushed them into Sungmin´s arms. The usual you-shouldn´t-haves followed but I ignored those completely, focusing on massaging my cheeks. Saeun brought me a cup of hot tea and returned to the kitchen. Sungmin stayed with me in the living room, holding his very own cup of hot tea.

“Are you doing well, Hyukjae?” He asked me quietly. I guessed he wanted to talk about some things before the dinner.

“Sure,” I returned and dared to touch the burning cup with my bare hands.

“Hyukjae,” Sungmin made me look at him. He wore that worrisome face again and I almost wanted to laugh. I was an adult, someone just a year older didn´t need to act like my parent. “I heard that the issue with Lee Donghae escalated.”

“That´s not true, a few bad comments nothing else,” I tried to shoo the topic off.

“You can´t talk to me about it?” Sungmin then asked and I felt somehow guilty. It wasn´t that I didn´t want to talk to Sungmin about my problems, more like I refused to consider the issue with Donghae as important.

“That´s not it,” I sighed and looked down at the cup in my hands. The dark liquid was blowing white fog into my bloated face, my fingers weren´t blue anymore. “I don´t think I care about strangers´ comments.”

“Then what is it?” Sungmin was determined to have a counselling session with me today.

“Alright, but it´s nothing big, just an interesting happening?” I chuckled awkwardly. I didn´t really want to open the topic, also I didn´t know if I was supposed to.

“Tell me, Hyukjae,” Sungmin sat closer to me, ready to hear out all I had to say. His face was serious and I tried to make him understand that there was nothing serious to talk about.

“Actually, somebody told me something and I connected it to something else. But I´m probably wrong, it´s probably just my imagination,” I nodded to ensure myself.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Sungmin sighed and put his hand on my knee. “What did you hear?”

“It´s about Donghae,” I gave up and looked at him. His face had I-knew-it expression beaming at me. “He seems to be enthusiastic about meeting me sometimes, and he has told me one or two weird things before to me. I didn´t really think much about it, until I heard the rumour.” Sungmin´s hand on my knee was squeezing me. “I heard he´s gay. And that he might be interested in me. But that´s just an assumption!”

“Wow,” Sungmin shook his head, “those are some unexpected worries you have here!”

“It´s not a concern,” I rolled my eyes. Was I trying to convince him or myself?

The room quieted, only the sounds from the kitchen were now coming clearly into our ears. Drop-Face was making weird noises in the corner of the room, his face was on his shoulder today. Sungmin and Saeun also had their monsters of course, two shady bags that always used to giggle at anything I did. I wasn´t looking at any of those creatures, I was watching my thawed fingers holding the cup. The fog stopped raising up like a snake, it was safe to drink the tea now.

“Should I ask around?” Sungmin said the moment I chose to sip from the hot drink. “I´m close to some staff, they might know something. I could gather the rumours for you.”

“No need, really,” I almost spat the tea. “I just misunderstood.”

“Would you mind, though?” He suddenly asked me. I hoped he was joking but he looked only genuinely curious. “I mean, if he asked you out, would you go?”

“No! Of course not, the guy is bad luck!” I quickly refused. “And I´m not into guys, especially handsomer than me.”

“Oh, so that´s the problem,” Sungmin hummed. No, that isn´t a problem! “But you made me curious, anyway, I will secretly ask around.”

And then Sungmin´s wife arrived to tell us that the dinner was ready. I knew that whatever I told my friend today, he would share with her later. I didn´t mind, I just hoped that the whole thing won´t grow even bigger. I was decided that I wouldn´t meet with Donghae anymore. His album and drama promotions should be finishing so I hope there won´t be any other opportunities to see each other. Or so I thought.

“Nice to see you again, Hyukjae!” Donghae said.

It was an event, we had a life broadcast from a stand in front of the building. Many fans came, we had many guests and they sang live. I loved those events, even if it was very cold today. I had hot packs in my pockets but the whole atmosphere was making me excited and warm. Until Lee Donghae stopped me in my quick break behind the stand.

“What are you doing here?” I asked with my eyes wide open. No, Hyukjae, it´s just a coincidence.

“Actually, I overheard something.”

Hello! I almost didn´t update today, such a rough day. How are you all doing? I hope well. Check out my variation on Beauty and the Beast if you want. Thank you for reading,your interesting comments and take care! - PandaHero