We had instant ramen for breakfast. Donghae said he didn´t have any schedule until the evening, I guess he was supposed to sleep now. Just like me. Instead we were both sitting in the kitchen and quietly slurping the noodles. Drop-Face was enjoying the awkward situation, grinning from thumb to little finger as his face was on his palm.

“Thanks,” I cleared my throat and put down the chopsticks.

“Mm,” Donghae only nodded and was about to clean up but I stopped him. He looked at me nervously.

“What did you mean by the text?” I went straight to the point, we had to get rid of this terrible atmosphere. “You said I needed a good doctor, it honestly set me off.”

“That?” Donghae was surprised, his tired eyes dampened with regret. “You got mad because of that message?”

“Of course,” I crossed my arms over my chest. Donghae seemed to have forgotten about the text all together. “You basically told me I was a mental.”

“What? No!” He began waving his hands in front of my face. Standing up from his place, he rounded the table and was standing next to me. Perhaps thinking, that the closer he is the better the message gets through. “Yesterday that Drop-Face was harassing you and I thought,” he rubbed his hair, “I´m so stupid, you misunderstood.”

“Calm down,” I relaxed seeing Donghae panicked. I was looking up at him and when our eyes met, he turned away shyly. For the first time I felt it, or more like registered, Donghae’s romantic feelings for me.

“I meant, that even if you are getting hurt by something that others don´t see, you shouldn´t skip medical treatment. That you should find a good doctor, that won´t question you,” Donghae explained with his eyes on his feet.

“I see,” I bit my lip, “you were worried about my physical health. Sorry, I didn´t catch that.”

“Don´t apologize!” Donghae swiftly retorted. “It was my fault, I said only half and didn´t explain anything.” Then he looked bashfully at me. “Friends?”

I jolted at this offer of peace. Friends? We are good now, the misunderstanding was solved. But is friends what he really wants? Yes, I couldn´t offer him anything more than friendship but still I felt my chest tighten. Maybe I felt bad for Donghae, because I knew about his feelings toward me, maybe I didn´t want to hurt him. But what else was there I could do? And who knows, maybe those feelings he claimed were just words spat out in affection. I couldn´t possibly ask.

“Sure!” I grinned and jumped up on my legs to embrace him. I wasn´t sure if it was kosher to hug a gay friend that was crushing on me, but if it was anyone else like Sungmin, I would definitely give them a hug. That´s why.

“I´m glad,” Donghae only awkwardly patted my back and I pulled away.

“Geez,” I then shook my head, “so much drama this early in the morning.”

“Tell me about it, I´m wasted,” Donghae agreed when we began cleaning the table together. “Go and sit on the sofa, I will bring you something to drink.”

I nodded my head. Honestly, the threatening situation was over so I was supposed to go back home. We both needed some sleep, but at the same time I guess we were both worried, that things might go awkward again if we separate this early after the fight. I shuffled to the leather sofa that was at least as twice as big as mine and slouched down. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it. I was watching the completing sunrise and my eyelids were slowly closing. It´s because the light is so bright, I will only close my eyes because it stings.

Or so I thought. The next time I opened them, it was two o´clock in the afternoon. I was lying on the sofa, the pillow no longer on my belly but under my head. There was a thick blanket over my body and I cuddled to the warmth of it. I had surprisingly good nap.

“Awake?” I tiredly peeked from under the blanket.

Donghae just came into the room. I was sure he only woke up because his attire I identified as pyjamas and his hairstyle as bed hair. His right cheek was red, I could easily tell on which side he slept. Donghae´s feet were bare and his eyes glassy from yawning. Those are the rare times when you call an adult cute.

“Cute,” I mumbled, my vision a little blurred. Donghae blushed and I chuckled because it was funny. I didn´t want to be mean or anything but somehow I began finding it amusing to tease the man.

“I hope you have a stiff neck,” Donghae retorted and shaking his head, he disappeared in his room. I chuckled again but quickly checked if my neck was okay. It was.

I was still pretty zoned out, therefore the only movement I managed was to sit up and hug the pillow again. The blanket was still over my legs and warming them up. My blonde hair was all over the place, I saw myself mirrored in the turned off flat TV in front of me. But I was too lazy to do something about my savage like state and only blankly stared into nothingness. Drop-Face was sitting next to me on the sofa, I saw him in the TV.

Donghae then returned, he looked more like a celebrity now. His hair was combed and face washed, he wore jeans and a branded shirt. But his feet were still bare and he dragged them to the sofa. When Donghae sat next to me I suddenly beamed.

“Why do you look so happy?” Donghae looked at me weirdly and grabbed the remote.

“You just sat on Drop-Face,” I snorted and Donghae jumped up on his legs, staring at the sofa and touching his own .

“It´s okay, he disappeared. But you startled him, he didn´t expect you would sit this close,” I smirked, “good job.”

“Seriously,” Donghae was embarrassed and sat slightly more to the right, a little further away from me. “You shouldn´t have told me.”

“Sorry,” I shrugged, the TV was on and showing a music show. I was quickly immersed in it, music was my job and my life. I didn´t notice Donghae wanted to talk until I heard him clear his throat.

“So, have you thought about it?” He asked.

“Thought about what?” I turned to him. He seemed flustered, a little angry and very embarrassed.

“About what I said into the phone,” he took a deep breath and my eyes opened wide. He´s going all in. “If you mind that I love you.”

I suddenly couldn´t recognize the song playing. I had to know it, it was on the top of the chart for three days already but I heard only deaf tones and muted singing. I´ve been told that I´m loved a few times before, but I swear those words have never sounded so sincere. In the low thumping of the beats, I lost track what were drums and what my own heartbeat. I was touched, in this completely unromantic moment, looking my worst, he told me he loved me. At that moment, I didn´t care he was a man, that he was fishy because I couldn´t see his monster, that he was a star. All I thought was that I couldn´t return those feelings.

“Can I keep being with you even if I don ´t feel the same?” I asked before I could stop myself. It was this strange fear that he would disappear. It was again that abnormal intimacy I shared with him that forced me to cling to him. Donghae appeared to be lost for words. In the end. he nodded and turned to the TV smiling. Smiling really wide.

Finally! The chapter you have been waiting for! It was a good idea to keep Donghae´s message for this chapter :P It made you curious, right? Slowly we are getting to the mystery that makes you even more curious: Donghae´s monster. I will start dropping hints. :3 School starts for me the next week. Thank you very very very much for your comments and for reading my fic. Take care! - PandaHero